An Act of Caprice

one woman's Chicago-based thought cyclone.

[slavetosound]

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bonnie tyler, ‘it’s a heartache’

[lystring]

It ain’t right with love to share

When you find he doesn’t care for you

It ain’t wise to need someone

As much as I depended on you

[traversus]

Wake up and open your curtains. Your windows too.

Drink some tea or coffee, whatever pleases you. Notice every sip.

Have some fresh fruit and finish breakfast feeling full.

Stand outside and feel the air. Cool or warm, it will make you feel real.

Get some exercise. Yoga to soothe, running to breathe, lifting for strength.

Take care of your body. Have a nice shower and pamper as much as you want afterward. 

If you’re going to work, remember you have the chance to make anyone’s day or to ruin it. Act accordingly. 

Weed out the bad language. It’s only creating tension in your body and mind. Kind words are infinitely more appreciated.

Take some time each day to improve your mind. Keep reading that great book. Listen to an incredible piece of music. Practice an instrument or a skill. The progress is its own reward.

Pictures will help you remember how wonderful life is. But spend less time on your phone and more time seeing the world face to face. 

Go to sleep knowing that you have done well. Tomorrow is there with room to become even better.

-Notes to myself on how to become a better person this summer.

[anactofcaprise]

My therapist told me I need to focus on getting better sleep.

After our session I thought "why am I spending an hour talking about my sleep issues??! This is such a waste of time and I'm so exhausted with everything maybe I should quit therapy."

So, yeah, she's correct and I should listen to her.

[anactofcaprise]

Matt built more vinyl storage for my Carly Rae Jepsen collection.

That wood grain, tho.

[longnuts]

Does anyone know what to do

[princecarlton]

[holespoles]

Haruka Kawakami

かわかみはるか

[anactofcaprise]

Last night Matt asked if I dream about knitting, and yes, yes I do. The other night I dreamt I was unraveling an entire sweater because I made it five sizes too big - an actual nightmare.

Don't worry, this is not a dream analysis post.

Knitting is great for me but also not great because my heart wants to knit the entire world but my hands, adult responsibilities and the concept of time say no.

I have enough projects planned to last me at least two years (probably four) and I do have other hobbies and interests that act as a balm for the bad in this world, not just knitting. It's all about balance, right?

[king-lena]

the wire + text post meme // part three

[anactofcaprise]

In my experience there are two types of product managers:

(first of all, how did this become a career)

Type 1: former or current theatre kid/musician/writer/artist generally who understood that their passions were not going to generate a living wage so they got into tech when the getting was good (peak 2010-2013).

Type 2: people who actually went to school to be a product manager question mark.

[anactofcaprise]

The new team I’m working with is so friendly and smart, it’s a breath of fresh air! I feel much more supported and I think I can actually contribute.

[anactofcaprise]

All I want to do is make art and look at beauty, is that too much to ask?

[anactofcaprise]

Hall & Oates 4ever

[anactofcaprise]

I saw Brokeback Mountain with my gbf at the Chicago Shakespeare Theatre last night and it was wonderful. It was also Pride night so we got free rainbow desserts and a drink ticket.

The acting, set design, music, all perfectly intimate and true. I loved the short story even before the movie, so much so that when I was in college I wanted to be Annie Proulx. Nothing was more important than a western woman writer, maybe I can still be that some day.

[anactofcaprise]

My special project came through this afternoon 😭 It’s a temporary work assignment to help out another team veiled a trial period for both of us to see if it can be a permanent move.

I met with the team manager this morning. It was a great convo and an immediate yes from her, all because the new VP is looking out for me.

I went from being bullied by my manager and feeling totally insecure/checked out to… hope! The first time in three years hope!

Of course I was most worried about my manager’s reaction and the second he found out he asked me to set up a meeting. I’m taking a beat to give him a professional response and meeting invite BUT two middle fingers in your face, dude.

[anactofcaprise]

Hahhaaaaagagaga

Manager is such a liar it’s glorious. I read his message and he said that I was being sent to a work assignment that was his idea. He had been talking to leadership and told me how this happened because of another PM leaving, and and I would be on a very specific project that he used to in charge of and is now passing to me. He also said he had been working with the team manager and he would introduce me.

I’m sorry what??? WHAT??? WHAT.

I will pretend like I didn’t orchestrate this myself play nice and do whatever I have to get away from him.

[anactofcaprise]

My special project came through this afternoon 😭 It’s a temporary work assignment to help out another team veiled as a trial period for both of us to see if it can be a permanent move.

I met with the team manager this morning. It was a great convo and an immediate yes from her, all because the new VP is looking out for me.

I went from being bullied by my manager and feeling totally insecure/checked out to… hope! The first time in three years hope!

Of course I was most worried about my manager’s reaction and the second he found out he asked me to set up a meeting. I’m taking a beat to give him a professional response and meeting invite BUT two middle fingers in your face, dude.

[anactofcaprise]

Oops I bought a barely used sewing machine and I haven’t sewed in 20 years but it’s like riding a bike, right?

[anactofcaprise]

I haven’t talked about work in a while because it’s been objectively bad all around. But! My new VP is coming in on a white horse and there are better days in sight.

She and I have been friends my entire time here (12 yrs lol) and she actually hired me and was my first manager. She’s also looked out for me along the way, she even reached out when she was interviewing for the job to get my insider perspective.

Yesterday was her first official day and she scheduled a check-in, and I was honest about my experience and our group as a whole, specifically pointing out there are zero women in leadership roles and there’s no trajectory for me to move up.

Then today she reached out and asked if I would be interested in a special project, which is code for getting me out and elevated from my current situation. I told her emphatically “Yes! Take me, I’ll do whatever you need!”

If this works I’m going to be in an entirely different situation, and soon.