$LAYYYTER
cherry valley forever
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DEAR READER
we're not kids anymore.
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Xuebing Du
Not today Justin
Game of Thrones Daily
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Cosimo Galluzzi
izzy's playlists!
@theartofmadeline
Product Placement
Three Goblin Art
hello vonnie
macklin celebrini has autism
NASA
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@an-jellybean
A Little Reminder For You...
Your writing should always be first and foremost for you. Do it because you love it, not because of the amount of likes a quote might get on tumblr, or for the number of hits on AO3. It’s okay if you never get published or if your book isn’t marginally successful. It’s okay. Why? Because if you’re writing for the right reasons, you’ll find in each and every word you write the satisfaction you need.
the choking yoke of anxiety
I studied as a scholar in college, and one of our requirements to maintain the scholarship every semester was to subject ourselves to a counseling session. I think that was the university’s way of keeping our mental health in check.
My trips to the guidance counselor’s office were actually very therapeutic. My counselor was a wise old nun, and she always made me feel like home was only a heartbeat away.
Med school is no different. We also need to see our mentors at least once every bimonthly. Mentors know exactly how holistically draining it is to study Medicine, since they were once medical students themselves. Hence, during mentorship sessions, they radiate beaming rays of empathy and encourage us to purge out our frustrations. I could still vividly remember how I shamelessly broke down in front of my mentor during the first bimonthly. PURE GUILTLESS CATHARSIS.
I never really liked opening up to people. But the lifestyle that I chose to lead is rather stressful, and that somehow necessitates me to not bottle up my feelings in order to keep my sanity. :))
After all the required appointments with counselors and mentors, they never labeled me with anything that required further professional help. No disease, no disorder. I am completely normal. Mentally healthy, mentally fit. Which is something I should be happy about. I am. I really am. But...
Is it completely normal to wake up in the middle of the night feeling irrationally nervous, with my heart thumping so fast as if it’s threatening to come out of my chest?
Is it completely normal to have sweaty palms and soles while being confined in a cold, fully air-conditioned room?
Is it completely normal to have random feelings of suffocation while being in a very open space?
Is it completely normal to have my worries visit my dreams, when it's supposedly the only time of the day that I should get some rest?
Is it completely normal to obsess over all the possible ways of how I could fail miserably?
Is it completely normal to doubt myself so much, that it actually paralyzes my drive to realize my full potential?
...I think not.
You see, I may have not ticked off some signs and symptoms to warrant a psychiatric diagnosis, but that doesn’t mean I’m thoroughly okay. I have been riding this internal roller coaster for as long as I could remember. The G-force probably went up to its maximum this time, and my poor body finally gave in and manifested the motion sickness. Right now, I’m a big puke machine. Figuratively.
Some people tell me that there are others who have it worse. That may be true. But that doesn’t mean I have it easy either. Truth of the matter is, we each have our own set of sufferings to bear. Sufferings in different scale and gravity. We don’t get to decide which among us should and shouldn't feel worried. Absolutely none of us has the right to invalidate someone else’s response to stress just because we deem their struggles irrelevant. Simply put, we don’t get to dictate how other people should FEEL. Period. The world is in dire need of empathy. Just a little of it would go a long way.
So as my internal roller coaster ride goes on, the vomiting continues. But persistent vomiting, from what I’ve learned, pose one big risk: choking. But God appeared just in time to perform a Heimlich maneuver on me. He rescued me before my airway becomes completely blocked, before my systems are deprived of oxygen. The finest first-aid I have ever received.
Indeed, He saves. He delivers.
While yes, my yoke may sometimes choke me, but God comes along fully equipped with His life-saving measures. It’s amazing how God makes His presence known during times of adversity.
My life is no bed of roses. It is far from perfect. God didn’t promise me a life without struggles. But He did promise to strengthen me. And that behind my suffering is a wonderful sense of fulfilment.
Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.
the world never delivers on its promises
Make more money and you'll be happier, get a bigger house and you'll feel satisfied, buy fancier clothes and people will admire you - the materialist's mantra. But there is always a bigger house, someone making more money and a new style that makes your expensive wardrobe obsolete. Pursue things that deliver: take care of each other, love one another and believe in God. These are things that deliver, and that's a promise.
I WILL LICK MY PLATE UNTIL IT'S SQUEAKY CLEAN
Me: Ma oyy. :(( Gikapoy nako'g skwela. Dili ko inspired. Kapoy kaayo ni'ng routine nako kada adlaw. Di nako kabaw mu-suwat. I commit unforgivable grammatical blunders and aaaaggh. I'm a failure. :( I just have too much on my plate right now!
Mom: THEN EAT THEM ALL. FINISH YOUR PLATE.
Exactly what I needed! I love my mother!
And I wonder if someone would ever look at me like that.
I AM 10 YEARS LATE OF ACQUIRING THE F4 FEVER. HOPING THIS FEVER HAS NO CURE. :))
blairwaldorfings(.)tumblr(.)com/post/56711451729/dude-you-have-no-idea-how-much-it-sucks-to-have
omg. that’s the best photoset ever! do i know you personally? how did you know i’m such a fan? thank you for this! please come out of anon and let’s be friends! :)
Gie, I can atttempt to answer only 1 question sa. is that world peace cannto be relaized. Because humans are all unique and different, And the reason why wars always and will always happen is because humans regard themselves as better than other humans and therefore when "other" human beings cannot keep up to their standards of what is righteous and moral then tension occurs leading to war. Furthermore, war also happens because it is an innate human need to dominate. ..
Utterly brilliant! I can just imagine you saying this in your 100 words/minute talking speed. :)) Thank you so much, Teej for actually sparing a little of your time to answer.
***
Judging from what you wrote, I’m getting the idea that you equate peace with the absence of war. Am I right? But is that the true meaning and essence of peace? The absence of war? Hmm.
TUOD UY, GIMINGAW NAKA OG PHILO?HOT ANG PHILO TEACHERS?/Na-TRAUMA nako kang Sircio Chan hahhaa
Yes, I miss Philo. ^___^ Hahahahahaha! When I was writing that post, Sir Josh Groban and a new Philo professor my friend was gushing about came to mind. I never thought of Sir Chan until you pointed it out. lol
and i keep on praying for more moments like these, when we can just goof around and be happy, and not care nor worry about life for a little while :) i will forever thank God for my girls ❤
Very, very unflattering photos of myself. -.-" But I don't think I have flattering ones, either. meh! Hahahaha Nevertheless, I love the stories behind these captured moments and of course, the people in them ❤
britneyspearsgifs(.)tumblr(.)com/post/50526412594
Hello. Thank you for sending me a smiling Britney gif. She’s such a cutie! :) :) :) Is that your way of smiling to Tumblr people? Creative! Heee~ Wish you’d come out of anon, though! :))
Might reconsider resuming my guitar lessons if I had these guitar picks. Ohhmmmyy!
MARVEL ME, YES?
Contrary to popular belief, the main reason why I enjoy my Philosophy classes is how mind-stimulating the topics are! Professors ask us a question, then the next thing I know, my drowsy mind is off to its 5K run (hahaha!) --- AND NOT BECAUSE PHILO PROFESSORS ARE HOT - which is kind of true but that's only the third reason why I love my Philo classes *____*
***
I could go through an entire day just sipping tea and discussing matters I find interesting. I have listed questions that haunted me since... ever? Hahaha! I hope you would take time to scroll down and ponder a little. I wish they boggle your mind as much as they boggle mine! Hahaha And it would be such a delight if you share your stand and insights to me? Here we go...
Why do we gladly submit ourselves to people who would rather give us a lifetime of misery?
Are we really free? Why and why not?
Why do we struggle to find our purpose in life? And how do we determine our purpose?
How can we distinguish right from wrong?
Why do we all seek social approval (even if it means not being ourselves)?
Why do we prevent ourselves from putting our heart out on a limb and would rather choose to struggle with feelings and internal roller coasters on our own?
What does "moving on" entail?
Why is there suffering?
How do you intend to make this world a better place?
How can world peace be realized? What is world peace, really?
Why do we condemn homosexuals/bisexuals? When somebody romantically loves someone of the same sex, does that make him/her less of a person?
Why is external beauty considered shallow? Aren't we all beings of physicality?
If there was no money in the picture, would you still be motivated to be more?
Is love logical? Support your answer!
If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Should a person still stay married to an oppressive and unfaithful partner?
How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
Can a relationship survive betrayal?
Why do we always try to unearth the past despite all the hurt it brings?
I can go on forever but I think these are enough for now. I may have formulated arguments about these issues but they're so weaaaak. ;___; After reading the thought-provoking list, I know you're planning to counter me with a question: GIE, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO COMPLICATE THINGS?? STOP ASKING THESE QUESTIONS! Hahahaha, I told myself the exact same thing but I can't help this messy, ugly art of thinking!
Please do flood my inbox and share your thoughts through my ask box or submit box... or better yet, let's arrange some time to talk these things over personally? yes! hahaha :) Nothing would make me happier than elegant tapestry of quotations, musings and realizations. ♡
Prayer is not a ritualized mumbling of words but a song of thanksgiving or a dance of praise; it is anguished cries or pleas from a yearning heart.
If your prayer has no emotion, it has no power. God wants to know how you feel. God wants to hear what's in your heart.
MAN UP
I told my friend how I plan to share my political and social views in this blog and she responded with "Really? So not you!". This has taken me aback. What is "so me", then? I'm afraid I hafta write another post about that. But now, SURPRISE, SURPRISE! This is my first so-not-me political post. So dear friend, stop reducing me to someone who only loves girly stuff, mmkay? :) Photos are Googled. Copyright infringement not intended.
***
Behold the overrated peace sign! I bet there are countless photos of yourselves holding your hand up to a number two (which I honestly don't understand; how can number two resemble peace? lol). But do you really mean to spread peace when you hold your hand up like that every time you get your picture taken? Or do you only pose like that because cute Asians do that a lot?
Every time the president delivers the State of the Nation Address, activists never fail to line up on the streets, carrying huge placards, shouting at the top of theirs lungs and soaking in the heat of the sun. Hence, policemen from different stations were sent to Commonwealth Avenue for the dispersal operation against the activists.
Whenever I hear the word cop, an image of an armed man, shooting the lives out of troublesome individuals comes to mind. But PO1 Joselito Sevilla gave me another image - an armed man with a mesomorph build flashing an unimaginable, wait for it - peace sign!
Before the riot began, he tried to negotiate and calm the demonstrators down with a peace sign; that he did not want to resort to such drastic actions. He reminded us that after all, policemen are peacemakers; not violence provokers.
But that tiny gesture didn't seem to work. Reports revealed more than 60 people got hurt by this inhuman brawling. As the rumble intensified, there was PO1 Sevilla, feet glued to the ground, helpless and was desperately sobbing as he sunk in all the collateral damage that came with his job.
Weakling. Fag. Wuss. To sum up a person like that, with such watered down adjectives is nothing less than degrading!
People may think he's chickening out but I think he's actually manning up. A real man does not need to have that invincible and tough exterior. Wearing your heart on your sleeve and letting your guard down can be really tough, and being able to do that takes a lot of courage. These I think, make you a real man - letting others see you, feel you.
So, are you ready to man up? Do you have enough testosterone to promote peace and show your emotions? Do you now mean peace when you hold up your hand to a number two?
DEFINE NIÑA VENICE
n. a woman who has achieved so much in life and turns a year older every 11th of July
adj. see below
N - atural. You don’t try so hard to be someone/something you’re not. You’re just… well, you.
I - diosyncratic. But hey, aren’t we all? :))
Ñ - ael. It’s really cool that you wanted to start the name of your someday son with a really unusual letter. :)) I tweaked your photo and the supposed father (don’t kill me, please?) and Ñael will prolly look like this: Hahahaha
A - nxious. Anxiety consumes you most of the time! Your anxiety has been your driving force; you get things done on time so you don’t have to worry about meeting deadlines. It is beyond admirable that you’ve turned this weakness into a strength.
V - ain. You have infinite photos of yourself on your phone and you shamelessly drown out Fu’s camera roll! We can’t help but keep up with your vanity insanities. :DD
E - nigmatic. You shift moods everyday (bipolar? hahaha); you’re serious but at the same time carefree. Ohhh. How you boggle my mind! But I don’t care. You’re the kind of mystery I wouldn’t mind spending years to unravel. Char! (you should have an enlarged liver by now!)
N - ifty. You don’t need the makeup overload to look nifty. Some concealer and a little dab of lip tint and you’re good to go! :>
I -nspiring. You have no idea how much you inspire me. I won’t even try to expound on this one. This is already a given fact. You inspire everyone!
C - hrist-fearing. You remain undeterred and optimistic despite all the obstacles that life has hurled at you for twenty years because you surrender it all to Him!
E - xtrovert. You're active, expressive and uber-friendly. Whenever we turn a corner, you always bump into old friends and acquaintances and end up chatting with them.
Although, there’s one thing about our friendship that I deeply regret – that is, it took us three long semesters to finally be close to each other. Perhaps the universe was waiting for the right timing (?) I’d like to think so. :) Anyway, let’s keep our friendship drama-free, okay? :)
Wishing you a slice of eveything nice… Happy Twentieth! :*
WRITING: ACCEPTABLE FORM OF GETTING NAKED IN PUBLIC
Can I be any more naked? Hahahahahaha! I've never written publicly (well, except for this blog which is semi-public lol) since 6th grade. I will forever hate my high school for keeping our school publication (the Equinox) dormant. Pardon my amateur writing skills. Visit conusxu.weebly.com to read the entire issue :)
BLOG DOWN UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE
There are no goings-on in my life lately. Like, TOTAL STASIS. My studies are vying for my full attention and nobody seems to read this lame blog, anyway. Meh.
