bigger than anything ever
cw: gagging, mentions of throwing up, anxiety spell
sunoo's birthday party had been a topic of conversation amongst the friend groups for weeks. gifts, time and place, carpooling, who was supplying the drinks etc- every conversation one could think of when planning a huge 22nd birthday party. between plans and blurred conversation yn found herself in a state of flight shock rather than fun shock. her mouth was dry, head so clouded up by genuine, anxious surprise that she should barely see where she was going.
she hit someone's shoulder hard. two soft hands already gripping her own and shaking her vigorously before she even realized the birthday boy himself was tweaking the fuck out over seeing yn.
"yn! oh my god-." the sweet boy hiccuped, giving yn a bone crushing hug that she actually would've enjoyed under differing circumstances. "Jake said to find you for shot-o-clock but I told him that shit sounds stupid- wait what's wrong?"
"nothing sunoo, im just… umm." yn deadpanned, a dry laugh escaping her lips as she tried her best to hide the stormy weather that was her current state of mind. she itched at the inside of her arm, the nervous tick flaring up its ugly head as anxiety settled into the lining of her stomach. "yeah, i’m just nauseous"
sunoo's face soured instantly, his lips creasing into an alcohol induced pout at the mere thought of his friend being nauseous.
"do you need anything? ginger ale? crackers? is it your pots?"
yn didn't respond, the bubble of anxiety pushing its way up and out of her throat as she choked back a gag. where the hell was he? he couldn't possibly-
she gagged harder, making a beeline for the bathroom directly adjacent in the hallway. the nerves were winning, making her pots flare up on top of it all. she groaned, fighting back a forceful gag and the torrent of emotions threatening to crush her lungs into tiny little pieces. she was fucking pissed, confused and most of all scared. these weren't her friends, this wasn't her house, this wasn't her circle of people and this sure as hell didnt feel real. tears fought their way into the corners of her eyes, an irritated growl leaking past her lips at the notion.
sunoo's soft hand rubbed her back as she gaged with no relief over his guest bathroom toilet, his gentle comforting words of encouragement falling upon ringing ears as an anxiety induced flareup tore through her nervous system. she groaned in genuine defeat, forehead smacking roughly against the marble seat making sunoo wince.
the words echoed in her ringing ears, footsteps vibrating through the floor against her knees as several pairs of shoes pounded against the hardwood floor.
yn closed her eyes, breathing exercises kicking in like muscle memory as she tried to take back control of her own body but to no avail. familiar hands cupped her cheek, turning her face into the direction of a concerned sunghoon. he shook his head in sympathy, one singular click of his tongue being the only audible thing yn could hear before her ears shorted out a with a god awful ear searing pitch. shortness of breath, nausea and blurry vision making it hard to understand him as he spoke to her in a soft (uncharacteristic) tone.
"I'm gonna take you home. okay?"
yn nodded, dazed and heavy headed as her forehead fell into sunghoon's awaiting palm. he sighed, used to the fact but that didn't stop him from feeling any less bad for his already stressed out roommate. so with a heave of her body and an awkward "bye, thanks." he left the party behind, just as confused as the small crowd of heeseung's friends watching him.
the car ride home was silent, yn asleep against the window as exhaustion smacked her like a freight train. rain poured heavy, matching the current mood of the pair and her own internal confusion on what the hell just happened. sure there had been intense discussion or disagreements in the relationship before but the heavy, sinking feeling in her chest couldn't help but scream to her that there wasn't coming back from what had just happened at that party.
they made it inside, courtesy of sunghoon's arm and shoulder, with a disgruntled conjoined sigh. sunghoon dumped yn gently on the couch, an almost chastising look on his face.
"why the hell did I get a random call from ning of all people saying you needed me, where was hee-."
"don't" yn croaked, interrupting sunghoon with an expression he'd never seen before. genuine anguish written all over her features made him stop in his tracks with a single nod.
"okay, sorry." he sighed, hands on his hips with an exasperated stance.
yn's phone buzzed beside her on the couch, neither of them bothering to look to see who it was. context clues and reading between the lines was sunghoon's special talent and the more he observed the more icked out he got at the fact his friend was left alone in a house full of people who weren't her friends. regardless of the fact, a sense of peace found yn at the thought he even cared.݁ᛪ༙
the wait is over and i’m so grateful for the patience and support on this little blurb. i heart you guys thank you i absolutely suck at writing written portions of fic but this is plot filled and not like good mourning lol so some parts must be written out please bear with me guys. and also! please be advised that you will get irritated reading this but its ok bc it will be funny I promise
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