Inspired by this post by @firawren, my top five moments in all of Jane Austen's novels:
5. Henry Tilney making up a ghost story for Catherine on the way to Northanger, in Northanger Abbey it's really cute, she is so happy about it, and my favourite part is that he can't keep going because he is laughing too hard.
But Henry was too much amused by the interest he had raised to be able to carry it farther; he could no longer command solemnity either of subject or voice, and was obliged to entreat her to use her own fancy in the perusal of Matilda’s woes.
4. The game of Speculation in Mansfield Park, it's such a masterful display of all the different character's personalities through how they play the game, I love Sir Thomas not wanting to play with his wife because he doesn't want to lose, I love that Fanny tries to lose so William can win, Henry Crawford playing three hands at once and this making him so happy, the whole thing is amazing.
Sir Thomas, after a moment’s thought, recommended speculation. He was a whist player himself, and perhaps might feel that it would not much amuse him to have her for a partner.
3. Sophia Croft telling off her brother about his opinion of women in Persuasion:
I especially love that she's verbally smacking him down for gallantry. Don't flatter women by calling them weak! Sophia Croft protests!
“But I hate to hear you talking so like a fine gentleman, and as if women were all fine ladies, instead of rational creatures. We none of us expect to be in smooth water all our days.”
2. Mrs. Weston abusing human rights by suggesting a standing buffet at the ball in Emma:
This one is so funny to me because it sounds like Tumblr hyperbole and it's something we totally do today, but no, human rights violation!
Mrs. Weston proposed having no regular supper; merely sandwiches, &c., set out in the little room; but that was scouted as a wretched suggestion. A private dance, without sitting down to supper, was pronounced an infamous fraud upon the rights of men and women; and Mrs. Weston must not speak of it again.
Random Coffee Girl cock-blocking Elizabeth & Darcy in Pride & Prejudice:
I like this one so much because this is the one chapter in the novel where Elizabeth's feelings are very strong and irrational. She's been so cool about Darcy, but now she's IN LOVE and it's not going well:
The gentlemen came; and she thought he looked as if he would have answered her hopes; but, alas! the ladies had crowded round the table, where Miss Bennet was making tea, and Elizabeth pouring out the coffee, in so close a confederacy, that there was not a single vacancy near her which would admit of a chair. And on the gentlemen’s approaching, one of the girls moved closer to her than ever, and said, in a whisper,—
“The men shan’t come and part us, I am determined. We want none of them; do we?”
Random Coffee Girl blocking our ship! And yet I love her for it.
Runner Up: So as to not forget Sense & Sensibility, the scene where Elinor and Marianne get stuck behind Robert Ferrars in line and he's the most annoying person to wait behind ever:
At last the affair was decided. The ivory, the gold, and the pearls, all received their appointment, and the gentleman having named the last day on which his existence could be continued without the possession of the toothpick-case