A Miraculous Fanblog

I have been dragged into the trash. Miraculous trash.

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

I never know whether or not to believe stories like your cryptid story on this website

I mean it happened, but it is up to you if you want to believe it or not. If you don’t you can always just think of it as a fun storyBut for me this is just a very weird part of my life that I’m still confused about

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

Alya: OMG can you believe that Ladybug kissed Chat Noir??Marinette: Uh well it was to save him right??Adrien: *kicks down door* FUCKING WHAT.

You guys remember when I predicted season 2?

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

Hey since I haven’t been active in forever, who wants to hear a story about how I became a local cryptid in my town?

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

Alright lets do this.

So I live in a small neighborhood kinda thing. Its honestly shaped like someone connected two bongs with a straw that leads out to the street, so very tiny and not a lot of people drive through cause its a dead end, and surrounded by woods Anyways, so it’s Saturday morning, like 3 am and my sister has taken her behemoth of a dog outside. 

Little background, this dog is a saint bernard, lab mix, so he big. Hes also amazingly stupid. He’s only three and we got him a year ago so he still does stupid shit all the time. Anyways hes got a long lead line on him, probably 30 ft, so hes off doing whatever and my sister is kinda dazed, still sleepy. 

Homeboy fucking TAKES OFF and runs into the woods behind my house, taking that lead with him and a good chunk of my sisters palm skin. Whatever he’s chasing has speed, and hes keeping up with it. So I run outside cause shes screaming his name and start to take off after him. I thought that mother fucker would get caught on a tree due to the lead but nope was I wrong. Now the woods probably go a mile back before they hit road, and then stretch around 5 miles horizontally. 

I’m worried this dumb dog is gonna run into the street and get hit, so I run the mile to the street (with my very out of shape body. I honestly thought I was going to die). After like 15 minutes of tripping and trying to make my way through this damn jungle, I get to the street. At this point I still look a human so nothing happens, I dont see him anywhere, and I run back to the house cause I’ve realized I’m in a tank top and boxer shorts with no shoes and its tick season. So I change into a big ass sweatshirt and sweat pants and boots even though its almost 90 degrees out because I do not want to have to deal with ticks. 

After chugging some water I take back off, this time going horizontally. I caught sight of something running so I took off, yelling my brains out, managing to sprain my ankle and rip half my hair outta my ponytail in the process. Around a mile down I lose sight of it so I turn and hike the mile back to the street just to make sure it didn’t go that way. 

After that I go back to my house, and then return to the spot where i last saw him and continue walking till I’m like 2 ½ miles away.

So my trip so far has been 

1 mile to street > 1 mile home > 1 mile horizontally > 1 mile to street > 2 miles home > 2 ½ miles horizontally

So I’m about ready to die. I’m covering in blood from smashing my arm, one of my eyes has turned red cause a stick poked it, I’ve got a limp, I’m breathing like a dragon with asthma, and I’m covering in leaves and sticks. 

I start yelling his name again and hear a bark in the distance so I take off and after like 5 minutes I spot him. He is now howling like a banshee in distress. I book it towards his dumb ass and practically tackle him, which ended up with me covered in a random assortment of shit. Cool, whatever. His leash is tied around two trees so I unravel it and he pounces on me in relief. He’s salivating like crazy so I take him to a stream near by to let him drink.

Mother fucker pulls me in. I’m too tired to be pissed. At this point now that I’m calming down I realize my boots are now soaking wet with both blood and water. I’ve got several scars on my thigh and they all got ripped open. So I’m gushing blood like no tomorrow. I soak my jacket in water and put it on this stupid dog so he wont get burnt on the way back and itll be a bit cooler. So now he looks even bigger then usual. I take my shoes off and toss them over my neck and we’re about to start the trek back when he takes off AGAIN. This time I’m holding the leash and I do not let go. He ends up slipping on a mud bank and taking me with him. With are now covered head to toe in mud, shit, dirt, blood, and whatever the hell else is in those woods.

Some how he has ended up with no major wounds, but now I have a rock lodged in my forehead and blood in my eyes. And my shoes are gone. Whatever, I just want to get home. I pick a direction and walk until I end up in the back yard of someone who lives down the street. 

Lucky for me, this person has barbed wire in their back yard on the ground for some reason, which I trip on. Now I have barbed wire practically wrapped around me like some crazy fashion statement. I wanted to get home so bad I didn’t even bother to rip it off. I’d do that later and return it to the guy or whatever. 

So now its like 6am, so its dark, but you can still see, and its dead quiet. I pull my sisters dog along with me, holding his collar so he can’t take off again. So heres me, covered in blood, mud, and barbed wire, limping down the street, no shoes on, with a large dog wearing a jacket, which, from a distance, you cant tell. Now I smell like whatever was in those woods, and it is a strong smell, so as I walk by any house with a dog outside, that dog starts barking. Eventually the quiet is replaced with dogs howling, barking, snarling at me.  I eventually make it back to my house, but not before passing a dude getting his newspaper or whatever. He’s a good distance away from me and he hesitantly calls out asking if I’m okay. I respond with “yeah” but I’ve been yelling for like 3 hours straight so it comes out as ungodly rasp. He goes right the fuck back in his house. 

I get home, get cleaned up, get the dog cleaned up, and everythings fine. UNTIL a couple nights later my mom goes to a neighborhood meeting thing and hears an interesting story. 

Turns out, there had been a black bear in the woods near my house, which people had been keeping an eye out for, but instead they saw (what they thought) was a “humanoid figure covered in spikes dragging a bear covered in blood around by its neck”

For the next few weeks people were talking about how they heard the “horrific screeching” and how there was blood all down the streets and on the trees. The dude who asked if I was okay was telling everybody that the “thing” growled at him and he could see it had blood red eyes. 

So now theres a rumor about a demon with razor sharp tendrils who feeds on wild animals by slashing them open and drinking their blood. Rumor states that you’ll hear it before you see it, and the sound it makes sounds like a howl and a scream. People later found my boots covered in blood and said it was a “victim” of the demon. A week later a house that was being built caught fire and that was blamed on me, as well as an accident where someone swerved to avoid something and crashed through a house. The stream turned blood red after some heavy rainfall, which was due to the mud, but also blamed on me and some more screeching was heard for a couple nights (coyotes most likely). Due to people “spotting” the demon (which was either their imagination or the actual bear) the rumor grew and grew so now its famous in my neighborhood. 

So yeah thats how I became a “bear killing demon” in my neighborhood. I never corrected anyone because I was too embarrassed. 

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

I’d also like to point out that this was the fourth time this dog has run away, second time that month. I’ve gone after him everytime. Luckily the first time a neighbor brought him back, second and third time he didn’t go far. Fourth time is when he decided to be a huge shit

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

how the actual fuck are u still alive after all those cryptid injuries

I’m one durable son of a bitch

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

I just finished reading the bear demon story and I LOVE YOU

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

Hey since I haven’t been active in forever, who wants to hear a story about how I became a local cryptid in my town?

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

Alright lets do this.

So I live in a small neighborhood kinda thing. Its honestly shaped like someone connected two bongs with a straw that leads out to the street, so very tiny and not a lot of people drive through cause its a dead end, and surrounded by woods Anyways, so it’s Saturday morning, like 3 am and my sister has taken her behemoth of a dog outside. 

Little background, this dog is a saint bernard, lab mix, so he big. Hes also amazingly stupid. He’s only three and we got him a year ago so he still does stupid shit all the time. Anyways hes got a long lead line on him, probably 30 ft, so hes off doing whatever and my sister is kinda dazed, still sleepy. 

Homeboy fucking TAKES OFF and runs into the woods behind my house, taking that lead with him and a good chunk of my sisters palm skin. Whatever he’s chasing has speed, and hes keeping up with it. So I run outside cause shes screaming his name and start to take off after him. I thought that mother fucker would get caught on a tree due to the lead but nope was I wrong. Now the woods probably go a mile back before they hit road, and then stretch around 5 miles horizontally. 

I’m worried this dumb dog is gonna run into the street and get hit, so I run the mile to the street (with my very out of shape body. I honestly thought I was going to die). After like 15 minutes of tripping and trying to make my way through this damn jungle, I get to the street. At this point I still look a human so nothing happens, I dont see him anywhere, and I run back to the house cause I’ve realized I’m in a tank top and boxer shorts with no shoes and its tick season. So I change into a big ass sweatshirt and sweat pants and boots even though its almost 90 degrees out because I do not want to have to deal with ticks. 

After chugging some water I take back off, this time going horizontally. I caught sight of something running so I took off, yelling my brains out, managing to sprain my ankle and rip half my hair outta my ponytail in the process. Around a mile down I lose sight of it so I turn and hike the mile back to the street just to make sure it didn’t go that way. 

After that I go back to my house, and then return to the spot where i last saw him and continue walking till I’m like 2 ½ miles away.

So my trip so far has been 

1 mile to street > 1 mile home > 1 mile horizontally > 1 mile to street > 2 miles home > 2 ½ miles horizontally

So I’m about ready to die. I’m covering in blood from smashing my arm, one of my eyes has turned red cause a stick poked it, I’ve got a limp, I’m breathing like a dragon with asthma, and I’m covering in leaves and sticks. 

I start yelling his name again and hear a bark in the distance so I take off and after like 5 minutes I spot him. He is now howling like a banshee in distress. I book it towards his dumb ass and practically tackle him, which ended up with me covered in a random assortment of shit. Cool, whatever. His leash is tied around two trees so I unravel it and he pounces on me in relief. He’s salivating like crazy so I take him to a stream near by to let him drink.

Mother fucker pulls me in. I’m too tired to be pissed. At this point now that I’m calming down I realize my boots are now soaking wet with both blood and water. I’ve got several scars on my thigh and they all got ripped open. So I’m gushing blood like no tomorrow. I soak my jacket in water and put it on this stupid dog so he wont get burnt on the way back and itll be a bit cooler. So now he looks even bigger then usual. I take my shoes off and toss them over my neck and we’re about to start the trek back when he takes off AGAIN. This time I’m holding the leash and I do not let go. He ends up slipping on a mud bank and taking me with him. With are now covered head to toe in mud, shit, dirt, blood, and whatever the hell else is in those woods.

Some how he has ended up with no major wounds, but now I have a rock lodged in my forehead and blood in my eyes. And my shoes are gone. Whatever, I just want to get home. I pick a direction and walk until I end up in the back yard of someone who lives down the street. 

Lucky for me, this person has barbed wire in their back yard on the ground for some reason, which I trip on. Now I have barbed wire practically wrapped around me like some crazy fashion statement. I wanted to get home so bad I didn’t even bother to rip it off. I’d do that later and return it to the guy or whatever. 

So now its like 6am, so its dark, but you can still see, and its dead quiet. I pull my sisters dog along with me, holding his collar so he can’t take off again. So heres me, covered in blood, mud, and barbed wire, limping down the street, no shoes on, with a large dog wearing a jacket, which, from a distance, you cant tell. Now I smell like whatever was in those woods, and it is a strong smell, so as I walk by any house with a dog outside, that dog starts barking. Eventually the quiet is replaced with dogs howling, barking, snarling at me.  I eventually make it back to my house, but not before passing a dude getting his newspaper or whatever. He’s a good distance away from me and he hesitantly calls out asking if I’m okay. I respond with “yeah” but I’ve been yelling for like 3 hours straight so it comes out as ungodly rasp. He goes right the fuck back in his house. 

I get home, get cleaned up, get the dog cleaned up, and everythings fine. UNTIL a couple nights later my mom goes to a neighborhood meeting thing and hears an interesting story. 

Turns out, there had been a black bear in the woods near my house, which people had been keeping an eye out for, but instead they saw (what they thought) was a “humanoid figure covered in spikes dragging a bear covered in blood around by its neck”

For the next few weeks people were talking about how they heard the “horrific screeching” and how there was blood all down the streets and on the trees. The dude who asked if I was okay was telling everybody that the “thing” growled at him and he could see it had blood red eyes. 

So now theres a rumor about a demon with razor sharp tendrils who feeds on wild animals by slashing them open and drinking their blood. Rumor states that you’ll hear it before you see it, and the sound it makes sounds like a howl and a scream. People later found my boots covered in blood and said it was a “victim” of the demon. A week later a house that was being built caught fire and that was blamed on me, as well as an accident where someone swerved to avoid something and crashed through a house. The stream turned blood red after some heavy rainfall, which was due to the mud, but also blamed on me and some more screeching was heard for a couple nights (coyotes most likely). Due to people “spotting” the demon (which was either their imagination or the actual bear) the rumor grew and grew so now its famous in my neighborhood. 

So yeah thats how I became a “bear killing demon” in my neighborhood. I never corrected anyone because I was too embarrassed. 

[0somethingcool0]

@gallusrostromegalus this story is honestly on par with some of yours

[gallusrostromegalus]

THIS IS FANTASTIC. I’M SO PROUD OF YOU.

[jimrabbit]

You seem to have competition, @vampireapologist

[i-put-the-purr-in-perfect]

..Can you confirm all cryptids are gay now that you’re one.

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

@i-put-the-purr-in-perfect .... confirmed

[what-eats-owls]

Will you ever post more relive the magic ? It's fine if no, but the last time you mentioned it was almost a year ago and I'm curious ^^' hope you're doing okay !!

Soooo I know this is probably gonna cost me some followers, but I’ve been holding off on answering this and variations of this question for a while because I wasn’t sure of the answer.

I am now. It’s a definitive no. And here’s why:

Recently Action Labs released its latest Miraculous comic set in New York. There’s a lot - and I mean a lot - wrong with it. Honestly, I would have just been grossed out by the fact that for some reason, the very underage main character reverts to her civilian mode… completely nude. In an alleyway. In a city. The writers either had to break canon, or invent a reason for their underage female protag to be buck naked for a large chunk of the issue. That’s not a good conflict, that’s just fucking creepy, full stop.

And if that wasn’t bad enough? She covers herself in a cardboard box, then runs into a group of racist caricatures of Black people, immediately assumes they’re looting a store, and then begs them not to kill her. 

So far I’ve seen criticism of this deflected as “oh but the Black people are actually collecting goods to donate and she learns an important lesson!” Sorry, that’s really not how that works. The writers chose for the underage female hero to be naked. They chose for the female hero to look at Black people and see criminals. There’s no fig leaf that covers how heinously inappropriate both of those choices are. 

I wish I could say that well, maybe the showrunners will take these issues to heart and take steps to fix them. I can’t.

Consider this me “going all SJW.” (Side note: the Venn Diagram of “Assholes” and “People Who Use ‘SJW’ as a Pejorative” is a goddamn circle.) What other valuable lessons are going to come out of our heroes’ vile racist beliefs? What lessons are your nonwhite viewers supposed to learn, that even superheroes can’t get over their own racism for ten goddamn seconds? And for fuck’s sake, what lesson are your female readers supposed to take away from this? That not even grand cosmic superpowers can save a female hero from being stripped naked and dumped on the streets because that’s what the all-male writers team wanted?

Sorry, but fuck that. If I wanted racism or sexism from someone who’s supposed to be a role model, I’d follow President Trump on Twitter. I really do hope that ZAG and Astruc figure their shit out, but in the meantime, I’m not holding my breath.

P.S. “Ghetto Blaster” ???!!!

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

God damn was I hoping Thomas's response was an edited screenshot... but nope, it's there on his twitter

*deep breath in* woo boy they really fucked this up. The naked thing I can kind of forgive just because of the nature of it and a couple other things I won't rant about now, but really with the "please don't kill me" and "ghetto blaster"??? Like dude how can you be THAT stupid to not see anything wrong with that, even if they turn out to be good guys in the end, kinda skips the point.

Between this, how the new season is coming, and whatever ZAGs response will be... I dunno if I can keep supporting this.

[fuckingchatnoir]

As you all may know there was am ML comic released that was not only racist but that also sexualized Marinette. You can see the pages that I’m speaking of here and here.

This is not okay at all and I believe that Zag should be aware of the issues with this.

I found their email:  [email protected]  (from their website) and plan to email them my opinion on the matter. Please feel free to message them as well. The more voices the better. And if you do not wish to email them, here is their twitter as well as the creator’s :

https://twitter.com/zaganimation?lang=en

https://twitter.com/Thomas_Astruc?lang=en

[bullysquadess]

Here’s a template message for anyone interested:

Hello, I’m contacting you in regards the latest Miraculous Ladybug comic. I, along with many others in the fandoms, have some concerns over the content of the comic, and feel as though certain details were inappropriate to include. Namely, depicting Marinette (a 14-15 year old) nude, and the entire racist caricature of depicting black men as dangerous looters. This does not represent the ideas that Miraculous Ladybug stands for, and I hope the same can be said for Zag Animation. I urge you to take down the comic, and rethink what kind of message you wish to put out to fans. Signed, (Your Name)

[breeeliss]

reblogging this again for those who need it. make no mistake that these comic panels are 100% not okay and zag needs to know about it

[daughterofthestars]

I am fucking PISSED. I just sent a bunch of tweets and a long email, but please add your voice and make sure they know that this is hurtful and dangerous and very disappointing. This comic needs to be removed and denounced immediately. I can’t believe it ever saw the light of day.

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

WOO BOY now I see why y'all were telling me to check that out, that is a whole bunch of YIKES

Miraculous is better than this, we all know that

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

Do you have a picture of your dog? That is my main concern after reading your cryptid story. I want to see the dog please

I'm planning on posting a picture of him eventuallyMy question for you though is why? Like if you're concerned about his health, don't worry, he's fine. He's just as crazy as ever, the beast even ate my glasses case today

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

If it was dark why were u worried about the dog getting burnt

You know how wearing cool clothes can cool you off? That's what I meant, like I didn't want him to get burnt. I guess that's slang though and "overheated" would've been the right word

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

I'm so sorry I don't know if this blog is even active anymore but I know that I am almost solely responsible for blowing up your notes and I deeply apologize omg

Dude if you are responsible I thank you! I’m glad that many people could find my stupid ass hilarious! 

[0somethingcool0]

I’m happy you’re happy! I tagged a popular blog that likes to post stories in your post and then watched it go from 130 notes, the last two from me, at the time that I liked and reblogged it, all the way to where it is now and it was honestly stunning and slightly horrifying. It was a really great story though! I’m honestly glad it’s getting the attention it deserved lol

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

Haha thanks! Let me tell you I was real shocked when I checked on that post again. Last time I saw it was around 50 notes!

[miraculousdaily]

Marinette and Adrien dancing in Season 2

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

*inhale*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

Hey since I haven’t been active in forever, who wants to hear a story about how I became a local cryptid in my town?

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

Alright lets do this.

So I live in a small neighborhood kinda thing. Its honestly shaped like someone connected two bongs with a straw that leads out to the street, so very tiny and not a lot of people drive through cause its a dead end, and surrounded by woods Anyways, so it’s Saturday morning, like 3 am and my sister has taken her behemoth of a dog outside. 

Little background, this dog is a saint bernard, lab mix, so he big. Hes also amazingly stupid. He’s only three and we got him a year ago so he still does stupid shit all the time. Anyways hes got a long lead line on him, probably 30 ft, so hes off doing whatever and my sister is kinda dazed, still sleepy. 

Homeboy fucking TAKES OFF and runs into the woods behind my house, taking that lead with him and a good chunk of my sisters palm skin. Whatever he’s chasing has speed, and hes keeping up with it. So I run outside cause shes screaming his name and start to take off after him. I thought that mother fucker would get caught on a tree due to the lead but nope was I wrong. Now the woods probably go a mile back before they hit road, and then stretch around 5 miles horizontally. 

I’m worried this dumb dog is gonna run into the street and get hit, so I run the mile to the street (with my very out of shape body. I honestly thought I was going to die). After like 15 minutes of tripping and trying to make my way through this damn jungle, I get to the street. At this point I still look a human so nothing happens, I dont see him anywhere, and I run back to the house cause I’ve realized I’m in a tank top and boxer shorts with no shoes and its tick season. So I change into a big ass sweatshirt and sweat pants and boots even though its almost 90 degrees out because I do not want to have to deal with ticks. 

After chugging some water I take back off, this time going horizontally. I caught sight of something running so I took off, yelling my brains out, managing to sprain my ankle and rip half my hair outta my ponytail in the process. Around a mile down I lose sight of it so I turn and hike the mile back to the street just to make sure it didn’t go that way. 

After that I go back to my house, and then return to the spot where i last saw him and continue walking till I’m like 2 ½ miles away.

So my trip so far has been 

1 mile to street > 1 mile home > 1 mile horizontally > 1 mile to street > 2 miles home > 2 ½ miles horizontally

So I’m about ready to die. I’m covering in blood from smashing my arm, one of my eyes has turned red cause a stick poked it, I’ve got a limp, I’m breathing like a dragon with asthma, and I’m covering in leaves and sticks. 

I start yelling his name again and hear a bark in the distance so I take off and after like 5 minutes I spot him. He is now howling like a banshee in distress. I book it towards his dumb ass and practically tackle him, which ended up with me covered in a random assortment of shit. Cool, whatever. His leash is tied around two trees so I unravel it and he pounces on me in relief. He’s salivating like crazy so I take him to a stream near by to let him drink.

Mother fucker pulls me in. I’m too tired to be pissed. At this point now that I’m calming down I realize my boots are now soaking wet with both blood and water. I’ve got several scars on my thigh and they all got ripped open. So I’m gushing blood like no tomorrow. I soak my jacket in water and put it on this stupid dog so he wont get burnt on the way back and itll be a bit cooler. So now he looks even bigger then usual. I take my shoes off and toss them over my neck and we’re about to start the trek back when he takes off AGAIN. This time I’m holding the leash and I do not let go. He ends up slipping on a mud bank and taking me with him. With are now covered head to toe in mud, shit, dirt, blood, and whatever the hell else is in those woods.

Some how he has ended up with no major wounds, but now I have a rock lodged in my forehead and blood in my eyes. And my shoes are gone. Whatever, I just want to get home. I pick a direction and walk until I end up in the back yard of someone who lives down the street. 

Lucky for me, this person has barbed wire in their back yard on the ground for some reason, which I trip on. Now I have barbed wire practically wrapped around me like some crazy fashion statement. I wanted to get home so bad I didn’t even bother to rip it off. I’d do that later and return it to the guy or whatever. 

So now its like 6am, so its dark, but you can still see, and its dead quiet. I pull my sisters dog along with me, holding his collar so he can’t take off again. So heres me, covered in blood, mud, and barbed wire, limping down the street, no shoes on, with a large dog wearing a jacket, which, from a distance, you cant tell. Now I smell like whatever was in those woods, and it is a strong smell, so as I walk by any house with a dog outside, that dog starts barking. Eventually the quiet is replaced with dogs howling, barking, snarling at me.  I eventually make it back to my house, but not before passing a dude getting his newspaper or whatever. He’s a good distance away from me and he hesitantly calls out asking if I’m okay. I respond with “yeah” but I’ve been yelling for like 3 hours straight so it comes out as ungodly rasp. He goes right the fuck back in his house. 

I get home, get cleaned up, get the dog cleaned up, and everythings fine. UNTIL a couple nights later my mom goes to a neighborhood meeting thing and hears an interesting story. 

Turns out, there had been a black bear in the woods near my house, which people had been keeping an eye out for, but instead they saw (what they thought) was a “humanoid figure covered in spikes dragging a bear covered in blood around by its neck”

For the next few weeks people were talking about how they heard the “horrific screeching” and how there was blood all down the streets and on the trees. The dude who asked if I was okay was telling everybody that the “thing” growled at him and he could see it had blood red eyes. 

So now theres a rumor about a demon with razor sharp tendrils who feeds on wild animals by slashing them open and drinking their blood. Rumor states that you’ll hear it before you see it, and the sound it makes sounds like a howl and a scream. People later found my boots covered in blood and said it was a “victim” of the demon. A week later a house that was being built caught fire and that was blamed on me, as well as an accident where someone swerved to avoid something and crashed through a house. The stream turned blood red after some heavy rainfall, which was due to the mud, but also blamed on me and some more screeching was heard for a couple nights (coyotes most likely). Due to people “spotting” the demon (which was either their imagination or the actual bear) the rumor grew and grew so now its famous in my neighborhood. 

So yeah thats how I became a “bear killing demon” in my neighborhood. I never corrected anyone because I was too embarrassed. 

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

<p>A few answers for some of the questions I’ve seen!</p><p>Me and the dog are both okay! The biggest injury (in my opinion) was my eye/the rock lodged above it. Luckily it didn’t mess up my vision, though I did need to get special eye drops for it. Most of the blood on me came from my scars opening, and it looked to be a lot more than there was because it got mixed with water. I told my doctor about this and she laughed at me. </p><p>The woods behind my house is on EXTREMELY unlevel ground, which is why getting those injuries was easier than it shouldve been. A patch of ivy could easily cover up a giant rabbit hole</p><p>The bear is fine! He (and a couple other rogue bears) were knocked out and taken to a sanctuary, away from people and cars!</p><p>I live in the south, so people are very… superstitious so to say, especially around the part I live in. I have a feeling it started out mostly as a joke, but theres always the people that take it very seriously</p><p>I returned the guys barbed wire by placing it on his doorstep after washing it off. I didn’t know how else to “return” it</p><p>I have not gotten those boots back. I’m just glad they weren’t a good pair </p><p>Guess what I’m dressing up as for halloween tho</p>

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

Hey since I haven’t been active in forever, who wants to hear a story about how I became a local cryptid in my town?

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

Alright lets do this.

So I live in a small neighborhood kinda thing. Its honestly shaped like someone connected two bongs with a straw that leads out to the street, so very tiny and not a lot of people drive through cause its a dead end, and surrounded by woods Anyways, so it’s Saturday morning, like 3 am and my sister has taken her behemoth of a dog outside. 

Little background, this dog is a saint bernard, lab mix, so he big. Hes also amazingly stupid. He’s only three and we got him a year ago so he still does stupid shit all the time. Anyways hes got a long lead line on him, probably 30 ft, so hes off doing whatever and my sister is kinda dazed, still sleepy. 

Homeboy fucking TAKES OFF and runs into the woods behind my house, taking that lead with him and a good chunk of my sisters palm skin. Whatever he’s chasing has speed, and hes keeping up with it. So I run outside cause shes screaming his name and start to take off after him. I thought that mother fucker would get caught on a tree due to the lead but nope was I wrong. Now the woods probably go a mile back before they hit road, and then stretch around 5 miles horizontally. 

I’m worried this dumb dog is gonna run into the street and get hit, so I run the mile to the street (with my very out of shape body. I honestly thought I was going to die). After like 15 minutes of tripping and trying to make my way through this damn jungle, I get to the street. At this point I still look a human so nothing happens, I dont see him anywhere, and I run back to the house cause I’ve realized I’m in a tank top and boxer shorts with no shoes and its tick season. So I change into a big ass sweatshirt and sweat pants and boots even though its almost 90 degrees out because I do not want to have to deal with ticks. 

After chugging some water I take back off, this time going horizontally. I caught sight of something running so I took off, yelling my brains out, managing to sprain my ankle and rip half my hair outta my ponytail in the process. Around a mile down I lose sight of it so I turn and hike the mile back to the street just to make sure it didn’t go that way. 

After that I go back to my house, and then return to the spot where i last saw him and continue walking till I’m like 2 ½ miles away.

So my trip so far has been 

1 mile to street > 1 mile home > 1 mile horizontally > 1 mile to street > 2 miles home > 2 ½ miles horizontally

So I’m about ready to die. I’m covering in blood from smashing my arm, one of my eyes has turned red cause a stick poked it, I’ve got a limp, I’m breathing like a dragon with asthma, and I’m covering in leaves and sticks. 

I start yelling his name again and hear a bark in the distance so I take off and after like 5 minutes I spot him. He is now howling like a banshee in distress. I book it towards his dumb ass and practically tackle him, which ended up with me covered in a random assortment of shit. Cool, whatever. His leash is tied around two trees so I unravel it and he pounces on me in relief. He’s salivating like crazy so I take him to a stream near by to let him drink.

Mother fucker pulls me in. I’m too tired to be pissed. At this point now that I’m calming down I realize my boots are now soaking wet with both blood and water. I’ve got several scars on my thigh and they all got ripped open. So I’m gushing blood like no tomorrow. I soak my jacket in water and put it on this stupid dog so he wont get burnt on the way back and itll be a bit cooler. So now he looks even bigger then usual. I take my shoes off and toss them over my neck and we’re about to start the trek back when he takes off AGAIN. This time I’m holding the leash and I do not let go. He ends up slipping on a mud bank and taking me with him. With are now covered head to toe in mud, shit, dirt, blood, and whatever the hell else is in those woods.

Some how he has ended up with no major wounds, but now I have a rock lodged in my forehead and blood in my eyes. And my shoes are gone. Whatever, I just want to get home. I pick a direction and walk until I end up in the back yard of someone who lives down the street. 

Lucky for me, this person has barbed wire in their back yard on the ground for some reason, which I trip on. Now I have barbed wire practically wrapped around me like some crazy fashion statement. I wanted to get home so bad I didn’t even bother to rip it off. I’d do that later and return it to the guy or whatever. 

So now its like 6am, so its dark, but you can still see, and its dead quiet. I pull my sisters dog along with me, holding his collar so he can’t take off again. So heres me, covered in blood, mud, and barbed wire, limping down the street, no shoes on, with a large dog wearing a jacket, which, from a distance, you cant tell. Now I smell like whatever was in those woods, and it is a strong smell, so as I walk by any house with a dog outside, that dog starts barking. Eventually the quiet is replaced with dogs howling, barking, snarling at me.  I eventually make it back to my house, but not before passing a dude getting his newspaper or whatever. He’s a good distance away from me and he hesitantly calls out asking if I’m okay. I respond with “yeah” but I’ve been yelling for like 3 hours straight so it comes out as ungodly rasp. He goes right the fuck back in his house. 

I get home, get cleaned up, get the dog cleaned up, and everythings fine. UNTIL a couple nights later my mom goes to a neighborhood meeting thing and hears an interesting story. 

Turns out, there had been a black bear in the woods near my house, which people had been keeping an eye out for, but instead they saw (what they thought) was a “humanoid figure covered in spikes dragging a bear covered in blood around by its neck”

For the next few weeks people were talking about how they heard the “horrific screeching” and how there was blood all down the streets and on the trees. The dude who asked if I was okay was telling everybody that the “thing” growled at him and he could see it had blood red eyes. 

So now theres a rumor about a demon with razor sharp tendrils who feeds on wild animals by slashing them open and drinking their blood. Rumor states that you’ll hear it before you see it, and the sound it makes sounds like a howl and a scream. People later found my boots covered in blood and said it was a “victim” of the demon. A week later a house that was being built caught fire and that was blamed on me, as well as an accident where someone swerved to avoid something and crashed through a house. The stream turned blood red after some heavy rainfall, which was due to the mud, but also blamed on me and some more screeching was heard for a couple nights (coyotes most likely). Due to people “spotting” the demon (which was either their imagination or the actual bear) the rumor grew and grew so now its famous in my neighborhood. 

So yeah thats how I became a “bear killing demon” in my neighborhood. I never corrected anyone because I was too embarrassed. 

[0somethingcool0]

@gallusrostromegalus this story is honestly on par with some of yours

[gallusrostromegalus]

THIS IS FANTASTIC. I’M SO PROUD OF YOU.

[erdariel]

@amiraculouspieceoftrash do you mind if I use the “demon” as the base of some demon/demonish creature in my fantasy world? (Which I will never finish anywhay but what the fuck, I can plan it anyway)

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

@erdariel Go right on ahead my dude, please share if you ever get around to it!

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

Dude! My Dude! I STG, your Cryptid Story! The old saying - Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction! I laughed so hard! Then started imagining...I got strangely inspired...if I ever do get around to finishing all my WIPs, can I use your experience in a story? Whatever, it doesn't matter, it's ok, I just love this and will think on this for a long time and laugh every time! Oh, and hey, I hope you and the Puppers were ok. But what was your Sister doing the whole time?

*looks at my pile of WIPS* I know that feeling son. And yeah if you really want to, you can! I’m glad it could make you laugh! Me and that turd of a dog are fine! A little more scars then we had previously, but hey, we’re still kicking!

Ugh my sister, dont even get me started!! She was “looking” on the other side of the house and driving down the main road directly behind the forest near my house. She didn’t really look as hard as she could’ve but I think that’s cause she was too stunned and upset, so I don’t blame her

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

Ok OK I, a person with depression and anxiety issues who can't fucking laugh, I just read your story and I'm really sorry for your misfortune, but it was fucking hilarious I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard!!!! OK demon you did good!

I know what its like to have depression and anxiety my friend, I’m glad my misfortune could bring a smile to your face! That itself makes it worth it! 

[amiraculouspieceoftrash]

I'm so sorry I don't know if this blog is even active anymore but I know that I am almost solely responsible for blowing up your notes and I deeply apologize omg

Dude if you are responsible I thank you! I’m glad that many people could find my stupid ass hilarious!