The Bright Sessions
PR's Tumblrdome
blake kathryn
Cosmic Funnies
untitled
Cosimo Galluzzi
almost home
🪼
noise dept.
shark vs the universe
RMH
art blog(derogatory)
EXPECTATIONS
ellievsbear
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
Phantogram Three
hello vonnie
No title available
Show & Tell
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from Vietnam
seen from Ecuador
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from South Africa
seen from Costa Rica
seen from Canada
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from Bangladesh
seen from T1
seen from Myanmar (Burma)
seen from Colombia
seen from Russia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
@amysteriousburning
it's truly insane how much more functional society would be and how much happier everyone would be if every job was perpetually 10% overstaffed (and people who weren't needed could chill and rotate in when needed while still getting paid) instead of 10-50% understaffed but that wouldn't be 'efficient' (in the short term, for shareholders) so fuck everyone I guess
Extremely rude of the human body to not give reports detailing exactly what's wrong, and how
And brother, I’m proper gandering
you think that you're so alone in the world then you read literature from hundreds of years ago and you realize that other people have always felt this way
your loneliness has ancestors, your soul has company ⋆˙⟡♡
Not really a great day, mentally and emotionally. Some of that, I think, is tied to not doing to well physically still. Not being able to walk much isn't doing much for my mental health, either, never mind being able to run and have that as an energy sink, and the cabin fever is getting real. Some of it, I think, is still things dredged up in my last EMDR session, and they probably need some working through to make any progress.
I feel lonely and... bored? Understimulated? Like there are parts of me that don't have anywhere to go, sort of. I know M wants me to be happy and is around a lot and tries to be there, but that's only one dynamic, or one part of a dynamic, and no amount of that will make a whole. I'm not even sure exactly what that dynamic is or what's missing - I can look at times things have not felt like this, maybe make some guesses - but both finding that and even figuring out what I'm trying to find feel pretty like pretty big, hard things right now. I can kinda make guesses from the past - that something that's probably triangular and somewhat asymmetric is probably kinda right - but exactly what that looks like, I don't know. For all I know, all I really want is a best friend. Or to be someone's best friend. But I am pretty sure it's more than that, that things that work best for me are something like romantic + QPR triangles or something. I just wish I knew what, and I wish I had whatever that is right now.
I don't have a whole lot to add to this, other than questioning why "we" give such a shit what's in other people's pants, or in their chromosomes (and shoutout to the intersex folx who are probably particularly fucked by all of this?), instead of who people are.
Last therapy session was definitely more than some have been, and in a good or at least productive way. Noted (called out?) that using gendered language with me was jarring, in a way I didn't expect. J was super OK with this, but it's given me something to think about as well. What, exactly, bothers me, and why? Also dug into more relationships with EMDR. Old relationship stuff, really, and I think it did a lot to go through it at the time, but it's also dragged up a bunch of thoughts and feelings into dreams and idle moments. Stuff about ENM, safe havens and secure bases, the relationship dynamics I... not so much as want, but end up in, and am happier in. Things with some uncomfortable truths about where I am now, and that I think I need to face at some point, but are pretty scary. A fear of change, and a fear of leaving my comfort zone in some ways, but also feeling that at least I know what direction that needs to go. And, in some ways, that I have started taking small steps towards.
Joy Sullivan, from “Culpable”, Instructions for Traveling West
Those last two paragraphs resonate a lot. The first just because ADHD and executive dysfunction mostly, if I'm honest. Making decisions takes effort, and especially when it also involves other people, or any sort of resources, it also means responsibility. Anyone taking that off my shoulders and on to themselves is giving a great gift.
The last line, though, I think is much more important in general. No choice is still a choice. Not taking action is still choosing a path. Maybe it's because I've found the concept of OODA loops pretty valuable, or maybe it runs the other way around. Whatever the reason I think of it a lot, it's true that life in not turn based. It doesn't wait for you, and often making any decision is better than the default of no decision. Especially since moving on to the next decision after that is valuable, too, even if the decisions you make aren't always perfect - it's much better to have made twenty decisions that are 80% correct than just one that's 99% correct. These two things are, as one might expect, rather at odds with each other. Can't have it too easy, after all.
I am weirdly happy to see that quality paper will still be available for special occasions. Good paper is an important part of life.
Very much feeling the slower to heal effects of being older at the moment. I'm not sure that's 100% what it is, mind, but that's the feeling I get. Dental stuff under the break
Wisdom teeth came out a few weeks ago, a decade or two after the typical age for that. Three healed up fine, no issues, no serious pain. One was pretty OK, and then something went "pop!" when I opened my mouth to take a bite of something a few days ago. Oral surgeon says nothing is broken, no remnants, just likely slow to heal + maybe food gunk was in there, OTC painkillers and give it time. It's awfully swollen, though, and hurts quite a lot more than when they came out, and it doesn't seem to be getting better in much of a hurry.
Amy Kierstead: The Eye of the Forest
This feels like it's on the line between relaxing forest walk and something @valdevia would come up with that is still a forest walk but not at all relaxing.
deciding one day that you want to build a life for yourself is so scary. like damn I really want to live… I’m new to this. where do I even begin
There is so much everything in the world. Sometimes this is a blessing, sometimes it's a curse, but it's definitely an adventure either way. I felt like I was figuring things out in my early 20s. Now I feel like I'm figuring things out in my late 30s. I'm assuming I'll have a lot to figure out in my 50s. Might as well get used to it, I guess.
"oh it's mens mental health month not pride month" what if... it's both
Then they fight and we see which one wins?
(Spoiler, it's mental health month. My mental health is a lot better since I've been much less a man.)
A trip
So I went on a trip. Maybe I'll post photos sometime - there are some good ones - but I'm pretty terrible at actually doing that. But it was a trip with friends that I haven't seen in half a decade, doing the things we did half a decade ago, hiking and going places where nature is unwelcoming. In some ways, it's amazing how little changed and we could just pick back up. In other ways, it's amazing how much they have changed. I wonder how much they think I have changed, too, and for the better or worse. It's also remarkable how much good that kind of trip does for my soul. It's hard on my body, for sure, but makes me want to make my body better, and there is a lot about it that fills some desire inside me to do the hard things. Anyways. That's what I've been up to. Not dying in the Canadian Rockies, connecting with old friends, taking photos, and thinking about life and change
Have I missed it or has Tumblr not yet had a trend of shipping literal ships. Probably anthropomorphized, but I wouldn’t wager too strongly on that
It feels like the right combination of weird, comedic, and ship-based that often takes the site by storm for a week or two
Where’s the ship of Theseus (original) x ship of Theseus (new) art. That feels like it would have a bajillion notes
Reblog in hopes of more visibility. I would like some ship shipping action. Heavy lift ships carrying svelte yachts on their decks. A meetcute as two cargo ships wait for the Evergiven to be unstuck. Any port in the storm, but there's only one berth for two boats. An unlikely romance between a fishing trawler and a tugboat.
I'm reminded of these wise words from Mr. Fred Rogers on what would have been his 98th birthday. We are all in this together. Let's renew ourselves to the fight for the common good. It's all the more important during these difficult times.
Even if "WWJD" isn't your thing (which is fair, though I think a lot of people who notionally follow him could stand to seriously ask themselves that), "what would a children's entertainer think of this?" is a surprisingly good approach to life.
There's like coffee and cigarette people and energy drink and vape people. And like, milk and cookies I suppose.
Coffee for sure, though I never got into nicotine (thankfully). Though, yeah, that's the trend in my circles, too
