safe ship, harbored

to the world we dream about, and the one we live in now.

[fruitthing]

one last thought, if you live as a disabled person person who relies on "good will", you have to always be kind and thankful and never show any irritation or criticise the help (even if it's not very helpful!), never be frustrated about your own disability, never ask for too many things in a row, because otherwise that good will can be revoked. be gracious and polite but not too needy! always have a positive outlook. never make people feel uncomfortable by struggling in front of them. definitely don't complain ever at all, even when the people showing you "good will" are complaining about you. et cetera. it's exhausting.

[traumasurvivors]

I know it might be hard to believe after the way you’ve been raised, but you don’t exist to please your parents. You don’t exist to make them happy or for them to live vicariously through you.

You are your own person and it’s okay to live your life with that in mind.

[notabled-noodle]

when I say “everyone’s on their own timeline”, I mean it.

there’s no right age to learn something by. there’s no right age to be settled down, to move out of home, or to start your own family. there’s no right age to start working, if you work at all. there’s no right age to graduate.

life isn’t a series of boxes you need to tick. do things at your own pace. slow down if you need to. it’s okay.

[calware]

they should invent parallel play but for everything

[calware]

things that are so so so important to me:

being in the same space as someone or multiple people

doing an enjoyable activity

no pressure to talk

[2-point-5]

frankly, having mutuals has ruined me. i can't see a train without immediately going "ohh, my train mutual would love this," or hearing someone talk about a celebrity without going "that's the man my mutual wants to tie up and put in a deep fryer."

[annabellioncourt]

In the tags tell the mutual you reblogged from what kind of mutual they are to you.

[pxppet]

Mute people are humans worthy of respect.

Non-speaking people are humans worthy of respect.

Semi-speaking people are humans worthy of respect.

People with disorganized speech are humans worthy of respect.

Deaf people who don't speak are humans worthy of respect.

Autistic, disabled, mentally ill and all of it. We deserve to be treated like and thought of as real people with as much to offer as other humans. The lack of speech doesn't make us "useless" or "stupid" or "like talking to a lamp." Mute people of any kind have just as many thoughts and feelings and actions to offer as those who speak.

Life is still worthwhile and peace and happiness are attainable for us. We will find people who care to make the effort for us to be understood. You will feel yourself breathe softly again some day. You deserve it.

[imnotgonnaletyougo-archived]

shout out to aroace spectrum people in general but i wanna say also: shout out to aroace spectrum people who are currently exploring romantic and/or sexual relationships.

[traumasurvivors]

Here’s a reminder that if your parents/guardians were ones that threatened to “send you away” anytime you acted out or didn’t live up to their expectations, this was wrong and you deserved so much better. 

If you have trauma because of it, your trauma is valid. This sort of emotionally abusive tactic from parents/guardians can make a child feel that their love is conditional and can also make a child feel they can and deserve to be discarded if they do something wrong. I want you to know that you should never have been made to feel that way and that it’s okay to make mistakes. You deserved so much better than this. 

[arospecvibes]

i know this has been talked about before but it’s weird how aspecs will automatically have other forms of attraction “prioritized” by others

as in, do you ever wonder, why are alloaros seen as sex-crazy predators always hitting on others, why are alloaces seen as pure uwu super romantic innocent softies, why are aroaces seen as robots unable to feel anything at all, and why are non-sam aros and non-sam aces seen as confusing?

it’s just... really weird, it’s honestly never made any sense to me, and i really think it just shows how the world sees our identities as a “lack” that needs to be made up for. if aspecs themselves want to focus on attraction they feel, they can and should 100% do that, but every time someone else does that for us, from what i’ve seen, it’s not helpful at all.

okay, maybe we don’t feel this or that attraction; at the same time, some of us might feel other forms, some might not. that’s really all that there is to it. i don’t see why it’s so confusing.

[traumasurvivors]

Forgiveness is a personal choice. It is not up to anyone else to decide whether you forgive someone or not. And whether you decide to forgive someone or not forgive someone, you are valid. 

[welcome-to-the-petting-zoo]

I think the idea that polyamory is inherently less committed stems partially from the idea of romantic superiority in relationships.

Like, it seems that a lot of people have this idea that you have one (1) romantic partner, and that this is THE relationship in your life, with all friendships etc being secondary. That must be the case, otherwise I see no reason why they wouldn't be able to fathom commitment in polyamory.

This is part of why aromantic people and polyamorous people have so many fights in common. If people didn't sort relationships into hierarchies, if they didn't think the bonds between a friendgroup were inherently weaker than those between romantic partners, then they would likely not have as much trouble understanding people who choose to have several, or no, partners.

"isn't a polycule just a glorified friendgroup?" Well, Susan, first of all, no, second off, friendgroups are already glorious?!

[conversation16]

hey so it’s march now aka the beginning of endometriosis awareness month and i feel obligated to remind you that debilitatingly painful periods are not normal. if you or someone you know is ending up sick or bedridden every month, you are not crazy and deserve medical attention from someone who will take you seriously

[creatinghelen]

all I want is to make others feel safe and comfortable, and to be around people who make me feel safe and comfortable.

[sunshineysprinkles]

being strong and being vulnerable are not mutually exclusive. you're still just as tough when you're crying and struggling as you are when you're holding your head high. you're allowed to reach out for help and to rely on others even if you're used to being the rock for others. sharing your emotions and issues takes a great amount of courage when you're not used to confiding in others!

[flirty-milk]

So many things I’m learning to live with, live without, and live through.

[traumasurvivors]

You can still love and/or care for a person while acknowledging that what they did to you was wrong and shouldn’t have happened.

[sunlitsuggestions]

you aren't lost, you're learning who you are. you're still here & growing & changing. stagnation is a feeling, not a state of being. don't let it drag you to the ground.