i am not OK, don't ask again

chaotic neutral trying hard to be lawful good | sideblog full of triggers, swears and grinding teeth | i hate capitalism, heteronormativism with all of its related shit, humanity as it is and living in this sick world | but i will live and nag and bother people unless i can take them with me to hell

[angrybearrants]

I am expected to be:

aggressive

untrustworthy

conceited

predatory

and so much more, because I was considered a man since birth and, despite taking a lot of time to question myself about it, still identify as one. No, this is not a "not all men" rant. Men can be absolutely shitty. Men will defend each other's atrocities all too often. I feel disgusted by being put in the same category as the scumbags I read about, the assholes I meet. I don't think I've ever had a true, solid friendship with another man. I've been raised in a way that didn't make me fulfill expectations for either side of the binary (unfortunately).

And yet. I'm forced to exist under this label even as I actively struggle against the same character flaws other men consider their "manliness".

Should I give up on calling myself a man? Should I throw away the word that has always been my identity? Will that lighten the chunk of lead that always appears in the pit of my stomach when people i respect say "don't expect men to be more than lying sacks of shit", "all men are rapists waiting for their chance"? Wouldn't that make me exactly what they expect - a fake, trying to fit in so those around me lower their guard?

I don't want this. I can't be this. In the end, I'm a man and I hate myself for it.

[angrybearrants]

Well, this fear of mine sure resurfaced at a fun time. Reading some radicals' comments on tumblr once again made me wonder if cutting off my balls would appease them, before reaching the conclusion that no, of course it wouldn't. It's not a specific part of masculinity they hate - it's the very existence of masculinity as an even abstract idea. The world they want is one of cis women only, without even a notion of anything beyond... and at that point, I'm pretty sure, they'd start moving the goalposts to ensure that only the "right kind" of cis women remain. Five bucks say "white, culturally christian, practically atheist" would be some sort of milestone on the way.

[fthgurdy]

Radfems are hideous. There's no rational or compassionate debate with them. It's infuriating to find them attached in any way to feminism like shit to a good, useful shoe. When I was growing up and had to find ways to combat the misogyny that affected me, feminism was responding to things in a way I needed. But then there's a pernicious moment when the response is taken too far, and you find yourself betrayed. And you have to figure it out, because you're right in the middle with your honesty, with misogynist assholes on one side doing everything to destroy women, and radfems on the other side trying to destroy men. Those shitheads are exploiting every single victim of misogyny to support their ideology of hating men. They just write all men off as a lost cause. Nope, according to them, a good man can't exist, a man can't improve, a man can't resist corruption, a society that has men (or indeed anyone who isn't cis female) in it is never going to be healthy. What the fuck even is that concept??

[angrybearrants]

...and then they continue to their (insane-troll-)logical conclusion that anyone "in between" (as FARTs see it) is an abomination to be destroyed. Trans women? Impostors, infiltrators from the Evil side! Trans men? Traitors who chose to become one with Evil! Nonbinary? What even is this devilry, you can be either A Woman or Evil, there is no other option!

Reductivity like this has been a plague as long as humanity has existed, and it's only getting more destructive with every generation.

[angrybearrants]

I am expected to be:

aggressive

untrustworthy

conceited

predatory

and so much more, because I was considered a man since birth and, despite taking a lot of time to question myself about it, still identify as one. No, this is not a "not all men" rant. Men can be absolutely shitty. Men will defend each other's atrocities all too often. I feel disgusted by being put in the same category as the scumbags I read about, the assholes I meet. I don't think I've ever had a true, solid friendship with another man. I've been raised in a way that didn't make me fulfill expectations for either side of the binary (unfortunately).

And yet. I'm forced to exist under this label even as I actively struggle against the same character flaws other men consider their "manliness".

Should I give up on calling myself a man? Should I throw away the word that has always been my identity? Will that lighten the chunk of lead that always appears in the pit of my stomach when people i respect say "don't expect men to be more than lying sacks of shit", "all men are rapists waiting for their chance"? Wouldn't that make me exactly what they expect - a fake, trying to fit in so those around me lower their guard?

I don't want this. I can't be this. In the end, I'm a man and I hate myself for it.

[angrybearrants]

Well, this fear of mine sure resurfaced at a fun time. Reading some radicals' comments on tumblr once again made me wonder if cutting off my balls would appease them, before reaching the conclusion that no, of course it wouldn't. It's not a specific part of masculinity they hate - it's the very existence of masculinity as an even abstract idea. The world they want is one of cis women only, without even a notion of anything beyond... and at that point, I'm pretty sure, they'd start moving the goalposts to ensure that only the "right kind" of cis women remain. Five bucks say "white, culturally christian, practically atheist" would be some sort of milestone on the way.

[angrybearrants]

To all the Brits going "this Belarus/Poland stuff is EU business, we're no longer in the EU so why are we supposed to care":

This is not about economics, it's about a non-NATO country using a humanitarian crisis to test the borders and potentially provoke an armed conflict with a NATO country. You are still NATO members and have obligations to your allies. So how about you shut up, Bert/Margaret, and actually try to prevent another world war instead of sitting on your asses and complaining like you did in 1939.

[angrybearrants]

It's almost like whatever I do is worthless, because it brings no change and besides could've been done better

[angrybearrants]

I am expected to be:

aggressive

untrustworthy

conceited

predatory

and so much more, because I was considered a man since birth and, despite taking a lot of time to question myself about it, still identify as one. No, this is not a "not all men" rant. Men can be absolutely shitty. Men will defend each other's atrocities all too often. I feel disgusted by being put in the same category as the scumbags I read about, the assholes I meet. I don't think I've ever had a true, solid friendship with another man. I've been raised in a way that didn't make me fulfill expectations for either side of the binary (unfortunately).

And yet. I'm forced to exist under this label even as I actively struggle against the same character flaws other men consider their "manliness".

Should I give up on calling myself a man? Should I throw away the word that has always been my identity? Will that lighten the chunk of lead that always appears in the pit of my stomach when people i respect say "don't expect men to be more than lying sacks of shit", "all men are rapists waiting for their chance"? Wouldn't that make me exactly what they expect - a fake, trying to fit in so those around me lower their guard?

I don't want this. I can't be this. In the end, I'm a man and I hate myself for it.

[angrybearrants]

There's one thing more stupid than breaking quarantine, and that's breaking quarantine but having your quarantine papers with you. You want something even dumber? Same as before but you wave those papers in somebody's face to provide your contact information.

[thecraftybear]

I hate these small business "liberals" getting off on breaking public safety regulations "because they interfere with their freedom" and on belittling other people - especially anyone working for someone else instead of "working for themselves" (read: leaching off other people's hard work).

Case in point: the slimy potato face who chose the last minutes of my shift to do his shopping. No mask, check. Refusal to wear mask because "it's unlawful and the government is so chickenshit they'll declare martial law soon just to oppress people", check. Not accepting refusal of service "because we can't do that", check (because double standards are awesome). Ssying we can call the police, knowing damn well we're ending our shift (because the manager said so in his presence - and can't wait for the cops to make time for some brainless plague walker) - check.

Unfortunately, the unlawful (if perhaps just) thing was to smash his face and kick him out. And corporate exploitation aside, we are a lawful company with certain standards and PR to think about - unlike this half-anonymous fucker, who will most likely score a few beers from his fellow zombies when he tells them how he owned those chickenshit retail drones by refusing to wear a mask AND getting served anyway.

[fthgurdy]

This country, which has seen SO much abuse from the government over the decades, now has people who think wearing a mask to protect people from a global pandemic is oppressive. Because they need the freedom to cough and spit on others.

They’re really an insult to all those people who got shot at and beaten to death during ACTUAL martial law because they were fighting for ACTUAL freedom.

I wonder if you told such a customer that it’s better to wear a mask because then the government can’t track him, would that work?

Maybe he’s the kind who also ignores traffic laws. Tbh I wouldn’t be surprised.

[angrybearrants]

Unfortunately the guy seemed more like the usual down-to-earth asshole libek than a foliarz. I'm sure he knew perfectly well he was talking absolute bs and probably had an inkling of everything you just said. He was just being obnoxious on purpose, because you know, it's our Polish tradition to answer to nobody on one's home turf and disregard local rules on any other. Złota wolność and all that bullshit.

On days like this I'm pretty convinced Poland has no future and the only thing keeping other countries from wiping us off the map again is pity mixed with schadenfreude.

(Or maybe the fact that, as history shows, we become an actual threat to others in these situations, instead of only ourselves.)

[fthgurdy]

Wolna szlachta, ja pierdolę. I’ve got a close family friend with Covid in the hospital right now and he’s legitimately in danger of dying from the fever which won’t go down. If he survives he will probably never recover his full health.If I’d been at that checkout I would have called the police myself. Even if the guy called me a kapuś.

Your management is also not really doing its job here, is it? You can get fined for not wearing a mask in public places right now, so they should have kicked him out. What’s he gonna do, sue?

#yes i made that blog#hopefully my main blog will now take a positive turn#since i'll dump all my angriest and riskiest takes here

Good strategy.

[angrybearrants]

It was some 10 minutes before the end of our shift, and calling the police would mean having to wait for them, without clocking out - because at that point we'd no longer be at work, undermining our reason to call the police. ("If you could just clock out and leave the problem to somebody else, why did you bother us?")

But not locking out would mean working overtime and probably getting some sort of disciplinary action from above in the chain. The guy threatened to not leave until he got service

And course we had no way to remove him from the premises - even if the security guy hadn't gone home already, manhandling an active covid threat is far beyond his job description. Our shift ended 90 minutes before closing time, so we didn't even have that excuse to shoo him out.

This morning I learned one of my friends in Poland and her husband tested positive. I told him about that, in a weak attempt to make him realise that we're talking about an actual threat to actual people, and not some vague, abstract thing. He didn't give a shit about that, either.

Civility is wasted on such people. He doesn't care about social responsibility or anything like that, according to what his own words. He believes himself above the law. "He's not gonna accept the citation from the cops anyway".

A product of our society, unfit for any society.

[thecraftybear]

I hate these small business "liberals" getting off on breaking public safety regulations "because they interfere with their freedom" and on belittling other people - especially anyone working for someone else instead of "working for themselves" (read: leaching off other people's hard work).

Case in point: the slimy potato face who chose the last minutes of my shift to do his shopping. No mask, check. Refusal to wear mask because "it's unlawful and the government is so chickenshit they'll declare martial law soon just to oppress people", check. Not accepting refusal of service "because we can't do that", check (because double standards are awesome). Ssying we can call the police, knowing damn well we're ending our shift (because the manager said so in his presence - and can't wait for the cops to make time for some brainless plague walker) - check.

Unfortunately, the unlawful (if perhaps just) thing was to smash his face and kick him out. And corporate exploitation aside, we are a lawful company with certain standards and PR to think about - unlike this half-anonymous fucker, who will most likely score a few beers from his fellow zombies when he tells them how he owned those chickenshit retail drones by refusing to wear a mask AND getting served anyway.

[fthgurdy]

This country, which has seen SO much abuse from the government over the decades, now has people who think wearing a mask to protect people from a global pandemic is oppressive. Because they need the freedom to cough and spit on others.

They’re really an insult to all those people who got shot at and beaten to death during ACTUAL martial law because they were fighting for ACTUAL freedom.

I wonder if you told such a customer that it’s better to wear a mask because then the government can’t track him, would that work?

Maybe he’s the kind who also ignores traffic laws. Tbh I wouldn’t be surprised.

[angrybearrants]

Unfortunately the guy seemed more like the usual down-to-earth asshole libek than a foliarz. I'm sure he knew perfectly well he was talking absolute bs and probably had an inkling of everything you just said. He was just being obnoxious on purpose, because you know, it's our Polish tradition to answer to nobody on one's home turf and disregard local rules on any other. Złota wolność and all that bullshit.

On days like this I'm pretty convinced Poland has no future and the only thing keeping other countries from wiping us off the map again is pity mixed with schadenfreude.

(Or maybe the fact that, as history shows, we become an actual threat to others in these situations, instead of only ourselves.)