When You've Never Been Real
Waitress: Order's up! *places an immaculate hamburger on the table*
Customer: Jesus, it doesn't even look real. This is like one of those burgers you only see in commercials.
Waitress: Just wait until you bite into it, Steve.
Customer: *takes a huge bite out of the burger* My god. Sorry for speaking with my mouth full, but this is like heaven.
Customer: Dear lord, this isn't just the best burger I've had, it's some of the best food I've taste in general. Tell Roger that he's a genius.
Waitress: I don't need to tell him twice. He hears it all day
Customer 2: *walks into restaurant* Mornin', Beth! You know what I want!
Waitress: *nods* Of course. Roger, we got another Big House Burger coming up!
Waitress: *stares at her husband from across the dining table with a blank expression* We can't keep doing this.
Chef: *shovels steak into his mouth* Doing what?
Waitress: You know damn well what, feeding people meat from that thing.
Chef: I've already been through this with you, Beth. It's just beef. Damn good beef too. Ain't nothing wrong with it.
Waitress: Then why don't you eat it?
Chef: *looks down at his store bought steak* Chefs don't eat their own food.
Waitress: Sounds like something a bad chef would say.
Chef: *places down his fork and knife* You know I ain't no bad chef.
Waitress: I do, but you're acting like one. Imagine, what if, I don't know, the FDA found out about that thing you have chained up in the barn? What if they found out you're feeding people flesh from it? You think we'll still be in business?
Chef: Good thing the FDA never looks in our barn. *continues eating his steak again*
Little Boy: *stealthily listening in on his parent's conversation from the living room*
Little Boy: *internally* I knew there was something in the barn.
Little Boy: *sneaks into his parents' bedroom and steals a key from his father's coat pocket*
Little Boy: *runs to the barn and unlocks the padlock*
Little Boy: *shines a flashlight into the empty barn*
Little Boy: No cows, horses, nothin'. Dad sold 'em all for a reason, I bet.
Little Boy: *searches through the empty barn, finds nothing, but hears faint sounds coming from beneath him*
Little Boy: *finds a trap door and descends into the barn's cellar, flashlight barely penetrating the darkness*
Little Boy: *follows the sound of the strange groaning*
???: ...aaugh. ...aaugh. *rattles chains*
Little Boy: *flashes light on the thing making the sounds*
Cow Mass: ...aaugh. ...aaugh. *attempts to drag its twisted mass towards the little boy but is stopped by its chain*
Cow Mass: ...aaugh. Who's there? Who's there? Who's there? Who's there? *clacks its teeth*
Little Boy: *slowly backs away and leaves the barn without saying a thing*
Chef: *descends into the basement, butcher's knife ready* Time to slice up my money maker.
Little Boy: Who's there!?
Chef: What!? Will!? Will are you down there, boy!?
Little Boy: Dad! Help me!
Chef: *runs into the cow mass's holding pen* Will!
Little Boy: *chained to the wall naked, tears running down his cheeks* Dad, why am I chained up!? Help!
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