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@anakinswhiteteeth
au where when darth vader declares that he’s Luke’s father Luke comes to the (entirely reasonable) conclusion that darth vader and anakin skywalker were married
“How could you kill your HUSBAND?!” and Luke gets away with his hand because Anakin’s too confused trying to figure out when he and Obi Wan got married and why he’s only learning about it now
I wonder if Vader ever found out that the droid who carried the Death Star plans was Artoo.
I can just imagine him thinking: “This explains everything. My men didn’t stand a chance.”
The most accurate thing ever
thinking about how many lightsabers anakin has lost and, consequently, how many kyber crystals he’s had to gather. thinking about how when people organize groups of younglings to go on their gathering expedition, every so often anakin will just be there too, towering over the 6 baby jedi in his group and looking embarrassed
This is by far the best piece of Star Wars literature ever made
Since everyone’s going crazy, the title of he book is “Are You Scared, Darth Vader?” By Adam Rex
star wars edit with WW84 trailer music | by voordeel_ts [x]
This filled me with the most feral and unhinged glee.
Expectation: Anakin gets a padawan.
Reality: Obi-wan now has two padawans.
@obiwanobi these tags are FANTASTIC
Obi-Wan: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Ahsoka?
Ahsoka: ...no
Anakin: I do
Obi-Wan: I know Anakin
Anakin: I'm sad
Obi-Wan: I know Anakin
Imagine growing up in the generations after the Clone Wars and the difficulty of finding dating partners who are not also the descendants of Jango Fett.
I’m so glad my star wars shitposting is making you ask the really important questions here, Ship.
Fast forward a few thousands years and Jango Fett ends up being the patrilineal Most Recent Common Ancestor of space humanity.
I posed this question to my coworker an hour ago and when I came back I found him doing clone sex math
listen the funniest thing about this is the fact that he’s doing it on a MINI WHITEBOARD LIKE WE USED IN SCHOOL SOMETIMES
#PERFECT ANAKIN SKYWALKER CHARACTERIZATION
LAST TIME I REBLOGGED THIS THE LAST COMPARISON WASNT ON THERE
This is the best thing I have ever seen
@klubbhead You used a cinnamon roll for Rey and not Leia?
Dam it it got better
S T O P
@klubbhead
Do Darth Maul next!
This is why I love Tumblr. Do Yoda next please or Boba Fett.
Oh god. I can’t even think of something for them lol
Yoda gotta be raisin bread.
ENOUGH
NO
😬
do grand moff tarkin.
The last one got me.
I CAN’T
B R E A T H E
XD
i was mildly amused until the last one, at which point i broke
The post of legend has come again
concept: anakin sitting in the council room bouncing baby luke on his knees as he adamantly denies having children or attachments
And denies the Council permission to induct Luke and Leia Skywalker (no relation) into the crèche.
Leia runs up to him yelling, “Daddy! Look at this picture I drew of you and me and Mommy!”
He praises her artwork and tells her they will put it on the fridge at home, then turns to Mace and says, “I have no idea who this child is.”
all the comments on this post are the best out of any I’ve ever gotten but Anakin looking Mace dead in the eye and saying “I had no idea who this child is” might honestly be the best addition of them all
@loptrcoptr‘s tags made me cry laughing so here:
#he would totally do it #Padme’d go into the twins room after a four hour deliberation on galactic agriculture policy #and find no kids just threepio who’s just like ‘oh! well master anakin took them to the temple-’ #and padme isnt sure if she should storm the place or not. meanwhile anakin is sittin in the council room #bouncing two strange toddlers on his knees just kinda. STARING everyone down with a stupid smile like #who wants to have a go at me while im holding two babies. two babies which are totally not mine #and everytime either of the twins says ‘dada’ he jist fucking looks at Mace and says ‘do you understand this? its not basic.’ #‘ive never seen these kids before in my life master. im looking after them as a favor to a senator. we are supposed to help the senators in their post-war peace talks are we not?’ #'as keepers of the peace? i will do my part #no task is too small to merit the attention of the jedi surely’ #'dada! when we go home wiww uou wead our bedtime stowwy tonight?’ #*anakin looks at mace* 'i still have no idea who these children are’
anakin skywalker does not use jedi mind tricks
not once in the films
do you think that’s a coincidence
not on your life buddy
anakin skywalker does not have it in him to overrule another being’s free will
he murders a bunch of children with a laser sword
[what about you?] me? [are you happy here?]
Fuck all the know-it-all nerds being like, ‘uM aCtUaLlY tHaT iSn’T yOdA’
Like, no shit, we know that. But Yoda’s species isn’t named and I’m gonna call this little bean Baby Yoda until the show gives me something else to call him and you can’t stop me.
