"there is no personal space when it comes to vet med" idk if you mean with owners or pets but I FEEL THAT I work in hospitality not vet care but people will fucking walk within a foot of me to ask questions and I'm like bro. Please. Personal space???
Oh no, worse than that. Sometimes you need 2 or even 3 people to help restrain a really hyper dog for something short like a blood draw and there's not a lot of room around a dog for 3 human bodies to fit so your face will be right by someone's butt or your knee might be in someone else's crotch. Or with a small squirmy dog where doc needs to listen to the heart but you need to hold it against your body there's a good chance the stethoscope-holding hand is going to hit your chest.
And sometimes you're holding a dog or cat for an exam and the owner is trying to comfort them by petting them and suddenly they're petting you too (they generally don't realize this)
This happens SO OFTEN
Or YOU'RE the one trying to pet the animal, and accidentally pet the CLIENT instead 😭
Or when the owner doesn't hand you the small dog so you have to reach into their embrace for the dog and are basically guaranteed to accidently cop a feel.
"You can take him!" Or... you could put him on the table so I can get hold of him and not *you*????
a few more:
-client with tiny yorkie tucked IN HER BRA and his foot got stuck and she absolutely could not get him out and he was scratching her and she started crying so yeah...I unhooked the dog's hock from her bra
-my tech was holding a big somewhat aggressive rottie who was, unfortunately, only actually handleable if the client was holding her head. client proceeded to fart. in my tech's face. I felt so bad
-too many cats that velcro onto their human or the tech when you try to examine them so you have to either examine them with their tiny needle claws dug into the human's shoulder (inevitably copping a feel) or having to peel the poor kitty off the person while getting in REAL close and often pulling clothing in very awkward ways
then there's the unfortunate times you need to provide canine sex ed to clients who are not breeders, have no interest in breeding, and had no idea that their neutered dogs could still have sexual reactions. this means I've had to:
-inform one client that his dog was, in fact, sucking himself off (I said it nicer than that; the client's response was, "Oh. oh I'm rather proud of him actually.");
-another that yes, prostate stimulation will cause erections when I was doing a rectal exam and she was really confused about that and then had the revelation about how anal penetration works for men in real time in the exam room;
-and just today, that yes, neutered male dogs will still hump other dogs and can in fact get erections and sometimes you need to lube those penises up and stuff them back in if they won't fix themselves or your dog needs to come in for urgent care. she sighed, looked at her husband, and said, "well, I guess we need to go buy some KY."
vet med is, inevitably, a source of awkward amusement and it never gets old
Vet at work just had an appointment where the owner had their 3 year old kid in the room too. Kiddo was very friendly but with no personal boundaries, frequently touching vet and tech while he was running around the room. Vet thought the kid was just leaning on her but when she looked behind her, he was basically pressing his face into her buttcrack through her pants. Vet left the room beet red and the tech in the room was laughing her ass off
Today a client held my hand, which i was currently using to restrain the dogs head during the exam. Sir. Please let go. My hand does NOT feel like your dog.
Today, while I was restraining a bitey little dog snugly against my chest the owner decided she wanted to hug him to comfort him. So she held him around his chest. Which was currently against my chest. So the back of her hand was squished between her dog and my boobs.
Later, she thanked me for being so gentle with her bitey dog and did so while placing her hand on the small of my back. And she kept it there. For an entire minute. While I was still restraining her dog.
Today while I was restraining a scared small dog the owner tried to reassure her dog by scratching the dog's chest. Which i was holding against my body. So I got some extremely awkward belly scritchies.
Today while restraining a small-ish dog who kept trying to back up out of my grip, the owner asked how she could help. I asked her to brace his rear end.
Which she did! She did do that, but with one hand and the other was more on his flank. Which was against my chest. And she was rubbing her fingers up and down his side to calm him so I got a very gentle, accidental tit massage.
But you know what, the dog stopped panicking so it was worth it.
An owner was holding up the front half of their very friendly, hyper labrador so I could look at a lump on the chest to play "nipple-tick-mass" . I had my hands near the front legs to part the hair and she death-gripped onto my arm.
"Ma'am? That's my arm. That's my arm? You have my arm? Can you let go that's my arm?"
Hey husband had to tell her that she had me and not the dog and she was so embarrassed but good natured about it.
But I'm also like... I naturally have very very little arm hair? My arm does not feel like the leg of a labrador? Why did she not go "hmmn, this textile doesn't seem like a dog texture"???





















