Just some 3 a.m. thoughts while making these artsy pieces.
I watched Will kneeling there and knew, with a sick certainty, that this wasnât really him anymore. His eyes were completely black, bloody tears tracing slow paths down his face. His body was too still, too relaxed, and when he laughed, low and hoarse, it carried a pleasure that didnât belong to the boy I knew.
I was shaking so hard I could barely stand. It felt like the ground was giving way beneath me, like everything I believed in was collapsing right in front of my eyes. I had already lost too many people. I couldnât survive losing him too.
âNo,â I said, my voice breaking. âWill...â
I reached for him before I could stop myself. My fingers twisted into the collar of his T-shirt and dragged it down, just enough to bare his neck. Dark veins spread beneath his skin, pulsing, alive, wrong, as if something else was breathing inside him. My other hand tightened on his shoulder, gripping hard, desperate, as though I could anchor him to me by force alone.
He lifted his head slowly. Those black eyes caught the light, sharp and dangerous, and when he smiled, it wasnât warm or gentle. It was deliberate. Knowing. A smile that said he had all the time in the world. He watched my reaction closely, calm, almost amused, savoring every flicker of fear.
Then he spoke, carefully, like he wanted every word to settle between us.
âHe loves you. Everyone can see it except youâŠâ
I frowned, confused, my grip tightening without meaning to. Of course I loved him too. He was my best friend. He had always been. I didnât understand what he was trying to say, what he thought this proved.
His head tilted slightly, curious, almost thoughtful. The smile stayed.
The words hadnât even finished sinking in when he leaned closer, close enough that I could feel his breath. His voice dropped, quiet and smooth, almost conversational, like he was offering a harmless suggestion he knew Iâd never take.
âDo you want to kiss him?â
âThey say love saves people.â
There was no challenge in his tone. No urgency. Just cruel certainty. He knew I wouldnât. He knew exactly where the line was, and how safely he stood on the other side of it.
And⊠the truth hit harder than his voice ever could. The air left my lungs all at once, like a blow straight to the chest. My grip faltered, my hands trembling, and tears burned in my eyes before I could stop them.
He saw that too. And he smiled wider.
But I didnât look away. Even with my vision blurring, even with my chest aching, I stayed there, staring back at him, because looking away would have meant admitting Iâd already lost Will. And I couldnât do that. Not after losing so many others...
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