Every fic is good if you're desperate enough

Multifandom. Mostly fics, headcanons only requested. I take requests and commissions. Main account: carolinecrazyangel AO3: Gwiazdka_Angel

[angel-tries-to-write]

Tangled up

Fandom: K-pop Demon Hunters Rating: Mature Pairing: Jinu x Rumi Word count: 2428 Genre: hurt&comfort TW: sa attempt, sa mentioned

When Rumi got herself in a dangerous situation, there was only one way out.

Recently Rumi developed a sort of habit. She would wake up early and sneak out for a morning run. The city was calm and quiet in the morning, long before everyone wakes up for work. If she was early enough, she could even see the sun rise. It wasn't happening every day, if there was someone in her bed, she wouldn't go. Derpy would never let her leave, Sussie would judge her endlessly and Jinu would just panic and say it's dangerous. Rumi never believed it, she was a great fighter, professionally trained and always armed. If she could deal with demons, she wasn't scared of humans. Besides, running at early hours always helped her with the creative process, as it cleared her mind and gave her inspiration. Not to mention that living around this many people could be exhausting and sometimes she just needed space.

That day was no different. She woke up when it was still dark outside, since she was alone in her room, she got out of bed and dressed up, then she quietly left their penthouse. Mira and Zoey always would wake up later, so no one stopped her. Once outside, the huntress inhaled the fresh, morning air, and began her usual jog. The music was playing in her earbuds and she quickly lost herself in the feeling. The only way to track the time was the sunlight, appearing at the horizon. She wasn’t thinking about anything, there was only her, the music and the firm ground beneath her feet.

The ground that quickly came to meet her, when someone yanked her violently from the behind.

Rumi fell on her back, looking around very confused. She took out her earbuds when she noticed that a group of men, dressed mostly in dark colors, surrounded her with not friendly smirks.

“Hello, beautiful” one of them crouched uncomfortably close. “What such beauty is doing here all alone?” he asked, grabbing her chin. She moved away with disgust.

“I was running, minding my business, until you attacked me” she answered, trying to stand up. They didn’t give her that chance, another thug stepped on her braid, forcing her to stand down.

“Where are you going, we haven’t finished talking” he said, looking at her hungrily. Rumi shivered at the thought of what they could do to her.

“Let me go!” she demanded, trying to break free. Stupid hair, she knew it wasn’t very practical, but at this point the braid became her signature look. She had it her whole life and she wasn’t sure if she could ever change it.

“Why, the day has just started. We have a lot of time to spend together. And if you entertain us well, maybe we’ll consider rewarding you” another thug said and the rest of them laughed. She had to think fast if she wanted to get out.

“You don’t know who you’re messing with. Trust me, if you push me, you won’t walk away unharmed” she growled. The gang laughed even louder, clearly not believing she was capable of doing anything. Well, she warned them.

Rumi suddenly pushed her legs off the ground and aimed the kick at the gangster holding her braid. He lost his balance, allowing her to roll over and stand up. Now she could fight. Her practiced punches and kicks were much more effective on demons than on humans, but still were working. Until one thug sneaked around and pulled her braid, making her fall once again.

“Nice try” he taunted, breathing heavily. Then he tied her braid to the nearby fence rod, pinning her to the ground. Not good. “Now it’s our time to have fun.”

“You wish” she retorted, trying to untie her hair, but it wouldn’t budge. Well, there was only one way out. With that thought, she summoned her sword. The thugs backed out for a moment, but quickly approached again, intending to disarm her. But Rumi was faster, with one, swift move, she cut her braid. The tangled up hair was left sadly hanging, it was truly heartbreaking, but at least she was free. Not wasting a second, she jumped over the fence and started running as fast as she could. She ran like a girl. Only after she reached home, she could stop and breathe. The thugs were long gone, no one even tried to chase her. She pulled the hood on her head and stepped inside the elevator, not even looking at the mirror. With shaking hands, she pulled out her phone. It was a few minutes past five. She pondered for a moment, before she put it back in her pocket.

Once back at home, she headed straight into her room, then bathroom. She quickly undressed and headed to shower, where she spent a great amount of time, trying to wash off the memories of her morning encounter. After stepping out, she went to her closet, where she finally looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were big and haunted, her palms scratched, her knuckles bruised. But the worst was her hair. Once long, reaching the ground, now it stretched barely to her waist. The ends were uneven, clearly chopped in panic, which was exactly what happened. Whether she wanted it or not, there was no way to hide it. Still shaking, she took her phone and dialed Bobby’s number.

“Hi Bobby” she greeted him when he picked up. She tried to sound lightly, but he knew her too well to not notice.

“Rumi? What happened?” he asked, still half conscious from his sleep, but aware of her strange tone.

“I’m sorry I’m calling this early. I need an emergency hair stylist appointment, like, right now” she said, trying not to cry. “I don’t want to talk about it and I’m sorry I woke you up. But something happened and I need help, can you arrange something for me?” she asked, biting her lip to stop it from quivering.

“Of course. I’ll arrange something” Bobby answered, still concerned.

“Thank you. And again, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay. I only hope you are alright.”

“I’ll be fine” she reassured him. “Thank you again” she said before hanging up.

An hour later she was sitting on the chair, as the hair stylist lamented over her hair.

“How could this even happen?” they asked, looking at the uneven ends.

“I’d like to know that too” Bobby said, looking carefully at his popstar. Despite Rumi’s promises she didn’t need any company, he still showed up.

“I was attacked” the huntress admitted and sighed. “I went for a morning run, nothing unusual. A group of thugs surrounded me, they didn’t have good intentions. One of them tied my hair to keep me grounded, so I can’t fight them. So I did the only thing I could: I took my sword and cut my hair, so I could run” she explained, blinking away the tears.

“What do you mean ‘attacked’?” Bobby asked, shocked.

“It’s okay, nothing happened. I escaped only with a few scratches.”

“And most of your hair missing.”

“It will grow back eventually. Or not. I don’t care” she shrugged. “You can even chop it off” she told the stylist.

“I might have an idea. It will be risky, but it might make you feel better” they said, visibly thinking.

“Just do your job.”

Half an hour later, her new hairstyle was ready. Bobby tried to talk to her the whole time, but she just kept repeating she was fine and she didn’t need to talk. When the stylist was done, her hair was in a short bob, barely reaching her shoulders. With side part and slight waves, her hair looked fresh, a little chaotic, but still cute. She even smiled slightly at her reflection.

“What do you think?” she asked, turning to Bobby.

“It’s a drastic change, everyone will be shocked” he answered honestly. “But it does look good.”

“Thank you. Both of you” she said, stood up and left without another word. The stylist and Bobby looked at each other with concern.

Rumi knew it wouldn’t be easy to explain what happened. She also couldn’t avoid Mira and Zoey forever. Unfortunately, the moment for confrontation came rather sooner than later, because when she came back home, both of her friends were eating breakfast.

“Rumi, hi, where were— OH MY GOSH!” Zoey screamed when she saw their friend. Mira just froze, completely shocked.

“I know, it's a lot to take in” Rumi smiled sadly and sat by the kitchen island.

“What happened?” Zoey asked, sitting next to her. Rumi sighed and nervously tucked her hair behind her ear.

“I went for a morning run. I've been doing this for a while and never had any issues. Looks like there's a first time for everything” she chuckled cynically. “I was attacked.”

“Demons?” this time Mira asked, coming closer. Rumi shook her head.

“Humans. A gang. They didn't like when I tried to run, so they tied me to a fence with my hair. I didn't have time to untangle it, so I did the only thing I could: I summoned my sword and cut the braid. Only after I came home, showered and breathed a little, I called Bobby and asked him for an emergency hair stylist appointment. That's the story.”

Mira and Zoey exchanged shocked looks. They couldn't even find the right words for what happened.

“But you're okay?” Zoey asked carefully. “They didn't do anything to you?”

“No, no, I'm fine” she reassured them. “I escaped without any harm, maybe a few scratches. I'm fine, I promise” Rumi answered and it seemed convincing. They didn't push further and continued their breakfast, until they heard the front door being opened and closed.

“Rumi?” Jinu called, looking around.

“Over here” Mira answered, before Rumi could say anything. “I texted him” she answered the silent question.

“Why?”

“Because you keep lying to us and to yourself. You act like nothing happened, while we all know pretty well that it did affect you. So I called for the only person you can't lie to. I've accepted you can't open up to us, but only as long as you open up to him.”

“You could've warned me” Jinu said, appearing in the kitchen. He looked at his girlfriend with shock.

“I hope you don't hate it” Rumi stood up, nervously brushing her hair with her fingers.

“I'm more concerned about your feelings than your appearance” he answered and approached her, still shocked. “Are you okay? But like, truly okay?”

“What do you want me to say? That I should've been more aware? That I feel like I could've done something else? That I could've fought harder? That I trained hard and I fought so many battles, yet I felt utterly helpless in front of some men?” Rumi asked, with every sentence her voice trembled more. In Jinu's presence her facade crumbled in seconds. Mira was right, she could lie to them, she could lie to herself, but she couldn't lie to him.

“Come here” he said gently and pulled her in a hug. “Listen to me, Rumi. It wasn't your fault. Whatever happened, was their fault, not yours. Did they hurt you?”

“No. They didn't even have the chance to touch me. But the sole thought of what could've happened...” she trailed off and shivered.

“Shh, I know. Don't think about it” he kissed the top of her head and gently entangled his fingers in her short hair. She didn't need long, after a few minutes she was crying into his chest, telling him everything that happened.

“Do you think everyone will hate me? We have a concert scheduled in a few days and I changed my appearance drastically” she finished, looking up. Jinu wiped her tears, thinking about an answer.

“Rumi, you did what you had to survive” Zoey spoke instead, still concerned about her friend. “What did Bobby say?”

“Well, he was mostly relieved I'm fine. He tried to talk to me through the whole appointment, but I kept telling him I'm okay.”

“Are you?”

“I guess...”

“Rumi...” Jinu called her name softly. Her breath hitched at the tone of his voice.

“I'm better now, but I'm still scared” she admitted finally. “And ashamed. At first I was shocked, but the more I think about it, the worse I feel.”

“It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have predicted that they decide to show up and try to hurt you. Do you remember what you told me when I shared my story with you?” he asked, brushing back her hair.

“It wasn't your fault. Those who decided to hurt you were responsible for what happened. Not you.”

“Exactly. Power imbalance can have many forms, sometimes it's about status, sometimes it's about physical strength and sometimes you're simply outnumbered. It can happen to anyone, no matter how good you think you can defend yourself.”

“You can't compare our situation.”

“Yes, I can. Just because these thugs didn't succeed, doesn't mean they didn't try.”

“But you were...” she tried to protest, but he didn't let her finish.

“Assaulted, just like you” he said firmly. Mira and Zoey exchanged concerned glances. “I'll appreciate if you don't tell the guys” Jinu said, looking at them. “Until now, Rumi was the only person who knew and I'd like to keep it that way.”

“My ex once set a trap for me. If I decided to go to a party with him, I would be assaulted too” Zoey confessed. “His friend told me later what he planned, it was supposed to be a punishment for breaking up. Sometimes I think about it when I can't sleep. Mystery doesn't know and I don't want him to know. Now I know your secret and you know mine.”

“And I just don't talk about other people” Mira shrugged.

“Thanks.”

“I think I'll go to bed. I need some rest after what happened” Rumi spoke quietly, stepping back from her boyfriend's embrace. “I'll let you know if I need anything” she said, before anyone could say anything and headed straight to her room. She sat on the bed and pulled out her phone. Her fingers hovered over the screen for a moment, before she pressed the button and dialed the number.

“Rumi?” she heard a familiar voice and nearly cried again.

“Hi, Celine” she greeted the woman, her throat suddenly tightened. “I know we're not exactly on the best terms recently, but you're the closest person to mom that I have. And I could really use a mom right now.”

[angel-tries-to-write]

What if I'm the monster

Fandom: Tomb Raider Rating: Teen and up Pairing: Lara Croft x Alex Weiss Word count: 5508 Genre: hurt&comfort, fix fic, fluff

What if Roth and Alex didn't die on Yamatai and Lara had a chance to be a little happier than she was in the games? Welcome to my AU, let me be your guide.

A/N: I'm sorry if my English isn't English enough. I play the games in dubbed version, so I don't quite know how British Lara is. I'm sorry if they aren't British enough, I absolutely can't do better.

Conrad Roth was ready to die. After all, he promised Richard he will protect his daughter at all cost, even the highest one. The situation was dire, he could either sacrifice himself and save her for now, or get rid of the cultists and maximize their chances of survival. In a split second, he made a choice. He dropped down, careful of half-conscious Lara, avoiding the axe in the last moment. Then he rose again, with guns in both hands, deadly and furious.

It took a lot of his ammo to take down all of the enemies, but finally the forest was silent again. Not long after, Lara regained consciousness.

“Are you okay?” Roth asked, kneeling next to her. The young woman groaned and sat up.

“I've been better” she answered, carefully checking her movements. “Are we safe for now?”

“For now, yes. We can rest a bit until the others join us” he said and sat up heavily.

“How is your leg?”

“Manageable. It should last until we get out of this bloody island.”

“We won't leave. Not until we deal with whatever happens with the weather. Mathias believes it's connected to Sun Queen and as much as he's insane, this one might not be too far off. Look, I've been collecting documents from various times and almost all of them mention Sun Queen or her Stormguard” she pulled out her notebook, where she documented her findings. “It might sound crazy, but there's something that doesn't allow anyone to leave this island. These storms out of nowhere, these catastrophes, I need to find answers.”

“You did a pretty good job” Roth praised her, flipping through the notebook. Suddenly one note caught his attention. He wiped his face and sighed heavily. “I see you also found more than just clues about this mystery” he said, closing the notebook.

“Yeah... I found some letters our crew has written” she admitted. “I'm sorry, I didn't know what it was until I read it” she said, correctly guessing he meant Reyes' letter she found in the camp.

“It's fine. At least I don't have to tell you now.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. There's not much to talk about. I'm just thinking if it's not too late now, I've been missing from her life for so long, I have very little chance of forming a good relationship, you know?”

“Look, no matter what happens, you can try. I doubt she will make things difficult for you. If you want to have a family, it's worth taking a shot. And I can assure you that you would be an amazing dad. First hand experience” she smiled, leaning her head on his shoulder.

Roth didn't answer to that. They just sat in silence, resting after the recent events, until the remaining crew found them.

_________________

Alex was not ready to die, yet the circumstances indicated it was going to happen anyway. He only wanted to retrieve Reyes' tools so they could leave this damned island, how could he expect this many problems? Right now he was stuck on the sinking part of ship with his leg broken, in the best case. He did manage to locate the tools, so at least he would die with them in hand. He tried to think, to figure something out, until he saw the solution. Well, to be fair, the perfect way out found him. He almost got happy, almost had hope, until it all got crushed again, along with his leg. If it wasn't enough, they were being attacked.

“It's pointless, leave it” he said through gritted teeth, breathing heavily. “I'm not getting out.”

“Yes, you are. I didn't come here all this way just to leave you” Lara protested, trying to think fast.

“Listen, I won't even be able to get out of here, let alone come back to the beach. I'll be useless, it's better if I stay and deal with them. Look, how often does a guy like me gets a chance to be a hero? The others are counting on us, you need to go now!” he yelled, trying to seem like it was his choice.

“No, you listen!” she snapped at him suddenly. “I can handle these jerks, I can lift this rubble and set you free, then we leave this ship and come back to the beach together! It's going to hurt like hell, not gonna lie, but there's no way I'm giving up on you and leaving you here!” she shouted, shooting enemy after enemy. “Now cover me and try not to faint, we have about a minute before the new ones come” she dropped to her knee when all of their opponents were taken down. She put all her might into moving the heavy metal, Alex screamed in pain when the pressure was lifted, but he maintained focus for long enough to move his leg out of the rubble. Unfortunately he didn't manage to shoot, he could only warn Lara about the new cultists.

When he came to his senses, his leg was somewhat stabilized and he was being dragged through the corridor. The pain was unbearable, but it was a matter of life and death, he either starts to fight and survive, or lies down and die.

“I'm not sure I can do that” he protested, earning a growl from angry Lara.

“Don't waste your strength on talking nonsense!”

So he gritted his teeth and focused on walking as fast as he could, while trying to shoot the enemies. Everything worked until they encountered an obstacle they couldn't pass: the ship was broken in two and they had to jump to the safer part. This time he kept his mouth shut and waited for Lara to figure it out. And she did, she tied rope to one part, then she jumped and secured it on the other side. All he had to do was to climb to safety, which was insanely difficult. But if for some reason Lara refused to let him die, he couldn't disappoint her, even though he was sure the rope will snap. Luckily for him, the moment it did, Lara was there to catch him and pull him up.

“Take a little break, I'll clear the way” she said, breathing heavily. “I know it's painful, trust me, you're not the only one” she reassured him, pointing at an ugly wound where a metal rod pierced her side. “You should get used to the pain, it'll be easier then. I'm taking you to the beach even if I'll have to carry you on my back the whole time” she threatened and disappeared, not even giving him a chance to reply.

But that was a promise and he had to admit, she knew how to keep her promises.

_____________________

After what seemed like a few days later Lara woke up in a hospital, utterly exhausted and confused. But when she did, Alex was there, sitting by her bed. He looked quite well and his minor injuries weren't that visible, with the exception of a fresh bruise on his cheek she didn't remember him having.

“Welcome back” he smiled, taking her hand.

“What happened to your face?” she whispered, for some reason she couldn't get her voice to work.

“Well... you did” he admitted sheepishly.

“What?” she asked, her voice really wasn't working and the question was followed by a coughing fit. Her throat was drier than a desert, no wonder she couldn't speak. Alex offered her a cup of water, watching her carefully.

“You don't remember?”

“The last thing I remember is being admitted to the hospital when we were rescued” she said weakly, the water helped and her voice came back, even though it was still weak.

“Oh, okay, so let's start from the very beginning. You were out as soon as the doctors confirmed we're safe. Like someone turned a switch off, you fell asleep in seconds, but that kinda happened to all of us. I slept for three days, Roth for a week, but you... you were out for three weeks.”

“Three weeks?” she widened her eyes in shock.

“At first they just thought you were exhausted. We all pushed our limits, but yours was off the scale, you did things you weren't supposed to do, like, human body is not designed to stuff like those. Then the worst part came. That wound in your side was infected, you had a fever so high it almost cooked your brain. They stabilized you, managed to get the infection under control, but you slipped in a coma and there was no guarantee you will wake up ever again. We were all so scared for you. After the antibiotics finally worked and your condition wasn't critical anymore, we were transported back to UK. So we're in London now.”

“How are the others?” she asked, trying to move her arms and legs. They felt heavy, but seemed to function.

“Good. I have about three more weeks left in a cast, thankfully my leg was just broken. Jonah and Sam didn't have more than scratches, Reyes' bullet wound wasn't serious, even Roth recovered pretty quickly. You were in the worst shape, which was a shock to all of us. On the way back you seemed pretty good, you only collapsed at the hospital, when we all were safe and you could rest. All that stress and adrenaline, that kept you running and let you push past your limits, were gone and it looked like a marionette with a cut strings. So you were in a coma until yesterday when you woke up screaming and fighting, still unresponsive, though seemingly awake. It got violent so they had to sedate you and you were out for another day. That's the story” he concluded. “Luckily you only punched me, not the medical staff.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. The doctor said it was most likely a psychotic episode as a result of trauma you experienced. You weren't in control, even I could tell that. You only came back now and I should probably call someone so they can examine you. I'll be right back” he squeezed her hand and stood up carefully. Only then she noticed the crutches standing close, he used them as a support to walk. Back on the island they didn't have such luxuries, he really was lucky the leg was just broken, she thought. She sighed and looked at the ceiling, trying to process all she heard.

“Good afternoon, Miss Croft” the doctor greeted her. “It's good to see you awake.”

“Good afternoon” she replied quietly.

“How are you feeling?” he asked and started to examine her.

“Like I woke up from a little too long nap, which according to what I've been told, seems accurate. But aside from that, I feel pretty well, I'm not in pain, I can feel my body, I seem to have full mobility and my voice is getting better” she answered truthfully. Aside from the feeling of exhaustion, she was quite okay.

“From what I've read in your medical reports, the doctors in Japan literally brought you back from the death door. But you seem to recover quite well. What is your last memory?”

“Being admitted to the hospital three weeks ago. I was told I briefly woke up yesterday, but I have no memory of this event.”

“That seems right, I wasn't here yesterday, but I've heard it was quite violent, your friend over there took a punch in the face to help the staff get you restrained and sedated. Well, looks like you are perfectly healthy, we will keep you for another day or two, just to run some tests and be sure you're in good health. For now you should rest.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

He left and Lara closed her eyes. She had a strange feeling than a lot more had happened during these three weeks, but Alex wasn't eager to share the details. That alarmed her, she didn't like secrets and when things were kept from her.

“I called Roth and Jonah, they'll be here as soon as possible” Alex announced, walking through the door and taking his seat by her bed. “Reyes too, she said she's coming even if you don't want her to.”

“They're officially together? Roth and Reyes?” Lara asked, noticing he didn't mention calling Reyes, yet he spoke with her. She also stated this way she knows more than Alex expected.

“You know?”

“I learned that on Yamatai. I told Roth that if he wants to stay with them, he'll be as good father to Alisha, as he was to me. He was a little unsure of what to do when Reyes told him the truth.”

“I should expect by now that nothing misses your attention” he smiled, clearly impressed. “Reyes had Alisha flown to England two weeks ago and they're thinking of staying here for good. I've heard they're quite happy.”

“Will you now address the elephant in the room, or do I have to ask about it?” she asked, changing the subject.

“Which elephant? Because I can think of a few...” he trailed off, not sure what she's referring to. She sighed heavily. “No, like, my elephant or someone's else's...?”

“Sam.”

“Oh, this elephant. Right.”

“We'll go back to your elephant though, but that's a conversation I don't have strength for now. So? Tell me what you're not telling me.”

“Fine. It's not like I'm keeping it from you, I just don't know how to say it in the least painful way.”

“What do you mean? You said she just had some scratches” she lifted herself from the bed, already alarmed.

“Oh, no, no, no, I didn't mean it like that. Sam is fine, she's not in any danger. Physically she was perfect, when I last saw her” he reassured her. “To put it simply, Sam has left, probably went back to the States, but she asked us not to contact her. She said after all that happened, when she looks at us, she can only relive these horrible events. I don't blame her, I have nightmares myself and I wasn't the one almost sacrificed in a ritual. It's just... a bit harsh from her and unfair for you after everything you've done to keep her alive” he explained. Lara fell back on the pillow, clearly affected by this revelation.

“She was my best friend and I took her to hell. It's all my fault.”

“Hey, no, don't even start” he protested firmly and grabbed her chin so she would look at him. “When we signed up for this expedition, we could never expect something like that. None of us could predict we would find an ancient queen who controls the weather and we would get stuck with her cultists. It wasn't your fault, Lara. We expected danger, just not this much, but you're not the one to blame. If anyone, it's Himiko's fault she didn't let anyone leave. Not yours, you hear me? You did everything you could to ensure we come back, we made a huge discovery and now Yamatai is open for studying, although I believe you took from the island all the knowledge it had to give. But we're alive because of you and this is something you can never forget.”

“If I didn't insist we have to find this island, none of it would happen. It's obviously my fault.”

“No. Don't think like that, Lara. I know you deal with survivor guilt right now, especially towards Grim, but none of it was your fault. There was no way you could predict it happen. Come here” he sat on the bed and helped her up, so she would sit in his embrace. “You can cry or scream if you want to, let it all out, but don't you dare saying ever again, that you were the one responsible for what happened.”

She didn't fight for long, as soon as he finished talking, her tears fell. She broke down completely, weeping into his chest, relieving everything she kept suppressed since the expedition. For a moment she didn't have to be strong, she could fall apart and he would be there to pick up the pieces. His presence felt safe, something she couldn't tell about many people she's met. He waited patiently for her to calm down, not rushing her.

“Feeling better?” he asked softly, when her sobs finally stopped. He passed her a tissue.

“Thank you. I wasn't able to do that for a long time” she admitted.

“I know you didn't want to talk about it for now, but this is what I understood when you were in a coma. You don't need a hero to save you, because you are the hero and you don't need anyone to impress you. What you need is an anchor. Someone to keep you grounded when you start to lose yourself. Someone to pick you up when you fall. You don't need a knight in shining armor, you need a strong support. Someone to catch you when pushing forward becomes too much, someone to lift the burdens off your shoulders and let you feel free for a moment.”

“On the island... I found your note in a camp before I reached Endurance. I know” she said quietly, embracing him tighter. “I'm not ready to say anything out loud yet or make any declarations, but I can agree with that. I don't need a hero, I need an anchor.”

“I won't push you, just remember I'm here. All for you to take, like a buffet” he couldn't help but joke.

“Is that a pathetic attempt to cheer me up?” she chuckled.

“It might be pathetic, but it works” he smiled. “I mean it, Lara. I care about you and if I can make you feel even a tiny bit better, I'll do whatever you want. If you need a late night talk, or a shoulder to cry on, or a place to stay, I'm your guy.”

“About that last part... when I'm discharged, I don't think I want to be alone, especially in Croft Manor. This place is huge and I'll feel more lonely than ever. If you offer your place to stay, I'll accept that offer.”

“Of course. I'll be happy to help.”

They sat in silence until Alex' stomach growled. Only then he realized he hadn't eaten since morning and it was late afternoon.

“Sorry. I guess I should go and grab something to eat. Do you need anything?”

“No, not really” she moved, letting him go. “But you feel free, I'll try to take a nap in the meantime. I'm so tired” she yawned. “If Roth comes and I'm asleep, will you wake me up?”

“The doctor said you need to rest.”

“Please.”

“Alright, I'll wake you up” he promised and stood up.

“Oh, and I'm sorry about your shirt” she said, noticing the spot she soaked with her tears.

“Don't worry, it'll dry” he assured her and left. She smiled and closed her eyes, falling asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow.

She woke up when it was dark already and she was surrounded by people. Fear creeped up her and she grabbed the hand that was touching her, before the dim light was turned on and she realized the people around her were not enemies. Quite the opposite, they were her friends.

“Hey, it's okay, you're okay, I'm only waking you up as promised” she heard Alex speak softly and she relaxed, letting go of his hand.

“I'm sorry, I'm a little paranoid” she apologized.

“After everything we've been through, I think we all are” Jonah spoke, relief written all over his face. “How do you feel?”

“Much better now” Lara smiled softly, looking at the three of them.

“I'm glad you're alive and recovered” Reyes said with a soft expression. “I'm sorry for the way I've treated you back on the island, Lara.”

“It's fine. You were desperate to come back to your daughter. I understand that. How is she?”

“Awesome. I was a bit afraid she won't be willing to leave the States, but turns out she loves England and she feels much better here. And she's thrilled I won't be leaving her anymore. I owe that to you, Lara, I'm forever in your debt. Thank you.”

“Don't worry about it. If I can ever help you in any way, just let me know. I'm just happy for you, all of you.”

“Another thing I should thank you for. This one told me it was you who ultimately convinced him to give it all a shot and try being a family” she said, pointing at Roth.

“Not quite. I only said he was always an amazing father to me, so he has nothing to worry about with Alisha.”

“I still think you're exaggerating it” Roth protested.

“I'm not. You know I loved my dad, but after he died, you were the closest person who could fill the void he left. Alisha is a really lucky girl with parents like you.”

“We're just getting to know each other, we can talk in a few years when she decides she's sick of us.”

“She won't. Tell him, Reyes.”

“I have to agree with Lara, you're so much better at parenting than I am. Which again proves I made a terrible decision back then.”

“We talked about it.”

“How is your leg?” Lara interrupted the fight before it even started. Little did she know that she chose the bad topic to change to.

“Much like Endurance: beyond repair” Roth answered, lifting the leg of his pants and exposing a prosthetic underneath.

“Oh my God” Lara covered her mouth in shock. “I'm so sorry.”

“Don't be. I could die if it wasn't for your help. The doctors said I'm lucky I still can walk. You did your best, but you couldn't prevent necrosis, not in the conditions we were in. For the limited resources you had there, you did a hell of a good job. You saved us all, you shouldn't feel bad for anyone.”

“But it was my call to go there in the first place...”

“We've just talked about it” Alex interrupted her. “It wasn't your fault, period. No discussion.”

“Alex is right, I know I blamed you for that, but even Alisha said it was unfair” Reyes agreed.

“You couldn't have predicted what we were going into” Jonah nodded. “We were faced with a situation and you did the best you could to get us out of there. That's what matters, not how we got there.”

“Besides if anything, that would be my fault” Roth spoke, gripping his walking cane tight. “I didn't have to listen to you, yet I did. I made the decision to follow your instincts and you weren't wrong, we found what we were looking for. Who could expect that we would find way more than we wanted to. As the captain of this expedition, I'm responsible for everything. Not you, Lara.”

“But you couldn't know we will be stuck and attacked by the cult” she protested.

“This is exactly what I told you” Alex reminded and Lara blinked with confusion. “You're so eager to lift the blame from everyone except you. And if anything, Roth makes the most sense. As the captain, he was responsible for the people on the ship. But I don't blame him, and I don't blame you. None of us do.”

“Sam does.”

The silence that followed Lara's words spoke volumes.

“I don't think she does” Jonah spoke finally.

“Then why did she disappear? She didn't even wait for me to wake up.”

“Lara, right now Sam is mentally in a very bad place. She's hurting a lot and if going no contact is going to help her, then by all means I support her decision.”

“I understand and respect her wish, Jonah. It doesn't mean I feel good with her choice. I'm hurting as well.”

“I know you two were very close” Roth said gently. “It's normal you don't want her to distance from you and that it's painful to respect her wishes. But don't forget you're not alone, everyone in this room is here for you.”

“The same way you were there for us on the island” Reyes added. “Look, I might not be the kindest and most pleasant person, I was unnecessarily harsh to you. But if you need anything, you can count on me. You earned my respect and loyalty.”

“And this is not an easy thing, trust me on that” Jonah winked and Lara smiled softly. “So, no more blaming yourself, Little Bird. You need to rest, not spiral into madness.”

“Thank you. All of you.”

“No, thank you. I knew you could do this” Roth squeezed her hand. “I hope you believe that now.”

“I think I do. And I think I understand what you meant back then.”

“You do?”

“Yes. I am a Croft. And I have to continue what my dad didn't finish” she looked at him with determination in her eyes. Roth smiled at her with pride.

“Your parents would be so proud of you. I know I am” he said, moving a little to hug her.

“Thank you. It means a lot.”

The rest of the evening was spent in much more cheerful atmosphere. The good time lasted until the nurse firmly told them to leave, because the patients need rest. Lara didn't even know how exhausted she was until she fell asleep as soon as they left.

Two days later she finally got out of the hospital after making countless promises she won't go on another expedition until she rests properly. Alex picked her up and as promised, he took her to his place. Truth be told, he also didn't really want to be alone, so he was grateful she agreed to stay with him.

“I'm glad you didn't change your mind” he said, closing the door behind them.

“I thought we both agreed that none of us wants to be alone for some time” she noticed, putting away her bag. The whole way he tried to convince her that he could help carry her bag, but she didn't even want to hear it. Until he's out of the cast, there was no way she would let him do anything.

“Yes, but it doesn't mean I can't be happy about that. You could always go to Jonah or your dad's girlfriend, yet you decided to stay with me. I feel special” he grinned like an idiot, making Lara extremely embarrassed, which he found amusing and endearing. “Anyway, there's a bed and a couch. You can take either, I'll just take the other.”

“I don't mind sharing the bed. I mean, I don't want to sound inappropriate, but I'm used to sharing sleeping places with other people during expeditions. It's not a problem to me, if you're alright with that” she stated calmly yet friendly. It was hard for him to read her intentions.

“If you're alright, I'm more than alright. Besides, we slept next to each other already, now we're just going to have a comfortable bed instead of the ground.”

“That's a big improvement, I can't wait.”

________________________

Lara opened her eyes when she heard a groan of pain. It took her a moment to assess the situation. She saw Roth who had just shielded her from the cultists' attacks and fell to the ground. They both knew he was dying and no matter how much she cried or begged, there was nothing she could do. He was gone before she could even fully process what was happening.

The next days were a blur, until she found herself trapped, under attack. Alex was sitting next to her, his leg crushed under some parts of the ship. She was too weak to move it, their enemies were everywhere and some gas started leaking. Alex started yelling at her to leave, to let him be a hero and save everyone. She had no choice but leave, choking on her tears, as she heard explosion behind her back.

________________________

The fact that Lara didn't wake up screaming, was already a progress. She expected to wake up on the island, but when she came to her senses, she was in a comfortable bed, in a nice room. She sat up, breathing heavily and suddenly she realized she wasn't alone. Panic started to creep down her body, her muscles ready to fight, to do anything to survive.

“Hey, hey, it's okay, you're okay. It was just a dream” she heard in the darkness and exhaled heavily. She wasn't quite sure what was real and what wasn't. She wiped the tears off her face.

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't be” Alex sat up as well, to make sure she was alright.

“Did I wake you up?”

“No. I had a nightmare too. I thought we still are on Yamatai and Himiko's cultists are chasing us.”

“I saw Roth die. Then the scenery changed and I saw you die. At this point I'm not entirely sure I'm not hallucinating” she confessed.

“Come here” he pulled her into a hug and smiled softly, when he felt her relax and nearly melt in his embrace. “I promise I'm as real as you are. I promise we're in London now, not on Yamatai. And I promise Roth is alive, we can call him in the morning.”

“Can we try to go back to sleep?”

“Of course. Do you want to keep cuddling?”

“If that's not a problem...”

“Never” he smiled and carefully lied down. It took them some time to find a comfortable position, but both of them fell asleep almost immediately.

In the morning, Lara woke up first. She felt surprisingly well rested, comfortable and in a really good mood. She didn't have any more dreams and she quickly realized why. Most probably, the man sleeping next to her was the reason she finally relaxed. She was never interested in dating, she preferred to focus on studying, but now she could take a step back. On the one hand, she finally found her drive to push forward, on the other hand she stopped and reflected on her life. Up to this point, the person she could rely on was Sam. They were best friends, nearly inseparable, Sam was the only person who could make Lara open up. Without her, young Croft would spend all her academic years in the library, seeking knowledge in the books, instead of taking the healthy breaks and having some fun. Now that Sam was gone, she had no one she was this close to. Sure, there was always Roth, but he was around the age of her parents, he could never understand her the way Sam did. Unless...

“Morning” Alex said quietly, then yawned and stretched. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice him stir and wake up until he spoke. “How are you feeling?” he asked, looking at her with concern.

“Morning. I'm quite okay. I didn't expect to wake up this rested” Lara smiled.

“I feel surprisingly good as well. Even that nightmare doesn't feel as horrible as usually. Looks like sharing the bed wasn't a bad idea” he smiled back and turned to the side to face her.

“Yeah... I don't know, it's just so weird.”

“What is weird?”

“You know I'm not the most sociable person and my people skills are rather poor...”

“Really? I'd never tell” he said, the sarcasm was obvious in his voice.

“Not funny” she retorted, but despite her words, she was smiling. “What I'm trying to say is that my dating history is rather poor. Usually when I learn someone is interested in me, things become awkward and the relationship quickly ends.”

“Okay... I'm not sure I'm ready to hear what you're trying to say.”

“It's not that. I mean, it's different this time. I expected things to be awkward and embarrassing, I expected a lot of tension, the way things usually are. But there's nothing. Being with you is just so easy. I feel safe. A little warm and fuzzy inside, but safe and comfortable.”

“You are aware I have a crush on you, right?” he asked carefully.

“I am. And for the first time in like ever, it doesn't terrify me.”

“Lara...” he sighed and sat up. “Be careful of what you're going to say next. Saying things like these... Don't do this to me. Don't give me hope if you don't mean it” he pleaded, not able to look her in the eye.

“What are you talking about? You think I could toy with you, break your heart and leave? After everything we've been through?” she asked, sitting up as well. “I meant what I said. I'm not suddenly madly in love with you, but I'm willing to give it a chance. I want to see where we can get from here.”

“I guess that has to be enough for now.”

[angel-tries-to-write]

When darkness meets the light

Fandom: K-pop Demon Hunters Rating: Mature Pairing: Jinu x Rumi, Zoey x Mystery, Mira x Abby x Romance (if you squint) Word count: 13216 Genre: hurt&comfort, fix fic TW: suicide attempt, sa mentioned

What would happen if Jinu never betrayed Rumi, Huntrix sealed Honmoon and defeated Gwi-ma, yet it wasn't enough to erase Rumi's patterns?

The plan was perfect. At least it was supposed to be. When Bobby informed them that Saja Boys were fighting and refused to go onstage, it seemed like everything would be the way it was meant to be. Now, all they needed to do, was to finally create golden Honmoon. And they did it. Finally, after centuries of trying, the Hunters succeeded and sealed Honmoon for good, turned it gold, unbreakable. Gwi-ma was cut off of this world for good, or at least for a few millennia. Saja Boys never performed, it was said they got into a heated argument and decided to disband. That resulted in Huntrix winning the Idol Award for the year. Their mission was completed. Zoey couldn't contain her excitement, they could finally be free. Her enthusiasm even made Mira grin like an idiot, especially when their leader pointed out they could go on the well-earned vacation. No Gwi-ma, no Saja Boys, no demons, no problems.

Rumi entered the bathroom with a smile, she couldn't believe it was real. She happily threw her jacket off, ready to welcome her new life and smooth, unmarked skin. Yet, she looked in the mirror and froze.

“No...” she choked out, her eyes immediately filled with tears. “No, no, no, no! They were supposed to vanish!” she screamed at her reflection. The demonic marks stood out against her pale skin, glowing with pulsating light.

Rumi panicked. What was she supposed to do now? Celine said that sealing Honmoon forever, will make her marks disappear, she would be free of her demonic nature. And they not only still were there, but kept visibly growing every moment.

“Rumi! Are you okay?” she heard Zoey's voice from behind the door.

“I'm fine!” she lied, quickly covering up. “I just slipped on the wet floor!”

“Be careful, you don't want to spend our hiatus in hospital!”

“Yeah” she faked a laugh. “That would be terrible.”

The idol waited for her friend's footsteps to move further and she snuck out of the bathroom. She couldn't let anyone see her, she didn't even want them to see her. She rushed to the nearby exit, watching her back with rising anxiety. And she was so distracted, that she wasn't looking where she was going. Therefore she ended up colliding with a tall, muscular body.

“Rumi? Is everything okay?” Jinu asked, holding her gently. Great, he was the last person she wanted to meet. Well, maybe not last, but close to the end of the list.

“I'm fine” she answered quickly, not even looking at him.

“Where are you going? We won” he smiled with relief. “I finally don't hear his voice. Gwi-ma is gone, you did it.” She could hear he was happy. Well, she would be as well, if everything went according to the plan.

“I have things to do and places to be” she answered vaguely. “Please, let me go.”

“Rumi, you don't seem well...”

“Let me go!” she screamed, pulling out of his embrace. A purple wave of energy rippled through the air. Jinu looked at her, stunned by her sudden outburst, Rumi took this chance to get out and disappear. As he stood out there, his band mates showed up, a little concerned.

“What was that?” Romance asked. Jinu didn't even have a chance to say anything, because the other Hunters materialized in the corridor.

“What did you do this time?” Mira asked angrily. Neither she nor Zoey summoned their weapons yet, but they were ready to fight.

“You felt that too, right? That weird surge of energy?” Abby answered with a question and the two female idols exchanged a look.

“So it wasn't you?” Zoey sounded almost surprised.

“No. We came here to investigate and we found Jinu standing here” Mystery said, pointing at their leader.

“Do you know what this is about?” Romance looked at him, but Jinu only shook his head.

“I have no idea” he lied smoothly.

“That felt like a quite powerful demon. Strong enough to destroy our golden Honmoon” Mira stated. “We need to find it and neutralize before the situation escalates.”

“You can count on us” Abby announced.

“What?” Mira blinked with confusion.

“You defeated Gwi-ma with your golden Honmoon and you freed us from his control. We owe you a big one” he answered. “We'll help you find this demon, none of us wants to go back to demon realm and be miserable again. You freed us, it's only fair of us to help you now.”

The two Hunters exchanged another look, not quite sure what they were supposed to do. Should they trust their rivals? Could they even trust them? It was all too complicated.

“Wait. Where's Rumi?” Zoey asked suddenly, looking around like she expected her friend to appear out of nowhere.

“We haven't seen her” Mystery said honestly, there wasn't a slight trick in his voice.

“You know something” Mira narrowed her eyes at Jinu.

“I saw her briefly. She said she needs to get some fresh air. She should be back soon” he answered, knowing he can't play dumb this time. They were already suspicious and he needed to figure out what happened first.

“I'm not surprised. What you did was huge” Abby smiled at Mira and winked. The huntress eyed him suspiciously. Even if he had any effect on her, this time she was hiding it pretty well. Zoey, however, shamelessly drooled at the sight of his muscles peeking out of his shirt.

“Yeah, yeah. I really hope we did it for good” Mira shook her head. “We should focus on finding that demon now. Any ideas?”

“You're the bosses” Romance shrugged. “We're here only to help, not to command you.”

“Besides, up to this point, Jinu was the one in charge, but since we officially disbanded, I'd say we don't have to listen to him anymore” Mystery pointed out.

“First of all, I was the leader because I was the only one who had any plan” Jinu protested. “Second of all, none of you had to listen to me, you did it on your own, so don't you dare whine now. Third of all, do whatever you want, I have places to be” he said and turned around to walk away.

“Where are you going? Weren't you supposed to help us find this demon?” Mira asked, still hesitant to believe any of the Saja Boys.

“I never said I will” he answered, not even turning back.

“Typical Jinu. Never did a thing for someone else” Romance rolled his eyes.

“Didn't expect him to help anyway” Abby added. “We, however, are willing to help you” he declared, putting his hand on his chest.

Jinu didn't let these comments provoke him. He had more important things to do, he needed to find Rumi and make sure she was alright. These demons were right, in a way. Never in his life he cared for someone this much, he never worried about anyone else but him. Now everything has changed and he had to do what he could to not ruin this. He couldn't just tell them that she was the source of this strange energy, as much as he liked to tease Rumi about it, he would never betray her like this. No, he had to do it on his own. Unfortunately, the moment he stepped out, into the streets, he realized he had no clue where he should start to search. Seoul was huge and she could be anywhere. He tried to sense her, to follow the path of demonic powers, but he couldn't feel anything. Either Gwi-ma's defeat weakened all the demons, or she wasn't traceable, as she wasn't the full demon. First, he decided to try in their penthouse, even though he had no idea if he will be able to get inside. Well, it wouldn't hurt to try. Unfortunately, the security at the entrance was as uncooperative as the security could be, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Their job was to keep away paparazzi, obsessed fans and other potentially dangerous people away from the Korea's top idols. Jinu couldn't blame them for being the best at what they were paid for, but for some reason he couldn't simply teleport, so their professionalism was extremely inconvenient. He was about to give up and start looking somewhere else, when something landed on his shoulder. It was the six-eyed bird in a hat, whom Rumi named Sussie. And as usual, she was followed by the giant, blue tiger, whose name was Derpy, also Rumi's idea. This solved all his problems, if he could convince this tiger to take him—

Jinu blinked with confusion, he barely even thought about what he needed to do and the next moment he stood on the balcony, high above the ground. He didn't even get the chance to think about it, because he saw her. Sitting on the railing, dangerously looking down, she was so broken, defeated, yet perfect as always. Even at her lowest, she looked like goddess and he wasn't sure if she was always like this, or has something changed in the way he perceived her.

“Rumi?” he spoke softly, trying not to scare her. One slip and it all could be over.

“What are you doing here? How did you get in?” she asked, startled. Thankfully she didn't lose her balance, and still remained on the railing.

“Derpy brought me to you” he explained, stroking the tiger's head, the creature kept his eyes on the huntress, not even blinking. Jinu knew he was ready to act if she tried something stupid. “He's worried about you. And so am I. Talk to me, Rumi. What's wrong?” he asked, slowly coming closer.

“Everything is wrong. Sealing Honmoon forever was my only purpose. It was meant to fix everything, fix me, but it didn't work.”

“Fix you? What do you mean? I can't think of a single thing about you that needs fixing” he said, standing next to her.

“Very funny” she rolled her eyes. “If you want to tease me, now it's not the best time. I'm so not in the mood.”

“I'm serious. It's not a joke, it's not teasing, I genuinely think you don't need fixing. You're perfect the way you are.”

She didn't respond, only turned her head away. In the city lights, he saw tears, swelling in her eyes.

“I'm going to miss all of this” she confessed. “On the other hand, maybe I'll meet my mom. Maybe I'll have a chance to ask her, how she could leave behind such a mistake.”

“What are you talking about? You're not a mistake! And if you think I'll let you leave everything, you're so wrong” Jinu looked at her horrified. The thought of what she wanted to do sent a chill down his spine.

“What else am I supposed to do?! How can I possibly live, when I look like this?!” With one, swift move, she took off her jacket. Now he could see the problem, her demonic marks covered her whole arms. When he looked carefully, he noticed them also on her bare thighs. And stomach. And they even started to show up on her face.

“We'll figure it out. We'll talk to the girls, we'll explain everything to them” with every word, Jinu was talking faster and more desperate. He had to stop her at any cost. “You're not alone, Rumi, I promise you, it's going to be—”

“Don't you even dare say it's going to be alright, you know fully well it won't be!” she interrupted him and her patterns started to glow. He had to do something fast.

“It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. I'm not letting you go, no matter what” he stated and wrapped his arms around her waist. “You're going to hate me now, but you'll thank me later” he informed her and started dragging her inside. At first, Rumi was too shocked to do anything, but she quickly came to her senses, at least sort of.

“Let me go! It's not your decision to make!” she yelled, squirming and trying to get free.

“It's not yours either. You can do to me whatever you want, I'm not letting you go, I'm not letting you jump” he said through gritted teeth. She tried to get away from him, but he was stronger and soon she found herself in the living room, far from the balcony. Only then he let her go. As soon as he did it, she summoned her sword and pointed it at him.

“I should've done this a long time ago” she growled.

“You're going to kill me, because I won't let you end your life? That's fair” he smiled, holding his hands up. “I wouldn't want to stay in this world if you're not there.”

“Stop trying to get into my head!”

“I'm being honest. Maybe for the first time in forever, I'm telling you the whole truth. I didn't tell you everything before, when I was offered the possibility to enter the palace, I couldn't take my mother and sister with me. So I left them. I lived a lavish life while they were struggling in poverty. I wanted Gwi-ma to erase these memories, to stop them from haunting me, but you know what? I realized that maybe there is a chance for me. That maybe I can redeem myself, to make up for the past mistakes. Maybe without Gwi-ma, my past can become just scars, not the constantly open wound. He enjoyed my pain, he loved to torture me, now he's gone and the only voice I hear is yours. You can do it too, Rumi. Let go of the past, start a new life. Talk to your friends.”

“No. They wouldn't understand. They'd see me as a demon, as something that should be destroyed. And if I'm to leave this world, under no circumstances I want them to ever blame themselves. I know how it destroys a person, I've seen it all the time growing up.”

“What do you mean?”

“Doesn't matter. Whatever happens, Zoey and Mira can never know the truth.”

“Rumi, please...”

“No!” she screamed, sending another wave of energy. Honmoon threads vibrated slightly, they were strong, but not unbreakable, not against someone as powerful.

“Why do you believe there's a hope for me, but not for you?”

“It's not the same.”

“You don't trust them?”

“It's not that...”

“They're your best friends, right? Then they'll understand.”

“Stop it.”

“You know I'm right.”

“Stop it!”

“Rumi?” Zoey spoke suddenly. She stepped out of the shadow, Mira behind her. The huntress was so thrown off with her friends' unexpected appearance, that she didn't even notice when Jinu knocked her sword out of her hand and grabbed her wrists.

“Would you stop trying to make everything difficult and talk like a civilized person, or do I have to restrain you?” he asked, irritated with her stubbornness.

“Why did you bring them here, I told you they must never know!” Rumi yelled in panic, trying to free herself from his hold.

“How could I bring them here, I was with you the whole time!” Jinu yelled back at her.

“Can anyone explain what is happening here?” Mira asked, clearly contemplating if she should summon her weapon right now, or give it a few minutes.

“Let go of me!” Rumi screamed, sending another wave of energy through Honmoon threads.

“Calm down and I'll consider this” the man was adamant, he couldn't let her do something stupid.

“This-this energy...” Zoey spoke, looking around. “What did you do to her?” she asked with murderous, accusing glare.

“I didn't do anything, it's entirely her doing” Jinu answered, still fighting with Rumi. “She's spiraling, we have to find a way to calm her down, if she loses it, her voice might rip Honmoon apart!”

“She could do this?” Mira raised her eyebrows with surprise.

“She's very powerful and I'd rather not check if it's possible or not. Rumi, calm down, it's not—”

He didn't finish the sentence, because at this moment she managed to yank her hands from his grasp, only to charge at him with fury, making him fall on the floor.

“Rumi, stop!” Zoey screamed, but it had zero effect, her friend was like hypnotized, she couldn't hear anything. She tried to hit or scratch Jinu, blinded by rage.

Sussie blinked her six eyes, seeing it. She looked at Derpy, who was pacing nervously, not really knowing how to help. The magpie sighed and stretched her wings. Humans were useless. She squinted her eyes, flew up and aimed straight at Rumi's face. She didn't want to hurt her, only distract for long enough, to allow Jinu gain the upper hand. He didn't waste his chance, he flipped the huntress over and pinned her to the ground.

“Thanks, Sussie” he breathed out, panting heavily. He hasn't been this tired for centuries. “Now, can we finally talk, or do you want to continue fighting?” he asked, looking down at the female idol. She was a complete mess, yet he felt like he could stare at her forever.

“Let me go! Let me leave!” she screamed at him. “I have to—”

“Alright, don't say I didn't warn you” he interrupted her and before she could say anything else, he silenced her for good by pressing his lips to hers.

Rumi froze, she immediately stopped thrashing. Zoey and Mira nearly dropped their jaws on the floor, even the tiger and the magpie didn't know what to do. Jinu decided to do a little test and let go of Rumi's hands. He waited for a punch, a slap, anything. He didn't expect that she could eagerly wrap her arms around his neck, as she kissed him back. Finally, after a long time, they separated.

“Are you ready to talk now?” he asked softly.

“No. But I assume you won't let me go if I don't do it anyway” she responded, completely defeated.

“That's right” he let go of her and helped her to stand up. He pulled her to the couch and sat down with her.

“Alright now” Mira spoke, taking her place on the table. “Talk. I want to know everything, particularly why did you say you're not hiding anything, yet you kept secret this whole thing” she said, gesturing at her friend's skin.

“You were never meant to find out” Rumi answered quietly, hugging herself. “Celine said that after we seal Honmoon forever, they'll be gone. She said I have to hide them, that you would never understand. That if you knew, you would hate me and we would never reach our goal.”

“Is this why you've never wanted to go to the bath house?” Zoey asked, sitting next to her. Everything she was taught kept screaming that she should keep her distance from all the demons, but her heart knew it was Rumi. She could never hurt anyone.

“I wanted to go with you so bad” the leader confessed. “I wanted so many things, I wanted to take a bath with you, to go to aquapark and take all the water slides, to wear cute dresses and sleeveless shirts when it's incredibly hot, to have the same changing room as you, so we all could chat while we get ready. But every one of these meant you would see my patterns and I couldn't allow it. I wanted to tell you many times, but Celine kept saying that no matter what, I can't lose you.”

“How long have you been keeping these from us?” Mira asked, her feelings were very mixed. She was angry and hurt, but she was also incredibly sorry for her friend.

“Since birth.”

“What?” Zoey exclaimed in surprise. “But weren't your mom...”

“That's the only reason I'm still here. Celine raised me only because of my mom. If you want to ask about my dad, I know nothing about him, only that he was a demon and he went mad with grief and disappeared after my mom died. I don't know their story.”

“Do you think Celine knows more than she says?”

“About him? No. If he was killed by the Hunters, she would tell me.”

“You think so?” Mira raised her eyebrow. “I feel like she's hiding a lot more.”

“Even if she does and he's somewhere out there, I don't think I want to meet him. If he were to be a part of my life, he would have to get along with Celine, and this will never happen. They both feel guilty about the past.”

“When you said earlier, that you don't want your friends to live with the guilt of killing you, because you've seen how it destroys a person... You meant Celine, right?” Jinu asked softly. Mira's eyes widened with realization, while Zoey looked a little confused.

“She never meant to do this. She tried to attack my dad, my mom just got in the way, trying to stop her.”

“Wait. Are you saying that Celine killed your mom?” Zoey asked with disbelief.

“It was an accident, but essentially, yes. This was another reason why I never told you about who I am, what I am, I didn't want you to have to go through the same thing. To leave you with a situation where you kill your friend, trying to get rid of a demon” Rumi explained, the whole time she didn't even look at anyone. She couldn't bring herself to face them, as she knew that this conversation was never supposed to happen.

“Wow. I thought my life was terrible, but you officially win this in a landslide” Mira commented. “I see why you kept it secret, but it still wasn't okay. You know everything about us, every darkest thing, and yet you thought we could hate you if you were honest about yourself. Just so you know, I'm pretty mad at you right now and you'll have to work to earn my forgiveness.”

“But Mira... I know it hurts, but it's Rumi, you can't really be mad at her” Zoey pleaded, looking at her friend with puppy eyes.

“No, Zoey. I'm hurt and angry right now, because what she did was so not okay.”

“I'm sorry...” Rumi said quietly.

“Being sorry is not going to fix this. I don't hate you, I'm just angry and I expect compensation. I don't know what I want yet, but I'll think of something.”

“S-so... you will forgive me?” Rumi asked quietly, looking up for the first time since they showed up.

“Eventually, yes. But I'll need some time. You messed up so bad.”

Rumi didn't listen to her anymore. She just launched forward and hugged her friend tightly.

“You're the best” she whispered, trying not to cry.

“I'm still mad at you” Mira noted, but she hugged their leader back. “What are you waiting for, come here” she said, looking at Zoey and opening her arm as invitation. The third huntress didn't hesitate, she happily joined the group hug.

“I love you both so much” Zoey smiled wide. “Rumi, I have to agree with Mira, I don't understand why you thought we could ever hate you. Imagine I never told you I'm autistic and you spend half of your day wondering if I'm okay. Or if Mira never explained her struggles with her gender identity and we would be frustrated with each other, instead of being kind and understanding.”

“Well, the difference is that we don't fight autistic or intersex people. They don't eat the souls of innocent” Rumi pointed out.

“Maybe we're just more discreet than demons?” Zoey joked and winked. “My point is, even if you're half-demon, you're still our Rumi, the same as always. You can't rest and we never know what's on your mind, but nobody is perfect, right? We still love you, just like you love us and all of our quirks.”

“Truth be told, I don't think I want to be that person anymore. I'm tired of working all the time and trying to be perfect. I want to chill with you, to learn how to rest, to tell you everything that is on my mind, without having to worry you won't understand. I want to be real” the huntress confessed.

“Well, nothing stops you now” Zoey pointed out.

“No more lies?” Mira asked.

“No more lies. I promise” Rumi confirmed and the three Hunters hugged even tighter. Finally they broke their hug and looked at each other.

“If you want me to forgive you, I think I have an idea. Three months of doing nothing, we sit on the couch, watch Zoey's clips about turtles and go to bath house twice a week. These are my conditions” Mira stated.

“I think I can do that” Rumi smiled softly. “Although I do have an idea for a new song. It's about being yourself, about loving and accepting who you are.”

“That sounds amazing. We can write and produce it, but no unexpected announcements, okay? It's going to be perfect for our comeback” Zoey said and Mira nodded with approval.

“Sounds great” Rumi agreed.

“I like when you stand your ground, not try to be a people pleaser” Mira praised Zoey, who blushed slightly.

“If we're going to be ourselves from now on, I need to practice that” she answered.

Rumi turned around and sat back on the couch, right next to Jinu.

“So, how does it feel?” he asked with amusement.

“Wonderful” she answered with a smile. “Thank you, Jinu. For everything.”

“No, I should thank you” he said and rolled up his sleeve. His forearm was marked with long scratches, all traced with blood.

“Oh my— What happened?” Rumi asked with shock, drawing her friends' attention.

“Let's just say you were pretty determined to make me let you go. But there is a reason why I'm showing you that.”

“Jinu, I hurt you! You're bleeding!”

“Exactly.”

“What?”

“Rumi. Think” Mira said, slightly amused. “Demons don't bleed.”

“Precisely” Jinu smiled happily. “The moment you sealed Honmoon, I stopped being a demon. You gave me my soul back and made me human again. That's something I won't forget for eternity. I'm forever grateful for what you did.”

“I did it?” Rumi blinked a few times with shock. “But how?”

“Well, these things don't really have a manual. Maybe it happened, because I put faith in you. Maybe I believed you can help me redeem myself, that you could give me hope. Or maybe it's because I lost my soul when I decided to be selfish, and got it back when for the first time I truly cared about someone other than me” he said quietly, taking her hand. The purple marks on her skin have faded, still visible, but now they looked more like scars.

“Because of you I'm at peace with myself now. The side I couldn't accept, my demon heritage, you were the only one who found it beautiful. Who accepted both parts of me. I don't know if I could ever tell them the truth if it wasn't for you” she confessed, entwining their fingers.

“Not quite. I, and I assume the girls either, showed up here because of him” Jinu pointed at the blue tiger, who kept sitting on the opposite side of the room, and simply stared at them. “If you thank everyone, don't forget about him.”

“This thing is still here?” Mira asked, not very pleased with the sight of a creature.

“Come here, big boy” Rumi called the tiger with a smile. The creature approached her and nuzzled his face against her hand. “You're such a good boy, Derpy” she praised him, scratching his chin. “Thank you so much.”

“Derpy? It has a name?” Zoey asked with curiosity.

“He hadn't, until he met Rumi” Jinu stated, watching the huntress with amusement. “The bird hadn't have a name either, now she's called Sussie. All her ideas” he pointed at Rumi, who wasn't listening to him at all. “She loves this tiger. Every normal person would be freaked out by this face, but not her. Derpy seems to like her too, he spends more time with her than with me, and he used to follow my every step.”

“I mean, he is kind of cute. Creepy, but still cute” Zoey hesitantly put her hand on the tiger's head and stroke his fur. “And he's so soft!”

Sussie landed next to Mira. She looked at the huntress with an annoyed expression, then looked at the tiger and sighed.

“Is this thing mocking me?” Mira eyed the bird, wary of its behavior.

“What? No, that's just how she is. Constantly done and annoyed. She can be harsh, but deep down she's caring and loving” Jinu explained, not daring to say that she reminded him of a certain huntress.

“Oh. She's a vibe then.”

“I take it you like her.”

“That's a big word, but I guess we'll end up there eventually.”

The bird eyed her and jumped closer. It was clear she also felt that mutual connection and if she was ever to become besties with someone, it would be Mira. After a moment of silence, Jinu spoke again.

“Hey, uh... I have a question. That word Rumi used earlier... intersex? I'm not really familiar with the term.”

“Riiiiight. I forgot how old you are” the mentioned huntress groaned. “You don't have to tell him, if you don't want to” she said, looking at Mira, who had very mixed feelings about it.

“It's fine. If he didn't tell us that you're half-demon, I guess he can keep a secret” the other idol shrugged. “It means that when I was born, no one knew if I was a boy, or a girl. My parents wanted two sons, so they raised me as a boy, until I started to grow up and look more feminine. I also didn't feel like a boy, my whole life I felt something was wrong. When I was taken to the doctor to check on my growth and find out why am I different than other boys, it was confirmed I have traits of both sexes. To put it simply, biologically I am both a man and a woman. I feel better as a woman and a few years ago I decided I want a transition to be fully feminine. So now I'm legally a woman, even though genetically I am still both. I wish I could be open about it, but that would be a huge scandal, transgender people aren't really welcomed in our society. I don't know, maybe after we retire I will tell everyone, but for now, only the closest people know and let's keep it that way.”

“You know, back in my times, people like you were considered sacred. We believed they were blessed by the gods and represented the balance in the world. A perfect harmony of masculine and feminine energy. 400 years ago you probably would have become a priestess and be very respected” Jinu said with a soft smile. “And thank you for trusting me enough, I will not tell a soul.”

“You'd better. Otherwise even Rumi won't protect you from me” she threatened in response.

“You know, I've just realized something” Zoey spoke suddenly. “All of us are partly one thing and partly another. I'm half-Korean, half-American, Rumi is half-demon, half-human and Mira is intersex. None of us can be easily labeled, we don't fully fit into one box or another. And I think that's what connected us, that's our strength. We stay true to ourselves, even though we don't fit anywhere.”

“That was very well said” Rumi praised her friend.

“Alright, it's getting to sweet here for my liking. I didn't even have a chance to shower after the concert. So I'll be going to sleep” Mira announced, standing up.

“Wait!” Rumi stopped her. “We have one more problem to discuss: what are we going to do with Saja Boys now?”

“I don't see how is that our problem.”

“Mira, we can't just leave them. We sealed Honmoon, cut them out of the demon realm, which was essentially their home. And then we abandoned them in the middle of the street, when Derpy took us there. You know they have nowhere to go to, we have to do something” Zoey pleaded.

“To be fair, they are sort of my responsibility. I brought them into this whole idol plan and I convinced them to trust you” Jinu spoke. “I'll figure something out.”

“See? Not our problem” Mira shrugged.

“You were the first to drool over them and now you act like you don't care?” Zoey asked, a little upset by her friend's careless behavior.

“Besides, if they are human again, or at least demons without powers, they won't survive on their own. We can let them stay with us for some time” Rumi added, though she wasn't upset, she knew she had no right to demand anything from Mira now.

“Look, for what I care, this one can even sleep in your bed, this is none of my business” the idol said, pointing at Jinu, who blushed furiously at her words, so did Rumi.

“What? No way!” he protested.

“Mira, ew, we barely know each other” the half-demon added.

“Please. You're not exactly subtle with the way you look at each other, if you're going to lie, at least make it seem convincing” Mira deadpanned. “As I said, it's none of my business, feel free to do whatever you want. But I don't want to have any Saja around me” she stated firmly. Rumi opened her mouth to protest, but she was cut off before she even had a chance. “No, Rumi. Don't ask me about anything, not tonight. My word is final and I'm still mad at you” she said, then turned around and marched straight to her room.

“She's got a point. I mean, at least with you. It's sort of obvious that you're in love” Zoey said and puffed her cheeks to hide a smile, as the pair became even more flustered. “Alright, you're going to find a solution, I'm going to take Derpy and Sussie, and find the rest of the boys” she decided and before anyone could say anything, she was gone. Rumi and Jinu were left alone, with awkward silence.

“Is it really that obvious? That they know what's going on before I even can admit it to myself?” she asked quietly.

“I, uh... I don't know what to tell you.”

“You kissed me first and now you don't know what to say?”

“I did it only because I wanted you to calm down. And you kissed me back.”

“So it was only a distraction?”

“Okay, no, it was mainly a distraction” he admitted and looked at her hurt expression. “Fine, I wanted to kiss you for a while, having to distract you was only an excuse” he confessed. Her face immediately lit up, hope shined in her eyes. “If I didn't rip your costume and get distracted by your patterns, I probably would've kissed you back then in a bath house.”

“Back then? But we were enemies with nothing in common” she said, surprised by his confession.

“Please, the tension was nearly visible, you have to admit it.”

“I probably would've punched you if you tried to kiss me that night. I needed time to develop any feelings for you, I had to get to know you.”

“Then I'm glad I decided to wait. And for the record, I'm not totally opposed the idea of sleeping in your bed, just maybe not tonight. There's no need to rush things” he stated, taking her hand.

“I agree. If Mira and Zoey are right, we're going to end up there anyway” she smiled. “Let's take things slowly and see where it leads us.”

“Sounds great. So, now that we solved this problem, what about me and the boys?”

“I think I have an idea” she smiled. “We're going to need Bobby for that.”

“Bobby? Your manager?”

“Yes. If anyone can help, it's him.”

“I don't know...”

“I'm going to call him” she stood up with excitement, but suddenly remembered something and patted her hips and butt, as if she tried to check the pockets she obviously didn't have in her costume. “Right... I left my phone in the changing room” she facepalmed at her forgetfulness. “Okay, maybe I'll try—” she didn't get to finish, because she heard footsteps behind.

“There you are!” Bobby exclaimed, showing up suddenly. “You disappeared so fast and none of you answered the phone, I started to worry!”

“Hi, Bobby!” Rumi greeted him with the biggest smile. “We were just talking about you. Listen, I know you're probably super busy, but I need to tell you something important, because our next steps depend on you” she almost ran to the manager and pulled him on the couch.

By the time Zoey came back with Derpy, Sussie and the rest of the Saja Boys, Bobby looked like his brain was fried.

“Hi, Bobby! What are you doing here?” she greeted him nervously, trying to signal the boys to hide the tiger somehow.

“Honestly, I don't know at this point” the man replied and rubbed his face with his hands. “Please, tell me, that Rumi is just overworked and she doesn't know what she's saying anymore.”

“What? Rumi, what did you tell him?” Zoey looked at her friend with rising anxiety.

“The truth. About us, about them, about everything. Look, I know it sounds crazy, but if we're going to keep them, we need Bobby to take care of things” Rumi answered, making the other idol's eyes grow even wider.

“You did what? Rumi, Celine warned us that people must never know! You don't know how they would react! Someone who isn't a Hunter, would never understand what we're doing!”

“Yeah? She also said that demons are inherently evil, they don't have any feelings and that you two aren't going to understand my struggles. Celine wasn't always right” Rumi protested, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Alright, fine, you have a point, but Mira is going to murder you if she finds out.”

“She'll understand. Eventually.”

“Okay, so either both of you are crazy, or this whole thing is real and... what the hell is that?!” Bobby jumped at the sight of a giant blue tiger and a six-eyed magpie in a tiny hat.

“Oh, don't worry, they're harmless! They're Jinu's demonic companions” Zoey explained, scratching Derpy's ear.

“Technically they're not demons” Jinu corrected. “I'm not entirely sure what they are, but definitely not demons.”

“It's not that important. What they definitely are, is the proof that everything Rumi told you, is real” the huntress stated, earning a groan from the manager.

“Alright, so let me get this straight. We have five ex-demons, or one ex-demon and four potentially ex-demons, who technically have been considered dead for a few centuries, but now they're back in human world and they need to legally exist in here, and in order to do that, we have to fabricate their entire lives?” Bobby asked, already working on a solution of this situation.

“I'm sorry, what?” Mira asked suddenly, making the two Hunters freeze. She came in so quietly they didn't even notice her appearance. “Please tell me I'm mistaken and you didn't pull Bobby into this mess” she said, her tone so cold it made everyone shiver.

“What other solution would you suggest?” Rumi asked, trying not to irritate her friend more.

“Leave them on their own! If they could come here and make a mess, they can get themselves out of it.”

“Mira, no. We sealed Honmoon, they have nowhere to go” Zoey protested.

“If I may, we also aren't interested in going back to the demon realm” Abby spoke, looking at Mira's bare legs. “Besides, looks like some of us found really good reasons to stay.”

“Well, I can't go back even if I wanted to, and I don't. I'm not a demon anymore” Jinu chimed in, showing bloody scratches on his arm as a proof.

“Wow. What happened?” Romance asked, wincing at the sight. “It looks painful.”

“I've had worse. A small price to make certain someone stop having stupid ideas” Jinu said, looking at Rumi, who blushed furiously, hiding her hands between her legs, as if her demon claws could appear any moment.

“But that looks like demon claws...”

“She's half-demon.”

“Half-demon? How is that possible?” Abby asked, finally taking his eyes off Mira and focusing on Jinu.

“Looks like that's what happens if a huntress and a demon have a child together.”

“And when you were going to tell us about it?”

“Never. It wasn't my secret to share.”

“Wow, hold on, I don't understand something” Abby raised his hands in a "timeout" gesture. “You knew this whole time that she's a demon and you convinced us to let her destroy Gwi-ma, not knowing she wouldn't betray you?”

“I knew she wouldn't betray me.”

“So what, now we're stuck on Earth, because Jinu fell in love?” Mystery spoke, hitting the point.

“You can go back to the demon realm, I'm not going to keep you” Jinu growled, annoyed with this pointless conversation.

“Guys, calm down. None of us wants you to be miserable, we all can gain a lot if you stay in business. Rivalry is good for the PR, am I right, Bobby?” Zoey asked, trying to reduce the tension in the room.

“You're not entirely wrong, if you keep the game, it's definitely going to be very profitable and good for your popularity” the manager responded, already thinking about the practical things. “Okay, leave it to me, for now I'll find a place for Saja Boys to stay, and in the morning I'll start dealing with the rest.”

“You're the best, Bobby” Rumi smiled and gave him a hug. “Do whatever you have to do, you know that money is not an issue.”

“I know. Now take care and please answer the phone” he said, handing the idol her phone.

“I will” she promised. Bobby nodded and left in a hurry, to make several phone calls.

“Wait a moment, I understand why Rumi would defend them, but why are you doing it?” Mira turned to Zoey and looked at her suspiciously.

“I should rather ask, why are you against them so bad?” the younger idol defended herself. “If only you gave them a chance, you would see that they're not that bad. All of them were tricked by Gwi-ma, they became demons against their will. I don't think they should suffer for eternity because of one bad decision.”

“You're delusional. Your crush on them completely clouded your mind.”

“It's not that! I just understand them.”

“How?”

“Because I heard him too!” Zoey yelled and everyone looked at her, shocked by her outburst. Mira opened her mouth to say something, but she quickly closed it, seeing tears in her friend's eyes. “I heard Gwi-ma once. When I lived in the States, I was badly bullied at school, to the point I tried to fake an illness, so I wouldn't have to go there anymore. I heard his voice, telling me to get revenge, promising he could help me. I was desperate, I almost agreed, but then my parents found out about that bullying and decided I should move to Korea. Then I joined Huntrix and I didn't have to worry about any bullies ever again. But I was close, one step and I could've become a demon. Just like them” she finished and wiped her cheeks. Rumi approached her and hugged her tightly.

“I'm so sorry, I had no idea” Mira apologized quietly.

“You saved me, even though you didn't know. That's why I want to give them a second chance, I know they've been tricked, just like I could have been.”

“I wish you told us about it sooner” Rumi said softly, releasing her friend from a hug. “Maybe I wouldn't be so terrified of telling you about my struggles then.”

“What do you mean?”

“Please, don't be mad, but... when I realized that sealing Honmoon isn't going to fix me, isn't going to erase my patterns... I saw only one way out. Now that I think about it, I'm scared I could think like that, but then it felt like the only solution.”

“Are you saying what I think you're saying?”

“Let's just say that if it wasn't for Jinu, I wouldn't be here to talk to you now” Rumi smiled sadly, blinking the tears away. Zoey looked at her, terrified, and hugged her again, wrapping her arms tightly around the older idol.

“Please don't ever think about it again. We can't lose you, Rumi. I can't lose you” she pleaded, not even trying to stop the tears anymore.

“I won't. I promise. I'm going to stay with you forever” Rumi smiled, also allowing her tears to fall.

“You two are so stupid” Mira came close to her friends and hugged them both. “If any of you ever thinks of leaving me, I'm going to find you even in hell, and bring you back.”

“I wouldn't expect any less” Rumi laughed through her tears and wiped her cheeks. They would've continued, but her phone rang at this very moment. “Wow, Bobby is fast” she said, detangling herself from the hug to pick up the phone. “Hi, Bobby, what's up? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Really? Thanks, Bobby, you're the best” she happily ended the call. “So, Bobby has managed to get you guys a place to stay. Believe me or not, but we're going to be neighbors! He got you an apartment on the floor below us” she announced happily. “As for the legal matters and turning you into convincing humans, we'll take care of it in the next few days. For now, we can all go and get some rest. This has been a very eventful night.”

“So we owe you again. First for freeing us from Gwi-ma, now for this. This is a golden opportunity for us, thank you” Romance said, deeply moved by these news.

“I told you it will be worth it” Jinu smirked triumphantly. “Now, let's get some sleep, we won't be bothering you, ladies.”

“See you around, neighbor” Rumi smiled and waved at him.

“See you, neighbor” Jinu replied. “And just in case you needed something, let us know.”

“Oh yeah, we'll definitely pay you a visit soon” Zoey promised, looking at Mystery with dreamy eyes. She could swear he smirked at her in response. “Oh, Jinu, can I keep Derpy for tonight?”

“Don't ask me. He sticks with Rumi now.”

“Rumi?”

“Don't look at me, he does whatever he wants” the huntress shrugged.

“Derpy? Can you sleep with me tonight? Please” Zoey asked the tiger, looking at him with puppy eyes. The creature only blinked, not a single thought was visible behind his eyes, then he stood up and headed to Zoey's room. The idol squealed in delight and nearly ran after the tiger. Sussie looked at Mira, sighed and flew to her shoulder.

“I didn't ask you to come with me!” the huntress said with irritation.

“I think you don't have much choice. Don't worry, she's a great roommate. In contrast to Derpy, she doesn't take the whole bed, she likes to keep her distance. Close enough to feel your presence, but far enough for everyone's comfort” Rumi explained and Mira pressed the bridge of her nose.

“Okay, fine, I guess you can sleep with me” she gave up and turned around, back to her room. Abby, Mystery, Romance and Baby have left already, leaving Jinu and Rumi alone again.

“So, uh... I meant what I said earlier. If you need anything, just let me know. I'll be there in a moment” Jinu said, looking at her softly.

“Actually, you can help me with one thing” Rumi replied. “I need someone to detangle my hair. It's so big and long that I can't do it myself anymore.”

“Fine, lead the way then.”

She took him to her room, where she sat in front of the vanity in her walk-in closed, and they began working on her hair. It's been a mess because of their fight earlier, so now they had to carefully unbraid it and brush properly. It took a while, but after they were done, Rumi looked like a completely different person.

“You should let your hair down more often” Jinu said softly, looking at her reflection in the mirror. “You look absolutely gorgeous” he caressed her cheek.

“Even with my patterns out like this?”

“As far as I'm concerned, you're just as beautiful with the cracks showing” he lifted her head, then leaned down and kissed her softly. She smiled and reached to his hair, as she kissed him back.

“Thank you, Jinu. For everything” she whispered when he broke the kiss.

“See you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow.”

For the next few days they all tried to figure out the new rules of coexistence, and a week or so later, they finally found the perfect rhythm. The girls would spend most of the time on the couch or in the bath house, just like Rumi promised. She still worked on a new song, but she was learning how to rest and relax. Now that she didn't have to hide her patterns anymore, she was much happier and way less stressed than before, both Mira and Zoey noticed that. Like she finally was free. Of course she couldn't just sit and do nothing, but now that she wasn't pressured anymore, she could have a healthy approach to work. Not to mention, her blossoming relationship wouldn't leave her too much free time. If she wasn't with her girls, she was with Jinu and she loved spending time with either of them.

The guys were busy working with Bobby on all the legal matters and creating a convincing story of their existence. They would often pop in for a visit and their relationships were getting closer. Mira finally warmed up to the idea of having ex-demons as her neighbors and stopped complaining about it so much. To her surprise, the first Saja she caught sneaking out in the morning wasn't Jinu, but Mystery, which meant that Zoey didn't have a problem with accepting the new status quo. Mira wasn't as enthusiastic, they could stay in the same building, but away from her room. Although she had to admit that once they became human again, they were slightly less annoying.

One of the lazy days, when Mira and Zoey were glued to the couch with Derpy and Sussie between them, watching some boring documentaries and snacking, an unexpected guest showed up.

“Hello? Anybody home? Ah, there you are” Celine stood behind the couch and looked at her former apprentices.

“Hi, Celine! What brings you here?” Zoey asked cheerfully, though she seemed less enthusiastic than usually.

“I came to congratulate you on your great success. You sealed Honmoon and dealt with Gwi-ma forever. You have no idea how proud of you I am now” the woman answered with a smile.

“Thanks” Mira said, reserved as usual, maybe even more than usual. Celine couldn't exactly pinpoint it, but she could feel something was off, almost like something shifted and the girls weren't truly happy to see her.

“Is everything alright?” she asked with concern.

“It's perfect. We're on a hiatus, we're resting and everything is wonderful” Mira answered quickly. Suspiciously too quickly, but not like she was hiding something. More like she didn't really want to answer that.

“Wonderful. Wait, where's Rumi?” Celine looked around, as if Rumi could pop out of the pillow or something.

“She's out. Probably having a very good time” Zoey shrugged and stroke Derpy's head. The giant tiger stretched and only then the older huntress noticed him.

“What on earth is that?!” she screamed, startled by the creature, then nearly screamed again, when Sussie opened her six eyes.

“This is Derpy and this is Sussie. They used to follow Jinu, then Rumi, and now they're our companions” Zoey explained with excitement and peppered the tiger's forehead with kisses. “They're a part of our family now.”

“Jinu? You mean this demon from Saja Boys? The one who nearly destroyed Honmoon? Why would a demon be accompanied by two protective spirits?” Celine asked, clearly shocked by the news.

“To be fair, he did mention they are not demons. He wasn't sure what they are, though” Mira mused. “So you're saying they're protective spirits?”

“Very powerful ones” Celine agreed.

“That would explain a lot, honestly” Zoey noted. “We'll have to ask Jinu about it when they're back.”

“Oh, totally. Think about it, all the demons perished, but not them. Accident? I don't think so” Mira put her hand on her chin and squinted her eyes suspiciously.

“Technically they weren't demons anymore...” Zoey pointed out. Celine was about to say something, but they suddenly heard a laughter in the distance. The voice seemed familiar, but none of them has ever heard it laughing so loud and uncontrollably. They watched with shock as Rumi entered the living area, clutching her stomach and wiping tears from her face.

“Okay, that's enough, my stomach hurts” she half wept, still giggling. Jinu, who followed her, also couldn't stop laughing.

“I swear, it was even funnier in real life” Jinu chuckled, trying to catch his breath.

“Wow. I don't think I've ever heard you laugh like that” Zoey spoke with amusement. “You really are taking seriously that whole "I'm done hiding" thing” she joked.

Celine only then noticed Rumi's appearance. Her hair was down, reaching almost her ankles. Her face was happy, way happier than Celine has ever seen before. And her dress was revealing, her whole arms were exposed, but also...

Striped.

Her patterns not only didn't disappear, they were iridescent now, shining with all the colors and she seemed to wear them with pride. They not only spread way more than they should have, but also were out in the open, and none of Huntrix members seemed to be bothered by them.

“Rumi... what happened?” Celine asked quietly. When the idol noticed her guardian, her happiness faded instantly. She was way less subtle than Mira and Zoey in that matter.

“I found peace. I accepted who I am” she answered plainly.

“But your patterns...”

“They didn't disappear, as you can clearly see. Turns out even golden Honmoon can't erase that part of me.”

“No, something must have gone wrong...”

“The only thing that went wrong is you” Rumi interrupted her, the patterns on her skin started to shine dangerously. “All these years you made me suffocate in my own skin, keep secrets from the two closest people in my life, and pretend I was something I wasn't, because you couldn't accept it. You couldn't accept me. You wanted to see only what my mother has left, but newsflash, I also had a father. And I'm willing to bet he was nothing like you thought, but you couldn't stand it. Look at me, Celine, and finally admit, that this is what I am” she said, her skin turned pale, her nails turned into claws, her patterns were bright and purple and her eyes glowed gold with vertical pupils. “Look at me!” she screamed and a wave of demonic voice rippled through Honmoon. Derpy and Sussie immediately jumped up, alerted, while both Zoey and Mira were ready to jump into action at any moment. Celine wasn't sure, who would be on whose side, if any fight broke out. Jinu was first to move, he wrapped his arms around Rumi's waist and shoulders.

“Calm down” he said calmly. “You don't want to rip Honmoon.”

“But...”

“No, Rumi, we talked about it. I know you feel hurt, and you want to prove a point, but you need to control your powers. We really don't want to test if the golden Honmoon can resist your voice. Calm down, my love” he ordered softly, and kissed her temple, soothing her nerves. She closed her eyes, leaning into him and took a few deep breaths. After a moment, she went back to normal, but he didn't let go of her.

“Do you know that when I saw my patterns still there, after sealing Honmoon, I wanted to end myself?” she spoke quietly, but loud enough for Celine to hear. “After everything you taught me, I didn't see any other way out. If Jinu didn't stop me in time, we wouldn't have had a chance to talk now.”

“Rumi, I...”

“Why couldn't you just love me?” she asked, her voice breaking. “Why the literal demon was the first person to accept me as a whole? Not just a part of me, but all of me, with my scars and imperfections. It should've been you, Celine. You were like a mother to me, yet you could never love me like one. You made me lie to Mira and Zoey, do you know how much it hurt them? How painful it was when they finally found out? Can you imagine how betrayed they felt, when they learned I was ready to take my own life to prevent them from ever learning the truth? How could you do this to us?” Rumi kept asking, but she never expected any answers. Jinu held her tighter, and for once she was grateful. He wasn't restricting her, he was grounding her and wouldn't let her lose herself. She wrapped her arms around his, calming down as his touch soothed her.

“And you know what is the worst part?” Mira spoke suddenly. “She wanted to do it, because she didn't want us to end up like you. She didn't want us to have to face the same situation you did.”

“What?”

“We know about her mom. What really happened to her. And honestly, I'm surprised you haven't turned a demon, with all the guilt and darkness you've been carrying.”

Celine gasped, Mira's words were sharp, cutting like a blade of her weapon.

“I'm sorry, Celine, but Rumi is like our sister. We're going to protect her forever. Even from you” Zoey added, clenching her fists. “We love her, all of her. Something you clearly weren't capable of.”

“It's not like that...”

“It's exactly like that! You haven't seen her then! How she broke under the pressure you put on her! How she fell apart and she couldn't go back to what she was before! And it wasn't you who had to pick up all the pieces and make her whole again!” Mira hasn't even noticed when she started to yell.

“And the past week? She's been happier than she's ever been her entire life! Her smile was finally genuine! She finally was free! And now that she's back from a wonderful date, you had to come here and ruin her again!” Zoey joined her and the two of them glared at Celine angrily.

“Date?” the older huntress asked, noticing the odd detail. “You're dating a demon?” she looked at Jinu with shock and confusion.

“Ex-demon” he clarified. “I lost my soul to Gwi-ma over a stupid mistake. Rumi allowed me to get it back. Now I'm mortal again and I'm entirely hers. I just happen to be lucky enough, that she wants to be mine.”

“Celine, I don't think I want to see you anytime soon” Rumi spoke quietly. “Maybe one day I'll be able to talk to you, maybe even understand your reasons, but not now. Not until you can see and accept all of me.”

Celine looked like she wanted to say something more, but she decided against it. She only nodded sadly and left the apartment.

“Wow... I can't believe we did it” Zoey slumped on a couch, staring into space with disbelief.

“We confronted Celine about everything she did wrong. It felt almost as good as when I cut ties with my parents” Mira exhaled and laughed with relief.

“How are you feeling?” Jinu asked, still holding Rumi, who was leaning on him heavily. He was pretty sure if he let go of her, she would drop to the floor.

“Honestly, I don't know. My head is spinning and I think I need to rest” she answered, clearly in shock.

“Come and cuddle with Derpy. Celine said that he and Sussie are very powerful guardian spirits” Zoey patted the couch next to the tiger. Jinu didn't even wait, he scooped his girlfriend up and carried her to the couch. Derpy immediately nuzzled his head against her.

“You'll be fine, Rumi. You have us forever” Mira reassured her friend.

“Thank you for standing up for me” the idol smiled softly.

“We wouldn't have done it, if you didn't do it first. You're so brave for standing up for yourself” Jinu praised her and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Do you want me to stay?”

“I do, but... I should spend some time with the girls.”

“We could invite the boys over and spend some time together” Zoey suggested, already holding her phone.

“You do it so often that at this point Mystery can stop trying to hide” Mira deadpanned, making the youngest huntress blush furiously.

“I don't know what you're talking about” she protested, not looking anyone in the eyes.

“Ah, so that's why he sometimes wakes me up in the morning when he tries to sneak into our apartment” Jinu chuckled. “I'll let him know he can stop hiding and come home after we all wake up.”

“You, on the other hand, are either too sneaky, or I just haven't caught you yet” Mira squinted her eyes at the ex-demon.

“Or there's another option: I haven't visited your apartment in the night.”

“Sooner or later you will start.”

“When are you going to start having nightly visitors then?” he retorted and it was Mira's turn to blush.

“Let's not continue this conversation” she huffed, pretending the documentary is suddenly extremely fascinating.

Rumi smiled, seated comfortably between her boyfriend and their giant tiger. She hasn't felt this relaxed since forever, and that's a lot, considering she had just told her mother figure that the woman was terrible. Rumi had always thought that any potential severing ties with Celine would leave her broken beyond repair, not strangely calm and collected. She didn't have any chance to ponder for long, as a loud voice cut through the monotonous narrative about the turtles.

“Huntrix ask, Saja Boys provide!” Abby yelled, spawning in their apartment. Well, figuratively, as they lost this ability. In contrast to Jinu, who instantly became a human, the rest of the boys were losing their powers gradually. The longer they stayed out of Gwi-ma's range, the more mortal they were becoming. Strangely, none of them minded, they seemed almost happy they aren't demons anymore.

“Who asked? No one invited...” Mira traced off, as she looked at her youngest teammate. “Zoey!”

“What? I love you, I really do, but after all what happened, we could use some more company and we could do something fun, instead of sulking on the couch” the idol defended herself and stretched out her arms. Mystery approached without a word and plopped next to her with a silent surprise. The huntress wrapped her arms around him and cuddled comfortably, making him even more puzzled.

“Good news, Mira said you don't have to sneak out anymore” Jinu announced, the amusement in his voice was a little too obvious.

“You have finally warmed up to the idea of having ex-demons around?” Abby asked with a smug grin, both him and Romance took their places on both sides of Mira.

“You wish. I'm just a realist and I know Zoey is going to bang him anyway, we can all stop acting like it's not happening” she answered, crossing her arms. Sussie glanced at the two Saja and sighed, before making herself comfortable on Mira's lap. Just like Jinu predicted, these two became besties almost since the day one.

“Well, in case you feel like changing your mind, you know where to find us” Romance winked at her.

“Why would I ever want any of you?” Mira raised her brow.

“It's kind of obvious. Jinu is madly in love with Rumi, he barely acknowledges any other women's existence. Mystery claimed Zoey and he's very possessive. Baby isn't interested in any kind of relationships, he barely tolerates us. That leaves the two of us for you, sweetheart. Luckily, you don't have to choose, we do like to share” Abby explained and the huntress groaned with irritation.

“In your dreams” she responded angrily.

“It already happens there.”

“Gross.”

“Madly in love? Aren't you exaggerating a little?” Jinu asked, interrupting the quarrel before it escalated.

“Dude, everyone knows you're crazy about her” Abby replied and shrugged.

“She's totally crazy about him as well” Zoey added, not even tearing her eyes off the TV.

“I'm not!” Rumi protested. “Am I?”

“Girl, you wear your hair down for the first time in forever, because he asked you for it. You're glowing when you're with him and you nearly had a meltdown when you realized you didn't have anything to wear for your date, even though he's already seen you in your worst, you can only go better from that” Zoey pointed out, still watching the turtles.

“You two are so in love that literally everyone sees it. You would have to be blind to miss it” Baby stated, tired of this pointless conversation.

“Can we not discuss our private business?” Jinu asked, slightly irritated.

“Bro, there's no such thing as privacy between us. We know everything, no matter how hard you try to hide it” Romance stated.

“We know more than we would like to” Baby commented and shivered with disgust.

“You know, you act saint now and I wonder how would the girls react if they knew we planned to betray them” Jinu smirked viciously. Zoey's eyes widened with shock, while Mira's narrowed with suspicion.

“What do you mean?” the huntress asked, eyeing the Saja Boys sitting on her both sides.

“Technically not us, just you, and not them, just Rumi” Mystery corrected, earning a scoff from Mira.

“Yeah, because that makes it so much better. What did you do?”

“We didn't do anything” Abby protested defensively. “We only planned to expose Rumi as part demon, so you stop trusting her and Honmoon would fall apart. But the last moment Jinu changed his mind and decided to go against us. He said he trusts Rumi more than us and he puts his faith in you and your abilities. And as much as I hate to admit it, he was right. Gwi-ma nearly annihilated him, but thankfully it was too late. You won and the demons lost.”

“You knew about it?” Zoey asked, looking at her friend.

“I did” Rumi sighed, knowing that Mira won't be happy. “Jinu told me the truth, he didn't want to keep it from me, knowing I would eventually find out.”

“And you're okay with that?” Mira asked with disbelief.

“Just because they intended to do something, it doesn't make them guilty. We wanted to do questionable things to them as well, now look how the tables have turned.”

“Nothing has turned. Maybe for you, but not for me.”

“Mira...” Rumi sighed and stood up. She moved to the other part of couch and stood in front of her friend. “Abby, move.”

“But—”

“Move!”

The Saja moved unwillingly, making space for Rumi to sit. She did so and wrapped her arms around Mira. Zoey reluctantly did the same.

“I promise you that no guy will ever stand between us” Rumi swore. “I know you feel a little left out, but we're not going to ignore you just because we're in relationships now.”

“Yeah, the guys are nice, but you're our sister” Zoey added. “Nothing can tear us apart. Though I admit, it would be nicer if you gave them a chance. They're not that bad, they gain a lot when you get to know them a little better.”

“I just don't want you to make a huge mistake. Fine, I can understand Jinu, who proved to be human, but the rest of them? Can we even trust them? I love you two so much and I don't want to lose you because you're blinded by your feelings” Mira sighed and hugged her friends.

“We're literally next to you” Abby commented, a little hurt by her statement.

“She's not wrong, though” Mystery spoke, he would rarely do that.

“Excuse me?”

“We don't know how much we can be trusted ourselves. We don't really know, how human we are. How do you expect her to simply accept it?” he pointed out. Abby wanted to protest, but he couldn't ignore the obvious facts. Mystery had a point, they weren't even sure themselves, how much demons was left in them.

“We'll be fine, I promise. Do you feel better now?” Rumi asked, looking up at her friend. Mira sighed in response.

“Let me guess, you want to go and work on the new songs?” she asked back, knowing fully well what Rumi was up to.

“Yeah... I feel inspired and you know I can't spend too much time in one place” she admitted.

“You really need to learn how to rest. Although you've made a great progress already. Go, I'll be fine” Mira patted her back and Rumi stood up with a smile.

“If you need me, I'll be in the studio” she waved and left, happy to be out.

“I'll go help her” Jinu said, shortly after.

“And you keep saying you're not crazy in love? You don't even want to spend time with us when she's not here” Romance pointed out with a mocking smirk.

“Oh, shut it” Jinu rolled his eyes and left, not wanting to argue further. This wasn't something he was ready to talk about with Rumi, let alone their band mates. Heck, he didn't even want to name it in his thoughts. He stopped outside the studio, taking a few breaths before entering.

“Why does it feel right every time I let you in? Why does it feel like I can tell you anything...” he heard her singing and gently pushed the door.

“What is this one about?” he asked quietly, closing the door behind and sitting on the chair.

“I tried to hide but something broke. I tried to sing, couldn't hit the notes, the words kept catching in my throat. I tried to smile, I was suffocating though, but here with you I can finally breathe, you say you're no good but you're good for me. I've been hoping to change, now I know we can change, but I won't if you're not by my side” she sang in response.

“Sounds nice. And familiar” he smiled, tucking hair behind her ear.

“I want to put my feelings into a song. Everything that connected us, everything that lead to us being where we are now. People should know there's always hope” she answered, barely even noticing his gesture. “I have like half of it and I can't progress any further” she passed him the sheet with lyrics, some of them crossed out, some just scratched. It was a good start, but she was right, something was missing.

“Maybe it shouldn't be a Huntrix song” he said studying the lyrics.

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe you should sing this solo. What inspired you to write this?”

“Us. Our meetings, conversations, everything that brought us close. How we wanted to be free of Gwi-ma, our secrets and insecurities.”

“I might be able to help with that.”

They spent long hours working on the song, fixing the music, rewriting lyrics and trying various options. Jinu's voice wasn't alluring anymore, one of the downsides of being a human again, but he still could sing very well. And the way he harmonized with Rumi, sounded like magic. They barely even noticed when Baby casually opened the door.

“Yo, what do you want for dinner?” he asked, looking at them, completely unbothered. He was aware that anything could be happening behind the closed doors and honestly, if it was someone else he probably wouldn't even open the door. But knowing these two, he didn't have anything to be afraid of, despite Abby's teasing, they were actually working.

“Dinner?” Jinu asked and his stomach growled. They were so absorbed by the process that they haven't noticed anything.

“It's been hours since you left, we started to worry if you're even alive” Baby stated, though his face and voice didn't express any concern.

“We're good. We're actually better than good, the song is almost done, now we need to record and polish it” Rumi stood up with excitement. “And for dinner, I'll have whatever.”

“I don't have any preference either” Jinu said, watching Rumi carefully. Baby shrugged and closed the door, the ex-demon seemed to wait only for it. He pulled the girl on his lap, as she tried to pass by.

“What?” she asked with confusion.

“We need to talk. Alone. And now that we've finished the song, we have no distractions” he straightened her dress and wrapped his arms around her waist. “What are we?”

“What do you mean?” she asked, blushing lightly.

“Are we like friends who just kiss from time to time? Are we a couple? Are we something else? The guys keep teasing me about us being all lovey-dovey and it only bothers me, because I don't know. I'm not sure what we are and where it's all going. And for the first time in my life, I'm scared. I'm scared to even name the things I feel, because I don't want to accidentally ruin something. I need to know how you feel about it” he explained, never looking away from her face, even though it wasn't easy to voice his fears.

“I... I'm not really sure what answer you expect” she replied, clearly surprised by his moment of honesty.

“Rumi, we've just wrote a song about honesty and opening up to each other, yet we can't really do it. We saved each other, but we can't even properly talk about our feelings. I need you to be honest with me: what are we? Whatever the answer is, I need to hear it” he pleaded. She gasped at the raw honesty in his eyes.

“We're definitely not just friends” she assured him. “I feel the same way, I'm even afraid to say out loud how I feel. You're old and you come from a whole different culture. I don't know if I won't scare you if I say something that sounds too serious for you.”

“I was raised with a different mentality, yes, but it's not like I've been under a rock. I caught up with modern culture and I do understand the concept of dating. To a certain extent, of course.”

“Then you've got it better, because I don't understand modern dating at all. Not that I've had much time for a practice, my schedule has been pretty tight, pretty much all my life.”

“So you've never been with anyone?”

“Never.”

“Even like... casually?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know, the way Zoey and Mystery do it.”

“Ew, I don't want to think about it” she closed her eyes and shivered. “The thought of any of the girls being intimate with someone makes me want to throw up. They're like sisters to me and it feels super gross.”

“We're all adults, it really disgusts you?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Only when it involves Zoey or Mira. I don't ever want to think about them being intimate with someone. You should understand it, you had a sister” she said and froze. The pain that flashed in his eyes made her realize her mistake.

“The last time I saw her, she was a child” he said quietly.

“I'm so sorry, Jinu, I didn't mean it like this, I'm sorry” she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

“It's okay, I know you didn't mean it” he closed his eyes as she stroke his hair. “I understand what you meant but it doesn't answer my question.”

“Look, I've never had a chance to experience any kind of romantic relationship, I've never dated anyone, I've never had sex. I want to, but I'm scared of messing something up” she confessed. “And what about you? Have you ever been with anyone?”

“Well... it depends on how you look at it. I've never dated anyone, I've never been in love. I never cared about anyone enough. As for sex... it's complicated” he sighed and moved back to look her in the face.

“You can tell me anything.”

“Well... there's a reason I'm not initiating anything beyond kissing. When I joined the emperor's court, it quickly turned out that singing is not the only thing they expect from me. During the day, I would entertain people with my music. During the night, well, I provided a different kind of entertainment and I wasn't really in the position to refuse anything. So I did what was expected, no matter if I wanted it or not.”

“But... that's not sex, that's...”

“I know” he interrupted her. “I don't want you to pity me, I just thought it would be fair to let you know that if you ever want to try it with me, you will be the first person to have my consent.”

“I'm sorry it happened to you. I can promise that you will never have to worry about any boundaries being crossed, as long as you're with me. I accept only enthusiastic "yes", nothing else” she swore eagerly.

“I love you so much” he whispered, deeply moved by her declaration. “Wait, I, uh... I mean...” he panicked immediately, when he realized the weight of his words. He didn't have a chance to say anything else, as she kissed him and silenced any further words.

“I know I said we should take it slow and see where it leads us, but every time I'm trying to think about it, I feel like every possibility leads to your arms” she confessed when she broke the kiss. “I want to be with you, I want to keep performing and in a few years, we can settle down and get married if you want to. I might be a little selfish, but not gonna lie, since I know about you being mortal again, I want you to spend the rest of your life with me. I love you too” she admitted and he breathed with relief.

“I would love that very much” he admitted. “I might not be a good person, but I promise, I'll be good for you, just like you wrote in our song” he swore and captured her lips again. They kept kissing for a while, until Jinu's stomach growled again. “Let's continue this conversation later. For now we should go get some food, I'm starving.”

“Fine” she gave him one last peck and stood up, then pulled him up. “Lead the way” she said, entwining their fingers. Jinu smiled, thinking he had never felt more free in his life.

[angel-tries-to-write]

Bisexual disasters

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Rating: General Pairing: Jacob Frye x Reader (not quite, can be platonic) Word count: 1501 Genre: fluff

In Victorian England, people who love differently, aren't really welcomed. Thankfully, the Rooks have different opinions.

Underground London would always follow its own rules. What was forbidden among the upper class, was common in places like this. It also meant it was fun, because nobles rarely knew how to have fun. The clock in this bar was showing almost eleven in the night, but you knew the real fun hadn't started yet. That night you wanted to take it slow, so you were sipping your ale when the others switched to something stronger already. You were fine with what you had, after all you wanted to get relaxed, not wrecked.

Apparently Jacob had similar plans, though he already had whisky, he was sipping it much slower than usual. But what didn't change was a bunch of omnipresent Rooks surrounding him, though the closest spots were taken by enamored young women who looked at the Assassin with adoration, they were drinking in his presence rather than drink alcohol like everyone else. You could also notice a group of men by the window, they were whispering and watching the scene with amusement. You assumed they were making fun of the girls and their loud gasps every time Jacob was flirting with one of them. And the more drunk he was getting, the more flirty he would become.

Suddenly one of the men from the distant group stood up, emptied his mug and approached Jacob. You could tell he was nervous.

“Boss, may I have a request?” he asked and Frye looked at him for a moment, then smirked.

“Ask whatever you want, lad” he answered and the poor guy got even more nervous. You observed it with curiosity.

“M-may I ask it privately? I mean, I...” he sighed. “I've lost a bet and I need to do something, but I don't want to lose my place among the Rooks” he explained with cheeks redder every moment. Jacob stood up and came close to the lad, then pulled him out of the prying ears. They talked for a brief moment, then Jacob approached the group by the window and he was rather upset. You had left your spot and moved closer to them, so you would be able to hear what they were talking about. The gang leader leaned on the table and looked at the young men.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, boss! We just wanted him to do something and confront his fears. We had no ill will, we swear, Rook's honor!” said one of them and the others nodded vigorously. Jacob looked at the lad, seeking for confirmation in his face. As soon as he had found it, the Assassin stepped back from the table, pulled the man close and kissed him shamelessly.

You couldn't believe your eyes. That huge flirt and womanizer was kissing a man. Unbelievable. But the more shocking was that no one around them actually cared. The guy's friends were shocked, but not offended, they were more surprised than disgusted. You couldn't take it anymore, you needed to leave, now. The sound of your chair moving rapidly drew more attention than Jacob's action, but you couldn't care less. You stormed outside, not bothering if someone saw you or not, you needed some air, you needed to calm down. Your head was spinning, your mind was a mess, and you didn't know what to think anymore.

Suddenly you heard footsteps behind your back, but you didn't turn around to see who it was. It's not like you had to, Jacob revealed himself pretty soon, when he called after you.

“(Y/n), what's wrong?” he asked. You didn't answer, only started to walk faster, then run. “(Y/n), wait!” he ran after you and soon he grabbed your hand, stopping you. “What happened? Why are you running away?” he asked, trying to understand what was going on.

“Why did you do that?” you asked instead.

“(Y/n), I...”

“Why would you do that? And so casually, like it was nothing, when we both know it's a big thing! You were not supposed to do that, then why did you do it?” you kept asking, not noticing the raise of your voice.

“What's gotten into you?”

“Just tell me. Please.” You looked at him with desperation in your eyes. You needed to know the answers.

“I just felt like it” he shrugged. “The boy is cute and he really should stop overthinking stuff.”

“Are you... do you... like... uh...” you tried to ask but the words kept stucking in your throat.

“Do I like men? Honestly, I don't know. It's all so wrong and messed up. But I think I do. And I like women too. It's confusing” he confessed. “But why did it upset you?”

“I'm sorry. It's not about you, it's about me” you admitted.

“What do you mean?”

“I... I understand this confusion. I've been feeling it my whole life. I like men, but there was always something drawing me to women either” you confessed and you could see Jacob's face changing from concern and confusion to understanding and relief. “When I saw you kissing that lad, I just couldn't take it anymore. All those feelings I've been trying to hide and get rid of through all my life just overwhelmed me.”

“Come here” Jacob opened his arms, offering you a hug. You hesitantly accepted his offer, but soon you had found peace in his embrace. “You have no idea how much it means to me. I have never met someone who would feel like I do.”

“Neither have I.”

“Can we go back to the pub?”

“Yes. I think I owe everyone an explanation.”

“Good point.”

You came back to the place you had left and the first thing you did was to find the lad Jacob had kissed. When you saw him miserably drinking his ale, you nearly ran there.

“Hey, I just wanted to say sorry for storming out like that. I can imagine you might have thought that it was your fault, but I swear it wasn't. You just helped me understand something about myself” you said smiling sheepishly and the guy smiled with relief.

“It's alright, miss (y/n). The Rooks have a lot of space for people who love differently and that's why I love this gang. So many people who don't judge and just let us be ourselves... It's nice”

“It is. But until tonight I was convinced I would always have to hide who I am”

“You have nothing to worry about” the lad's friend spoke. “In this gang either are the ones who love differently or we fully support those who do. Even the boss.”

“What do you mean?” you asked

“Jacob is not very discreet. It wasn't hard to figure out that he's into men as well as women. Of course, no one speaks loudly about it, but no one judges as well. You either accept it or leave the Rooks. That's a rule.”

“I'm surprised it's commonly known.”

“It is. Most of us are open about our preferences.”

“Well, I wish now I knew this earlier. I love like this either and I thought it's not something I should ever talk about.”

“We all did” some other guy spoke. “But once you're one of us, you can stop worrying about it.”

“Thanks.” You smiled with relief. After years of living in fear and shame, it felt nice to be in a supportive environment. You felt like you were freed from some shackles, and like you could finally be truly yourself.

A couple of days later, you were sitting in a pub with Jacob once again. But this time, both of you were having a great time, chatting about stuff. You were telling him a really funny story about one of your fights with Blighters, when suddenly you trailed off and forgot the rest of your words. Your attention was caught by a gorgeous woman, who's just entered the pub and you couldn't help but stare at her. Until you realized Jacob was laughing at you.

“I see your new identity suits you well” he joked.

“Oh, shut it. Did you forget how you almost fell off the roof last week, when you noticed a cute girl on the street?” you reminded him.

“And you were laughing so hard that you almost fell off the roof yourself.”

“She wasn't even that pretty.”

“Are you jealous?”

“Me? Jealous? I think you've had too much alcohol.” You shook your head.

“Oh my... wow...” he said and you thought he was teasing you further, but you noticed him looking above you. When you turned around, you saw a guy undressing, as if he was preparing to fight.

“Woah, he's hot” you commented and Jacob nodded.

“Not as hot as the girl you spotted, but indeed, he's quite attractive” he admitted.

“Is this how our relationship is going to look like? Drooling over attractive people and comparing our findings?” you half joked and Jacob shrugged.

“Are you complaining about that?”

“Not at all. Actually, I quite like that. Cheers.”

[angel-tries-to-write]

Demons of the night

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Rating: General Pairing: Jean Kirschtein x Mikasa Ackerman, Jean Kirschtein x Marco Bodt, Eren Jäger x Mikasa Ackerman Word count: 1281 Genre: angst

The war has ended. They can have a happy life now. But can they be truly happy knowing they both lost their soulmates?

A/N: Both Jean and Mikasa deserved better.

It was a really nice, sunny day, very peaceful and quiet. No titans in sight. Jean was lying on the soft grass, his eyes were closed and his lips curled softly in a small smile. He didn't remember the last time he was this relaxed, it must have been a long time ago. Suddenly he felt a slow movement by his side, the person lying next to him lifted their hand and caressed Jean's chest, opening his shirt and exposing the soft skin of his stomach. Jean shivered at the touch, his lips parted in delight. His companion leaned down and placed a slow kiss on his mouth. It would become more and more passionate, soon it turned into a full makeout session. Jean pulled back when he was out of breath and opened his eyes to look at his partner. The first thing he noticed were these beautiful light brown eyes, then the constellations of freckles and that amazing, warm smile. Marco was there, handsome as usual, sweet, warm and alive. Right by Jean's side, where he should always be. Jean smiled and pulled his beloved boyfriend closer to kiss him again.

But he felt nothing. His fingers in one moment held Marco's shirt, in other were empty. He smelled  smoke, dark and thick, his mouth instead of Marco's warm lips tasted ash and dust. Suddenly he wasn't on a grassy field anymore, no, he was in Trost. He was running through the ruined buildings, coughing violently from all this smoke, it was everywhere and didn't have any source. Until Jean saw him, saw cold and lifeless body of his best friend, his soulmate, the love of his life, and then he realized where this smoke was coming from: a huge funeral pyre. Hundreds of bodies were burning together and he couldn't even find Marco anymore. He was gone. His absence burned worse than the fire Jean stood dangerously close to.

                              _____________________________________

He sat up on the bed, all sweaty and panting. His face was wet with tears and his hair disheveled from tossing and turning. He looked around and it took him a long moment to figure out where he was. The room was still dark, so it was just a nightmare. Jean was in his own house, in his own bed, but also on his own. There was no one there, even though there was a second pillow, wrinkled and pressed in, clearly someone slept there. Jean stood up carefully, not sure how he felt physically, and he slowly left the room. There wasn't a single light on, but somehow he knew where to go.

The door to one room were opened. Inside everything was quiet and still, even the woman sitting on the armchair and watching the baby sleeping in the crib. Her eyes were glossy even in the darkness, her cheeks were wet and he could hear small sobs she would often let out.

“Mikasa?” he asked quietly, it was barely a whisper, but he couldn't say anything louder than that. His throat was dry and tight from all that crying. The woman looked at him and she didn't even have to say anything. He knew, he knew very well what happened and why she was there. Before he even took one step towards her, she stood up and left the baby's room. He followed her back to their bedroom, even though he didn't really felt like being there at that time, so soon after his nightmare.

“I just can't” she said quietly. “I can't Jean. I can't be happy anymore. I'm trying so hard, but I can't. I miss him so much” she sobbed and hugged herself in pain.

“I know. But what else we can do?” he asked, sitting next to her.

“I don't know, but I can't take it anymore. We have everything we've always dreamed for, we have peace, we have a family, but I still can't be happy.”

“Not everything” he sighed. “We don't have people we'd like to share this world with...”

She looked up at him, her cheeks glistened with tears, still flowing from her wide eyes.

“You mean...”

“That no matter how hard we try, we're never going to be happy. And no matter what, this hole you have in your heart will never stop aching” he sighed and pulled his hair in frustration. “I miss him every day, Mikasa. Every day for ten years. And every moment without him is as difficult as the first one.”

She hesitated at first, but put her arm on his shoulder. He looked at her for a moment, then pulled her in a hug. They sat in silence for a while, comforting each other until Mikasa spoke.

“Do you think they would want us to be happy? To just move on? To live a life they never had and carry their legacy?”

“Yes” he answered without hesitation. “Both Marco and Eren wanted the best for us, I'm sure.”

“Even... even though Eren did... what he did?”

“I'm talking about real Eren, not that monster he was turned into. The real Eren was our friend, he loved us all. He wasn't a genocidal maniac. Whoever it was, that certainly wasn't Eren. I refuse to believe it.”

“Does it help? Do you feel less guilty?”

“A little. I can't accept that he truly stood against us. Against everything we believe in. The real Eren, our friend, the love of your life... He would never do that. He would never disrespect Marco's legacy.”

“That sounds great. You might be right, actually.”

“Eren loved you, I'm sure of it. And if you love someone, you would do anything for that person. Anything to save them and make them happy.”

“Don't blame yourself. You know you couldn't do anything.”

“I could at least be there for him.”

“You would've died.”

“Maybe it would be for the better. I would rather die than live without him” he whispered, for the first time saying his thougths out loud. Life without Marco was meaningless. No matter how hard he tried to find some purpose, his thoughts would always go to his long lost love.

“I know how you feel. But someone has to change the world for the better. We can't give up, not yet. We have to make our boys proud” she smiled through tears. “And when our time comes, if any afterlife exists, we'll meet them again and tell them how many amazing things we did for them” she said, trying to stay positive, but she sobbed uncontrollably. “You said yourself that we don't really have a choice. We can either give up on life and dreams or try to move on.”

“That's right” Jean pulled away from Mikasa, took a handkerchief and blew his nose. “Moving on is difficult and it hurts so bad, but it's the best we can do. To make our boys proud” he smiled weakly.

“To make our boys proud” Mikasa echoed, wiping her eyes.

They knew they would never be happy, not without people they loved the most. They've lost so many friends, family members and just simply comrades, but most importantly, they've lost their soulmates. The loves of their lives. Both of them knew very well that their marriage wasn't something any of them wanted, but it was easier than living alone. It was easier to have someone who knew exactly how they felt, whose heart was being torn by the same pain over and over again. It bought them some comfort, to know they weren't alone with their suffering. That even if they lost their their love, their friend remained and was always ready to share their pain.

[angel-tries-to-write]

Song for reluctant heroes

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Rating: General Pairing: Jean Kirschtein x Marco Bodt Word count: 2074 Genre: fluff

Marco has enough of keeping his identity secret. He's not ashamed of being gay and he wants the world to know this. And he chooses a very unusual way to do so. However, Jean doesn't share his enthusiasm. Tied to NOM.

At some point of his career, Jean stopped remembering where, which and why they were performing. Whether it was a regular concert, a talk show, sports event, or even a charity event, he couldn't tell them apart, there were just too many of them. All he had to do was to practice the repertoire for the concert, show up, play, go home. Although it might seem boring when put in simple words like that, it definitely wasn't. For Jean the most important things of the nights like that were just the experience of absorbing the music with every fiber of his body and the amazing energy their fans shared during the show. The band members loved to go to the edge of the stage and touch people's hands whenever they could. This connection was something very special and there was nothing like it. They felt it since the very first seconds of their performances, when they would go on the stage and hear the words:

“Please, welcome, Attack on Titan!”

For Jean it was the moment to put the biggest smile on his face, look at the audience, then at his band mates, to finally start playing the practiced song. After the first number it was time to say a word to the audience. Usually Eren would do that, which meant he could zone out for a while and mind his business.

“Hello, hello, hello!” Eren yelled, walking closer to the edge of the stage. “How are you doing?” he asked, the crowd cheered in response. “There's something I have to tell you. Our friends from No Name couldn't join us today, but we promised we'll play a little tribute to them. I hope you'll enjoy it as much as we do.”

They started to play one of No Name's most recognizable songs: "Reluctant Heroes". Jean really liked it, so he put all his heart into playing it the best he could. He got lost in music so much, that it took him a while to notice something was off. It was not Eren who was singing, as everyone expected. Jean turned his head to look, because he couldn't believe it was...

“M-Marco?” he asked dumbfounded, staring at his boyfriend, who absolutely owned this stage. Marco's voice was so soothing and gentle, like it was made for ballads, it fit perfectly to the song's calm verses. Suddenly something hit Jean's back and he snapped out, turning around with annoyance. It was Armin, he threw something at him and now he mouthed something angrily. "Play"? Wha— OH. Jean completely didn't notice that he kept staring at Marco and stopped playing. He picked up his part, in the corner of his eye he saw Sasha and Connie, fighting hard to not laugh.

“It was like a nightmare and it's painful for me, cause nobody wants to die too fast” Marco's smooth voice flowed through the speakers and Jean felt a very strange feeling crawling down his spine. As if these lyrics spoke not even to his heart, but through it, piercing it with a sensation, that in other time and place this line felt so real. That someone — not just someone, but the most important person to him — died too fast and he was this reluctant hero. He could see his face. He could hear his voice.

He snapped out of it as the song has ended. The feeling faded away as unexpectedly as it came and didn't stay in his memory for too long. How could it, when right after the last tunes silenced, the audience cheered and Connie was talking something to them, Marco approached Jean and asked:

“Will you sing the next one with me?”

He didn't know what to say. The next song they were about to play was an extremely sensual love song for duet that Mikasa wrote with Eren. Singing it would mean implying or even showing things they not necessarily wanted to be public.

“I don't know, are you sure?” he asked quietly, far from the microphone.

“Positive” Marco nodded, also moving the mic away. “I'm tired of living in lie. I want to come out. Today. Now. I want the whole world to know that I have the best boyfriend ever” he smiled. Damn it, he knew what he was doing, Jean had a soft spot for this smile.

“I don't know” Jean hesitated, weighing his words. “It might really harm your public image” he pointed out. Reiss was out of picture, but his followers and supporters remained, doing such thing could add fuel to their fire.

“Jean, this whole event is made for people like us. Especially to help the young ones. When you were a kid, you would love to see such an example. You would love to have a role model who is like you.” Marco wasn't even asking any questions, he was simply stating things as facts. “You can be such person for the others.”

Jean took a deep breath and nodded. His boyfriend was right. When he was younger and hated himself for being different, he would love to see someone openly gay, but shown in a good way, so little Jean could see it was completely normal. He tuned his guitar.

“I'm ready” he said bravely. Marco gave him the biggest and the most beautiful smile in the world and Jean knew it was the right decision. His boyfriend turned around to announce the song.

“The next song we're going to play is very important to me” Marco said, going closer to the audience. “Huge kudos to our lovely Mikasa, who put the feelings into right words, and to Eren, who found the perfect rhythm and music. I hope they won't be mad at me for borrowing their song to perform it with my special person” he said looking at his friends.

“Are the drinks on you?” Eren asked and the crowd laughed.

“Yeah” Marco answered after a tiny moment of hesitation.

“Then feel free to do whatever makes you happy” Eren shrugged and the audience laughed louder.

“I'll just note that I don't need any bribes to let you sing” Mikasa said, clearly disappointed with her boyfriend's behavior.

“Me neither, I just took an opportunity to get free drinks.”

“I don't know if that's rude or smart” Connie spoke up.

“Probably both” Sasha laughed. “Judging by Mikasa's face, definitely both.”

“Guys, I'm trying to sing here” Marco said, slightly annoyed.

“Try harder” Connie half joked and started to play. The others joined him and there was no point trying to argue.

They played hundreds of concerts, yet Jean never felt so scared and nervous. He wanted it all to be perfect, therefore the thought of messing up was frightening. He took a deep breath and looked at Marco. He focused on his voice and tried to forget about thousands of people around them and millions probably watching the transmission. They didn't matter. Only Marco and his amazing, smooth singing voice. When it was his turn, Jean did his best to sing it well. He didn't have as low, deep and sexy voice as Eren did, a voice that could make his partner shiver (as well as all his fangirls), but he knew Marco was going to like it. So with the lyrics of that love song, he expressed his own feelings for his boyfriend. It was a truly magical experience, just as if the whole world was gone and the two of them and that song were the only thing existing. He could understand now why Eren was forgetting himself so often and would get too close to Mikasa, or even finish a song with a passionate kiss. In the heat of the moment there wasn't much room for thinking and Jean could feel that. So he did the same dumb thing Eren kept doing: the moment the song has ended, he grabbed his boyfriend by the collar and kissed him.

The band was shocked. They never expected that these two, who valued their privacy the most, would ever do something like that in public. The crowd went crazy, screaming and cheering for their favorite couple, but neither Jean nor Marco would hear them, both were too occupied with each other. Finally they broke the kiss and Jean realized what happened. They weren't officially out and they kissed. It was the end of both their careers, the whole world was going to know they were lying, they didn't deserve their fans, fame and successes, it was total disaster, they should never—

Marco knew exactly what was happening in Jean's mind. He's seen that frightened face too many times and it was clear that his boyfriend was having an anxiety attack, so he had to keep him from going into full panic mode. He gently cupped his face and stroke his cheeks with his thumbs.

“It's okay, Jean. I'm here. Nothing is wrong. You did amazing and I'm proud of you, chéri” he said quietly. Jean wasn't a fan of pet names, he disliked them. But sometimes it was the only thing that could bring him back to earth, as it would shift his focus from anxiety to annoyance.

“I hope we won't regret that” Jean closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I don't care what happens next. As long as we're together, anything can happen. But now, do you need a moment to calm down?” Marco asked and Jean looked around to see his friends looking at him with deep concern. Except for Eren, who talked some nonsense and kept the audience occupied. It didn't mean he didn't care, he just did what had to be done and made people focus on him, not on his friend. But everyone knew he was concerned, he just wasn't showing it.

“I'll be fine” Jean smiled and kissed his boyfriend on the nose. Marco smiled back and took a few steps away.

“Are you okay?” Sasha asked quietly. Jean nodded and smiled softly, appreciating the concern.

“Awesome, I started to run out of jokes. I'm a singer, not a stand up performer” Eren said, making the audience laugh. It might have sounded insensitive, but they knew each other for years, they could tell it was pretty normal.

“Hey, Eren?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for having my back.”

That was unexpected. Everyone thought they would rather be at each other's throats than stay civil. Eren opened his mouth, probably to say something stupid, but he didn't. Instead he did something smart.

“No problem. That's what friends are for.”

They finished the concert without further interruptions. On the next day all the media was crazy about the kiss. It was hard to blame them, it happened between two of the most popular and beloved people in the world. A week later Marco gave an interview where he answered all the questions about them, talked honestly about his identity, discrimination and his relationship with Jean. This interview was extremely important for Marco, so he had chosen the internet television, one he could more or less trust that his words won't be twisted and used against him. And they didn't fail, portraying the interview exactly how he wanted. It was a mutual gain, Marco was able to come out the way he felt comfortable, which was extremely important in his field of work, and the media made a lot of money selling his story, they were also shown as trustworthy, as they didn't twist it into a cheap drama.

Jean quickly found out that everything he was scared of was unimportant. His life didn't change at all after that concert and since his coming out as bisexual in his social media, he received tons of warm and supportive messages. Of course there was some hate, but he realized he couldn't care less about it. He would just block every hater instantly, because he didn't want to waste his time and energy on them. He just wanted to focus on good people and on setting an example for his young fans. He opened up and told his story, how years of internalized homophobia almost ruined his life and relationship. He didn't want anyone else to go through this. Marco was right, such role models were needed and very important. Someone who kids could look up to and make their lives better. Jean never had such person growing up. So he decided to become one for his fans.

[angel-tries-to-write]

Paint

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Rating: Explicit Pairing: Jean Kirschtein x Marco Bodt Word count: 2157 Genre: smut

Marco loves to watch Jean paint. Why wouldn't he want to have a special portrait then? Tied to “The Name of Music”.

It was the first time in ages when Marco was able to leave his office earlier, no counting the times he was sick and his friends had to forcibly remove him from his own office, even though they were the one working for him. Since he was elected, he struggled a lot with self care. He was slowly turning into a people pleaser and worked hard to prove he deserved all the trust his voters put in him. But when Hitch pointed that out loud, he started wondering if he maybe pushed himself too hard. After all, people chose him for a reason and he felt he slowly started to lose his goal. And who was he without it? Just another politician, nothing special. So he decided to put more thought in taking care of himself and go back to his old habits of bringing everyone comfort. He started talking loud about the importance of mental health, about unrealistic goals and pressure people were putting on themselves and how it was destructive to both individuals and society. He decided to set new standards, to be a role model for people, and it worked so well. He gained even more love and even his opponents couldn't say much about it, because his narrative was clear: that system doesn't work, it's hurtful and it needs to be changed, because happier people were building a better society, worked more efficiently and were making the country prosper. It was hard to argue with that in a sensible way.

So he decided to take a break and cut his work hours to spend some time with his boyfriend. Jean came back from another tour just a few days ago and he was staying for a while. They should really use that time well, with their tight schedules it was difficult to make some time and long distance relationship could be tiring sometimes. Marco even started to have intrusive thoughts that maybe this wasn't what Jean wanted. On his way home, deep down he worried that maybe, since Jean didn't expect him to be back this early, Marco might catch him in their bed with a cute girl. He would never say it out loud to anyone, Jean once punched him for doubting his loyalty, but Marco knew that anxiety wasn't rational. It would create unreal scenarios and fixate on them, driving him crazy. So he tried to keep it down, to cling onto logic and explain to himself that it was only in his brain.

But only when he stepped through the doorstep of their apartment, he was able to chase away these thoughts. There was one particular thing that made him sure Jean was all alone, very busy, but alone: the omnipresent smell of paint. Jean was painting very rarely, he didn't have much time for that, but when he did, Marco loved to watch him create. So he quietly took his steps to Jean's workshop and the view took his breath away for a moment. His beloved boyfriend was there in his old sweatpants, his chest was bare, marked with paint. He was kneeling on the floor with paint brushes in his mouth, pallette in one hand and the currently used brush in the other, and he was just painting. Marco could watch him for hours, just stare and marvel at the act of creation. Sometimes Jean liked to work with his canvas lying horizontally, he claimed the paint was spreading better this way. He was completely focused on his work, unaware of Marco's presence. It was probably good, because he looked so hot, that Marco instantly felt his arousal rising. His clothes started to feel tight and uncomfortable, his mouth watered and an interesting idea came to his mind.

“Hey” he said quietly, drawing his boyfriend's attention.

“You're early” Jean said in response, looking up at his partner.

“Yeah, I decided to spend some time with you” Marco answered, loosing up his tie. “Unless you’re too busy.”

“No, actually I’ve just finished” Jean stood up and wiped his brushes. “It just has to dry. I’ll go shower and we can do whatever you would like to do.”

“Actually… I thought that maybe we could do something else.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’d like you to paint me.”

“That’s your idea? You know it’s boring, right?” Jean made sure his boyfriend knew what he was getting himself into.

“Don’t worry, watching you work is entertaining enough” Marco smiled, taking off his jacket and tie.

“Alright, if you really want to, you can even choose a pose” the artist said, preparing a new canvas. His partner approached the fancy chair Jean used sometimes as a prop, it was styled to resemble old furniture and quite comfortable, perfect for sitting for hours and posing. Then he started to unbutton his shirt, earning just a raised brow from Jean.

“What? Is there something you don’t like?” he asked teasingly, opening also his belt and pants.

“On the contrary, but I’m worried where you want to take it” Jean answered, trying to stay calm. It was the last thing he expected today, but not unwelcome. He got ready himself as Marco proceeded to strip off his clothes and put them away from paint. He felt himself getting nervous, but he had no idea why. He had seen Marco naked on multiple occasions, they were dating for quite a long time, but art had always been something extremely intimate to him, even more intimate than sex. And having his boyfriend there, in his private space where he could be vulnerable and stripped of all barriers and masks, where he was fully himself… it was something new. He obviously painted Marco before, but usually from a photo or his memory. Never like this. It was making him really nervous.

Marco experienced similar things. There was a difference between undressing in the bedroom, bathroom, or in some other places, and here, in this small atelier. But he had always wanted to do something like this, so after a moment of hesitation he slid down his boxers, remaining completely naked.

“Are you sure you want this?” Jean asked with concern and Marco smiled, feeling his nervousness melt away a little. Jean was always so kind, caring and thoughtful, it was one of the reasons he fell so hard for him.

“Positive” he turned around confidently and sat down on the chair, leaning comfortably on it. Jean took a sharp breath and bit his lower lip.

“Brush your hair” he directed with a husky tone. Marco smirked and lifted one of his hands to slowly ruffle his slicked back raven hair. Jean swallowed hard, watching his boyfriend sitting confidently on the chair with a sly smirk on his face, piercing gaze and that toned body. The lifted hand accentuated the muscles of his chest and stomach, as well as his nipples, hardened from the cold. The other hand rested on his thigh, his legs were spread comfortably and it was hard to miss the erected cock, standing proudly and shamelessly. This man was gorgeous, incredibly sexy and confident, there was no slightest shade of pink on his face, like he was completely fine with posing for such a portrait. Jean loved him so much.

“Like this?” Marco asked seductively, knowing fully well what he was doing to his partner.

“Perfect” Jean whispered, voice stuck in his throat. He prepared the canvas and looked at Marco again. “So this is the exact portrait you want to have?” he asked to make sure his boyfriend knew what he was doing.

“You don't like it?”

“I never said that. I just need to know if you really thought this through.”

“I wouldn't phrase it exactly this way, but why not? Besides, I can't help it, you look so hot when you paint.”

“Do you want me to paint you or fuck you, because now I'm confused.”

“We can do both.”

“No, we can't.”

“If you say so” Marco sighed with slight disappointment. “You can paint me and we can discuss the other suggestion later” he smirked. Jean shook his head and took his phone. He took a quick photo for a better reference and started to do what Marco asked for. If this was really what he wanted, Jean couldn't refuse him, so he got to work. He still wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, after all, painting was not a quick process and it was going to take at least several hours until it’s ready, but at least he needed Marco just for the basic sketch and later, for the details. Which meant he could use the remaining time in a better way. A smirk appeared on Jean’s lips when he came up with this idea. He did his best to do the right base for the rest of his painting, but it still took some time.

“Looks like you’re tired already” he said playfully, noticing that Marco looked quite uncomfortable. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea.

“I’m not tired” he protested. “But I admit, it’s getting uncomfortable. Maybe I should reconsider this. It’s a pleasure to watch you paint, of course, but I wonder how much time I have left until this starts to be painful” he said, pointing at his crotch.

“We can do something about that.”

“You said–”

“Yes, I did. But we’ll have to wait until the first layer of paint dries anyway. Painting is a long process and you don’t have to be present in every step of it. Once I’m done, I won’t need you here until I start to work on details. Which means we have some time for each other” Jean explained, not stopping painting. Marco didn’t say anything, just watched his boyfriend, thinking about what he said, but he decided to wait until the process was done, to see what he had in mind.

Finally Jean put his brushes away and took a rag to wipe his hands. The first layer was done and they had to wait until it dries to continue working on the painting. It meant they could at least have some fun in the meantime. With this in mind, he approached his model.

“Have you finished?” Marco asked, watching his boyfriend carefully.

“For now, yes. But it’s going to take even a few days until it’s finished and I don’t want you to see it when it’s not ready. So if you don’t mind, I kindly ask you to not look at this painting” Jean answered, standing between Marco’s legs and forcing him to tilt his head back and look up.

“I assume you know what we could do in the meantime?” he asked with a playful smirk.

“You can say that” Jean said and leaned down to support himself on the chair back, which made his lips end up just a few inches from Marco’s, who wasn’t wasting his time, he closed the distance and kissed his partner. They remained in this position for a while, until Jean moved with his kisses on Marco’s neck.

“Jean…”

“Mmm?”

“Don’t tease me too much, okay?”

“As you wish” Jean muttered against his skin and kept kissing him, leaving a wet trail of kisses until he knelt in front of the chair.

Marco bit his lip with anticipation and excitement, but then he immediately opened his mouth, gasping loudly when Jean licked his cock. Such a long lasting erection made him sensitive to the slightest touch. He put his hand on his partner’s head, moaning softly with every suck. Jean was really careful and gentle, fully aware that he might very easily hurt his boyfriend and he did best not to, after all his goal was to cause pleasure, not harm. It was funny, a few years prior he would be disgusted at the thought of even kissing another man and now he was on his knees for one, doing his best to make him happy. And he was thrilled to do so, he loved to watch Marco enjoy blowjobs this much. So even though initially reluctant, he embraced his sexuality and discovered there was nothing wrong with sucking dick, unlike he used to think. So he did his best to make his boyfriend feel good, and he knew that with every lick, suck, and the slightest movement, Marco was closer and closer to his climax. He could feel it by the tension of the muscles of his thighs, by his shallow, uneven breaths and by his fingers tightened firmly on Jean's hair. And it didn't take long for him to come with Jean’s name falling from his lips. He leaned back on the chair, breathing heavily.

“You were amazing as usual” he said, giving his partner a look of bliss and exhaustion.

“Want to move to bed and continue there?” Jean asked with a smile, satisfied with the result of his actions.

“I hoped you would ask.”

[angel-tries-to-write]

Siblings will be siblings

Fandom: Encanto Rating: General Pairing: None Word count: 2427 Genre: family fluff

Just pure, plotless, family fluff starring Madrigal triplets.

That day was exceptionally peaceful, but no wonder. After the disaster that nearly tore the family apart, the Madrigals decided that two days in the week should be resting days focused on family and self care. And it worked quite well, they would spend these days on talking, playing games and mostly having fun and bonding. Although some chores still had to be done, like making food, even if Julieta would never call it a chore. She enjoyed cooking, not just because it was her gift, but because she considered it relaxing. So when the rest of the family was goofing around, she was preparing a dinner, humming happily. She almost didn't notice the figure lurking shyly at the entrance of the kitchen.

“Something happened, Bruno?” she asked, letting her brother know she was aware of his presence.

“No, um... I mean... I just thought... maybe... maybe you need some help?” he asked nervously, coming closer. His crouched posture was clearly showing that he still wasn't quite used to being a valid family member and he often tried to act like he was invisible, which was heavily frowned upon by Mirabel, who would do anything to make her uncle feel appreciated. A lot like her mother, who always enjoyed her brother's presence, no matter what happened.

“That would be great” Julieta smiled warmly. Bruno smiled back, straightened up and rushed to the sink to wash his hands, but she stopped him softly. “But I have two conditions. You need to take this off” she pointed at his ruana “and you need to tie your hair up. Please” she added in case her gentle voice wasn't convincing enough.

“Uhhh...” Bruno hesitated, grasping at the cloth that was providing him comfort.

“I know why you're so attached to it, but you need to be comfortable and careful here. Besides, you don't have to hide. It's just the two of us here” she placed her hand on his shoulder and looked at him with a reassuring expression. Bruno looked at his sister with hesitation, took a deep breath and nodded, then he did what she asked for.

“Alright” he took his ruana off, folded it neatly and put away. Underneath he wore the new, purple shirt Mirabel made for him and he really loved it. Without a word, Julieta handed out a hair tie she pulled out of nowhere.

“I have three daughters, hair ties are something I have lots of” she explained, seeing his puzzled expression.

“I see” he hummed and tied his hair up. “I feel weird. Do I look dumb?”

“I don't care how you look, all I care about is that we won't get your fabulous hair inside our dinner.”

“Fabulous? I think you've mistaken me for Isabela” Bruno chuckled lightly.

When he was ready, his sister gave him something to do and they worked in silence for a while. It was quite unusual for Julieta to have someone to help her, usually the family would just wait for dinner in peace, they would only set the table and then do the dishes after the meal. But the food making process was all on Julieta. Not that she needed help, she didn't, actually, she was doing pretty fine. She simply couldn't say no to anything Bruno asked for. She was painfully aware that her lack of support caused him to leave, she understood it only when her daughter almost shared the same fate. So she found herself desperately trying to make up for the lost time and prevent the situation from happening ever again. Maybe she should have been more vocal with her support, less passive, maybe she could have prevented all of that, maybe—

Julieta bit down a groan and a curse when she accidentally burned herself.

“Everything alright?” Bruno asked with concern.

“It's nothing. I just should stay focused on what I'm doing” she answered, rinsing her hand with cold water.

“What's on your mind?”

“It's just... I wonder if I could have done something to change the past. You were lost for so long and I've almost lost my child, because I couldn't help you. The thought that you were convinced you don't belong in this family, or that you were causing bad things happen... I feel so guilty, I should have done something” she confessed. Bruno approached his sister and hesitantly put his arm around her shoulders.

“Hey, hey, hey, you're not to blame here. I mean, we all are, but don't be hard on yourself. I should have told you what I saw. I should have warned you. I... I should have just trusted you. I wanted to protect Mirabel, but I didn't think for a moment, that I didn't have to do it alone, that maybe you as her mother would know better what to do” he smiled weakly. Julieta finally looked at him and pulled him in a hug.

“I missed you so much. There wasn't a day when I wouldn't think about you.”

“I missed you too. I spent so long convinced that you hate me...”

“I could never hate you.”

“I know. I just... I think it was easier to think so already than give myself a fake hope in case I was right. You know, I was used to everyone always assuming the worst.”

“I'm sorry. You should never feel this way. It was never your fault bad things were happening. I should've stood up for you more often.”

“It's alright. What matters is that we're together once again and right now we should probably focus on cooking” Bruno pointed out with a soft smile.

“Right... Just one more squeeze” Julieta hugged her brother tighter before letting go of him.

“You know, it feels weird to be close to the family again, after so many years, but Mirabel is so dedicated to making me feel better that I can't even try to think I don't belong here without having her on my back. She's worse than Dolores, almost like she's reading my mind, you know?”

“She can be pretty stubborn and determined. I guess it runs with the family” Julieta chuckled.

“Does it?”

“She's so much like our mamá.”

“Now that you pointed it out... You might be right.”

“A lot like her tío too.”

“Okay, no, I don't know where you got this idea from...”

“She was willing to do anything for our family. No matter how difficult or even impossible it seemed. I'm seeing some resemblance here. And she's a big softie with an even bigger heart, just like you.”

“Hey, have some respect for the scariest person in this house” Bruno joked. “I can give you the most terrifying prophecy you've ever heard!”

“Oh no! What possibly could it be?” Julieta asked with a very obvious fake fear.

“Your soup... will be too salty! Mwahahahaha!” he said and both of them burst out laughing.

“Jokes? Without me? I'm offended” Pepa spoke suddenly, they hadn't even noticed her coming.

“This is our kitchen party, get out or get to work” Bruno said lightly.

“Sorry, but this is Pepa-free zone. Did you forget that you nearly burnt down the house the last time you tried to cook?” Julieta teased her.

“It was twenty years ago and you still don't want to let me near the kitchen” Pepa complained, sitting on the chair and crossing her arms, unhappy about the situation.

“I have a valid reason to do so.”

“Well, stop having fun without me then.”

“We're not just having fun, this is called cooking and you're not allowed to do so.”

“Give her something easy to do. I'll keep my eye on her” Bruno suggested, not wanting his sister to feel excluded.

“You need supervision yourself and you expect me to let you supervise Pepa? Have you forgotten that the moment I let you two off my sight, the hell breaks loose?” Julieta asked, raising her eyebrow. She had too much experience with her siblings and their ideas.

“Come on, Juli, it was a long time ago. We're grown ups now” Pepa whined. “I really want to help you.”

“Alright, alright. I'll give you something so easy that even you won't be able to ruin” Julieta sighed and gave up. For a moment they all worked in silence, focused on their tasks, until Pepa spoke up again.

“It's nice to see you this relaxed, Bruno” she pointed out. “I don't remember the last time I saw you like this. Usually you try to act like you didn't exist. Which is sad, if you ask me, I like to see you being comfortable.”

“I could say the same thing. I don't remember the time you were upset and didn't cause a blizzard. It never happened” Bruno noticed the absence of unwanted weather in the kitchen.

“Let's just say that your advice really worked. Embracing my emotions gave me a better control over them and now I can feel everything without the risk of flooding the house” Pepa chuckled. “Maybe if I had listened to you earlier, I wouldn't have been the main reason we never talked about you” she furrowed her brows and a cloud started to form above her.

“Pepa, I'm begging you, don't rain on our dinner” Julieta waved her hand, chasing the cloud away.

“Sorry, sorry.”

“It's alright. There are good outcomes of that” Bruno smiled, trying to cheer her up.

“Like what?”

“Like Camilo thinking I was seven feet tall” he said and Pepa snorted.

“Alright, that was quite funny. So was his face when he realized you're actually shorter than both of us and not nearly as intimidating as he thought.”

“I bet it was priceless. I wish I paid attention to him then” Bruno chuckled.

“I glanced very briefly, but Felix took a better look and he told me everything later. We laughed at that for long” she snickered, remembering the situation.

“Oh, please, you know Camilo always liked to perform. I bet he just wanted to scare Mirabel and added some of his ideas to the description” Julieta shook her head, defending her nephew.

“Why are you always on his side? I thought we weren't supposed to play favorites?” Pepa asked with amusement.

“I'm just saying how it is. Besides, the kids are playing favorites, why can't we?”

“Because they're kids.”

“Half of them are adults.”

“Details.”

“Wait, who is playing favorites?” Bruno asked with surprise, he had no idea what his sisters were talking about.

“Everyone. And you're winning, by the way” Pepa answered, only half joking.

“What?”

“You're everyone's favorite tío, Bruno.”

“That's impossible.”

“It actually makes sense” Julieta started to consider what her sister said. “You put family first like all of them, you love animals like Antonio, you love performing like Camilo, you enjoy interesting stories like Dolores, who really adores your telenovelas, you like to play pranks like Isabela, and you're competitive like Luisa. And Mirabel, well, it's kind of obvious. My point is, they all love you, Bruno” she explained. “Even if you don't think it's possible, it's true.”

“Like I said, you're the kids' favorite tío” Pepa agreed with her sister. “Which makes me sad, because, not gonna call names, but some of them would choose someone else over their own parents, but I guess it's not important.”

“It's not true, you're just being dramatic” Julieta rolled her eyes.

“Me? Dramatic? I'm never being dramatic” Pepa protested, being offended by such a suggestion.

“You are dramatic right now” Bruno deadpanned. “And Julieta is right, your kids would never choose anyone over you.”

“You're just saying so to calm me down and avoid unwanted weather changes, aren't you?” she asked, unamused.

“Of course not. I'm convinced it's true” he firmly denied. Pepa looked carefully at her brother, who was calm and confident, he didn't act like he was caught lying. He was never a good liar and it was pretty easy to tell if he was telling the truth or not.

“Well then, I really hope you're not mistaken” she said finally.

“Of course I'm not, why would I be? You don't believe in your own children? Or in yourself?”

“Can we not have a conversation about my self esteem right now?”

“Alright, I'll wait until you can rain without ruining our food.”

“Bruno!”

“What?”

Pepa looked like she wanted to say something mean, but she didn't. Fights never lead to anything good and she didn't want to pointlessly hurt her siblings. She took a deep breath in and out, just like Camilo or Felix would tell her to do so.

“I'm glad to have you back. I actually missed your honesty and incredible observation skills. Even if what you say is sometimes hard to hear, it's important to be said” she smiled softly.

“That's very mature of you to say” Julieta noticed, half-jokingly. “Never thought you have that in yourself.”

“Gee, thanks. I thought we're past this.”

“Relax, Pepi. You know I'm not serious. I just want to exploit a little the fact that you actually can control the weather and you won't unexpectedly cause a tornado the moment someone says something you don't like. Just let me be the mean sister for once.”

“Señorita perfecta Julieta wants to be mean? This can't be” Pepa gasped with a fake shock.

“What? Isabela is having fun not being perfect, I'm allowed too.”

“She's got a point” Bruno agreed with a small smile. “We've all changed and learned a lot, let her be mean if she wants to.”

“Fine. I guess it's "let's all hate Pepa" club.”

“It's not, stop being so dramatic. You know we love you and we would never trade you for anything” Julieta leaned down and smooched her sister's cheek.

“Alright, alright. Maybe I am dramatic” Pepa smiled, cheered up. “I'm just a little jealous that you've always been the perfect one and you also had a better relationship with Bruno” she sighed.

“Excuse me? I was stuck in the kitchen or helping people, when you two were having fun. I was always so jealous of you” Julieta protested.

“I was jealous too, none of you were the omen of bad luck, you have wonderful husbands and amazing children. I have no one” Bruno said with bitterness in his voice.

“You have us” Pepa opposed quickly.

“You know what I mean.”

“You don't need a spouse and children to be happy” Julieta claimed firmly. “You are just as special as everyone in this family.”

Bruno smiled softly, looking at his sisters with love and gratefulness.

“It's good to be back.”

[angel-tries-to-write]

No Miracle

Fandom: Encanto Rating: Teen and up Pairing: None Word count: 1520 Genre: angst with no happy ending

 Bad ending AU aka what if Casita didn't save Mirabel.

Even in the worst dreams none of them could even imagine a situation like this. Their whole house was in ruin, their beloved Casita kicked them out in the last act of despair. Even facing its own destruction, the house cared about them deeply. They would be impressed if only they didn't have more urgent problems and the first of which was to make sure everyone was alright.

“Mirabel!” Julieta called for her youngest daughter, hoping so much that she was alright. “Has anyone seen Mirabel?!”

“Julieta! Come, quick!” she suddenly heard her sister's scared voice, but she didn't move, still looking around. “Julieta!” Pepa's voice was so distraught that she had to go and check what happened. She assumed it was nothing serious anyway.

Until she saw Camilo sitting on the ground with a blood stain on his shirt.

“I'll be fine, mama, it's just a scratch” he smiled, his lip was also split. He must have gotten hurt when he rushed to save the candle and despite that, he still was brushing it off to calm his mother down. Julieta hoped it was indeed nothing much and carefully examined his injuries. Turned out she was right.

“It's not a deep wound. It's bleeding, but not too heavily. Nothing serious” she stated calmly, trying to reason with her sister, who was on the verge of tears. Even the always calm Félix looked shaken, seeing his son like this. But he managed to think straight and quickly provided bandages, which Julieta used to dress her nephew's wound.

“Thanks” Camilo stood up as soon as she was done. “Hey, at least I'm going to have a cool scar” he joked. Pepa hugged him tight, unable to control herself anymore.

“I was so scared! Don't do that again!” she yelled, holding onto her son for dear life.

“Julieta!” Agustín called his wife and so she stopped paying attention to her sister immediately. Her husband had his arms wrapped around their oldest daughter, who was wincing and clutching her hand to her chest.

“What happened?” Julieta asked with concern, approaching them.

“I think I sprained my wrist when I fell” Isabela explained as she hesitantly let her mother check on the injury. It hurt a lot, she was holding back tears and either she wasn't as good as Camilo, or Julieta just knew because she was her mother.

“It's not sprained, it's just twisted. We have to wrap it up tight. You'll be okay, mija” she smiled and proceeded to wrap her daughter's hand with a bandage. “Anyone else is injured?” she asked, looking around. Suddenly Dolores approached them, but she was looking in the other direction.

“Is that... tío Bruno?” she asked loud enough to get everyone's attention. Julieta and Pepa immediately turned around, noticing the person Dolores was looking at. It was indeed their long lost brother, kneeling in the ruins of their house. They screamed his name and ran to hug him. Pepa was first to reach him, but Julieta froze when she heard him crying. And she saw something she didn't want to see. Blood. Oh no. No.

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry” Bruno whispered, not really reacting to his sisters. Pepa kneeled next to him and gasped. He had the burnt candle in one hand.

And the cracked and blood stained round glasses they knew so well.

“No...” Julieta whispered, approaching a pile of ruins with heavy heart.

“I wish I could see that future. I wish I could prevent it” Bruno sobbed, his head was lowered, hidden behind his black hair. Julieta barely held back her own tears when she started digging in the debris. She was so scared of what she might find there. And she was right.

A hand. A small hand, dirty and bloody.

No.

“NO!” she screamed, digging more frantically. Her husband was by her side in seconds, helping her, even though he was shaking. They knew. They both knew.

“Please, please, please” Agustín whispered as they uncovered white blouse, black hair and the rest of the small and broken body covered in dust and blood.

“No, no, no, no, no!” Julieta pushed the hair back, to see the face. Still and lifeless. “Mirabel!” she screamed, checking for any signs of life. But found nothing. “Mirabel!” she called again, pulling her daughter up with inhumane strength. She checked again. Still nothing. And no chance of changing that state. The amount of blood pooling from Mirabel's head was a clear sign of a deadly wound. Julieta screamed again and it was the most terrifying sound anyone could ever hear. A scream of a grieving mother.

Pepa hugged Bruno tight and started crying on his shoulder when she realized what happened. He let go of the candle and hesitantly wrapped his arm around his sister, forgetting about any insecurities. Isabela and Luisa held each other right, not hiding tears anymore. Félix hugged both his sons, trying to stay strong for them. Dolores took Abuela's hand, even though she didn't have super sensitive hearing anymore, her aunt's scream still hurt her ears and feelings. And Alma... she was reliving her trauma again. In mourning Julieta she saw herself, fifty years earlier, when she had lost her beloved husband. And the story repeated itself. She was so scared that it might happen, that she actually caused this to happen. She tore her family apart because of fear. She wasted the second chance she was given.

And just like fifty years earlier, a mysterious light appeared. It came out of nowhere, maybe fell from the sky, and started to swirl around Bruno's hand. Over Mirabel's broken glasses. And they started to shine, green turned to gold. Suddenly Dolores covered her ears with a grimace, a cloud appeared above Pepa and it started snowing, and Isabela made a completely black rose. Their miracle was back. But nothing else changed. Their house didn't rebuild itself. And worse, Mirabel didn't open her eyes. She remained still and lifeless.

“The gifts are back!” Alma yelled with hope. “Quick, Julieta—”

“These are no gifts” Bruno spoke. He gently pushed Pepa away and stood up, ready to confront his mother. “It was never a miracle. It was a trade” he said with a broken voice, holding Mirabel's glasses like a dearest treasure. “Fifty years ago we were given it, because our padre sacrificed himself so we could live. Today Mirabel did the same” he pointed out, choking back sobs. “We were so wrong. So wrong.”

“What do you mean? You think...”

“I think it was not a blessing like we always thought, mama. And that some things are unavoidable. I left to protect Mirabel and it changed nothing. I knew if I told you that in my vision she was standing in front of a ruined house, you would never accept that. You would try to get rid of her to protect the magic. But the magic didn't need your protection. It needed an offering. Mirabel wasn't granted a gift, because she was the next offering. She was the price we had to pay for using the magic” Bruno explained. “This is why I could never see this moment. It had to be a sacrifice. Selfless. For the good of our family.”

“Just like Pedro...” Alma gasped. “If I only knew...”

“We weren't supposed to know.”

“It was all my fault.”

“We all are to blame” Isabela spoke suddenly. She looked like mess for the first time in her life. And she couldn't care less. “Mirabel was right. We were too focused on the magic and the miracle to see what was important. To see that we can't be happy as a family if we aren't happy as individuals. We should have known that magic always comes with price” she approached her mother, who still held her youngest child and sobbed uncontrollably. Isa kneeled down and hugged her mother and her youngest sister. The area immediately covered with black roses, symbols of Isabela's grief after the loss of Mirabel.

Luisa followed her older sister and joined the rest of the family without a word. Antonio did the same thing. He loved his cousin more than anything.

“I don't want that stupid gift. I want Mirabel back” Antonio sobbed, touching his cousin fearfully.

“Yeah. And a house? We don't need a house” Camilo agreed with his brother and kneeled next to him. “We need you, Mirabel” he said quietly. The rest of the family joined as well with the last being Alma.

“You're the real gift, kid. Not some magic. Don't leave us, not yet. Not like that” Bruno whispered, letting his mother take his hand for comfort.

“Open your eyes” Alma pleaded. “I was so wrong. I'm sorry, I'm terribly sorry. If this is the price for a miracle, we don't want it. All we need and want is to have our girl back.”

But their prayers remained without answer. The deed was done. The price was paid. And there was no refunds. At least they didn't have to pretend they were okay, because they knew they weren't. And they would never be again.

[angel-tries-to-write]

It’s okay to be gay

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Rating: General Pairing: Jean Kirschtein x Marco Bodt Word count: 3880 Genre: fluff, family fluff

Jean knew he couldn’t hide his relationship with Marco forever. He also couldn’t hide who he was. But he had no idea what his parents were thinking about it and it scared him. Tied to “The Name of Music”.

Jean looked at his reflection in the mirror for the last time and turned around. He was extremely nervous, which was surprising for him, he would've thought that after performing so many concerts in front of millions of people nothing could make him anxious, yet he kept compulsively fixing his already perfect appearance and pacing here and there. Finally he stormed back into the bedroom, where his boyfriend was still getting ready.

“What takes you so long?” he asked with irritation.

“Huh?” Marco turned his head and looked at Jean. “Damn it” he swore quietly when his tie got tangled up again.

“Ugh, give me that” Jean approached his boyfriend and tied his tie in a few skilled moves. “For an elegant politician who always wears ties, you suck at tying them too hard.”

“Usually Annie does it for me. Thanks” Marco smiled and took Jean's hands in his. “Hey, relax. We're supposed to celebrate tonight, not stress out” he smiled and kissed his partner's nose. After all these years he could easily tell when Jean was stressed.

“Maybe we should stay at home” Jean fixed the nonexistent wrinkles on Marco's shoulders. That dinner was really making him anxious.

“Hey. It's going to be fine. No pressure, just a casual family dinner.”

“Yeah” he slid his hands on his boyfriend's chest. “Have I ever told you that you look really hot in a suit?”

“No, Jean, we're going anyway” Marco crossed his arms on his chest, knowing fully well what his partner tried to do. “Come on.”

Jean sighed and followed him, but with little enthusiasm. He wasn't quite convinced if it was that good idea, but he knew it was important for his boyfriend, so he got in the car and drove them to the restaurant. But even then he was extremely nervous and Marco wasn't really helpful. On a contrary, he even added fuel to the fire.

“You know, I'm thinking that maybe we should finally make our relationship official” he spoke suddenly and Jean had to put a lot of effort to avoid hitting the other car.

“What? You want to tell everyone we're dating?” he asked with shock.

“Well, yes, why not? Reiss is out of the picture, I don't have to be afraid anymore. I want to be myself” Marco shrugged. He seemed convinced and optimistic about that.

“I know, but it might not be a good idea” Jean said, not looking at his partner.

“Why?”

“People won't be happy” he answered evasively.

“I thought you don't care what people think. Unless...” Marco looked at him suspiciously. “You still haven't told your parents about us, have you?”

“Um...”

“Jean!”

“Okay, I haven't, I'm sorry” Jean let out a frustrated sigh. “I just... I don't know how they would react. I'm scared, okay? I don't want them to reject me.”

“They won't.”

“Easy for you to say, your parents are very supportive” he growled, grabbing the steering wheel tighter.

“Hey” Marco put his hand on Jean's thigh and squeezed it gently. “Whatever happens, you'll still have my family. Besides, I don't think your mom would just abandon you. She loves you too much.”

“It's not mom I'm afraid of” Jean admitted, gritting his teeth.

“Don't worry. It's going to be alright.”

“Let's hope you're not wrong” Jean sighed and threw his head back when he stopped in the red light.

“Hey” Marco gently took his boyfriend's chin and turned his face towards him. “You will have to tell them eventually, you don't have to do that today, but you can't hide it forever. But no matter what happens, you have me, okay? Don't forget about that” he smiled, stroking his cheek.

Jean took a deep breath and nodded. Marco was so calm that he felt his anxiety soothe a little.

“If we tell them and they throw a tantrum... Will you stay with me anyway?” he asked hesitantly. Marco chuckled softly.

“Of course I will. No matter what happens. I promised” he gave Jean a quick kiss and pulled back on his seat, because the light turned green and they had to go.

When they entered the restaurant, Jean couldn't hear anything but the deafening beating of his heart. He shouldn’t feel that scared, it was nothing new, just two friendly families eating dinner together and celebrating. Nothing unusual. Nothing to be afraid of. So why did he feel so awkward, why was it so difficult? He desperately tried to stay calm, but he couldn’t even hold Marco’s hand for comfort. Terrible. But being the performer taught him that no matter what, the show must go on. If he managed to replace Eren as a lead singer when they needed it and not ruin that huge concert, he could eat a very uncomfortable dinner as well. He just had to convince himself it was all a stage play. He quickly put a trained smile on his face, the one that would make Historia happy and proceeded to exchange greetings with his and Marco’s families. Not like there were many people, just his parents, Marco’s parents and Ashley with her girlfriend. Yet it felt like a crowd. At least most of them knew their secret, one of them heavily contributed to the situation, so he shouldn’t feel alone. But he did. And he was doing the best he could to hide his feelings.

Marco was oblivious to his suffering. Jean didn’t blame him, it was his night. He had a reason to celebrate and Jean would never let his fears get in the way and ruin such a happy night. But he was painfully aware that it was going to end in drama, sooner or later, he had bad feelings about that night. Especially if the alcohol was going to be poured recklessly, though he hoped that such a fancy restaurant would never allow it. He tried to stay silent and avoid conversations, focused on eating and excusing his lack of enthusiasm with fatigue. It wasn’t a total lie, Attack on Titan had a productive time recently, working hard on a new album where Jean was going to have more solos. It was interesting how one sickness taught Eren a better lesson than anyone would ever manage to. He learned to step back, rest and take care, and he finally understood he wasn’t irreplaceable. Although unhappy at first, he quickly noticed that the constant spotlight could be tiring and it was nice to give it to someone else from time to time. Jean, on the other hand, found out that being a leader was a really hard work and while Eren was chilling as a support singer, Jean had to be absolutely perfect. It was truly exhausting. He was also driving that night, so he had an excuse to avoid drinking, which had its perks, it lowered the probability of saying something he would later regret saying. But even then he knew something was going to happen, the catastrophe was in the air.

“So, now that Rod Reiss is in jail, you can slow down and rest a little, don’t you think?” Marco’s mother asked her son, but he shook his head.

“No, the hard work starts now. I was the only candidate who could successfully replace Reiss. People believe in me and I can’t fail their expectations” he answered.

“You don’t have to prove anything to them, son” the woman protested.

“On the contrary. I absolutely have to prove they were right to believe in me. They trust in me, I can’t disappoint them.”

“Just don’t put too much pressure on yourself.”

“Don’t worry, I have someone to make sure I won’t overwork myself” Marco smiled at Jean.

“I'm sorry, but if you count on me, forget about it. It’s going to be a busy couple of months” Jean said straightforwardly. “To be honest, if I knew that being a successful musician costs so much work, I would’ve become a full time graphic designer.”

“Don’t even say that. The world should know your talent. You finally have the recognition you’ve dreamed about since you were a kid” Marco pointed out. He was proud of his boyfriend.

“Yeah, and I’d rather stay at home on the couch and watch some dumb movies.”

“That can be arranged.”

“With our schedules? Good luck.”

“Why are you suddenly so pessimistic?” Marco asked, watching him carefully.

“I’m sorry. I’m just stressed. You’re right, I have everything I could have asked for, but I’ve never expected this life to be this hard. If I think about how No Name did that while having full time jobs, it exhausts me already. They’re super humans.”

“Sometimes having what you wanted isn't exactly what you needed” Jean's mom said. “Just remember to take care of yourself.”

“I have to, Historia and Armin would murder me otherwise” Jean chuckled, knowing how serious his friends were about that.

“Well, sometimes what you get is exactly what you needed, you just aren't aware of that” Ash said with a smirk, she was still so proud of herself that she was the reason they got to be together.

“Well, yeah. The song writing process is amazing, and performing on the concerts what we made is very exciting and satisfying. I also enjoy meeting the fans, it's awesome to learn how our music impacts their lives, it makes us know that what we do actually makes sense” Jean said and his face lighted up with happiness. Despite many difficulties he had to face and that hard work he had to put into achieving what he had, he loved his career. And he was almost happy. Almost, because he still had to keep a secret of his relationship with a man he loved.

“Too bad you didn't get this girl you liked” his mother said suddenly and Jean tensed and paled. “Then you could say you had absolutely everything. What was her name? Mikasa?”

“It was a long time ago. We're just friends now and we're happy about that” he said dryly. Marco put his hand on Jean's thigh under the table to comfort him at least a little.

“Well, that's a very good point. When are you going to get a girlfriend? I'd like to meet her before I grow old” Jean's father commented. Jean took his boyfriend's hand and squeezed it tight, seeking for more comfort.

“I'd rather not discuss my relationship status” he answered, putting a lot of effort into staying calm and getting to the top of diplomacy.

“So you do have a relationship?”

“Maybe.”

“Yes of no” the man demanded and Jean sighed, not looking at him.

“Yes” he said quietly.

“Why didn't you say anything?”

“Because I wanted to avoid your nosy questions. I'll talk to you about it when I'm ready.”

“Oh, come on. You're our son, you can tell us anything” the man said and Jean knew he going to regret it before he even thought about it.

“I highly doubt that. You would never understand.”

“Try me.”

A challenge. The worst thing that could be done to a hot headed person like Jean was. A recipe for disaster, he couldn't stop, because the words left his mouth before he could even think about not doing that.

“I have a boyfriend.”

The silence that fell after he said these words was deafening. Jean felt sick because of the nerves and stress. He did it again, he acted without thinking and he was in trouble again.

“You... what?”

“I knew it was a bad idea” Jean stood rapidly and ran away before anyone could stop him. He needed air, he needed to be alone. And he couldn't face the consequences of his words, not yet.

The silence at the table lasted for a long moment before it was broken by Ash.

“You're not going after him?” she asked, looking at her brother.

“He needs a moment for himself. I had plenty opportunities to learn when it's better to leave him alone” Marco said calmly.

“That was... unexpected. But why did he think so low of us?” Jean's mother asked quietly, still shocked by her son's outburst. “Why he was so afraid of telling the truth?

“He was afraid you wouldn't understand” Marco sighed. “I've told him multiple times that he had nothing to worry about, but you know Jean. He can be really stubborn sometimes. And if he's sure about something, it's hard to convince him otherwise.”

“Well, technically he's not wrong. I don't understand that” Jean's father spoke, he wasn't really sure what to think about it. “But it doesn't mean I'm not going to accept him, I'm not a monster. I just need some time to process that, it's something I've never expected” he sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. Suddenly his wife stood up. “Where are you going?”

“I need to find Jean” she answered and followed the same way her son did.

“Well, it's never an easy thing to accept at first” Marco's father spoke. “But our children's happiness is the most important thing in the world and such small details don't matter anymore, when you think about the big picture. They're happy with their partners, they know what's important in lives and they're dating really amazing people. Who cares they're the same gender?”

“Besides it's often hard for themselves to accept who they are. We can't burden them with our insecurities. We need to support them” Marco's mother added.

“Jean struggled for years before he finally understood he didn't have to be ashamed of himself. Being bisexual is cool, I'm not complaining at all. It's having more options, and the more the better” Ash half joked, smiling wide.

“Easy for you to say, you've been bold and open about it all your life” Marco pointed out. His younger sister only shrugged.

“It's not my fault you were a coward who couldn't confess to his crush. I did it quickly and I have a wonderful girlfriend. And you literally needed a punch in the face to stop being afraid.”

“Can you not bring that back?”

“That's too funny.”

“It's not.”

“It wasn't back then, but now it is. Let me have my little sister moment and laugh at my oh-so-perfect big brother who failed a simple task.”

“I hate you.”

“I was helping you for years, time for payback.”

“Do you really have to act like children?” the siblings' father asked with annoyance.

“Speaking of children, I should probably look for mine” Jean's father said.

“He'll be back soon. He always comes back, don't worry” Marco assured him.

“You think so?”

“Sir, you should probably know that I am the one your son is dating. So if I say I know something, please, trust me, that I know” he explained. Suddenly he felt really stressed and nervous. What if he made a mistake? What if Jean would like to say it himself? What if that was too much for Mr. Kirschtein? But the man just hummed, thinking deeply.

“Makes sense. Though I would expect him to date some jerk who would break his heart. It's good that at least he has a sensible and kind partner.”

“Umm... Thank you?”

“I think I can get used to it. You were almost like family anyway.”

“Okay, but don't say that to me. Say it to Jean. With all respect, I couldn't care less if you like me or not. I'm used to people hating me, either for a reason or not. But your acceptance is very important for Jean and I want him to be happy. So I appreciate your approval, sir, but it means nothing if you won't say it again in front of Jean” Marco said and for a moment he thought maybe he crossed the line. But Jean's father only nodded.

“You're right. I have to do it as soon as he's back.”

Meanwhile outside the restaurant, Jean was going through a panic attack, nervous breakdown and all stages of grief at once. He knew it was bad, he should have been quiet, or he should have never even moved from home. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down, but he couldn't, despite many attempts. Nothing worked. Suddenly he had heard someone's footsteps and he turned around to avoid looking them in the face.

“Are you alright, sweetheart?” his mother asked, coming closer.

“Leave me alone” he growled. The woman didn't listen, instead she came closer and put her hand on his back.

“Remember how you were a child and you saw a thunderstorm for the first time? You didn't want to let go of me for hours. You were so paranoid that the storm would come inside and ruin our home” she chuckled softly, caressing his back.

“What does it have to do with anything?” Jean asked annoyed, but he didn't push his mother away.

“Just like then, all your fears are imagined. Jean, you know you sometimes are too focused on something and you have difficulties with seeing things which disagree with a certain mindset that you have. Although you have changed and matured enough, sometimes you still adapt that approach. Usually when you doubt something good may happen to you” she said with a soft, soothing voice that she would always use to calm him down when he was a child. He said nothing, just stood there with his hands in pockets, staring in the space. “I know it's hard for you, but don't waste your time on fears. You could risk so much to pursue your career, but not to admit who you are?”

“It's not that simple. No one hates me just for being an artist” he sighed. “Especially not people I care about.”

“No one hates you. To be honest, I even expected that.”

“You did?” Jean looked at his mother, surprised by her words.

“I had my suspicions. When you came home after that fight with Marco, I thought you were too heartbroken for a casual fight with a friend” she said with a smile.

“Wow... You knew I'm in love with him long before I was willing to admit it myself” he smiled softly.

“Mother knows best” the woman chuckled and took her hand away.

“Are you disappointed? Are you...” he hesitated for a moment “...are you going to stop loving me?”

“I could never stop loving you. You're my son. No matter what happens, you will always be my Jean-bo” she said, pulling her son in a hug. It was quite difficult, he was much taller than her after all, but Jean didn't protest, on a contrary, he happily accepted the embrace.

“Thank you, mom. It means a lot to me” he smiled and closed his eyes, breathing with relief.

“I'm sure your father would tell you the same thing” his mother assured him. Jean sighed with anxiety.

“I hope it's true.”

“Let's go back and find out, shall we?”

Jean hesitantly let go of his mom and nodded. He really hoped she was right, he didn't ask for much, just acceptance. Just a bit of understanding, that would be enough. His father didn't have to like or approve of his life, just if he wouldn't hate, that would be fine. He hesitantly followed his mother back to the restaurant.

“I told you he'll be back” Marco smiled at Jean's father. “Are you okay?” he asked with concern, looking at his boyfriend.

“I'll be fine, don't worry.”

“You know I worry exactly when you say that.”

“I mean it, Marco. There's nothing to worry about, I promise. It just... it was a very intense evening and I thought it was going to look differently. I'm sorry I've ruined your celebration.”

“Jean, you didn't ruin anything. I just wanted you to have a good time and I'm sad that you didn't. I love you so much and it breaks my heart to see you suffer” Marco confessed and Jean opened his mouth to say something, but he suddenly realized something.

“Are you tipsy?” he asked, watching suspiciously at his partner.

“Maybe.”

“Then stop talking, please. I don't want you to accidentally overshare something you wouldn't want to leak.”

“Well, there is something we would like to hear, right, Mr. Kirschtein?” Marco asked, looking at Jean's father and Jean felt his mouth go dry. He was anxious and scared what possibly his father could say.

“Yeah. I have to tell you something important. I might not understand or approve of your decisions, Jean. To be honest, I've never wanted you to be who you are now. I wanted you to have a stable, well-paid job, maybe as an engineer or a lawyer, meet a nice girl, marry her and have a family. But you're nothing like that. You didn't fulfill any of my expectations” he started, and Jean felt more sick with every word. “You've found your own path” the man said, changing his narrative. “You worked hard to be a successful artist, despite my discouragement. You're dating one of the kindest and best men I've ever met, and I'm so proud of you, my son. Your life isn't what I wanted it to be, but it's what you wanted it to be and I can see that you're so happy. And I just wanted to say that I might not understand you, but I love you and I'll do my best to be supportive” the man confessed and Jean just stared at him with tears in his eyes, deeply moved by his words.

“Wow, dad, I... I don't know what to say. I was so scared you might hate me for who I am... Thanks. I needed to hear this” he said, still a little shocked.

“See? I told you there's nothing to worry about” Marco nudged his boyfriend's shoulder with his, lips curved in a smug smirk.

“Oh shut up” Jean said and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He didn't like Marco's smug face, he looked so hot with it, and Jean didn't want to think what they would do if they were alone. Especially when his parents were around. That was definitely something that could wait.

“Aww, you're so cute” Ash smiled with satisfaction, she looked a lot like her brother.

“Not you too. Stop being so smug” Jean rolled his eyes.

“Oh, excuse me, I only made you two morons finally confess your feelings. You owe me.”

“We don't owe you anything.”

“You do and I have the full right to be smug. If it wasn't for me, you would've still lived in denial and my brother would've still be a coward and you both would rather lose each other than admit you were in love. So show me some respect, because I was the one who pushed you to make the right decision” she said angrily. Jean looked at his boyfriend, seeking for help.

“What, she's not wrong, you know that” Marco shrugged with an innocent expression. “Without her we wouldn't make any move, that's a fact.”

“Thank you, dear brother. At least one of you is smart enough to finally recognize my merit.”

“You love to be annoying, don't you?” Jean sighed, done with her.

“Well, that's what younger sisters are for” Ashley shrugged. “Better start getting used to it.”

[angel-tries-to-write]

Emergency

Fandom: Gravity Falls Rating: Teen and up Pairing: none Word count: 2522 Genre: family fluff

Being a young woman in a house full of dorky men can be surprising sometimes. Alternate title: Mabel vs. puberty.

A/N: I wrote this fic nearly a year ago, but I’ve always had other stuff to post first. Well, late is better than never.

It was good to be back in Gravity Falls. A lot has changed for the past year, but what was the most important, they could finally count on a calm, uneventful summer, which was actually a lot to ask for, especially having in mind the horrors of last time they were there. Also this time, Pines twins were actually thrilled to go to Oregon, unlike the previous year. And there were actually people who were waiting for them. Mabel literally jumped out of the bus as soon as it stopped, only to be caught by her beloved great-uncle Stan, then she hugged her other great-uncle Ford, and once the family was greeted properly, she squeezed the air out of Candy and Grenda. Behind her, Dipper tried to manage their bags and Waddles, who has grown up either. Luckily for the boy, Wendy was there to give him a hand and switch hats again. Despite not being a big fan of hugs, he also received his part of affection from both grunkles, then Soos, once they all came to Mystery Shack.

The first week was amazing, the young twins had to catch up with everything that had happened since their departure, but it was a pure joy. Everything was very exciting, they were delighted to visit old friends. Although after the emotions slowed down, bad memories came to the picture as well. They also started to notice small things indicating that everyone was dealing with it too. One day Mabel caught Stan staring at his napping brother as if he wanted to make sure he wouldn't disappear. When she mentioned that to Dipper, he told her that he noticed how Ford tensed and even flinched whenever he had heard any louder buzz of electricity, as if he was scared. Dipper himself would sometimes just stare through the window in the middle of the night, suffering from insomnia. And Mabel was having nightmares.

One night it was a particularly nasty one. Everything was dark and she was in a place she couldn't recognize at first. It took a moment for her to see the shapes of trees surrounding her, they were twisted and scary. A few steps away there was a weird pile of something that looked like a ruined house. After a while, she realized it was Mystery Shack. Mabel tried to run there, but the distance seemed to stay the same. Finally she managed to get closer, but she regretted it immediately. The two weird objects lying in front of her, turned out to be bodies. And not just any bodies, they belonged to her grunkles. She looked around in panic and noticed that the ruin of Mystery Shack was surrounded by dead bodies. She could recognize Grenda's big shape and Candy's broken glasses, and the more she looked, the more she could identify. Suddenly she heard a laugh behind her. She didn't even have to turn around to know who it was, yet she did it, just to look into the beast's eye. Unfortunately, Bill had something prepared for her. Once she faced him, he threw another body at her feet. It was heavily beaten up and injured, but she couldn't not recognize Dipper. It was when she started to scream. Bill laughed harder, took a swing and stabbed her right through the stomach. She felt lots of blood and throbbing pain that was very real, but couldn't be compared with the pain of losing her family.

She woke up screaming, only briefly realizing there was someone next to her saying something. Then they hugged her and as she sobbed into their shoulder, she realized it was Dipper. Her beloved twin brother was alive and well, and he tried to calm her down. It was morning already and she was in their room in Mystery Shack.

“Shhh, it's okay, it was just a dream” he murmured, stroking her hair.

“Dipper! I... You... Everyone died!” she cried out.

“It was just a nightmare. I'm fine, see?” he pulled away, letting her look at him.

“But it was Bill! He came back again and he killed all of us! He killed me too!” she argued, the memories of the dream were too fresh and terrifying. Then she realized that the pain was real. And if it was real, maybe everything else was real too.

“Mabel, he's gone and he won't come back” Dipper tried to talk sense to his sister, but she seemed to not fully understand that. She pulled the blanket off to check the wound and she screamed so loud, that her twin had to cover his ears. Her legs, pajamas, bedsheet, everything was covered in blood. Dipper stared in horror, but then he heard the door being opened and turned around to see Stan with brass knuckles and Ford with his gun, storming into the room.

“What is it?! Where's the danger?!” Stan yelled, ready to punch anything that moves.

“There's no danger, Mabel just had a nightmare, but something is wrong, there's blood everywhere” Dipper answered, visibly upset about the situation.

“It was Bill! He came back and killed everyone! He stabbed me and now I'm bleeding!” Mabel sobbed with panic. Her great-uncles looked at her, trying to make sense. Suddenly Stanford realized what actually happened.

“It's impossible. Bill is gone. Besides, we're all alive” he approached the girl's bed and took her small hands in his big and six fingered. “Mabel, listen to me” he said calmly, looking into her frightened eyes. “I promise Bill is never coming back. Never.”

“B-but it was so real! And why there's blood?” she asked, still not convinced.

“It seems like you just, well, you know, menstruate.”

Mabel's eyes widened and her jaw dropped in shock. She immediately stopped crying, finally realizing that her dream was in fact just a dream and she was not going to die.

“I... what? Really? It's just a period?”

“You're growing up, sweetie. Besides, it's the only logical explanation. As I said, Bill is gone forever.”

She looked at her grunkle seeking for a final confirmation, his calm eyes and reassuring smile slowly soothed her fears and convinced her that everything would be okay. She wiped her tears and laughed with relief.

“Oh wow... I clearly didn't expect that” she smiled. “Thank you, guys.”

“There's nothing to thank for.”

“No, grunkle Ford, there is. You really made me feel better. And thanks for not laughing at me or something” she looked down with a slight embarrassment.

“Are you kidding me? Our little girl is growing up, we have to celebrate that!” Stanley exclaimed with pride and ruffled the his great-niece's hair. “I'll go make something special for breakfast.”

“Come on, get up. We have some washing to do and I can show you some tricks to remove blood stains” Ford offered and that made Mabel realize something.

“Wait. I need pads. Or maybe tampons. I don't know. But I can't just go and bleed on everything.”

It was when Dipper realized everyone was looking at him.

“Why me?”

“Someone has to do that and I'm going to make a breakfast” Stan answered.

“And I have some washing to do” Ford pointed at the bed. “Also I doubt any of us would be useful in that matter. We're not really experts when it comes to women” the man admitted and rubbed his neck.

“Dipper, please” Mabel looked at her twin with puppy eyes. “You're the only person who can help me. Besides, how difficult can it be to find some pads?”

“Okay, okay, I'll go” he sighed and headed downstairs.

“Hey, what's with that face?” the boy jumped startled, hearing a voice unexpectedly.

“Wendy! I didn't know you're here already!” he screamed feeling his heart rate speed up.

“Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. So? What's wrong?” the red haired girl smiled.

“Mabel is on her period and I have to go and buy some stuff, but I have no idea what exactly. Wait a moment... You're a girl, right? You can help me!” he realized suddenly.

“Dipper, I... Okay, fine. C'mon” she pulled out the car key out of her pocket. “Soos, I gotta go for a while!” she yelled and left before there was any answer. Dipper followed her, but stopped when he saw her getting in the car.

“Uhh... are you sure...?”

“It's okay, I made it” Wendy showed him her brand new driving license. “I actually got it in a week before your arrival. I was quite desperate to be able to drive by then.”

“Congratulations, but it doesn't make me feel better.”

“Grumpy as usual. Hold onto something!” she warned him and rapidly moved. They were in the store in no time, but Dipper really thought Wendy's driving techniques could be more cautious. Up until then he also thought that his little quest wasn't something he should be scared of. But once they enter the store, found the right aisle and he saw the amount of things to choose between, his legs wobbled and his jaw dropped.

“Okay, it's way more complicated than it seemed” Dipper said, looking at lots of pads, tampons, panty liners and all the other things he never thought he would need to know about. He looked at his friend, but she was nowhere to be seen. “Wendy?” he looked around and spotted her near the sweets. As far as he knew, chocolate was also helpful, so good thinking. But that meant he was on his own until she's back. “Alright, Dipper, you've got this” he muttered to himself and tried to make sense of all of the boxes. He took something and attempted to read the instructions.

“Dipper?” suddenly someone spoke, resulting him dropping the box.

“Candy!” he turned around and faced one of Mabel's besties and he could feel his face getting suddenly hotter.

“What would you look for among feminine hygiene products?” she asked with a slight disbelief.

“It's not what you think...”

“So you're not buying anything for your sister?” she asked and Dipper just stared at her dumbfounded.

“Okay, it seems it's exactly what you think” he admitted.

“Wait, does that mean that Mabel has got her first period?” Candy adjusted her glasses and looked at the boy with shining eyes.

“Yes, she has. Can you help me with this?”

“Oh, sorry, I still haven't had mine, she's first. I don't think I'll help much.”

“You're a girl, you have to know something I don't!” Dipper looked at her desperately.

“Well, all I know that various types of products meet various needs. Like, these drops indicate that these pads are very absorbent, so they're good for heavy bleeding. But I have no idea what heavy bleeding is.”

“Wow, that's a useful information. I feel a little less lost.”

“You're welcome.”

Meanwhile Wendy came back with a few bars of chocolate, a few packs of jelly beans, a box of ice cream, a few bags of chips and a cotton candy.

“How's it going? Hiya, Candy.”

“Hey, Wendy, see you in the Shack! I have to go, get Grenda to go to Mabel to celebrate!” she waved and quickly went to finish her shopping.

“Uhh, do we really need all of these?” Dipper asked hesitantly, looking at the amount of sweets Wendy had.

“Trust me, we do. Okay, but we still don't have the most important thing. So, all you have to do is to think. Mabel is very active, right? So tampons will be a better choice. Now, it's her first time, so the smallest will be enough. And she can start with those with applicators, they're easier to learn. Let's take these” she found and grabbed the right box, then tossed it to Dipper, who stared at her very impressed.

“You make it look so easy.”

“I've been dealing with this for a couple of years by now, I have a lot of experience” she shrugged and headed to the cash desk.

Meanwhile in the Shack, Mabel was really grateful for not being the only female in this house. Thanks to Melody, who gave her a pad, she could get dressed and at least try to look like nothing happened. Her stomach was still aching and she completely lacked energy. Although her grunkles tried their best to help, they weren't really successful. She decided to just sit in the kitchen and wait for Dipper and Wendy come back. But even when they finally did, she hadn't felt much better.

“Hey, Mabel, we got you something! A lot of somethings, actually” her twin announced and Wendy placed all the sweets in front of her.

“Thanks, guys” she said with no enthusiasm or happiness.

“What's wrong, sis?” Dipper was very concerned about his sister.

“I don't know. I just feel... ugh” she answered, not really sure how to explain it.

“Hormones. That's completely normal. It may change soon” Wendy assured her and handed her a box of tampons. “Here. They're nice and comfortable, you'll nearly forget you're on your period. Just read carefully the instructions inside, that really helps. Oh, and we've met Candy, she's going to get Grenda and come here to celebrate. If you had any questions, you know where I am” she said and left the twins.

“You're too sweet for me, guys. All of you” Mabel looked at the sweets, then at her brother and her eyes became glossy with upcoming tears. “And you're the best twin ever.”

“It's okay, if I needed help, you would do anything for me” Dipper smiled, then yelped as his sister pulled him in a hug.

“I love you” she sobbed, hugging him and crying.

“I love you too” he stroke her hair, not really knowing what to do.

“What's going on here? Ooh, nice” grunkle Stan entered the room and reached for the chocolate bar.

“That's for Mabel! Wendy said it will help her!” Dipper scolded him and his sister pulled away from their hug.

“It's okay, I can share” she wiped her tears and smiled. “That's so stupid, I'm crying because you did something nice for me” she sniffled, chuckling softly.

“Don't worry, I want to cry every time Ford does something nice for me too” Stan opened the chocolate and took a bite. “But don't you dare to tell him that.”

“Oh, I already know it, Stanley” Ford spoke suddenly, unintentionally scaring everyone. Sometimes he could be extremely sneaky, even more than his brother. “Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.”

“Then maybe stop sneaking up on us!” Stan yelled, trying to hide his embarrassment.

“I'm not sneaking up on anyone, it's not my fault you have bad hearing.”

“Please, don't fight!” Mabel burst out and both grunkles looked at her in shock. “Hug it out!” she commanded, but she didn't expect their reaction. Both men exchanged a knowing look before they attacked their great-niece with a group hug. After a moment, Dipper joined them and despite a rather shocking and bad beginning of the day, Mabel knew she had the best family she could ever ask for and that with them, she could overcome anything. Even (or especially) growing up.

[angel-tries-to-write]

Maybe this was a bad idea

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Rating: Mature Pairing: Ezio Auditore x reader Word count: 564 Genre: angst

The Templars had a plan, but yours was better. At least in your head. Well, it's all for the creed, isn't it?

If you received ten florins every time you thought "this was supposed to be an easy mission", you would be awfully rich. Because everything was trying to prove you that killing the target was not going to happen.

You froze, feeling a cold blade touching your throat. Your left arm was blocked painfully, but you didn't dare to try to free yourself. You looked at Ezio, warning him with an intense gaze to not do anything stupid.

“So, assassino, what will you choose? Will you give me what I want or do I have to help you decide” the man behind you pressed his knife to your skin. That situation didn't look good.

“Let them go!” shouted Ezio and you knew he was furious. “And maybe then I will spare your life!”

“You are not in the position to threaten us” answered the Templar. You quickly calculated the risks, it was predictable that Auditore will do anything to save you.

“But I am” you spoke, pulling out one of your throwing knives, because that was the only thing you could reach. “You will never get the Piece of Eden. Ever” you growled. Then you did something no one expected: you stabbed yourself. You heard your lover scream, the templar was so surprised he let you go and you fell to the ground like a ragdoll. Your stomach hurt like hell and you were bleeding, but you were pretty sure you wouldn't die. You and Leonardo were studying anatomy for long enough to know where you should stab to minimize the risk of death.

“No, (y/n), you can't leave me” you heard the assassin, when you got used to the pain enough to realize what was going on around you.

“I am not” you grunted. “Yet. You have to hurry and patch me up” you ordered. The pain was so strong you were unable to walk. “Finish them and take me to the doctor. Go!” you growled, pushing him in the chest.

“I can not leave you” he protested, but you hit him quite hard. Your time was getting short, he had to be quick, before you would bleed out.

“Go!” you snapped angrily, clutching onto your wounded side. Ezio finally moved to chase the Templars. You cursed under your breath, realizing your mistake. You most probably didn't hurt any vital organs, but you used too much force. The wound was deep and bled faster than you thought it would. If Ezio wouldn't come back fast enough, it might end up very bad.

You had no idea how much time has passed before Ezio came back to you. The loss of blood made you feel dizzy, your head and eyelids suddenly seemed extremely heavy, every sound was muffled and your vision was blurry. It felt almost like you were out of your body, which started to relax, as you were slowly losing your consciousness. You were cold and for a brief moment you wondered if this was how dying felt like.

Suddenly you felt someone shaking you, but you were too tired to react. Your eyes were almost closed, so you couldn't see much. All you knew was that someone lifted you up and was carrying you somewhere, but you could only hope that it was Ezio and that he carried you to the doctor. Finally it all stopped to have any meaning as the darkness consumed you.

[angel-tries-to-write]

A journey to happiness

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Rating: Teen and up Pairing: Moblit Berner x Jaxx, background Levi Ackerman x Hanji Zoë Word count: 4008 Genre: fluff

It was supposed to be a gift for my friend Jaxx @theythemdumbbitch but I didn’t manage to finish it for Christmas due to being busy with studying, working and writing Levihan Christmas Drabble Countdown. I’m sorry Jaxx, I hope you’re happy with what I managed to write. I’m sorry if I wrote something too sensitive, I aimed for realism. Love you 💖

If someone told you a few years ago that you were going to have the most dangerous work and that you were going to love it, you would have laughed at them. A few years ago, just after graduating almost on top of the class — which you weren't expecting, but apparently your hard work paid off — you chose the Military Police, as it was having the highest survival rate. It was safe and quite prestigious, and you didn't think you were the heroic type. You knew you didn't have guts to join Survey Corps and actually fight for freedom, even though it felt like something you would like to do. You would love to actually do something useful for humanity, but you were too scared. Until it all changed. You had a late night patrol, when you've heard a noise in the alley. You decided against alerting your duty partners, they were jerks anyway, so you swallowed the fear and sneaked up to the source of the noise. You saw five people who tried really hard to act quietly, but it was very difficult, since they were drunk. They were wearing Survey Corps uniforms. You could arrest them. You could report them easily, but you just stood there unbothered, watching them.

“Come on, Hanji, move” the short black haired man grunted, trying to put his friend on their feet. Hanji? Could this be Hanji Zoë, one of the most brilliant scientists in the military? You've heard a lot about them, you were a big fan of them. But that would mean that the man who was dragging them behind him was Levi Ackerman, humanity strongest? You were so excited that you couldn't catch a breath, but no wonder. Not every day you would meet the best soldiers in the world.

“I can't, the world is spinning too much” Hanji giggled, leaning heavily on Levi.

“I told you to stop drinking” he fussed, but kept trying to make them walk. “It's all your fault” he turned his head angrily to the tall blond man who walked slightly behind them, carrying a blonde woman who seemed to be sleeping.

“My fault?” the man in question asked. “I didn't tell them anything. It's not my fault they forgot I can drink way more than them.”

“But if you weren't encouraging them...”

“Oh, excuse me, I didn't know I was supposed to babysit Hanji for today. I thought I was going to party with my friends.”

“Guys, don't fight” the blonde woman spoke quietly, you could barely hear her.

“We're not fighting.”

“I know when you're angry, Miche” she opened her eyes and looked at the man who was carrying her. “Just leave it, you know Levi is too stubborn, especially when he's drunk.”

“Alright” Miche sighed. Was it Miche Zacharias, second humanity strongest? You were so lucky that night.

“Thank you” the woman kissed his cheek and snuggled comfortably against his chest.

“Moblit, can you help me?” Levi asked with irritation. The man called Moblit only looked at him with an unbothered face that was lacking any expression.

“Nah, you're fine” he said nonchalantly. “Sorry Captain, but for tonight the Squad Leader Hanji is your problem, not mine.”

You opened your mouth in shock. That was so badass. This man spoke so boldly to humanity strongest! He feared nothing, he saw no god up there other than him. Wow. You've never been more impressed in your entire life. This man, Moblit, he deserved the world for his bravery and boldness.

Eventually you had realized that you couldn't just stand there and watch, you had to do something, either report them, or leave them be and pretend you saw nothing. However, there was another option.

“Excuse me” you spoke up, approaching them with a new-found courage. “Hi, I'm Jaxx and I'd like to ask if you need any help, because if the Military Police catches you, they will certainly report it and you'll be in trouble. So I recommend getting moving” you said. Levi Ackerman looked at you carefully with a judging expression. You started to sweat with anxiety under this scrutinizing look.

“And how are we supposed to know that you won't report us?” he asked.

“Because I've just decided to quit my job and join Survey Corps” you blurted out without thinking much. “Military Police is boring, I want to do the real job and real fighting.”

“Perfect, another recruit!” Hanji yelled a little too loud. “Ask for Squad Hanji, I'll welcome you with open arms” they smiled at you before Levi pulled them hard in the right direction.

And so you did. You managed to cover them and avoid the prying eyes of your co-workers, and the very next morning you applied for a transfer to the Survey Corps. Your commander expressed his regret that such a good soldier was leaving them, but you knew you were doing the right thing. And a few days later you were a member of Squad Hanji. When you received your uniform with Wings of Freedom, you felt like the actual wings were growing out of your back. You felt powerful, confident, and for once in control of your life. Finally something was going just fine, you were assigned to assist Hanji Zoë in their research, so you could spend more time with them.

As well as with the executive officer Moblit Berner.

It took a while, but you realized eventually that this man was something more than you first thought. He seemed boring and bland, but you quickly figured out it was just a façade. He was incredibly smart, strong and always in control. He always knew what to do or say. He was perfect. You've caught yourself staring at him secretly, especially when you were supposed to work. But could anyone blame you? He was the embodiment of your biggest dreams and if you could ever date a man, then only this.

Of course, being a part of Survey Corps was not a bed of roses, but a hard work itself, way harder than this boring stuff you had to do in Military Police, but you weren't complaining. For the first time you felt like you were going to do something important, something that had its purpose, and was actually useful to improve the current situation of humanity. So you were doing everything you were commanded to do with no slight complain. You would do anything for Hanji and Moblit, they were the best supervisors you could ever ask for. They were really smart, but also very kind. Not to mention they were also pretty hot and you could simply stare at them for hours. And since you were always willing to listen to Hanji's endless lectures about their newest research, they absolutely adored you. There were some moments when you've had enough though, then you were looking at Moblit, who was even more bored and less interested in all the rambling, so you tried to cheer him up with funny faces. It quickly became a competition, to make the funniest face and stay unseen by Hanji, who was so absorbed by their research that they weren't paying attention to anything else, unless it was really obvious. It quickly became clear that not only these long lectures were the moments in which you could have fun. Moblit could be quite a funny guy when he wasn't busy babysitting Hanji. You've found out it was a real pleasure to talk to him and if the circumstances were different, you definitely would like to get closer to him.

Unfortunately, living peacefully within the Walls and doing research wasn’t the only thing you were experiencing. The situations in which you were exposed to danger were also happening. In Military Police you hadn’t seen much titans, while in Survey Corps it was an everyday thing. You weren’t the bravest person, the first fight you had spent hiding in fear, crying in guilt and shame, that your comrades were fearlessly going to fight, offering their hearts for humanity. Moblit and Hanji took good care of you, talking about their beginnings and giving you tips on how to control your fear. They made you feel valid, that it was okay to be afraid and that you did nothing wrong. Their advice and warm attitude gave you the strength and bravery you needed to fight and soon you were able to prove you didn’t graduate almost on top of the class for nothing. You were fast, agile, focused on your task and good at doing the simple commands. Interactions with other people were difficult for you, but once the battle was starting and they didn’t expect you to know things they never told you or look for deeper meanings of their words, you were the happiest person in the whole military. Short, precise commands were something you adored.

But sometimes it wasn’t enough. Sometimes you were so focused on what you were doing that you would become hyper focused. And this state was as impressive as it was dangerous, because you were able to ignore literally everything. Even such a thing as a titan charging on you with its full force. You saw it the very last moment, before it bit your head off, you miraculously managed to dodge and suddenly you felt someone pull you hard and slam your body against a wall in a dark alley. Your mouth was covered to prevent you from screaming and before you could make a noise, you saw that the mysterious attacker was Moblit himself. He covered you with his body in a protective action, you swallowed hard, feeling his strong muscles under your hands. He was observing the surroundings and listened if the titans were going to seek for you or not, so he was completely oblivious to your reactions of this sudden closeness. And it was quite obvious, you felt like you could stay in his arms forever and when he let you go, you nearly made a fool of yourself by thanking him for slamming you against a wall. In the very last moment you managed to say “rescue”. He smiled and told you to be careful, because he didn’t want anything bad to happen to you.

He. Not them. Not Survey Corps, not Erwin, not Hanji, him. He didn’t want to see you hurt. At first you thought it was just your overthinking and that you were imagining things which weren’t there. You didn’t feel at all like someone who could draw this man’s attention, but apparently this was exactly what had happened. You started to notice he loved to spend time with you, that he was always very helpful and protective, but mostly that he was always smiling whenever he would see you. Maybe he was just friendly…

…or maybe your feelings weren’t one-sided.

Because much to your despair, you fell in love with this man, you fell hard and it didn’t look like it was ever going to stop. His passion and dedication, his personality and appearance, all the littlest things were making you crazy in love and you wished so hard that fraternization rules didn’t exist, because all you wanted to do was to kiss and cuddle with Moblit, your beloved. One time, a half of this wish had happened. The battle was nasty and dangerous. You had lost a few soldiers, many of them were injured, including you. It wasn’t anything serious, but you were separated with your squad for nearly all the battle. When you were heading back to the quarters, you spotted your supervisors. Moblit immediately ran to you and hugged you tight, whispering words of relief. And then something unexpected happened: he kissed you. For a brief moment you didn’t know if you were dreaming or not, you could feel the electricity in your body, the fire in your veins and when it had ended you just stared at him with shock. He quickly apologized, explaining he was just relieved to see you alive and relatively fine, and you had no idea what to make of it. You weren’t sure anymore if he was into you, or if he was just friendly, or what it all meant. And one night things got complicated even more.

It was late in the night and you just wanted to take your notebook from Hanji’s lab, you had left it there by accident, but you didn’t even manage to open the door, when you heard moans from the inside. At first you were afraid that there was an accident and someone needed help, but soon you realized that these moans were of a different nature. It was Hanji and someone else. A man. You gasped and stepped back. Hanji had a lover? Against the rules? Not that you judged, but you doubted someone would like to have a secret relationship with such a crazy scientist. At least no one would spend their time with them. No one but… you sighed heavily at the realization and you felt your heart breaking. So Hanji and Moblit were a thing? So much for any love. Of course, Hanji was way more amazing and interesting than you. Maybe they didn’t identify as a traditional gender, they even used they/them pronouns, but they still were at peace with their body.

Unlike you, a trans male.

Your whole body felt absolutely disgusting and strange. It just wasn’t yours. Being in the military helped you to build some muscles, so at least you felt a little more masculine, but that still wasn’t someone you would like to be. Of course no one would fall for you, especially not someone like Moblit. You ran back to your quarters and threw yourself on the bed, trying your best to hide your tears.

The next few days were extremely painful and awkward. You talked to Moblit and Hanji as little as you could and you avoided them at all cost. They tried to talk to you, but you were a pro at avoiding difficult conversations. You were doing your best to forget about your feelings, broken heart, Hanji breaking the rules and all the disappointment. You just wanted to drown yourself in your own misery. But it wasn’t going to happen.

“Jaxx, wait!” you’ve heard Moblit call you and you started to walk faster. But he wasn’t having it, he quickly caught you and once again slammed you against a wall. It was hot, you wouldn’t deny it, but it was also unfair what he was doing to you.

“Let me go” you said, trying to stay calm.

“No. At least not until you tell me what happened. You’ve been avoiding me and Hanji, why?” he asked, looking at you with his big, honest eyes. You sighed, feeling that you couldn’t resist these eyes. They were too precious.

“A few days ago I went to the lab. I just wanted to take my notebook, but I heard something I wasn’t meant to hear” you confessed, averting your eyes.

“What was it?”

“Not what but who. It was Hanji. They were in an intimate situation with someone” you answered. Moblit’s expression changed from worried to panicked.

“A-are you sure?” he asked, looking around.

“Positive. It was unmistakable.”

“Damn it” he cursed and you did your best to ignore the fluttering of your heart. The way his voice sounded when he swore was truly delightful. “Alright, please, promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

“Why would I?”

“Look, this is serious. I don’t know what you think about it, but if people start to gossip, Hanji will be in huge trouble and I’ll be dead. Promise me you won’t say a word.”

“Why?”

“Just promise. Please, Jaxx, I’ve never asked you to do anything more than I do now” he begged and his face was so desperate that you once again couldn’t resist.

“Alright. I promise” you gave in.

“Thank you” he exhaled with relief. “Captain Levi would murder me.”

“What does he have to do with that?” you asked with confusion.

“Uhh… nevermind. So now we can talk about what’s bothering you” he tried to change the topic.

“Exactly this” you said, the pain was clear in your voice. “But it’s none of my business. You can sleep with anyone as long as you’re happy. Now excuse me, I have my duties” you nearly ran away, leaving confused Moblit behind. You didn’t understand his reaction, what was so difficult to understand with that? There was a slight regret that you didn’t confess your feelings when you had a chance, but you knew it wouldn’t be good. He was happy with someone he loved and because you loved him, you wished him all the happiness. Even when it hurt like hell.

You could swear you were cursed or something. Because when a few days later you were bringing the books Hanji asked for, you accidentally overheard a conversation. At first you didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but it just happened.

“So, Moblit. What’s on your mind lately?” Hanji asked with a lighthearted voice.

“Not what but who” Moblit answered with a sigh.

“If it’s the person I think about then I must admit I’m worried too. He doesn’t want to talk to us almost at all. Do you perhaps know why?” they said with concern, but that last question was somewhat hopeful and curious.

“I don’t know for sure. I tried to talk to him and he said he had heard you one night in the lab” he explained. You couldn’t see Hanji’s reaction, but you could swear they paled, it was clearly heard in their voice.

“I assume I wasn’t doing the experiments…”

“No, Hanji. You were breaking the rules” Moblit rebuked them, for the first time you remembered he talked to them straightforwardly, omitting their rank. “He said he had heard you with a man. He doesn’t know who it was, but I think he assumed it was me…”

“Levi must never know about it. He would kill us all” Hanji said with fear in their voice.

“That’s what I told Jaxx. He asked why I suddenly mentioned Captain Levi, but I managed to avoid that question. But I made him promise he wouldn’t tell what he knew.”

“Good idea. The last thing I need is people gossiping about me. They would connect the dots like Jaxx did and assume it’s you I’m seeing. Or worse, they would find out the truth” Hanji sighed. The truth? Did that mean they weren’t a thing?

“I think Jaxx is mad at me” Moblit said quietly and you barely caught his voice.

“I’m not surprised. He thinks we have a secret affair.”

“How am I supposed to convince him we don’t?”

“Why would you want to convince him?” Hanji asked and there was a moment of silence. “Ohhh, I see” they said and a big, shit-eating grin was clear in their voice. “He’s clearly someone special.”

“I.. I don’t know w-what you’re talking about” Moblit protested and you had to admit it was pretty adorable to hear him so flustered.

“Oh, really? You don’t? Then why else would you want to convince him we’re not a thing, huh?”

“Because it’s true! We’re not a thing!”

“Then tell him that.”

“He wouldn’t believe it.”

“Why?”

“Because I have no proof! What am I supposed to say? Expose your relationship?”

“Yeah, no, that would be a suicide if Levi found out. The less people know, the better” Hanji said and you could hear them rub their chin. “Maybe just confess to him?”

“Are you out of your mind?! I can’t!” he screamed in panic.

“Moblit, calm down and be a big boy. You have feelings for Jaxx, don’t even try to deny it. I can read people’s feelings very well, don’t forget I’m dating Levi, who is emotionally constipated.”

“Even if I told him we’re not a thing and I confessed my feelings, why would he believe me?”

“Are you blind? I swear, I need glasses and I see way more than you do” Hanji said with disapproval.

“Enlighten me then” Moblit said and you could identify the obvious sarcasm in his voice, even though you usually struggled with it.

“He loves you.”

“He what?! That’s impossible!”

“I’m pretty sure he thinks the same way.”

“How can he love me… He’s so smart and funny, and he fights so well… and he has the biggest heart. I don’t deserve him, I’m just… no one…” he said. It was the moment you decided to intervene before you faint.

“That’s not true” you spoke, opening the door. Moblit jumped at your sudden entrance. “You’re really smart and strong, and passionate, and dedicated, and professional, and so cool that I’d never be like you and I thought you would never want to even look at such a disaster” you blurted out in panic.

“Jaxx? H-how much did you hear?” Moblit was shocked and terrified.

“Everything. I’m sorry I’ve ever doubted you. I guess I’ve just doubted myself in the first place” you confessed, lowering your head. “I mean… I can’t even be who I really am…”

“Gender dysphoria can be a bitch, I know” Hanji spoke with a gentle voice, carefully placing their hands on your shoulder. “But having someone who loves and supports you no matter who you are, is very helpful. I’ve learned that myself, but I’ve heard you know about it.”

“I do, but don’t worry, Hanji-san. Your secret is safe with me” you assured them firmly.

“Thank you. I think I could be able to help you with your problem. I happen to know one surgeon who once offered me an experimental surgery to help me when I had an identity crisis. I didn’t take the offer, I learned to love my body, but I know in your case it’s not a solution” Hanji said and for a moment you briefly forgot about the love of your life. Were they talking about what you thought they were?

“Do you think… he would be able to remove… this?” you asked with hesitation, pointing at your breasts. You hated them and every day you wished you cut them off.

“This and whatever you would like to.”

“Wow… I don’t know what to say… I’ve always thought I’m doomed to live in a body that isn’t mine and pretend I’m someone else. And you not only accepted me, never even once I’ve heard you misgender me, but you’re also offering me a possibility of top surgery I’ve been dreaming about?” you asked, feeling your eyes fill with tears of joy. It was too much good news for one evening. “I don’t know how to thank you…”

“You don’t have to thank me. Just be yourself, be happy, and make my friend happy” Hanji hugged you and smiled, looking at Moblit. “You better make him happy as well. He’s a wonderful man, he doesn’t deserve more suffering” they warned their friend playfully.

“Of course, who do you think I am?” Moblit asked with irritation. “I’m going to do anything to make you happy” he confessed, looking at you.

“Well, you can start with kissing me” you said quietly, suddenly flustered.

“Of course I can” he smiled and fulfilled your wish.

And it was just the beginning of your journey to happiness. You were convinced there was nothing that could possibly make your life better, and suddenly you had a friend who could understand your struggle, you had an amazing boyfriend who was very loving and supportive, even though you had to keep your relationship secret, and finally, a few weeks later, you also had a body you liked more, finally flat chested. It was worth to wait this long for your dreams to come true. Even though your life has been rough and you couldn't believe you might ever be happy. But I believe. I've always believed. And I wish you all the best in your life, because you deserve it so much. Be yourself, Jaxx, because you're amazing.

Love,

Angel

[angel-tries-to-write]

Not so happily ever after

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Rating: Teen and up Pairing: Miche Zacharias x Nanaba Word count: 2152 Genre: domestic fluff, emotional hurt/comfort

There was time when Nanaba thought that motherhood was rough, but full of love and happiness. That was before postpartum depression ruined her life. Luckily Miche knows what to do.

Nanaba knew that maternity had never been an easy thing to do. Maybe she lacked personal experience, as her own mother wasn't a particularly good example, of a mother, but she had Levi's mom, then her friend Nifa, even Hanji, who knew enough about biology to be helpful. So ever since she had found out she was pregnant, and she and Miche decided to accept that fate, Nana had had a lot of time to get ready for being a mother. In theory, at least, because in reality working two full time jobs was giving a very little opportunities to actually learn about pregnancy and parenthood. Even when she finally could quit her job at the restaurant and became a No Name's manager, her duties were so time consuming, that it was a miracle when she could take some rest. Speaking of mental rest, of course, because physically she was resting a lot, especially in the later stages of her pregnancy, when the baby grew big enough to make walking and sitting uncomfortable. Then there were some complications with her health, which resulted in her having to wait for the childbirth in the hospital due to stress, so only then, when by doctor's order she had to leave all of her work to Erwin, Nana had the time to actually read some parenting books, instead of flipping through them. So when the time had come and she went into a labor, she was more or less prepared.

It turned out it was less, her labor wasn't progressing and an emergency c-section was needed to save the baby's life. That really crushed her. Of course, the most important thing was that their beautiful baby girl — whom they decided to name Flora — was strong and healthy, but being unable to deliver her without the medical intervention was one of the things which really affected Nana's mental health. She felt guilty. She felt like she had failed as a mother and as a woman. She needed two weeks until she could function relatively normally. Relatively, because — as she was told — the full process of recovery during the postpartum period could last approximately six weeks.

What no one told her, however, was that her mental health would drop significantly during that time. It wasn't surprising though, the situation she was placed in wasn't something she was easily able to adapt to. She felt physically terrible, she experienced a lot of pain, because of the wound obviously, but even breastfeeding turned out to be more challenging than she first expected it to be. So she ended up with very sore breasts, heavy with milk, and sensitive, hurting nipples as well. Her whole body in general looked and felt way worse than what she was used to. Stretch marks, loose skin, still big belly that had no intention in becoming flat again and eternal exhaustion were making every glare in the mirror painful and repulsing. Not to mention she was bleeding all the time, because her body was cleaning out after pregnancy, so she felt dirty and uncomfortable all the time.

On top of that — and this was probably the worst thing of all, which made her feel really down — she wasn't miraculously flooded with love for her baby. It was supposed to happen the moment she was given her child, that was was what she had always heard. The love for her baby was supposed to be something that would make her forget all the pain and discomfort of labor. But nothing like that happened, she looked at her baby and she couldn’t feel anything. Of course, she would never want anything bad to happen to her newborn daughter, she didn’t hate her. She was indifferent, empty, it was nothing.

Another thing that was making her feel worse, was seeing Miche, who was totally nailing being a father. He was doing everything, literally, because Nanaba was lying in bed most of the time, unable to do anything. So taking care of baby Flora, taking care of Nanaba and keeping their house relatively functioning was all on Miche. Of course, they weren’t left on their own, their friends were visiting every two or three days, just like a few months prior they were doing the same thing for Moblit and Nifa, and their help was priceless. But also it all was making Nanaba feel worse, because she expected herself to do everything, but in fact she could do nothing, which made her feel like an utter disappointment.

When she finally felt good enough to get out of bed and function relatively normally, she felt only slightly better and only a little less guilty that Miche didn’t have to do everything on his own. She knew he didn’t feel particularly good with having all those responsibilities, but not even once he had complained about it. And that made Nanaba feel deeply grateful and enamored with her husband, but she also blamed herself for everything.

What she hadn’t thought about was that Miche wasn’t dumb. He knew perfectly what was happening to his wife, but he himself needed some time to get familiar with this new situation that the birth of their daughter had created. It took him a little over two weeks, roughly the same amount of time Nanaba needed to recover after c-section. And when they did, he knew it was time to do something because his responsibilities and Nana’s terrible mood and well-being made their relationship suffer. They weren’t living with each other anymore, they lived next to each other. And of course, the baby was important, but after two weeks it was the high time for the new parents to do something for themselves.

“She’s asleep?” Miche asked, seeing his wife leaving their daughter’s room. Nanaba didn’t say a word, she just nodded. “Good. Come on” he reached his hand and took hers.

“Where?” she asked weakly, looking at him with tired eyes.

“We’ll take a shower.”

“What about Flora?” Nana asked with uncertainty.

“She’s asleep. She’ll be fine. And we could use a moment for each other” he gave his wife a quick kiss and pulled her to the bathroom. “Don’t worry, we have this” he said, grabbing a baby monitor. “We’ll know if something happens, but I’m convinced it won’t.”

“You can’t know for sure.”

“Of course not, but I believe we deserve some rest.”

Nana sighed and let Miche pull her to the bathroom. She watched him undress but she made no move to do the same. Her body looked so different that she was too reluctant to show it. Fortunately her husband knew what to do and didn’t care at all about any potential insecurities.

“Come here” he said softly and started to unbutton her stretched, oversized shirt. She averted her eyes, convinced he would be disappointed by what he was going to see. “Don’t be ashamed. You look beautiful as usual” he said with a warm smile.

“I don’t look beautiful. I don’t feel beautiful” she protested, but allowed him to undress her. She trusted him after all.

“You just look different, but still beautiful, my love” Miche reassured his beloved wife, pulled her under the warm stream of water on hope it would help her relax.

“So different I don't feel like myself anymore” she admitted. Nanaba had never had a particularly high self esteem, but after the childbirth in decreased even more. No wonder she kept talking and thinking that way.

“It's okay, you just need some time. Your body has changed so much, because it did something incredible. Nanaba, you made our baby. It was a great thing to do, took a lot of effort and a lot of changes. You can't expect to look still the same.”

“But I didn't think the changes would go this far and that going back to normal would take this long.”

“It's not long, it takes exactly as long as it should. You were pregnant for nearly a year, did you expect to go back to the state you were in before in one day?” he asked and she said nothing, but he hoped she would think about it. “How long does a postpartum period last?” he asked suddenly.

“You know this” she answered quietly.

“I do, but I want you to say it. So?” he watched her, waiting patiently. Nanaba sighed, giving up.

“About six weeks.”

“How long ago did you give birth?”

“Two weeks” she said like it was difficult for her to admit it.

“Which means you have about a month more to recover, right?”

“Fine. You won” she sighed.

“I don't want to win, I want you to understand that you can't rush your body. You have to accept that some things take time and it's never good to rush them. It would be unhealthy and very bad if your postpartum lasted for too short” he explained. His wife was looking at him for a moment.

“Alright. But how will you explain the fact that I don't love our baby?” she asked, ashamed of even saying it out loud.

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone kept saying that after the childbirth I would feel a lot of love for my child and that love would make me forget all the pain and effort. But it didn't happen. It's been two weeks and I still don't feel anything” she answered. Miche remained silent for a moment, he reached for the shampoo, squeezed out a bit and started washing his wife's hair. “Please, say something” Nanaba pleaded, her voice breaking with emotions.

“Oh, sorry. I'm just thinking if I've ever read about it.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“What? Of course not, why would I be mad?”

“Because I was supposed to love Flora, but when I look at her, I feel nothing. Obviously I don't want anything bad to happen to her, but I don't feel that overflowing love.”

“Nana, how long did it take for you to fall for me?” he asked finally, realizing what to say.

“What? What does it have to do with anything?” she asked with surprise, not understanding what he meant by this.

“Everything. You have trust issues, my love, you need time to form a bond with someone. You can't love Flora, because you simply don't know her and you can't love someone you don't know” he said. Nanaba stared at him with shock.

“She's my daughter, Miche, how can I not know her?” she asked, not quite convinced to her husband's point.

“But do you know her interests? Passions? Dreams? What she likes or dislikes? Do you know how is she like?”

“She's a baby.”

“She's another human being. Of course, we made her, but she's an individual, completely different person than us. And we needed a lot of time to get to know each other. She doesn't know us too. I'm sorry to say it, my love, but with your past it's understandable that you need more time to get to know people and you have to actively learn to trust them” he explained. Nanaba blinked a few times. Miche was right, his perspective was something new, something she hadn't thought about.

“So... You're saying that it's all a matter of time?” she asked with uncertainty, she was clearly thinking intensively about his words.

“Yes. You need time to get to know her, to form a bond with her, just like you did with me, Hanji, Erwin and everyone else.”

Nanaba stared at her beloved husband with shock. She was so drowned in her sadness and misery, that she forgot to think about the basic reasons of her feelings. What Miche told her was explaining everything. She had a hard time trusting people indeed, especially those she didn't know, which was caused by her traumatic experiences.

“Do you really think that when I get to know Flora I'm going to feel that motherly love I'm supposed to experience?” she asked with hesitation.

“Most likely. And if not, well, it's alright to ask for a professional help. Anything you need to feel better is okay” he smiled and kissed her.

Nanaba smiled as well, her husband really showed her a way to stop worrying, he gave her a very logical explanation of her behavior and feelings. This shower also helped to soothe her sore body, she felt much more relaxed and more at peace than before.

“Thank you, Miche” she said looking at the love of her life and for the first time in weeks her sad, tired eyes were shining with hope.

“You don't have to thank me. That's the least I can do for you, my love” he reassured her, turning the water off, reaching for the towels and wrapped first his wife, then himself. “Come on” he said, drying her off. “If we hurry, we might have some time for a little nap.”

[angel-tries-to-write]

Happy Birthday Levi

#LevihanChristmasCountdown

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LEVI!” his friends and family screamed when Hanji turned the light on. Everything was decorated with a mashup of Christmas and birthday decorations, the table was set with a lot of delicious food and a bunch of presents was cramped under the Christmas tree.

“And Merry Christmas!” Hanji laughed happily. Levi stared at everyone with surprise.

“So our amazing day was just an excuse to let them prepare a surprise party?” he asked.

“Of course not. It was a convenient coincidence. I wanted to give you a day full of relaxation you like the most, but I also wanted to throw you an awesome party. Luckily I have Erwin” they looked at their friend. “He organized a party, while I could just spend time with you” they explained.

“Well, I wasn’t alone in this. I had a lot of help from Kuchel, Nanaba, Moblit and Miche” Erwin said. “I wouldn’t have done much without them.”

“Well, we wouldn’t do much without your organization skills” Moblit stated. “And without Hanji’s idea. It’s because of them we did it in the first place.”

“Nah, it’s nothing” Hanji waved their hand. “I did nothing in fact, I just came up with this. All the work is their.”

“Alright. It doesn’t matter who did what. I want to thank every one of you, guys. I know I’m not saying this often, but I’m really happy to have you in my life” Levi said and only Hanji could easily tell how deeply moved he was. “But first of all I would like to thank the one person who was always my superhero. Someone whom I can’t stop admiring. Someone who had always been incredibly strong, no matter what” he said. Everyone half expected he was talking about his partner, but they had other idea about whom he was talking about. And it quickly turned out they were right. “Thank you, mom” Levi approached Kuchel and took her hands in his. “Without you I wouldn’t even exist. You taught me everything I needed to know. You taught me how to be a good man. You taught me how to love” he glanced quickly at his partner. “And if I ever was meant to be a parent, I would want to be as amazing as you are. Thank you, mama” he hugged his mother. Hanji choked on their tea, when they heard that last thing. Levi had never said anything about having a family in public, it was usually just between the two of them. Hanji knew he didn’t really want children, but he had nothing against them and if it ever turned out Hanji was pregnant, he would gladly accept the baby and raise them with love and care. Well, it looked like he was about to be even more surprised, so Hanji decided there was no reason to wait further.

“I’m so proud of you, my son” they heard Kuchel say as she hugged her only child tight. “I’m sure if you’re meant to be a father, you would be amazing.”

“Speaking of” Hanji casually walked to the Christmas tree, took a long, small box and handed it to their boyfriend. “I think you can open it now.”

“What is it?” he asked with curiosity.

“Another present I have for you, but you’ll have to wait some time before the actual unpacking” they joked as Levi ripped the wrapping paper. Usually he was unpacking the gifts carefully, but Hanji awoke his curiosity. Inside the box there was a piece of white and pink plastic with a small window filled with two black lines. Levi stared at it with disbelief.

“Is that…?”

“I’m sorry I haven’t told you sooner, I had a hard time acknowledging it. I hope you’re not angry” they said sheepishly.

“Are you kidding me?” Levi gave the pregnancy test to his mother and lifted his partner, spinning them around. “I couldn’t be more happy” he said when he put them back on their feet. Hanji laughed and tears filled their eyes when they looked at their boyfriend’s face. He was grinning. Levi Ackerman was never grinning, ever. “I'm going to be a dad!” he announced the news to his friends and the eruption of happiness that happened after that, clearly had to be heard from a long distance.

[angel-tries-to-write]

1 random thing to do

#LevihanChristmasCountdown

If Levi was told to choose the most random person he’d ever had an encounter with in his life, he would pick Hanji without missing a beat. They were the most spontaneous person in the entire world. Whether it was about a last minute trip or a surprise party, Hanji was down to anything that seemed even a little fun. It was impressive how flexible and good at improvisation they were, but it could also be a little overwhelming, especially to someone enjoying peace and good plans, like Levi. He wanted a nice, stable life filled with peace and quiet, which was challenging, considering that he lived with a person who was the embodiment of chaos.

Their friends were often surprised how well these two were getting along, despite being so different. The answer was patience. And a lot of talking. Without proper communication, they would never achieve any understanding and common ground. Though sometimes it was hard, especially when they had different opinions and ideas.

“Don’t make plans for tomorrow” Hanji told their partner one day. Specifically, two days before Christmas, when there was a lot of preparations to do.

“What? Couldn’t you have told me that a week ago?” he asked with annoyance.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know if everything was going to be set until today.”

“You know I don’t like unexpected things.”

“I said I’m sorry. This time it wasn’t my fault. Besides, it’s just an innocent surprise, I promise you’re going to love it.”

He highly doubted it, but he decided to trust his partner. They already knew what they should do and what they should avoid to make him happy, so he just sighed and went back to cleaning. If they had plans, he had to be done sooner than he was planning, not that it was particularly difficult.

The next day Hanji woke him up pretty early. It was Christmas Eve, normal people were cooking the last bits of their dinner. Levi didn’t have to, because they were going to spend their Christmas with their friends, so if everyone brought one or two dishes, it was more than enough. But that also meant Hanji could do their plans without much harm to the later celebration. So first they went hiking. They spent a few hours in the middle of nowhere, far from people, not even talking much, just cherishing the beauty of nature. Hanji knew their boyfriend didn’t really like people, so spending time away from them was calming and regenerating. When they were done with the trip, they sat for a while to have a picnic. The food was made by their friend Nanaba, which meant it had to be delicious, Nana was the best cook they knew. Then they went back to drink an amazing tea in one of the best tea shops in the city. The day ended with a spa trip, massages, sauna, swimming pool… It was perfect, they were staying there until late at night.

“So? What do you think? Was it worth getting out?” Hanji asked when they came back home a few minutes before midnight.

“Honestly? It was one of the best days in my life. Thank you, Hanji” Levi smiled slightly. Hanji took his hand before he entered the dark living room. “What?”

“Wait a minute” they said, looking at the clock until the hour changed to midnight. “There. Happy birthday, Levi” they smiled wide.

“I should have known you wanted to be the first one” he pulled them close and kissed. “Thank you, Hanji. It was the best birthday present I’ve ever got.”

“If I were you, I would wait with such opinions.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll see” they said mysteriously, leading him to the living room and switching the lights on.

[angel-tries-to-write]

2 teas to brew

#LevihanChristmasCountdown

The price of being Levi’s spouse wasn’t too high. All this man needed to be happy was a clean house, a clean partner and a good tea. And while Hanji struggled with the first two, they were a pro in the last one. It took a lot of time and effort, but soon they could make the most delicious tea Levi had ever had. He had no idea how they were doing it, but their tea was perfect. It was more perfect than his could ever be, and he knew everything about brewing tea. But the one Hanji was making always tasted the same, like the one his mom was making on the rare occasions she had an access to this luxury. Therefore, if it was going to be a good day, it always had to start with a cup of tea and a sweet kiss from Hanji. Sometimes they were separated due to their duties, Levi was always more grumpy then, as he didn’t have his morning ritual.

Hanji obviously knew about it, so one time when they came back from an expedition, they fought the urge to go to bed immediately. Instead they took a bath, then made two cups of tea and sneaked into Levi’s room. The sun hadn’t even risen, so it was still dark, but they put the teacups on the nightstand and sat on the bed. Levi looked so peaceful when he was asleep. Hanji wondered if he suffered from insomnia again, because his face looked really tired. They carefully touched his cheek and caressed it gently.

“Wake up, babe” they said quietly. It was almost a crime to wake Levi up, but they had a valid reason. They bent over and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“I don’t want to. This dream is too beautiful” he muttered, grabbing their hand and pressing it to his face even harder.

“It’s not a dream.”

Levi’s eyes fluttered open. In a faint light of that grey hour before dawn, he saw Hanji with their hair down and still a little wet from the bath, they also wore light, casual clothes and they didn’t have their glasses on.

“Hanji” he sat up and rubbed his eyes. “When did you come back?”

“An hour or so” they smiled and handed their lover a cup of tea. “I’m sorry I woke you up. I wanted to drink our tea before.”

“Before what?”

“Before I’ll go to watch the sunrise. You know I love them.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“But I want to. I missed you, Hanji.”

“I missed you too” they smiled and kissed him. Levi could feel the world coming back to normal with his daily ritual fulfilled.

“Aren’t you tired?” he asked suddenly, realizing that they had just come back and the first thing they did was taking a bath and bringing him tea.

“Honestly? I’m exhausted. But I wanted to drink this tea with you, watch the sunrise and then go to sleep” they admitted.

“You should take care of yourself more.”

“Sleep can wait. Sun can’t” they said, finished their tea and stood up. “Besides, you’re too important to me to wait for you until I rest. I needed to see you as soon as I could” they smiled. “Now hurry up or we’ll miss the sunrise.”

Levi finished his tea and got up as well, got dressed quickly and followed his partner to the rooftop. He couldn’t stop looking at them, marvelling their beauty. When Hanji was looking at the sun, which was flooding the world with red and golden light, he couldn’t tear his eyes off them, observing the colorful light dancing on their face, hair and lighting up their eyes.

“You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met” he whispered finally, when the sun was fully up. Hanji looked at him, their eyes shining with happiness.

“Let’s go back to bed, shall we?” they asked and he was happy to agree.