[chimchams]

namjoon waiting for you at the bar ♡

[leonsgf-deactivated20190426]

he is literally leaving

[fluffcar]

He’s had enough of those delusional stans

[catchymemes]

[sigynpenniman]

as an IT person I would like to sue this screen for emotional damages

[rissa-posts]

Thought this was the post, and was like “yeah that makes sense”

[cristalplanetheart]

😻

[badgertastic]

i absolutely lost my mind

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

How did... how did it turn around in there...

[pixeljade]

[borderlineasshole]

yeah I’m totally fine I just need to set myself on fire

[gredegi]

@allison-yue Ray be like

[fluffcar]

YOU DID NOT- 😭😭😭

[angrycockatielchan]

💀💀💀

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

*Italian guy throwing a blogger into a trash compactor while smoking a cigar*

there’s ya friggin’ man crush monday ya fucking computer idiot 

[peach-foxgloves]

I have been looking for this post for YEARS.

[colestyle-deactivated20231123]

sending people wikipedia articles is my favorite form of humor. one time a long time friend of mine asked why i was using a different name and acting different i sent him the wikipedia page for DID. ryder just asked me why its 108 degrees in nevada right now and i sent him the wikipedia page for global warming and the season of summer.

[colestyle-deactivated20231123]

i see you all in the tags going "this is so funny" you better not steal my fucking bit. im copyrighting this joke

[jrwiyuri]

Plagiarism - Wikipedia

[colestyle-deactivated20231123]

you cant do this to me

[skeleton-monarch]

Unintended consequences - Wikipedia

Unintended consequences - Wikipedia

[aropride]

im so srs humans were made for art and friend and food and beddy bye. i mean this

[aropride]

and help each other. humans were made for help each other

[kaijuno]

Pls tell me you didnt touch a wild bat

Pls

I did! And I have before to release them in the wild because they are little babies and they need help sometimes 

[kaijuno]

One landed in our pond once and couldn’t take off because he was all wet so I netted him out and put him on the rocks to dry and even after a few hours he hadn’t taken off so I picked him up and kind of tossed him and he flew away

[thatnoulguyorsomething]

This bitch dry

YEET

[fxlthyangxl-deactivated20240122]

[webscene-remade]

answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre conversation

[webscene-remade]

scam caller: hello, how are you today?

me: great!

scam caller: good. I’m calling because your IP address has been compromised. I’ll just need you to get in front of your computer so we can get your account fixed up.

me: okay! there is one thing I’m wondering, though

scam caller: what?

me: you really couldn’t think of a better lie?

scam caller:

me: like, my “IP address has been compromised.” How, exactly, does an IP address become “compromised”?

scam caller:

me: I was just wondering, is all

scam caller: why did you answer?

me:

me: what?

scam caller: if you knew this wasn’t a legitimate call, then why did you answer?

me: oh, I just though I would have some fun at your expense.

scam caller: what expense? talking is no expense to me.

me: well, you’re currently not accomplishing your goal

scam caller: my goal?

me: your goal of scamming my elderly grandmother. You’re not accomplishing that. I’d call that an expense.

scam caller: well, can I scam you?

me:

me: did you- did you ask if you can scam me?

scam caller: yes. can I scam you?

me, baffled: sure, you can try

scam caller: you need to get in front of your computer

me: yeah, that’s still a problem. I’m eating tater tots right now and I really don’t feel like getting up.

scam caller: okay. I will call you tomorrow morning, then.

me: I might not answer. My grandma definitely won’t.

scam caller: You answered today.

me: …touché?

scam caller: I will call you tomorrow. Have a good day.

[marioyuri-moved-to-transkaito]

Enemies to lovers, slow burn, 500K

[lordterronus]

This reads like a bit from a British sketch comedy.

[kaijuno]

COW BAT COW BAT COW BAT

[kaijuno]

It’s not the most popular but it is the most important post I’ve ever made

[grapefruiters]

things could be worse. you could have school tomorrow.

[brainless-moe-white-lotus]

OOoohhh the players on those app game ads suck so bad!!! The way they're fucking up that lady's outfits on her Prince date! The way they're dumping lava on the man in the dungeon! Ooooh I just can't stand it!

[stimman4000]

.

[adranova]

Me: Oooo, rocks on my dash? Yes please

Me a second later:

[jackross-v]

[futuredaysbycan]

[vollmetall-deleting-deactivated]

reblog this and put in the tags what comes up when you type “die”

[aeonlamb]

whats a gender neutral word you could use for your spouse? wusband?? hife?? wifesband?!?!?

[aeonlamb]

i may be stupid

[vapid-gay]

This is the text version of looking for your glasses when they are on your head