🚀 angel may 🍒

Don't try to have it all/ Day Dreamer☼ Night Thinker ☾☆/ 👽 🌲👽 🌲👽 🌲 Follow me on Facebook! Facebook

[csa-survivor-confessions]

(?) hello, i am a csa/cocsa survivor and i wanted to know: is it normal to have an obsession with angels/divinity/purity after these things happen to you? i feel like if i was an angel everything would be okay because i could be pure holy and free again. is that weird? also is there a term for that? im not even religious or believe in god i just have a strong connection with angels and purity.

Hey,

That’s not weird or wrong. 

A lot of survivors become fixated with purity, innocence and cleanliness. Constantly wanting to escape and feel free is super common with abuse survivors, as well as many people in distress. Angels are also something I see pretty commonly along with other religious imagery.

I don’t think there is a particular word for having a connection to angels in relation to trauma, sorry.

hope that helps,

-Admin 1

[sleepytrauma]

I’m so uncomfortable. I spoke too soon. It’s happening again and I just need it to stop. This is wrong I don’t want this. You told me you wouldn’t but you did. I’m too easy. I’m too easy I’m too easy I’m too

[ptsdbajoranwarrior]

Sorry to anyone who has to walk right into a room or situation where they are extremely triggered and no one notices the change in your voice or your posture or comfort level or doesn’t know to ask if you’re okay. I know what that’s like and It’s really not fun.

[dollscribbles]

[tenshinopantsu]

[dissohciate]

[dollscribbles]

[violetpxl]

Why did you do this to me?

[sdkjgneoritpj3werf-0j5i43re]

the hands that fed me

were the ones that hurt me

so now i bite the hands

of those who want to help me

[womanism]

“no one wants to love someone with childhood trauma.” ok fuck you.

[dissohciate]

beautiful, amy reed

[phantombussy]

If you think, “it could have been worse,” please remember that you didn’t deserve to be hurt at all. You didn’t deserve to be abused, even if it “could have been worse.”

[recovering-alcoholic]

The Alcoholic Brain

My thoughts of alcohol are very selective. I still put it on a pedestal. Daydreaming about the warmth in my stomach from those first few sips. The fuzziness in my head so I don’t have to CARE so much about things. The layers of shyness being stripped away and replaced with a new skin of confidence.

What I should be remembering is the pain. The spinning and the slurring and the throwing up. The anger and the screaming and the crying. The disorientation, the broken bones, the mental blackouts. 

What I should be remembering is waking up at 5am with my heart beating out of my chest and my anxiety so high I start to believe I’m dying.

I need to remember the shame. The endless apologies for words I don’t remember saying. The way my loved ones looked at me as they realized I’d let them down again. The multiple dangerous situations I put myself in that could so easily have ended up much, much worse.

I need to remember because my brain still tries to tell me I can have one drink. “Just have one! You’ll feel good, and then you can stop.” When everything in my history proves otherwise, that small part of my brain is always whispering “this time will be different…”

[excitementshewrote]

[you-look-good-sober]

Addiction begins with the hope that something “out there” can instantly fill up the emptiness inside.

Jean Kilbourne (via aa-nonymous)

[sobersuggestions-deactivated202]

if you even just THINK that you may possibly have a drinking problem, please consider these things:

it’s easiest to stop it in the very earliest of phases

even if you only question it for a split second, please take that thought seriously

it’s very easy to brush it off by thinking things like “everyone my age drinks a lot”

binge drinking is NOT normal

blacking out is NOT normal

drinking alone is NOT normal

if you notice that you usually drink when you’re stressed, anxious, depressed, or etc., as a way to feel better, that is also not normal

drinking can seem normal and fun for a while, but alcoholism is an easy trap to fall into, and so unbelievably hard to get out of

if you feel like you NEED a drink as opposed to just WANTING one, you may have a problem

if being sober feels like some sort of inconvenience or if it makes you feel uncomfortable, you may have a problem

even if you only fit into 1 or less of the technical standards of being an alcoholic, that doesn’t mean you can’t eventually become an alcoholic

please be considerate of yourself. i never thought alcoholism would happen to me, but it did. there are a lot of early warning signs that most people don’t really consider. i know there’s more, but these are the ones i was able to think of right now. if you think of more, please feel free to add on.

[tryingsobriety]