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@angel-is-cooked
happy pride month
real shit bro.
tw: abuse
i just wanna be normal. i wanna go to school. i wanna have friends. but no, instead im stuck here in a toxic place where everyone is extremely religious and im homeschooled and not allowed to even have friends all bc my dad decided me coming to egypt is suddenly the best idea ever.
my dad is so selfish and manipulative. he believes that me having no friends and not going out or going to school is the "best" life ever all bc i eat good food. life isnt even good at home considering how much my parents fight and my dad brings things.
i wish emotional abuse ended you in jail bc my dad shuld really go to jail and chill with other abusers. oh well not in egypt tho, psychical abuse isnt even illegal here, i guess..?
my dad fought with my mom over the dumbest topic ever which is that she made lunch a little bit late bc she was cooking chickpeas and suddenly this is a disaster, he threw a dish with my bread in it all cuz of that and he wont even fucking admit it. and he called me ungrateful bc i said he is ruining my life when he actually is.
hes psychically abused me and my mom a lot before. to the point that my mom hurt for a couple of years bc he hit her on her stomach before and i have pictures of the bruise he caused me. however, i live in fuckass egypt where even if i show them proof of the abuse, they wont give a shit single.
drama THERES FUCKING DRAMA on that site that used to be my comfort site and now everyones unadding me
the past does not define me and i did bad things but i am changing. i hate my life
everyones talking about me and i dont like that.
my ex is calling me a selfish narcissist loser because i wanted him to take the blog off when he was struggling with something. and that makes me a very bad person right?
but the drama affects my mental health AND him going through something is none of his concern because he already ruined my mental health and doesnt care
now thats called selfish but i wouldnt give a single fuck if he died, in fact maybe id be happy no more drama is about me.
idk im just sick of all the fucking drama and i wish to leave that site but i have nowhere else and also i have made some really good friends there.
i hate having a hard irl life with no friends at all :(
i really really wish people were kinder even if they do not like somebody because you dont know how somebody is doing mentally and somebody could be struggling real bad
my personality is fucking disgusting. everyone hates me for being me, for my personality. i thought people hated me bc of what i did but i guess im just hateable. im annoying and everyone (me included) hates the way that i type, the way i pose in photos, the way i behave, how clingy i am and everything else.
idk how i even imagined to pull that many ppl in my life (my exes) no wonder we broke up lol and like im sure if people knew me irl id have no friends. i have to put up a fake personality for people to tolerate me cuz in the end im fucking disgusting.
my real personality is actually shitty. im just a manipulative clingy/obsessive type of person who will never leave you alone and will yap abt shit all the time and even vent when i get used to people, so im better off with strangers because i put up this fake persona, my real personality is absolutely horrible
now almost everyone makes fun of my typing quirk. like whats wrong with using 2 instead of to, 4 instead of for, abt instead of about, evry1 instead of everyone, h8 instead of hate, wldve instead of wouldve, etc. i think its a cool way of self expression and that im FINALLY comfortable with a typing style but everyone makes fun of it. sorry that you cant read it. it makes me feel bad that even my old friends who were my favorites dont like the way i type. maybe i should really change for the sake of other people liking me.
im fucking sick and tired of life. i did some really bad things that i dont even wanna talk abt like a week ago and someone exposed me and now all my friends on that site (which used to be my comfort site) are unadding me which makes me feel even more horrible and guilty for what i did :( especially since those people were really important to me and they were people who supported me during my hard times now i have absolutely no support if everyone on their unfriends me. my irl life is absolutely shit too considering im not even allowed to go out or have friends so. i really have no one lol