Spread Me on Toast and Munch

Recyclable trash. Live from the Internet.

[ooppo]

"He has a 12 inch cock" well my pussy ain't a fucking magicians hat bitch where is all that supposed to go

[ooppo]

[ariaste]

PLEASE explain the Latin fuck words. for science

Okay so. The Romans think that sex doesn't count as real sex unless Someone Is Getting Penetrated By A Dick Or Dick-Adjacent Object. Very sort of dick-centric system.

So Latin has six words for "to fuck", divided into three pairs: one pair for each of the possible Holes (ass, mouth, pussy). In each pair there is a word for topping and a word for bottoming.

Most people who know a little about Latin fuck verbs know 'pedicare' and 'irrumare' from the first line of Catullus 16 (Pēdīcābō ego vōs et irrumābō), which is a poem about saying "absolutely shut the fuck up and piss all the way off" to fandom antis and purity police who are making repulsive accusations about you personally, based on things they're reading into your work from a bad-faith perspective. Catullus was so real for that and it's incredibly endearing to me that he was dealing with the same thing we are still dealing with. I got a hater in my askbox doing this about The Wisdom of Emperors just the other day, but I took the high road and, unlike Catullus, did not tell them "I will assfuck you and I will facefuck you" So here sort of a chart about the verbs: Topping | Bottoming Mouth: irrumare | fellare Ass: pedicare | cevere Cunt: futuere | crisare

Another fun fact related to the fuck verbs was that the Romans didn't think about sexual orientation in terms of who you're attracted to, they thought about it in terms of "which is your favorite hole and what do you like to do with it." So you'll get graffiti (ancient roman subtweeting) about things like "Marcus is a fututor [cunt-fucker] and a pedico [ass-fucker] but omg girlies I also heard he's a fellator [cock-sucker] 👀👀👀👀" In the modern day we'd just call him bisexual, but in Ancient Rome it is not enough to know if someone is bisexual (they think it's kind of perverted if a man only fucks women, like do you have some kind of freaky pussy fetish???? you've never once even fucked a twink??? dat's gay, bro. gay to not be bi), you also have to know if he's being bisexual in a respectable sort of way

You will notice that pussy-eating is not on this list, because those words do not mean "to fuck", they translate more directly to just "pussy-licking" (cunnilingus), and because the Romans are sexist as all hell and think that's gross and filthy anyway. This is not ONLY because of pussy terror, it's also that the mouth is the most sacred part of the body -- so eating pussy or sucking a dick is actually considered slightly more "shameful" than getting fucked in the ass. (Please note as well that the fuck verbs are gender neutral -- if you're a roman man and your girlfriend owns a strap-on, she can [pedicare] you. but be careful because your sworn enemy in the forum will have a fucking FIELD DAY if he hears about that and will write a Mean Poem about you or subtweet you on a public wall)

The moral of this story is that the Ancient Romans were absolutely *GAGGING* for social media (see Martial's Epigrams, aka My Best Tweets), and the second moral of this story is that if this was a fun post for you, you should look at my kickstarter for alllllll of this kind of nonsense in the form of A Fantasy Novel That's Pretending To Be An Academic Paper With A Fake Bibliography And Foonotes aka The Wisdom of Emperors. And please signal boost this so everyone can know about Latin Fuck Verbs and Roman Subtweeting, we've really learned so much here together

[official-penis-posts]

I’ve decided to be a scholar now

[gothhabiba]

is that a bugle in your trousers or

[byjove]

Pete Hegseth’s forcemasc agenda

[beemovieerotica]

Genuine question. What does it feel to be a famous blog?

people don't even know that tumblr still exists

[infectiouspiss]

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

[infectiouspiss]

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

[infectiouspiss]

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

[cellarspirit]

fuuuck accidentally mixed up dowsing rods and sounding rods and now my pepeneus can detect freshwater springs

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

"omg baby i'm so wet"

i know

[ofcoursethatsathing]

Full Body Sleeping Bag

Full Body Sleeping Bag - Finally, a way to become a human burrito and hibernate through all your social obligations without ever having to change out of your pajamas.

[view on Amazon…]

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[thelovelygods]

[official-penis-posts]

Quick somebody fuck Claude

[brattylikestoeat]

I take everything to heart. So please don’t say it to me, if you don’t mean it.

[evildilf2]

The term “situationship” is KILLING romance!

[evildilf2]

Why take something beautiful and fascinating like an undefined impractical romance and describe it with some vape-esque word like situationship. A spiritually heterosexual word. You’re supposed to write genre defining poetry about this kind of madness, and yet “situationship” is the term we’re choosing to use these days. OKAY.

[starlightxraven]

Nobody needs AI to search the Internet, court says in ruling against Google

Google AI Overview court loss in Germany could spell doom for AI search industry.

[appalachian-werewolf]

"Google AI Overview court loss in Germany could spell doom for AI search industry."

It fucking better.

[mrsjdavis]

Like to charge, reblog to cast?

[akuasucc]

happy pride month to all gay and trans africans especially gay and trans ghanaians in ghana

[tricksters-lollipop]

Check out the full song here!

[ferngineering-deactivated202402]

Angel Maxine: Emergency Fund, organized by Angel Maxine

My name is Angel Maxine. I am Ghana’s first openly transgender musician. I use my platform … Angel Maxine needs your support for Angel Maxi

Angel Maxine has a GoFundMe as it's hard for her to meet her daily needs because no one will employ her. Please help her reach her goal

£1,879/£3,000

[metamatar-deactivated20250401]

The above fundraiser has been closed, Angel Maxine is currently raising funding for a hip replacement surgery.

Help Angel Maxine Get Hip-Replacement Surgery, organized by Angel Maxine

My name is Angel Maxine, Ghana's first openly transgender musician. I use … Angel Maxine needs your support for Help Angel Maxine Get Hip-R

[kotoneshiomiofficial]

13.5k out of 15k raised so far, and the last donation was 11 days ago

[sudaca-swag]

[sudaca-swag]

Visas being denied to players and their families

Forbidding the iranian team coaches from entering the country and forcing them to direct the game from MEXICO through a tv

Players from non european countries being stopped and searched like criminals with dogs

Deporting african referees just because of their nationality

Forbidding interviews from being spoken i'm languages other than English and forbidding journalists and players from speaking their native languages

And all this just in the first week....

[ooppo]

"He has a 12 inch cock" well my pussy ain't a fucking magicians hat bitch where is all that supposed to go

[ooppo]

[angelbabymikaa]

“potentially mature content” yeah that’s my pervert friend i hope it’s mature content that’s what i followed them for