SOLDIER, DISPLACED.

DEATH IS MY BUSINESS & BUSINESS HAS BEEN GOOD. ✪ i've got triggers to pull & blood to spill & a hundred days to learn how to kill. ( bless me father, for i have sinned. ) -j.b.b.

[anachrcnism]

       did she? OR was the widow officially strung up in her own web of lies? she wished for a blank slate, to wipe away the past BUT, life doesn’t come with a reset button. humanity holds grudges and she’s betrayed many. maybe she never even allowed herself to ‘have’ anyone.

                           “ i thought i did but– i’m not sure i’m clear on the truth anymore. “ 

       she’s found a new level of monotony and emptiness. the inflection painting the picture of how hollow she is; something she never shows.

            that space inside her is something bucky recognizes. he still feels the edges of the winter soldier like a ghost creeping cold into his heart. behind the mask, those grease painted eyes had been EMPTY. natasha’s perilously close to being consumed by her own demons.

                                                   “ the truth can change, y’know. ”

[veilled-deactivated20160315]

send one for my muse’s reaction to your muse ---

[violacexus-blog]

florror:

alternatively send ‘ + ‘ after the symbol for the roles to be reversed where possible !

✘ = hugging them . Δ = playing with their hair .  ❤ = kissing them .  ₪ =  asking them out for dinner . ☀ = giving them a gift of ___ ( asker’s choice ) . ♘ = stabbing them . ♕ = bowing down before them . ♒ = lying to them .   ✿ = buying them flowers . ☾ = being found shirtless . ♢ = reading them a story . ☂ = giving them their jumper to keep warm . ✎ = speaking in a different language . ✏ = teaching them a different language . ▄ = telling them a joke . ♬ = singing to them . ☹ = insulting a loved one . ஐ = slapping them . ✂ = threatening them . ❃ = dancing with them . ▤ = falling asleep on them . ☮ = waking them up after a nightmare .  ♣ = discovering them crying .  回 = patching a wound .  ✮ = stargazing . ▓ = caught stealing their belongings . ☽ = wandering alone at night . ♡ = complimenting them . ≡ = offering a place to stay overnight . ☢ = falling over . ✦ = being well-dressed . ❂ = wiping blood off their face . ◎ = taking care of them while ill . ☁ = being caught in the middle a storm with them . ⇕ = holding their hand . ↱ = being lost with them . ☠ = pushing them against a wall .

[anachrcnism]

Unceremoniously does the door open to show a small blonde, however, seeing the visitor made her light up. “Hello,” she practically grinned,” I got a little email from the redhead that kicks ass, gave me a little job. Thought you’d like it….also sorry for the smell. Hope it doesn’t make you sick. Come on though, I think you’ll like this,” she was buzzing with excitement. She had been waiting, overjoyed with her work of course.

“I’m Holtzmann.” She says as she vanished within the jungle she worked in,” you should sit down, I advise it for what I got for you,” she called. After the disaster in NYC, well of course the team had been mentioned about through SHIELD. Jillian however was given more interest due to her rather artistic bending of metal to form things people would dream of. When she had been contacted for this, she was more than eager to start right away, payment or not.

            he remains standing. grey-blue eyes sweep over the space, gaze snagging on bits of metal and wires exposed to the open air. something in the back of his mind notes that this whole building seems like one fire hazard after the next. another, stronger, impulse takes to counting the entrances and exits and wondering just the slightest bit about the strange stains on the ceiling. ( steve would like this place. bucky does too, somewhere inside him. the debris reminds him of howard’s lab, flashes of messy order and electricity.

                            “ --------- bucky. heard you’ve got somethin’ for me. ”

            carefully, bucky picks his way across the room and into the museum of technology that seems to be holtzmann’s work space. it’s cluttered, chaotic, and just a bit hazardous; he likes it. 

[anachrcnism]

➣ ——-             Peggy had a very small, unnoticed role in the Howling Commandos. She stayed behind the lines, planning the attacks with the rest of them. They’d never let her in the field, even if she could hold her own. It apparently just wasn’t ladylike.            She absentmindedly scanned the map, tapping a pen carefully against the table. Captain Rogers was busy, and his second in command was the sergeant, so she had him sent for. She needed a better understanding of the area they were planning to go to, but everyone else was busy. She needed a second pair of eyes, because every plan she tried to put in place had some type of flaw.            As he walked up, her gaze snapped upwards to meet his, and she straightened her back, standing up from her seat.           ❝Yes, I did. You’re not busy, are you?❞

                                                “ would it matter if i was? ” 

            the smile he gives her is more lips than teeth, the edge of his mouth curling up just slightly to create a tight line. “i’ve got your number”, it says. whether he trusts her or not, bucky remains standing, giving peggy the respect she is due. and if he’s waiting to see who will sit first, then there’s no one around to fault him for the challenge in his eyes.

                                               “ what can i do you for ?            i’m assumin’ you didn’t call me down here just to take a look at my pretty face. ”

            though his words border on the edge of flirting, there’s no charm left in them. if there’s one thing this war has taken from him, it’s this: dark nights lit up by the lights of a dance hall, stolen kisses on the walk to his and steve’s shitty apartment, heeled feet moving to the rhythm of music too happy to exist on the front lines. these days, even a song feels like a blessing.

[anachrcnism]

                                                                                        ( @waragcnt. )

            the command tent is bustling, lights strung up by the entrance and officers striding in and out, the flap of canvas and flutter of files the music of their march. bucky rolls his shoulders --- his muscles have been tense ever since azzano, and nothing has seemed to ease the knots sitting on his spine --- and steps inside the tent. immediately, he is hit with the overwhelming notion that HE DOESN’T BELONG. steve’s the leader, not him; bucky’s only claim to fame is finding impossible goods for the boys and shooting real well. ain’t no reason he should be here with the movers and shakers of the war. but peggy had called, and he’s never been one to ignore a lady. especially one with good aim.

                                    “ you said y’ needed to speak with me, carter? ”

            bucky finds peggy in a more isolated corner of the tent, head bent over a map the size of a small tablecloth. his hip rests against the edge of her makeshift desk, body language all confidence, while his voice carries the wariness of a man learned not to trust. 

[anachrcnism]

Captain America: Civil War

"Did you know about this?"

"If you do this, they will never stop being afraid of you."

"I can't control their fear, only my own."

"Can you move your seat up?"

"Couldn't you have done that earlier?"

"I hate you."

"Clearly retirement doesn't suit you, get tired of playing golf?"

"Well, I played 18, I shot 18, just can't seem to miss."

"First time for everything."

"Made you look."

"Anyone ever tell you you're a little paranoid?"

"I know you're nervous and you have every right to be, but you're lying."

"Do you even remember them?"

"I remember them all."

"How long are you gonna play both sides?"

"Are you incapable of dropping your ego for one god damn second?"

"I'm not the one who needs to watch their back."

"Are you sure about this?"

"I can't trust my own mind."

"So you like cats?"

"How long do you think you can save your friend from me?"

"Well, then... what are you doing here?"

"I didn't want you to be alone..."

"The people that shoot at you, usually wind up shooting at me."

"I don't do that anymore."

"Well, the people who think you did are coming here now. And they're not planning on taking you alive."

"That's smart. Good strategy."

"It always ends in a fight."

"Shit! I thought it was a water truck. My bad!"

"You seem a little defensive."

"Well, it's been a long day."

"Oh, you're going to have to take this to the shop!"

"Who's speaking?"

"It's your conscience. We don't talk a lot these days."

"Are we still friends?"

"That depends on how hard you hit me."

"Give me back my ____!"

"I said I would help you find him, not catch him."

"What's up tic-tac?"

"I can do this all day."

"Ugh...what time zone is this?"

"Sometimes I just want to punch you in your perfect teeth."

[anachrcnism]

                                                                                          ( @radiiumheart )

            he feels OFF BALANCE, a tilt-a-whirl of a long ago limbless state. it’s been decades since bucky has felt anything other than the solid weight of reinforced steel on his left side, and the clear air underneath his shoulder is...disconcerting. he hasn’t said anything about it to what few allies he’s found himself with, of course, but, even so, he’d received note of an address to visit in lieu of stark’s lab. natasha always did know how to read him best.

            it’s in chinatown where bucky now stands, heavy jacket pinned up under the remainder of his arm as he assesses the state of the building: crumbling infrastructure, alleyway with scorch marks, the pungent smell of ginger and soy. his boots fall heavy on rickety steps, the THUNK of metal in the toe more than enough announcement to his arrival. barnes knocks anyway.

                                                                               “ -------- hello. ”

[eriklehvsherr]

(insp.)

[anachrcnism]

                 THIS AIN’T A SCENE, IT’S A GODDAMN ARMS RACE STARTER CALL      ( hit the like button to receive a starter of some undetermined length from your friendly neighbourhood defrosted murder machine. )

[anachrcnism]

        He knows he shouldn’t react in the way he did, the flooding of blood through every inch of his body – the ringing in his ears. Every moment felt like he was breaking some sort of wall down within his body. While the flesh was built like a mountain, the soul was a crumbling hill. His blue eyes met the others, his tense shoulders FORCIBLY relaxing before he nodded at his question. It was were Steve spent most of his nights, sleep finding him so rarely that it was more often than not he’d go days without a blink. He tried to keep that to himself. 

                           “Just trying to get a work out in.” 

        As Bucky goes to pull a bag himself, his gaze follows almost conflicted about what to do. This was a moment Steve wanted to AVOID, the relinquish of pain and frustration sought in privacy. The mask couldn’t fall, he couldn’t all the seemingly PERFECT persona to have a blemish. He blinked a few times before flexing his sore knuckles. 

                                            “What about YOU? Why are you up so early?” 

            A SOFT SNORT makes its way past closed lips. the past is flashes in the middle of the night, it’s hands that know how engine grease feels in the cracks of his palms and what to do when someone’s lungs are closing in on themselves. the past is a part of him that knows steve rogers needs to work out just as much as howard stark needed his ego stroked. that is, to say, not one damn bit. the thought ‘ he always was an awful liar ‘til, one day, he wasn’t ‘ rises unbidden as bucky’s body eases into a loose coil in front of his own bag.

            this steve is different than the steve bucky barnes knew. then again, this bucky barnes is different than the bucky barnes steve knew. perhaps they’ve both changed to fit this grim future, seventy years a yawning cavern between one man and the next. 

                          “ the real question --- ” a grunt and the forward strike of a fist,                                               “ --- is what i’m doin’ up so LATE. “

            once his hand had made contact, the fearRAGEguiltCONFUSION wells up like a festering wound. barnes hopes that maybe steve won’t notice if he angles his shoulders away as he lays into the canvas.

[widxwsarchive-blog]

@voskresit ❤’d for a starter

        “i don’t have anyone left.” a personal admittance breathed aloud for him to hear. although, she wasn’t sure if the man behind the machine was truly there listening or if she spoke only to herself in that moment. this was her penalty for the acts she’s committed.

[anachrcnism]

           GUILT is an emotion he’s come to know well. the bucky barnes he had been before hydra carried it like a second skin during the war. the soldier had once felt a spike so immense, he’d caved two technician’s faces in before being restrained. guilt is familiar, as is the half-formed fear she gives over to him now.

                                            “ did you ever have anyone? ”

          ( he’s more man than she suspects, these days, and his question comes out genuinely curious, if not distant. )

[anachrcnism]

                                                                                           @suicidebarbie.

              “ that’s a mighty fine bat y’ got there. hate for you to ruin it on a face like mine. ”

            this is the BUCKY BARNES he has become: trying his level best to right the wrongs he’s wrought and goading a potentially batshit insane woman with a smile and a flash of his left arm. god knows stevie’s out there somewhere KNOWING he’s about to start some trouble. when he gets back from this, bucky might have some explaining to do. 

[anachrcnism]

                       VOSKRESIT IS NOW ANACHRCNISM.

[anachrcnism]

“you think you can, i know you can’t.”

                    BO BURNHAM STARTERS :: ACCEPTING

            bucky barnes is tired. his right fist aches where the skin has split open over muscle and bone, there is a cut on his temple slowly leaking blood in a trickle down his face, and the flesh where scar tissue meets metal is raw to the touch. this means nothing to him. but to claire — to claire, the doctor he went so many years without, this is DANGER. he’s been through danger. he’s seen wars and pain and torture. he’s breathed gun smoke and the iron taint of spilled blood too many times in too many different ways. danger is nothing new. but that crack in his heart at her bloodied hands? the doubt lingering in his mind as he watches her gaze harden and her chin tilt? WELL, THAT SURE AS HELL IS.

                                    “ i know i can’t, claire. but i gotta at least try. ”

            somewhere out there is his sister, scraping by in her shitty apartment in the city. somewhere on the outskirts of hell’s kitchen is a mother struggling under the weight of months worth of medical bills and a fading memory of the past.. somewhere in hospital basements or church meeting rooms or clinic lobbies are men and women fresh from two rounds with a devil that looks a lot like war. bucky doesn’t just fight for himself anymore, he fights for THEM. so, battered and bruised, he has to at least try. 

                                         “ i’m not goin’ without a fight this time. ”

[anachrcnism]

            THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH,          I FEAR NO EVIL, FOR I AM THE EVILEST SON OF A BITCH IN THIS VALLEY.

                                       ---------- JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES.

[anachrcnism]

:: @lethallittlespiderx.

              she is a weapon, blood dried underneath her fingernails and SURVIVAL written in her eyes. he is a weapon, nameless in the face of unquestionable orders and EMPTY where there is loss scratching at the back of a mind that might be his own. she is his to mold into the government’s agent. she is his to train until russian slides into english and knives are hidden under american clothes. 

            WHAT DOES A WEAPON KNOW OF EDUCATION? the answer: everything.

                                                                                “ romanova, get on the mat. ”

[anachrcnism]

         hearing bucky’s words & seeing the pain so clearly in his eyes, steve’s brow furrows & he shakes his head.  “ i didn’t mean YOU, buck.   i   k n o w   that wasn’t you. ”  

         he never meant for bucky to think that he believed it was his fault. steve NEVER blamed him for the wrong-doing of hydra’s winter soldier. they reprogrammed him. they tried to take away his soul. a few times, they succeeded in suppressing everything bucky, but in the end BUCKY came back. if anything, steve admires him even more for surviving.

         “ they held you down & they forced your hand. i was speaking in general. people don’t like to admit when they’ve done wrong. but you take full responsibility, even when it ISN’T your fault. ”  

                                                                                    “ ------ OH. “

            the word is a breath, more gut reaction than conscious thought. of course steve hadn’t meant him. OF COURSE. the kid had always been too good for him; the saint to bucky’s sinner, even back when his sinning was nothing more than dames and dark thoughts. 

            steve rogers: his defender ‘till the very end, then. 

                                                                              “ i’m sorry. i’m so sorry ”

            it’s the first time he thinks he’s apologized to steve in over fifty years and there’s so much weight behind the words. “ i’m sorry i assumed you’d blame me like i blame myself. i’m sorry i almost killed you too many times to count. i’m sorry you had to watch your best friend in the body of a killer. i’m sorry i never found you after the ice melted from my mind. i’m sorry i still don’t quite know how to be the man i was before. I’M SORRY I LET YOU GO. ”