[communicants]

Mossane (Safi Faye, 1996)

[growaglow]

Alain de Botton

[ashstfu]

i wish there were more than 24 hours in a day and beverages were $1 and growing up didn’t hurt so much

[ammunitionlove]

the pain of growing up and growing old is different than what they tell you. you don’t mourn your younger self as much as you mourn the younger versions of everyone around you.

how your two younger brothers will decide to be an engineer or a navy seal or a pilot. aren’t they still the little boys that dressed up as indiana jones and played with monster trucks?

your childhood best friend is dating the same boy from middle school but she doesn’t live in the house with the toy room loft. she had the cool barbie house. you haven’t spoken since middle school.

your grandparents have more grand babies, and hearing issues, and a declining mind, and trouble walking sometimes.

or maybe you think about your parents, and how they were so excited when your youngest sibling was born. you had to wait until they arrived home from the hospital to meet him. he’s graduating high school next year. empty nesters, I think they’re called.

and now you live in an apartment with a boyfriend and two cats and a big girl job and you are many miles away and you never miss being young but you miss the way the air smelled the summer before your sophomore year, and your childhood chocolate lab, and your grandpa’s key lime pie.

it’s really the simple things, isn’t it?

[tullipsink]

i wish i didn’t flinch every time you went to hold me

[sunsbleeding]

[ammunitionlove]

we meet at a carousel

to see the pretty lights

a simple parade of favorite animals

familiarity, monotony

same difference.

I choose the giraffe

you the rhino

the argument begins with a high note

in the elevator music

only a musician’s ear could hear

I was always bad at the flute

and you even worse at piano

fatal flaw?

all at once I get what they mean

“we’re going in circles”

“circular reasoning”

“you said that already”

but the carousel goes round

and round 

and around yet again.

how much longer can I repeat myself

before I become a relic in an abandoned strip mall?

before the paint begins to chip

and my smile becomes garish

and ugly

and sadder yet?

[ammunitionlove]

?

my brain is buzzing with what if’s

once again

too much to drink tonight

who would’ve thought?

I would rather a real breakup

than a friend one

I think you mean more to me

but maybe I just hate you?

I've never felt so lonely

in the middle of summertime

no longer a danger to herself

is this what it feels like?

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

Euphoria S00E02 ‘Fuck Anyone Who’s Not a Sea Blob’

[saintmelangell]

"Please," she said, "you're so beautiful. You may eat me if you like. I'd sooner be eaten by you than fed by anyone else.”

CS Lewis, The Horse and His Boy

[dankmemeuniversity]

[dead-poetsblog]

Sylvia Plath, from The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

https://www.instagram.com/deadpoetsblog/

[written-w0rd]

Salma Deera, Letters from Medea

[ammunitionlove]

he-man woman hater

yeah girls support girls but I don’t support you and even though we’ve never met and we’ve followed a similar path in life there is something about you I cannot stand.

maybe it’s because you had him first but let’s be honest I’ve never been bothered by sloppy seconds or whatever you want to call it so I really think it’s a you problem.

maybe this is antifeminist of me.

maybe I have underlying jealousy issues.

actually I know I have underlying jealousy issues but that’s a topic for another day.

the thing about you is the way you ripped his heart out of his chest and still want him to fail and yeah there’s two sides to every story and I’m sure you’re a very nice girl but aren’t we a little old to still be cheating on people?

I mean, maybe I’m not one to talk.

I mean, I made that mistake when I was younger than you and I sure as hell learned from it.

I mean, I have a superiority complex and it’s not really fair to judge you but I can’t help that being judgmental is kind of fun sometimes.

It’s weird how alike we are but still so different and I think in another lifetime we would be great friends but I will never forgive you for making him love you and not loving him back the way he deserved.

I think the whole thing just hit close to home. Maybe I’m a little harsh.

[ammunitionlove]

this aged terribly.

[ammunitionlove]

I’m out of practice

I wish I could communicate the emotions I feel but it’s too complicated to put into words.

Taylor Swift was onto something when she said “happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time”. I want to go back to when I didn’t understand those lyrics.

I am in love with everyone I’ve ever met and I hate them intensely simultaneously. How do I become indifferent? What if I don’t want to be indifferent?

Imagine an ocean wave rolling through a forest fire, salty and smokey and sweet. The fire never goes out. How do I fight the fire?

Maybe that’s too abstract.

I want to be a simple girl and I am not. Please, God, I know I never speak to you but I would like to be simple. Every fiber in my body needs to be simple.

I want to be alive but I hate my will to live.

[jadorefilm]

[the-shooting-star]

Franz Kafka, in a letter to Milena Jesenská (June 15, 1920)

[ammunitionlove]

#c