So it's been such a long time since I've posted anything in tumblr fandom. I mainly just stay in the shadows, enjoying everyone's posts and thoughts, but I feel like the recent articles from Millar and Gough need to pull me from the woodwork. I just feel so heartbroken over the whole thing and need to say something, because the show and it's campaign had begun to feel like a breath of fresh air and hope. This is a rather long post, so if you decide to read it, please bear with me. I needed to work through some peace, and I am hoping it might ease some of the others feelings I've seen creep up among other Wenclair shippers.
See, my wife and I have been together for years, (first as friends, then dating when we were teenagers), have been through a lot. We became "roommates" when I actually ended up living with her family for a few years due to a lot of family conflict ( Home and Away had me feeling some kind of way ). Either way, there are some things in Wednesday that are so nostalgic, right down to my bubbly blonde personality, and her the black haired introvert. It's quite nostalgic.
When we first watched it, we appreciated Tyler and the relationship that he seemed to be building with Wednesday, because it was edgy, and we know better than to hinge our hopes on a wlw. I recall thinking immediately upon his betrayal: "Ouch, I don't think you can come back from that", but Xavier also felt like such a belittling manchild, with whom she had no chemistry, but who seemed to feel he was "owed" her attention, and that sure was a trigger! Then that hug happened and we looked at each other and both of us agreed that their hug emotionally (and romantically) topped everything that they pushed with either boy and wondered if they might be teasing that route.
We didn't spend too much time on it back then as we were busy with our five year old and a newborn baby, so cutting ahead to three years later when we rewatched it, and then rewatched it again. It's been exciting to see the show, the media, the marketing strategies, and even the actors seem very supportive of queer representation. With such a huge following, they have a real safety net for exploration, should they be brave enough to take it. My ever rational wife reassures me, and I thought I might share in case it would provide any insight/reassurance to anyone else who feels so disheartened right now.
All interviews can be taken out of context, especially when quotes are used in articles in combination with author opinion.
Two people do not a show make.
Writers can write, but actors bring truth to the characters.
That without actually seeing season 2, everything is just conjecture, but it's an extremely effective marketing technique. Its the reason that Weyler and Wenclair swing back and forth in marketing. You always see some Weyler after a lot of Wenclair.
Trust that they aren't wrong that "it's everything people loved about season 1, but bigger".
Now get off social media because you (me) are ruining the experience!
Rationality aside, I'm still feeling really discouraged and hurt. What Millar said is painful, and it cuts at wounds that go beyond being sad a ship feels under attack. These wounds are systemically deep. Something that I think gets missed in the noise of Wenclair demands is that the queer community has always had no choice but to shout at the top of their lungs to be heard, because people have not listened and the fear that they will continue to not be heard is a very realistic one. No shipping community is free from toxicity, but there is something at the heart of this matter that goes deeper than "I want my ship to win".
Now, I know (and really appreciate) that there are many layers to Tyler and the character that he is. It is important to remember the things that he's faced. The manipulation tactics that he used that created the "push and pull" dynamic inside of her, make me intrinsically uncomfortable. The pain he inflicted upon her both directly and vicariously, through people she cared about stand as acts of abuse, in my personal opinion. I want to really impress that I have a lot of compassion (I work with troubled children actually) about Tyler and the shit deal that he's been handed, but at the end of the day abuse victims perpetuating abuse, does not make their abuse romantic or acceptable, no matter how many quips you add to it. It's not that I am opposed to a redemption arc, but I'd prefer it to not come at the cost of either character getting stuck circling their own darkness. While I think it would be nice to see Tyler find some peace, the show will have a really hard time selling it to me (and so many others) as romantic.
The brutal reality of what Millar has said and relayed by other journalists, is that it's absolutely nothing new to the queer community to be told "this couple that has caused each other so much pain, is still more acceptable than a wlw romance". The bottom line is it HURTS. He just triggered an entire community that is forever being told their feelings are not valid in the shadow of a straight relationship. To see the fragility of it, you only need to look at how vulnerable everyone is. You can have a thousand hints to a queer relationship, backed by queer coding (since it's not technically baiting until the show completes and the coding doesn't get acknowedged), and a single article is enough to make people feel as if they have "lost" in a game that isn't even over. On top of that, we are well familiar with being used as a marketing technique as companies bank on our numbers without payoffs. This homophobia stretches out into each painful comment that starts with: "I'm not homophobic but..." further wearing the queer community down by the narrative that "girls are allowed to just be friends" and "they are straight because they kissed boys". It ignores the reality that the sisterhood of wlw is built on the backs of best friendships, where friendship was the only thing they were allowed to be. Friendships that evolved into deeper and more intimate bonds as you started to realize that you looked at each other too long, or hugged each other in a way that symbolized you couldn't get close enough to one another, moving towards the gripping fear and realization that actually, you didn't want to live without this other person and maybe that meant you were in love.
The Wenclair ship is very real, and supported by hundreds of thousands of real experiences. Whether a show is willing to deep dive into it remains to be seen. If they are willing, everyone should be prepared for the long game. This means the show will need to dissect the feelings the girls have had for their male love interests (man, Enid's relationships as being systemic of comphet rings real loud to me), while the friendship deepens. This isn't a 'get together in season 2 or 3', this is a final hour kind of relationship, and until I hope they handle is with a little more care. Likewise, I hope the Wenclair community can seek validation in ways that are kind and respectful, despite that honestly...raging has always been the thing to push change, so I don't know.
In the meantime, like Jenna said: "In a perfect world we would have been together". If my own experiences are anything to go off, in a perfect world the best friends who live as roommates that form a deep connection do get together. Despite homophobia, comphet relationships, and even confusing heterosexual attraction. In my case, we grew up, got married as soon as it was legalized, and are living life like we scored an extended sleepover with our best friend. Now we have two young children, one of whom talked us into letting him watch Wednesday. His favorite character is Eugene, and I will never forget the look of pure joy on his face when he saw that his favorite character had two moms. Representation matters! Keep supporting and fighting the good fight, which I hope can be done in a respectful manner that makes even the most oppositional writer see the merit in what we have to say. In the meantime, if you feel disheartened, know that it's okay to step away from social media, block people who do not serve your happiness, and enjoy the show from the comfort of your own perspective.
If you stayed through this, many thanks. If not, it just feels good to get it out. I hope my wife is right about season 2 (she usually is) and that the actual show itself will be far more satisfying than the whiplash the that the marketing team has been weaponizing against us, ALL of us, because at this point its the whiplash that's killing us, not the suspense.
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