[hypersexualsportswear]

“First of all… bitch”

[extremelycursedimages]

[parakeet]

today a regular customer came into my store and told me she’d ‘finished candy crush’ and tbh i didnt think that was possible. i thought it just generated levels forever, but apparently it has 4000 odd levels and it took her 4 years to complete. she even emailed them asking when there would be more levels and they told her she could play their other games or replay the existing levels jklsdkflsdf

[patron-saint-of-smart-asses-dea]

the only true gamer

[imsoshive]

[thebootydiaries]

you (has waffles for breakfast, goes to parties, been to ikea): do u listen to drake

me (eats the bark of the rare almond tree for its classy unique taste, spends friday nights studying gregorian chants, refers to my classmates as “brethren” out of respect): whom?

[luxia-the-unicornv]

That’s not even how you use whom, I’ve got a headache now

[thebootydiaries]

hello my fellow intelligent sapiosexual pupil, whom are you? i don’t recall 

[turing-tested]

there’s nothing purer or better than how much kids enjoy being picked up and then hurled at soft surfaces

[turing-tested]

anyone who’s ever been around kids for ay meaningful amount of time should know exactly how much kids long to be hefted up and then just fuckin tossed! it’s so good! they’re so excited to get fucking tossed around like a sack of potatoes it’s so pure

[itsbetterthananal]

it blows my mind when high school teachers think college professors are super professional when this is a literal email i got from my stat professor an hour ago

[arandomthot]

This would’ve made for a great Vine

[adeponol-deactivated20180916]

@miraculous-howlter

[im-going-too-fast]

this has the same energy as the ‘my names michael with a b and i’ve been scared of insects my entire life’ ‘what wait where’s the b’ ‘tHeReS a bEe?!?!?!’ vine

[memesandlaughs]

[goawfma]

lil matt damon SNAPPED

[willsmithsmackedtheshitoutofme]

He looks exactly like Matt Damon

[te-amo-corazon]

the finger points 😭😭

[theseriouscynic]

Him and this gif have the same energy

[onlyblackgirlintheclass2]

He dragged him for not listening lmao

[emotionalempowerer-blog]

Respect the Queen.

[mangopapi-deactivated20210928]

Fuck yes !

[i-hate-chick-fil-a]

[mangocarta]

so i went to the zoo yesterday and saw the cutest family of otters ever

and then i checked their names

they’re all NAmED aftER fOOD

EXCEPT kEVIN

WHY

WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS

[thetalkingcrocus]

i was curious (and kinda hoped that kevin was like, the manager of the whole foods) so i googled it and: 

[the-memedaddy]

[the-memedaddy]

Me irl

[durbikins]

[djlegz]

[no-chill-at-all]