..so it goes. 💞

E S T. 1995

[finishedcoffee]

One day you will find someone who is willing to try. That person will stay.

[andthenitgoeson]

Today is just a random night. Masaya lang ako dahil after all the days and months that passed, we are still together. Being emotionally attached to someone is like riding in a roller coaster, there will be ups and downs, even a ‘yeys’ and ‘sighs’— but still, at the end of the ride, masaya ka kasi kahit may doubt ka before the ride whether kaya mo or you have fear of heights, the ride gives you an unexplainable joy and excitement that only the ride can give. “You’ll be the adventure I will always choose.”

[hoykupal-deactivated20210826]

Nagkahint na ako sa mga mangyayare sa movie na to pero natuwa parin ako sa ending puta ewan parang somehow it hits me hehe ulol

When We First Met //

[andthenitgoeson]

It has been ages..

Napakadaming nangyari. Napakadaming changes.

[cinderyellaa]

“Kaya mo yan, self. Di ka pinalaking weakshit ng parents mo.”

[idiona]

sunset

[andthenitgoeson]

...habang tumatagal, habang mas lumalalim, habang mas nalalapit ako sayo, napapaisip ako; Iniisip ko na tama naman siguro tong daang tinatahak patungo sa'yo; Na tama namang ibigay sa'yo 'tong puso ko, na tama na sumugal ako sa sitwasyong mayroon tayo. Kase kahit pa kaakibat nito ay ang isang libong duda, binibigyan mo ako ng isang bagay na sa tingin ko sigurado, siguradong pinanghahawakan ko; Ang sabi mo kasi mahal mo na ako."

[kornynabata]

Mahal kita pero ang sakit na hindi mo man lang ako ma-appreciate. Mahal kita kahit ang sakit sakit na. Cliché ito pero masakit talaga. Ang problema lang talaga ay kung bakit pilit pa rin kitang minamahal?

[andthenitgoeson]

Parang kunwari hindi masakit, pero deep inside mapapa- "Tangina, pagod na ako" ka.

[andthenitgoeson]

Maybe, I am that girl who loves to be loved but afraid to be in love...

I always end up showing myself to the world that I am a tough and brave and an independent woman but, in fact, I am really not. I showed the world the “tough-girl-who-does-not-need-no-man” …but deep down in me, I know I am longing for that guy who will be at my side every time I pushes everybody out of my life. I am not that girl who you might think that plays love game well; I loses the game sometimes, I fell and cry, but I make sure I stand up taller from where I came from. Maybe, I really do not know who am I. Maybe, I am that girl who loves to be loved but afraid to be in love…

[andthenitgoeson]

Late night thought.

Masaya pa nga ba ako nang ganito lang tayo?

[andthenitgoeson]

Same feels, Louisa Clark. Same feels.

[andthenitgoeson]

Paano?

[andthenitgoeson]

MUNTIK NA SANA

We were friends. Typical tropa na palaging nasa tabi whenever we need each other. Tropa na nagkakasama through good and bad times. When we were in college, madalas ko talaga siyang makasama. I remember how our story started unexpectedly with an endearment, a joke. I never expected that we will go thru more than our friendship, everything seems to be fine way back then. Sweet, gentleman, komedyante, masarap kausap, family oriented at responsable. Kaya naman nagja-jive yung kalokohan namin, so every time I am with him sobrang happy lang. Yung pang boyfriend material talaga. Okay ang lahat, walang humpay na text messages and sweetness everyday. That was 8 months for the record. Ang naging problema? Ako. Naging duwag ako, naiilang ako pag inaasar na kami ng barkada, natakot ako at naging sobrang duwag. Our "story" ended when I distant myself to him, when I stop replying to his sweet text messages and his sweetness at all. Napalitan nalang ng seen yung dating mga sweet replies ko. I did it all without explaining my part to him and I am so sorry for that. Sorry kung iniwan kita sa ere, sorry kung naging duwag ako, I am so sorry if I have taken you for granted pero believe me sobrang naging masaya ako sayo. Natakot lang ako ma-fall. Natakot na mainlove. Natakot na pumasok sa relationship. Natakot masaktan. Fast forward, things goes on and life continued. We graduated. Naging busy sa careers at may mga different goals in life na. And I finally got the chance to realize kung gaano kalaki yung sinayang ko. I should've been there beside you, we should've been together. I am missing the old "us" (kahit wala naman talaga tayo sa salitang "tayo".) Nabibwisit ako whenever you're taking me for granted now. (At least now I know how does it feel.) Wala ng "Hello, kamusta ka naman?". Hinahanap ko pa rin kasi sana yung sparks eh. Sobrang nakakainis. Nakakainis kasi I don't have enough guts to open this up to you kasi sobrang nahihiya ako. Nahihiya akong aminin sa sarili ko na after what I have done to you, here I am feeling sorry for myself and wanting the old "us" back again. Besides, natatakot din ako to be rejected by you. Natatakot sa posibleng mangyari sa friendship natin when I tell you this. Friendship na nga lang meron tayo, maalis pa? We are still in good communication, madalas magkita ng barkada and nag-kakausap pa minsan. He's always here beside me whenever I need him, he always got my back as my one TRUE FRIEND. Kaya damang-dama ko ang lahat ng panghihinayang. Tila ba sinampal sa'kin ng tadhana yung katangahan ko dati. Sobrang hirap to act like I feel nothing whenever you are around pero deep inside napapa "Puta, sayang talaga" ako. I guess I have to move on now kasi you're happy with your life na eh. I need to stop daydreaming. I need to accept the fact that life is not forever a déjavu; that some things in life are meant to happen only once and there are no chances of turning it back. Period. -Anonymous-

[andthenitgoeson]

Utak > Puso

Gustong gusto kong binabasa ng paulit-ulit yung mahahalimuyak mong sinasambit, para kasing napaka tamis ng lahat, parang gusto kong maniwala, parang gusto kong mahulog. Pero kailangan kong pigilan, kailangan kong mag-menor, kailangan kong mag hinay-hinay, kailangan kong mag nilay-nilay hindi dahil ayaw ko kung ‘di dahil alam ko na sa kabila ng iyong matamis labi, nagtatago yung malabong “tayo”. Hindi ako pinanganak ngayon upang magpalamon sa pag-ibig. Hindi ako nabuhay upang sa iyo'y umasa. Oo, hindi masama ang umibig- pero hindi ako susugal sa taong una palang alam kong ako'y dehado na. …utak over puso. Utak over puso. Utak over puso. Utak. Utak. Utak.

[andthenitgoeson]

Love is a choice.

[andthenitgoeson]

I wanted to stop but I do not want to be left alone. I wanted to give you but I do not want you to leave me.

Nasasaktan na kasi ako pag nakikita ko kayong masayang magkasama. Ibibigay na kita sa kanya. EDI KAYO NA MAY SPARK.