Don't you just love when you are feeling OK, and then all of a sudden your brain reminds you what a miserable failure you are? Couldn't be me right now.
Husk:Â Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake.
Vaggie:Â You are literally making a Valentine's Day card for Angel Dust.
Husk, pointing his hot glue gun towards Vaggie:Â Youâre on thin fucking ice.
5. No murder (OR TERRITORIAL GENOCIDE WHAT THE FUCK ANGEL)
6. No smuggling in of drugs. Not by sticking them up your ass. Or by hiding them in a pizza box. Or by slingshotting them to the roof. Or getting someone else to. Not at all.
7. No sexual rendezvous with outsiders in the hotel. No SHOWING sexual rendezvous with strangers to people of the hotel either.
8. Make sure the pig/future pets stay in the patronâs room. (This includes eggs!!)
9. No singing Limit singing to once twice per day
10. Stop flirting with the bartender Angel
11. Donât call Husk âHuskerâ unless he allows it.
12. No harassing the staff at all. This includes asking who tops.
13. Donât suggest anything sexual/romantic to Alastor unless you want your head cut off.
14. NO CUTTING OFF PEOPLEâS HEADS
15. NO EATING PEOPLE
16. NO MAKING CHARLIE CRY.
17. Donât ask me to put my spear âinside youâ Angel, what the fuck?
18. Donât turn the interior of the hotel into a swamp?! Keep it contained in your room if you must!
19. No stabbing staff or residents. No matter how much they look like bugs! (OR IF THEYRE NAME IS ANGEL)
20. Donât try and stab bugs if theyâre within 10 feet of another demon.
21. Donât call anyone a âbitchâ OR TALK ABOUT HOW MY NAME SOUNDS LIKE âVAGINAâ
22. Limit Nifftyâs access to sharp objects.
23. NO DEALS ALASTOR
24. No drinking. Limit drinking at bar.
25. No mentioning the Stock Market Crash of 1929. For everyoneâs benefit.
26. Donât blow a hole in the wall.
27. Try to keep roast battles OUTSIDE the hotel. (Or stop picking fights?? Please Alastor I swear to GodâŚ)
28. No spying on the hotel for outside sources or putting technology that can be used against us.
29. No evil laughing in the middle of the night, what the fuck Alastor?
30. No building weapons/war machines.
31. No eggs! (Fine the eggs can stay.)
32. Someone please keep an eye on Niffty. (And the eggs.)
33. Stop touching people ANGEL.
34. Donât make other people storm off HUSK.
35. Respect boundaries.
36. If Angel looks like heâs about to pass out/cry donât comment. Let him do his thing.
37. Please donât call Lucifer âDaddyâ
38. Donât turn into a 20 foot tall demon-eating creature unless absolutely necessary.
39. Donât cause angry loan sharks to show up at the front door.
40. NO EXPLOSIONS!
41. Rule #2, âNo fightsâ can be broken if the person youâre fighting is Valentino. Or Adam.
42. Donât lie to your girlfriend or hide the fact you were secretly an angel.
43. DONT TALK ABOUT PEOPLEâS TITS (or lack of)
44. KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING A BEDROOM ESPECIALLY IF SOMEONEâS HAVING MAKEUP SEX
45. Donât give people makeovers while theyâre sleeping, ANGEL!
46. Donât pretend to eat someoneâs pet, ALASTOR
47. Donât die.
48. I never want to hear the words âcum-pleteâ again.
49. STOP HAVING FIGHTS ACROSS THE BUILDING LUCIFER AND ALASTOR!!
50. If Charlie is passed out on the couch LET HER SLEEP
51. No making bombs in the hotel Cherri!
52. Stop breaking rules and then saying itâs âFOR SIR PENTIOUS!â
53. Angel donât try to shoot someone if they break spaghetti.
54. Donât break spaghetti. Or âruinâ Italian food. Whatever the fuck that means. This apparently includes pineapple on pizza.
55. Donât mention Valentino unless Angel brings him up first.
56. Donât comment on Angel and Huskâs flirting.
57. Only call Angel âAnthonyâ if things are serious (or if youâre Husk)
58. Donât use any of the nicknames Husk and Angel use for each other. This includes but is not limited to: âWhiskersâ, âLegsâ, âKittyâ, âWebsâ, âTonyâ, âLoveâ, and âBaby.â
59. Itâs better not to question whatever facts Husk gives about his past.
60. Family dinners at 6 pm unless you canât make it due to prior obligation. Game nights after on Sundays.
61. No hunting people for sport and NO KNIFE MONOPOLY.
62. Donât attach knives to a roomba so you can have a âboyfriendâ Niffty.
63. Keep Niffty away from Roombas.
64. Alastor, treat people with decency. Really, itâs not that hard.
65. No making giant ducks that breathe fire to chase people around the hotel just because they call you short.
66. Therapy. Everyone.
67. DONT HAVE SEX ON THE BAR WHAT THE FUCK GUYS?!
68. If Valentino enters the property you have permission to stab him.
69. âHell is foreverâ is bullshit. You guys arenât. You can do this.
kianamaiart
gummygunk
vaporwave
stormborns
