Alternate version

shark vs the universe
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

ellievsbear
hello vonnie
Game of Thrones Daily
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Fai_Ryy

@theartofmadeline

Game Changer & Make Some Noise

bliss lane
taylor price

titsay
Show & Tell
Today's Document

Jimmy Eat World
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
noise dept.
The Bright Sessions
Phantogram Three
seen from Colombia
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@animeaddict578
Alternate version
"THIS IS A-ABSOLUTELY *NOT* A-A DATE!!!"
My GabV1el fan VN is complete! (۶•̀ᴗ•́)۶
Navigate a hypothetical post-canon not-date with one suspiciously flustered archangel - pick from silly dialogue options, earn sillier +BONUSES, and listen to him yap about everything from favourite foods to past mistakes to his totally irrelevant relationship status why would you even ask about that machine.
Things you can do in this game: - Call him gay - Break the fourth wall - Get a P-rank - Show him tumblr - Remain silent - Acquire one (1) angel
Things you can't do in this game: - idk pretty much anything else, this isn't Ultrakill
Playable in-browser or downloadable for a smoother experience :) > https://artchive.itch.io/deus-x-machina
--- Notes: - Free to play & download - Not built for mobile devices; desktop recommended for proper sizing and rendering - Downloadable for Windows computers - Linux/Mac-compatible builds can be provided on request
went to throw dog poop away in a rando trash can and
Plz tell me you took him home and have a new per gengar.
i'm not qualified to provide adequate enrichment for a trash gengar also I know for a fact he was recently hit in the face with a bag of dog poop
it just started raining this is really doing a number on my object personification
໒( ●ܫฺ ●)ʋ
Jesus fucking Christ
jesus fucking christ
Update please I am begging you
ok but you’re not gonna like it
mid spa break to drain in the sink
sir
please
the family requests that trash gengar's privacy be respected during this difficult time
drying in the sun
Thank you for giving him a home! :) (Sorry if this has already been done, already. I couldn't just leave this post alone.)
Omgggggggg
Plushie Rescue
Just recently got into ainz x jircniv and i am so cooked, there is little to no content of them
Omegaverse Overlord AU
With some Jircniv x Ainz on the side for the shippers . We are also just going to assume Momonga started playing shortly after his mothers death at 12 as a way to cope so he ends up being 24 which is only 2 years older than his soon to be boyfriend/husband . Also if you haven't read “Undead Embrace" on ao3 i strongly recommend you do now .
With Momonga as the (very brooding) sole parental figure of Nazarick
Who just happened to a Omega
In a word in which secondary genders other than Beta are rather rare , how rare you might ask . Around the same spawn rate as gen 1 shiny aka technically a lot of them but the normal human happening upon them being extremely low , though some races have higher chances of people being a secondary gender other than Beta
Other people in Nazarick presented as non-Beta , more specifically one of the 3-4 people being Albedo(Omega) , Cocytus(Alpha) , Pandora Actor (Enigma(as in having characteristics of both Alpha and Omega)) and Sebas (Alpha)
And A/B/O dynamics didn't exist in neither YGGDRASIL or Momo's og word ... So yeah this is totally new territory for all of them . And then there is underlying sexism of Omega being discriminated against for being seen as weaker and often kidnapped or sold into sex slaves (at least with humans) . Yeah … Nazarick is gonna crash out the moment they learn of that side of slavery and demolish it , mainly because they see it as disrespect to their master . It does at least result in the Sorcerer Kingdom having very strong laws in the protection of Omegas and giving them the same rights .
Anyway let's go with at least some of the things happening in canon and how the new worders react to … well a freakishly strong Omega .
—-------------------------
We start with Gazef who probably had the strangest meet up . Because the 2 people he met weren't just 2 Omegas (one of who is a powerful caster and the other what he assumes a rather strong warrior ) , but one of whom smells like a just freshly presented Omega (it's Albedo) , which is strange considering both of them look to be full adults . He isn't really questioning it , and considering the fact Ainz is a powerful magic caster he just assumes Albedo is his daughter who decided to take the warrior path maybe like her other parent . When he gets back to the capital and report the vast majority of nobles don't believe him because in their puny brains the thought of an Omega being so capable is impossible
Then we have the adventuring with Momon and Nabe , who are confusing everyone (in part because of how interwoven their smells are from the constant cuddling Ainz does with those from Nazarick as his new instincts dictate) . Mainly because before Ainz took the helm down everyone thought he was a freshly presented Beta noble brat with an Omega companion . Then the sword of darkness happened and having observed those 2 people come to the conclusion that Nabe is a freshly presented Omega and Momon is her Beta Parent trying to stop her from cawing peoples eyes out . Then as they continue and notice that Momon parents in a way very similar to an Omega so they think there must have been an omega in his village in like the last 3 generations (when an Alpha or an Omega are born normally villages will start to slightly revolve around them resulting in changes in culture) , except the longer they look the less it seems like that and more so that Momon is an Omega parenting his Beta daughter . It's understandably a shock to have an Omega be a warrior and not a mage when they go into combat professions . In whatever case the fact that Momon is old enough to be Nabe’s parent becomes public knowledge . And while at first people are disgusted and tink that Momon is as bad or at least close to to the 8 fingers in that they take advantage of young girls , except the longer they look the less and less that misconception makes sense and the more and more obvious becomes the fact he is trying to parent and reign in a child able to use tier 3 spells along with being able and willing to maul a person alive with her teeth alone . At first they think “Ah , that is his daughter” , however Nabe’s polite tone when talking to him and the fact she sometimes accidentally adds in “lord” makes people suspicious that they might be from nobility , along with raising the suspicion that either they weren't originally close all that much(has they been then she would have relatively little problems calling him just father rather than lord father) or he had not been her parent figure from the start (some children might still call their adopted parent by their first name even if they do see them as their parental figure and have been for years) . Then Momon lets loose that Nabe is the daughter of a precious friend of his and how she is one of the very few things he has to remember him by . And suddenly it clicks . Momon was obviously a very high ranking knight(probably a situation similar to Gazef) that served his friend who was a king of a nation , however something happened and his friend is dead and his daughter is one of the few things he has left from him(she might be the only heir or at least the friend's only child) however she wasn't safe in her home country for one reason or another (scheming family , women not being recognized as rulers , a successful coup that would make her an unwilling bride so the traitors can claim legitimacy) . So instead Momon took her and they fled the country , all the while he tried to make money the best way he knew by selling his sword and with Nabe learning magic along the way(or maybe while she was still a princess) . Until they came here and became adventurers . That's how the titles of “Princess Nabe” and “Raven Black Hero” came to be . Eventually it would come to light that Momon is the Omega and not Nabe but that doesn't really change anything anymore but it does add some sense in why Nabe is so protective of him and why when camping or generally being around other people the 2 stay together but move away from other people as you have 1 very beautiful and talented mage Beta and her equally if not more attractive(as described in the lightnovels strength is very attractive) Omega step parent .
However even with Momon as the most attractive person most people have ever met in their lives the fact remains that 1) he hasn't shown interest in neither sex or romance as demonstrated by his lack of interest in Evileye or any of the dozens of adventurers that have thrown themself at him and 2) his daughter will try and kill if you even try to date him . It definitely makes the scene of Momon , Nabe , Albedo and Ainz all the more hilarious as you have 3 monsterously strong Omegas in one place deciding what might be the fate of humanity and as a cherry on top the only Beta present isn't even the warrior but a mage .
Anyway we continue . The lizard man arc stays mostly the same other than them wondering why Ainz hasn't taken Cocytus as his mate , because in lizardmen society a Omega and Alpha are always expected to end up together no matter what (that's actually why they were lowkey surprised when Crush and Zenbery didn't immediately end up together but instead only got together when Zaryusu was included in the trouble and only then did they start developing felling for each other and how even now no one is allowed to question Zaryusu placement in the relationship less they incur the wrath of those two . Zaryusu on the other hand is living his best Bi dreams) .
Then we have the thieves , and it goes like cannon . Until the Empire and specifically Jircniv has to answer for his messes . Naturally he is scheming on who the master of the tomb is and how to make things in his favor or at least mitigate as much damage as possible . Then he meets Momo in the throne room with all the guardians and is met with the smell of multiple Omegas and Alphas ( who are lowkey terrifying in that none of them seem to be very active in the bedroom in anyway , which considering one of them is a an actual succubus means that either their master forbids them from indulging in pleasure or they are are doing this voluntarily . Because while 1 or 2 of them being ace is unlikely but possible , however if it's all of them then it smells of foul play on someone's part . And he is right , only Pandora Actor is genuinely a full aroace , Cocutus is more interested in practicing his swordsmanship and learning how to rule the lizardmen to even think of making babies as of yet , Sebas is a demi in both romance and else and is currently building the foundation for everting else with Tsuare not to mention his dragon paced metabolism significantly lowers whatever libido he might have had , Ainz is an undead , stressed and more preoccupied with not getting caught lacking and then Albedo who is the only non-Beta person in Nazarick that wants to get laid except she only wants that to happen with the stressed skeleton . No one is getting any sex whatsoever .) . Then when Momo came closer Jircniv finally understood how fucked he was , as the master of the tomb is an Omega , a terafyingly strong Omega . And so immediately his plans go head first out the window because 1) that is a undead so sex isnt gonna entice him 2) That is an Omega , women aren't as enticing for him as an Alpha would be and 3) he made someone break into an Omega’s territory and maybe even nest . If there is anyone , even one person , being or even object that Ainz Ooal Gown considers as pack they are all going to suffer for putting it at risk to . Thankfully no one died , but that was only the start of the terror and headaches that will become Jicniv norm . The Cacce plane is a horrifying nightmare that will haunt everyone other than its perpetrator and his direct subordinates . Gazef also died , even if it all feels as an after thought after everything that happened that day . Jircniv is reasonably terrified as is everyone , but he is especially terrified as he starts to receive courting gifts from Ainz and his Alpha is for some reason unreasonably delighted and keeps urging Jircniv to send his own gifts to the very Omega that makes him slowly go insane with paranoia . As Jircnov starts to slowly but surely become acquainted with everything that an Omega noble deals with when a more powerful Alpha noble puts their eyes on them . Because even though he is an Alpha and Ainz is an Omega , it is for sure him that feels like a cornered lamb trembling in waiting for the hungry wolf to finally show his fangs and for the pain to start . All the while he is also suffering from unpredictable and almost constant ruts happening as his stress levels only continue to rise and rise (Ruts and heats aren't actually for reproductive purpose but rather just the body trying to relieve stress after a certain point , it's just that they gained the reputation because most people chose the fastest and least bloody method to relieve stress aka sex rather than say nest for days or go fight someone) .
Eventually the boredom of ruling kicks in so Ainz decides to go fight in a collusion and even heard that Jircniv keeps with the happening in it so while he might not witness him fighting (proving himself as a strong , reliable and worthy mate) with his own eyes he would at least heard of it after it happens . And of course to make things interesting he agrees on the no magic rule . Imagine his delight at Jircniv being present to watch him fight (the misunderstanding with the church is even worse now as they don't just think he is betraying humanity but betraying it to have sex with the undead(they are judging him and giving him the side eye so hard even as he is trying explain he had no idea of this happening while his Alpha is delighted to see Ainz)) . Internally Jircniv is having the battle of a lifetime , as his logical and human side are panicking as to what the demigod Omega is going to do to them while trying to think of ways to keep humanity alive all the while said logical and human side are trying desperately to stop the Alpha side of him from immediately throwing himself in the arms of said undead and starts rubbing his pheromons(made from mana) in his bones to make everyone else back off this amazing , strong and smart Omega that has shown interest in him humanity be dammed . Eventually the two sides come to a cease fire and Jircniv request the empire become a vassal state and to marry him(ainz is similarly to cannon shocked but wants it in writing) . The champion is also like everyone in this au even more terrified of Ainz than in cannon , specifically in this situation he hopes that even if he wins he doesn't immediately die after (because with the Emperor just proposing if his opponent dies his head will be rolling not too long after ) . Eventually he loses , dies , is revived and quickly gets out the coliseum because he doesn't want to be between the strange romantic/erotic/courting tension the two monarchs are having with each other and not a small portion of people in the stands agree with him on that . Especially since the emperor look like both the luckiest man alive (The Omega he just proposed to more than thoroughly showed his combat and strategy skills making his sapiosexual self and Alpha very very happy) and the most miserable man on the world(his logic and human parts are in a total state of panic from the goddammed demigod of an undead Omega and his Alpha is sulking from not having his proposal immediately accepted) .
Not to worry however as not even a week later both proposals get accepted and they do the wedding rather quickly . And for a honeymoon they go to the dwarfs (and that is how we have the Dwarfs Arc) and establish new trade routes while being away from documents and sightseeing the mountain . While that was happening Jircniv is slowly getting seduced by Ainz(unknowingly on his part) by being competent and caring (Jircniv is definitely coming up with theories on Ainz somehow knowing every little part of his taste and creating a way to hit all his weak point and get him madly in love ) . Because he is kind and parental (parenting Shaltear and Aura) , ruthless and efficient (conquering the dragons and Klagoa) , a diplomatic mastermind (convinced the dwrafs to not only trade with him but also made the runesmiths follow him into his country less than a month after meeting them while being an undead) , knowledgeable about his resources and how much he is willing to spend on projects (the Klagoa) and unquestionable military and personal might (the dragons) . And he is doing all this hard work on the honeymoon while still making time for Jircniv and spoiling him (the dwarfs couldn't exactly tell if a few tings had gone missing after they caught Jircniv’s eye and Momonga noticed or if they caught Momo’s eye by reminding him of said husband , and it's not like Gondo is gonna tattle on his new monarchs especially after he also got 1 or 2 small things with runes as bribes not to mention that he does genuinely like them or at least Ainz enough he is willing to keep silent on a few things going missing) . And sure technically the honeymoon could have been bigger or grander but it got them free of work , let them slightly loot a palace , establish a new trade agreement and getting raw material for a few things one of which ended up being a new accessory for Jircniv from the scales of the frost dragon Ainz killed . It was fruitful and it had the nice bonus of getting Jircniv very acquainted with Ainz’s ability to provide him with what he wants all on himself even when not counting his vast fortune or extremely skilled subordinates/children . Also Nazarick has all the luxury his heart could desire so that was genuinely a break of scenery . Eventually he also learns that not only is Ainz the defacto only present parent figure in the tomb but that the world those children come from and the world he himself comes from are both ones with no secondary gender (which explains a lot , especially the fact that apparently Momonga has been flirting with him unconsciously on his part and that the only reason he didn't get his smashed to pure when they first met being that Ainz Omega side took a very very strong liking to him with Momo not knowing that his Omega instincts were suggesting kidnapping him not letting him go with only minor problems) . Eventually he too get put in Nazarick’s short list of parental figures , and sure it's a little strange to be parenting so many fully grown people for both his logic side and inner Alpha but it makes Ainz very happy his pack and mate get along so well he is even extra cuddly whenever possible or whenever the one of his rare heats hit him and he gets in the nest with Jircniv and 1 or more NPCs and starts cuddling them .
The Re-este are overall is in a shit position ever since they lost the kingdom’s strongest aka Gazef and they cant even use political marriage(with the very valuable political pawn(hahah) that is princess Rener (who presented as an Omega) to solve the problem because 1) Ainz Ooal Gown is an undead 2) He already has a beyond beautiful Omega subordinate 3) He is an Omega so Rener isn't as appealing as she would otherwise be and finally 4) He is still newly wed to the Baharut Emperor who is an Alpha . So sending Rener in would almost certainly equate to making things even worse . Just because the undead might not have the reproduction part doesn't mean they don't have the rest of the package of instincts and they might even have it stronger , so anyone trying to take away their mate , children or nest is going to go down fast and hard with no mercy . So sending a beautiful (for their race) Omega of the same race as his Alpha will almost certainly be interpreted as a declaration of war .
Then the Holy Kingdom arc comes in . Calca still dies , Ramidios is still massively racist (Jircniv is definitely with Demiurge and Albedo planing he death to be as painful as possible) , Neya still gets her religious awakening (along with presenting as an Alpha but still being a lesbian disaster and with Ainz unconsciously parenting her) and the Demi-Human tribes are still united under Momonga’s banner (Every tribe has their gender norms and while he reaffirms those of some for others he fully breaks them) .
Then Filiph and his idiocy happens . And his overinflated ego thinks that not only is he going to get Albedo but that Ainz did all of this because he wants to be his mate and is using the Bahamut Emperor as a place holder as they kinda look alike . And Philip in his “generosity” of a “proper Alpha” is willing to take Ainz as his main wife and make Albedo a concubine of his while becoming the Monarch of the new country his soon to be mate made (Philip is delusional as always) . Or if in his military brilliance he conquers the Sorcerer Kingdom and his given princess Rener as a wife he still doesn't mind taking Albedo and Ainz as his concubines (as stated before power is very attractive) . Jircniv was very happy to hear that Nuronist and Pestonia have teamed up to make him regret ever being born after Ilma reported his delusions to him and Albedo .
The dark elves would like to say that they are very very jealous of the lucky Alpha that is Mare’s and Aura’s uncle’s mate . The elf king is getting absolutely tortured to death after what he said to Momonga’s kids . And Zeshi is currently praying to the wrong gods to “please come get her she is scared” (should have been praying to Ainz Ooal Gown then he might have lessened things) .
Platinum is lowkey terrified as is everyone else because the last time an Omega this powerful was in the world many species started going extinct and the dragon almost did too .
-----------------
Memes be upon thee
I call this the Worlds Peerless Beauty AU
It all started because the developers of YGRASILL decide "let's have a beauty contest!" In which players voted for who they think is either the most attractive or beautiful player avatar
Ainz Ooal Gown to not be undone come together and start to brainstorm who to put
At first they think of Bukubukushagama because she has the voice , then they wake up and remember that most people wouldn't find a pink slime attractive
The they go through the other fem presenting members and well ...
Yamaiko looks like she will pummel someone to the ground
And the less said about Ankoro Mocchi Mochi the better
Then Peroroncino has the bright idea to put Momo-can , because everyone loves him
To Momonga dismay everyone else in the guild agrees , so majority vote
And so Ainz Ooal Gown goes head first and full steam into putting Momonga out there
By the time the voting came almost everyone knew that Momonga the adorable skeleton is more than just the guild leader of Ainz Ooal Gown
And say what you will about YGRASILL player being Heteromorphphobic but even they can agree that a skeleton getting the title of Worlds Peerless Beauty would be hilarious
And so in parts doo to players :
- actually falling for Momonga
- being a monster fucker
- being a troll
- being the only contestants most people recognize
Momonga got the title in a rather big majority vote (the second place had close to 3x less votes)
The title allows for a rare class called Peerless Beauty that's kinda overpowered , and because they are Ainz Ooal Gown they start to abuse it (the fact it allows Momonga to charm even otherwise not possible character is a BIG bonus)
But times goes on
And then we get the start of the story
Except now you have Ainz not only as the undisputed ruler of Nazarick but also as the undisputedly most beautiful thing there is
Because the Carne Village situation ? He got the villagers blushing , the enemy attackers blushing , Gazef blushing , Gazef's men blushing and the Sunlight Scripture blushing . And they all are blushing like it's a sport . His mere presence makes people questioning either their sexuality, morality or sense of beauty
Being Momon (with the armor and it's dampening effect) only somewhat negates that , more specifically it just makes it so people need to either look closer or be around him more to get the same effect . Remember the scout dude that made a rude comment about Ainz's aperance ? Yeah here he says that Nabe is beautiful in a cold , exotic and unique to see way , while Momon has a warm everyday type of beauty that slowly but steadily grows on you . And Evil Eye is even more lovesick that canon
Ad the moment the mask comes of is when people are hit the hardest :
Jirchiv is even more convinced that Ainz is GOD (he is probably gonna convert soon)(he is also one of the only people NOT having a sexuality crisis because he knows what he is , that being sapiosexual)
Neia is even more sure Ainz is GOD and acts as such (the religion is spreading even quicker)(Neia is also one of the only other people who aren't having a sexuality crisis over Ainz ,because she had her's from Shizu)
The Elf King wants to make babies (and is getting his ass beat)(power hungry madman what can you do ?)
Rener is having a breakdown because she thought she only liked Climb that way and is having a sexuality crisis
Climb is going through a sexuality crisis of his own because he thought he only had feelings for Rener
Zaryusu and Crusch are not only also in a sexuality crisis but are also contemplating opening their marriage to also include Lord Ainz if he so wishes
Brain is having his second biggest sexuality crisis (the first was from Gazef , so he knew he liked powerful men what he just didn't know was that he liked powerful men even and if they are skeletons)
Filip (being an idiot) thought that Ainz had a crush on him and decided to do all that (for some no name noble) . Filip decide he quite likes both him and Albedo and wouldn't mind having her as their shared mistress (he is getting send to Neuronist for the blasphemy he committed)
Remedios thinks Ainz is even extra evil because he is that beautiful
Zanac is like "I talked to GOD , and he is a really cool and down to earth guy" , granted he died but still got the respect of both the world strongest and most beautiful person and in just one conversation
Platinum Dragon Lord is contemplating kidnapping Ainz(and maybe taking him as his bride) and keeping him in his castles like he is a dragon from a fairy tale (dragons kind inborn skill to be able to judge how much something cost are going overdrive trying to calculate how beautiful Ainz is)
One of the fun parts in this is that people who wouldn't be attracted to him sexuality won't be attracted they just see him as someone extremely beautiful , and if someone argues let me ask you . Do you get horny while watching a sunset ?
Could you draw Zanka wearing a dress that has cut's on both side? And with cut on chest place too if you like! (It could either have some Japanese pattern or just plain dress) You can ignore this, no pressure! I just want to see it drawn in your art style (๑´•.̫ • `๑)
why’d he say this
based on the "is there anyone in this house who loves men?" meme
In the recent chapter Kyouka called Enjin a "charmer", and it's not the first time it happen. A lot of people joked that it was because they were exes but another interpretation is that she blames him for "manipulating" Zanka away from their family. Which would mean that, without great surprise, the Nijikus really don't consider Zanka's feelings or perspective as valid explanation for his behavior and only see him as someone getting manipulated. Their own actions could never be the cause of Zanka's leaving.
So I raise you: Goka Nijiku make a reddit AITA post to comfort himself in his feelings of righteousness about way they treat his little brother:
The kind of post that sounds 100% reasonable from an outsider perspective. OP saved his little brother from gang wars ! Thank god ! So good to see that there is still strong family bonds in this world !
Then you go to the comments and you discover a few bombs like:
RandomUser: INFO Why did he leave the house initially ? OP: Because he was disowned.
Or the classic:
RandomUser: INFO How did he get so badly ? OP: Because he failed to dodge a bullet. I'm disappointed, I thought my sister had trained him better. RandomUser: Wait what do you mean by that ? How do you train someone to dodge bullets lol ? OP: Well you just shoot at him until he learn to dodge all of them. He was not really talented so it took him a while to get the hang of it but now I was really expecting him to do better.
And now people are insulting Goka online ! So Is He The Asshole ?
I'm a big fan of Janka ending up strangely functional, like when they're both so bizarre, violent, and mentally ill at each other that they come out the other side. And part of that is that I am, at heart, a sap and I like to torment my blorbos but I also like when they end up happy.
And the other part is that it's extremely funny to me to envision that people have been searching for a way to fix Zanka's personal problems for years. But somehow the only thing that's really, truly made a difference and gotten him to find the long term will to live is getting him a Raider companion and letting them fight each other like feral animals. Nothing else works. Literally just this. And it keeps Jabber busy enough that he does less crime!
Win/win, except for the part where Akuta has to live with this forever now.
YOU’RE SUCH A HATER!!! STOP YUCKING HIS YUM!!!!
Lovely Assistaff can kind of communicate w zanka and not just in a woah we are connected giver and jinki but as in he can hear her go "boy put me down RIGHT NOW and go to bed" kind of way...
But she does it veryyyy subtly to the point zanka kind of accepts that he's just soo dependent on her that he made up a voice for her. He tries to ask other people but they say that theyve never experienced that so it just adds on to Zanka's feeling of not fitting in. Even with other Givers he's still something else from them. Who the hell is able to talk to their jinki, anyways? Maybe kyouka and goka were onto something when they said he was too dependent on lovely....
She's also able to talk w other jinkis (who arent really able to communicate to their givers the way she can with the exception of hii) so zanka also, somehow, manages to "understand" other jinkis...takes one look at 3R in rudo's hands and goes "hey are your hands hurting again" "how did you know that what"
Stringcrow
If you told me that Jabber was the child of Tamsy and Corvus, I would believe you
I want them to be gossip besties actually
mmm tamsy