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@amnememneiae
Just found 2 copies of a 19th century naturalism magazine and LOOK AT THEIR LITTLE ICON
OMG this is so so cute!
I know just enough about snails that putting the eyes not on the eye stalks pings uncanny valley to me, and this not only gets it right but does so in an incredibly adorable way.
I keep trying to record something on how books are bad at writing fighting training, and it keeps being like 12 minutes long
Bad as in prose? Or bad as in how training to fight actually works?
I'm just curious
The latter.
Basically, "more skilled person just beats the person they're training at sparring until the person they're training improves without doing any fundamentals or teaching them the right way to do things" is a cruel and useless form of "training" and only makes sense if you're trying to show that the "teacher" is being cruel or doesn't know how to teach. Showing it as a legitimate and useful form of training indicates to me that the author didn't bother to do any real research.
There are sort of two ways to look at it as a trope.
It’s either one of those tropes that has no real world basis, but looks/sounds cool in storytelling and is useful for moving the plot along (see: torture, knocking someone unconscious, a lot of medieval fantasy government stuff)
Or it’s one of those things where the overlap between people who write books and people who practice martial arts is so small that most writers trust the trope blindly and never think past it.
Just a few tips from someone who's been doing HEMA fighting (and training) for about a year
-Drills. So many drills. Just doing the same motion, or set of motions, over and over and over until it's muscle memory. And then do it some more. These can be done with another person, so you can get a feel for hitting someone (else's sword), or they might be done to a dummy, or just to the air as part of a series of steps
-there is a surprising amount of reading! A lot of what we do is based on styles that originated in the 11th-15th centuries, and were literally written in manuals for future people to use. Sometimes the explanations and diagrams are very clear. Sometimes they are not.
- There is sparring, with variations on goals. Sometimes the goal is just 'hit each other'. Sometimes you will have specific caveats, like if you both deliver a 'killing blow' at the same time you have to run to opposite ends of the room and back
- Footwork drills
- lots of wrist and arm stretches, both with and without swords
- Moving through different blocks/base positions, and practicing different cuts from each position
- More drills, wearing armor or other appropriate gear
- Weights and cardio training! Both are extremely important for making sure you can 1. Swing your sword and 2. Keep swinging your sword when you're wearing 15 lbs of armor and have been hacking at people for a full 20 minutes
- Learning how to maintain your gear
- Practicing control of the blade- this is usually done by having a dummy target (or sometimes a real person), and swinging with full power but stopping before you actually make contact. Master swordsman can bring their blade within half an inch of their target.
- Even more drills
Obviously some of this is pretty modern, but I can't imagine that it would be incredibly novel even to people from 600 years ago. And if you have any questions, please feel free to ask!
Adding onto this with even more things, now that I'm nearly 2 years in and have done a couple of tournaments!
Footwork drills are really important! Learning how and when to move, and shift your weight on your feet, is crucial
When practicing solo I often do so in front of a full-length mirror so that I can actually see what I'm doing
There is also just a lot of sparring. Unfortunately you can't really get good at sword fighting without getting your butt kicked. A lot.
However! A good teacher will give you tips either during or after the fight, or both! A lot of the time it's things like 'you need to improve your footwork more, here are 10 different drills. Go do them.' However, there is also a fair bit of going back over certain 'plays' in slower motion, where they'll tell you exactly what you did wrong and how to fix it in the context of the fight.
Also, just as a side note, unless your character is the progeny of a wealthy lord, they are probably going to use borrowed equipment. It will not fit right. And it will reek with the stench of 1000 sweaty people. And if you train in it enough, when you do get your own gear that actually fits properly and only smells like your sweat, I swear you get 5x better overnight
At some point, everyone develops their own style. I've fought people who love to just make huge stabby lunges, people who make wild flourishes, big guys who just brute force it, guys who look like they'd blow away in a light breeze but are the fastest people you've ever met. It comes over time, and from learning as many different techniques as you can
Not sure how much they did this in Ye Olden Days but almost everyone I've met in HEMA now fights in at least two different styles (usually longsword and Sabre or rapier). As I said above, the more styles you learn, the better you get at all of them; many techniques that you learn from one style are applicable in some way to the other
Thats all I can think of for now, but if anyone has any questions feel free to reach out!
i was gonna make a joking sex post about the big swords in pidw but the more i think about it, xuan su is equally as destructive to yue qingyuan as xin mo is to luo binghe. they both represent the toxicity of certain aspects of ideal masculinity.
we all know that xin mo poisons luo binghe's mind, makes him angrier and more irrational, literally is powered by either fucking or slaughtering people. when luo binghe wields xin mo, he openly displays sexual dominance and bloody violence as methods of conquest, which reinforces ideal male power AND the way luo binghe embraces his demonic side. luo binghe can wed and bed thousands of women, but in truth, he is alone.
xuan su isn't as showy, but it's equally as unhealthy a force. every time yue qingyuan unsheathes xuan su his life force depletes. he will die! so he suppresses both himself and the sword (by virtually never using it; the polar opposite of luo binghe). he will never verbally state his true feelings because that's weak for an upright human man, and especially for an upright human man in his position.
yue qingyuan can and does wield masculine bravado. he has a reputation for being impartial (ideal intelligence and wisdom) and extremely powerful (ideal physical strength). but even with all those emotions churning inside him, all that guilt and grief, he will lock it all inside. no crying. no genuinely opening up. his inability to just spit it out is a major part of what costs him the person he cares about most. he doesn't have any close friends or family outside of work.
yue qingyuan doesn't have a harem like luo binghe because instead of wielding his sword all over the place, he keeps it forever hidden. xuan su is just as toxic to yue qingyuan, isolates him just as much from genuine love and connection, and leaves him just as fundamentally empty, unhappy, and alone as xin mo does to luo binghe.
They said it couldn’t be done.
They said it was impossible.
They underestimated Tyb Hawke’s ability to be aggressively obnoxious and/or flat out aggressive at the most obnoxious times.
My claim to fame.
my cat sits next to my chair and meows so sadly until i help her onto my lap and im like. baby i love you but i have witnessed you achieve 6ft vertical leaps onto the fridge. do NOT play with me.
"father you must help me i am so small and helpless and i cannot figure out how to climb your chair without assistance" okay then explain THIS, criminal.
I've just been absolutely rambling in my notes app about Monstrous Regiment. Like.
It's such a silly premise at face value, a regiment where every single person is actually a woman pulling a Mulan (or, rather more fittingly, a Sweet Polly Oliver), but then you read it and it's about blind faith, the pitfalls of war and organised religion, how we use those things to hide hatred and fear. It's about gender roles, and how flawed the idea that “If women were in charge, there'd be no wars” is. It's about people, and human nature, as almost every Discworld book is, when you get down to it.
It's got a coffee-addict vampire. What's not to like?
It wimdy
OH NO HER BLOOMERS
Inspired by this post by @firawren, my top five moments in all of Jane Austen's novels:
5. Henry Tilney making up a ghost story for Catherine on the way to Northanger, in Northanger Abbey it's really cute, she is so happy about it, and my favourite part is that he can't keep going because he is laughing too hard.
But Henry was too much amused by the interest he had raised to be able to carry it farther; he could no longer command solemnity either of subject or voice, and was obliged to entreat her to use her own fancy in the perusal of Matilda’s woes.
4. The game of Speculation in Mansfield Park, it's such a masterful display of all the different character's personalities through how they play the game, I love Sir Thomas not wanting to play with his wife because he doesn't want to lose, I love that Fanny tries to lose so William can win, Henry Crawford playing three hands at once and this making him so happy, the whole thing is amazing.
Sir Thomas, after a moment’s thought, recommended speculation. He was a whist player himself, and perhaps might feel that it would not much amuse him to have her for a partner.
3. Sophia Croft telling off her brother about his opinion of women in Persuasion:
I especially love that she's verbally smacking him down for gallantry. Don't flatter women by calling them weak! Sophia Croft protests!
“But I hate to hear you talking so like a fine gentleman, and as if women were all fine ladies, instead of rational creatures. We none of us expect to be in smooth water all our days.”
2. Mrs. Weston abusing human rights by suggesting a standing buffet at the ball in Emma:
This one is so funny to me because it sounds like Tumblr hyperbole and it's something we totally do today, but no, human rights violation!
Mrs. Weston proposed having no regular supper; merely sandwiches, &c., set out in the little room; but that was scouted as a wretched suggestion. A private dance, without sitting down to supper, was pronounced an infamous fraud upon the rights of men and women; and Mrs. Weston must not speak of it again.
Random Coffee Girl cock-blocking Elizabeth & Darcy in Pride & Prejudice:
I like this one so much because this is the one chapter in the novel where Elizabeth's feelings are very strong and irrational. She's been so cool about Darcy, but now she's IN LOVE and it's not going well:
The gentlemen came; and she thought he looked as if he would have answered her hopes; but, alas! the ladies had crowded round the table, where Miss Bennet was making tea, and Elizabeth pouring out the coffee, in so close a confederacy, that there was not a single vacancy near her which would admit of a chair. And on the gentlemen’s approaching, one of the girls moved closer to her than ever, and said, in a whisper,— “The men shan’t come and part us, I am determined. We want none of them; do we?”
Random Coffee Girl blocking our ship! And yet I love her for it.
Runner Up: So as to not forget Sense & Sensibility, the scene where Elinor and Marianne get stuck behind Robert Ferrars in line and he's the most annoying person to wait behind ever:
At last the affair was decided. The ivory, the gold, and the pearls, all received their appointment, and the gentleman having named the last day on which his existence could be continued without the possession of the toothpick-case
Excellent list! Especially the toothpick case one. God Robert Ferrars is a douche.
Here's the link to my list
Started reading the Jurassic Park novel
All of this happens bc they refused to stop misgendering the T.Rex btw
What the fuck the dinosaurs are woke
Via IG
much to ponder on my thinking pillow
With the great power of friendship, comes great discounts
GOD I MADE SHEN YUAN LOOK SO PUNCHABLE SJ is clutching a fist of rage under his robes.
Ten years in the making: The story behind the award-winning photo of an elusive brown hyena stalking Namibia's diamond ghost towns.
LOOK AT THEM THEY'RE SO CUTE 😭😭😭
Update: Sauron is not afraid of hobbits. He was unaware that hobbits existed up until very recently. he literally did not have time to be afraid of them, they went from a 0 to 100 threat level in twenty seconds. There he was, minding his own business worrying about the usual Elves and Men when suddenly these kids are on his lawn and now he’s dead, like just;
What did— who–
did I just get one-shotted by an infant how is this occurring
Honestly I have to love this whole thought process that the Fellowship must have cultivated in Sauron, like…
“These children have found the Ring! But they’re taking it to the elves, of course. I will simply have to catch them on the way.”
“Well, the elves are still not to be trifled with, it seems. It looks as though they have a group of intrepid heroes, how cute! Wait, who’s leading them? Aw, hell.”
“OKAY! Olorin’s out of the way, and now I can finally kill them all and reclaim the- OH DAMMIT, IT’S IN LOTHLORIEN.”
“Well, okay. They’ve taken it onward. Curunir says one of the halflings is still carrying the ring, so he’s going to capture them and we’ll see how this develops. Thankfully Olorin’s still out of the picture and their little group just shattered into pieces, so that’s one less thing to worry about.”
“Aaaaaand Curunir shat the bed. Excellent. Trees, who would have thought? Okay, so we’re back to plan A: conquer Gondor, because if the Ring’s going to be anywhere, it’ll be there.”
“Wait, who’s on the– Isildur’s WHAT? Ohhhh. Ohohoho. Oh now everything makes sense. Isildur’s Heir is back, and he’s here being all prideful again. That’s fine. Really. I’ll just crush him and his kingdom, and then nobody can stop me!”
“WHAT? FUCKING WHAT? THEY SENT HIM BACK? Ugh, alright, alright, I’m cool, I’m fine. He’s still got that stupid wizard costume on, and I’m still stronger than he ever was. It’s not like he can come toe to toe with me, even if he does have an army behind him. This’ll be fine.”
“They’re… actually marching on the Black Gate? Sweet lord, I didn’t think they’d actually do it! This is perfect, everyone’s right here! Olorin, the human princeling, most of the remaining fighting forces of Men, all I have to do is kill them now and– Wait. Someone just put on the Ring. Someone just– That’s a halfling. They’re inside the mouNTAIN OH GOD NAZGUL GO GO G–”
…aaaaaand curtain.
you can laugh but that is literally what happened
This is the single best brief summary I have ever seen of the entire point of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
the “what do you fear, my lady?” scene where eowyn talks about “a cage” is undoubtedly a great one however it’s kind of a loss that the dialogue that directly preceded it is not there in the film because
OH MY GOD
“WHEN THE MEN HAVE DIED IN BATTLE AND HONOR, YOU HAVE LEAVE TO BE BURNED IN THE HOUSE”
what kind of raw female dialogue holy shit
