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if you've come here for n00ds, go home (unless you know the code)

[steven]

sorry i have bubonic plague i can’t hang out tonight

[61below]

aw rats

[kkneesockks]

[theproblematicblogger]

When I was in college I had this weather class and there was a guy in front of me who would always write the most inane poetry. It was mindless. I remember one line he wrote was “My love for you is as big as a ballroom” and I just pray he never showed it to anyone. I wish I could remember more lines but if you guys could have witnessed the sheer level of mediocrity that was displayed on a constant basis you would share my frustration although granted tumblr has some of the worst poetry I’ve ever seen in my life with +200k notes so maybe I’m wrong.

[theillusioner-deactivated201901]

it’s really great that you’re discouraging creativity, I’m sure that guy who likes writing poetry would have gotten better at it if he got feedback from you

[theproblematicblogger]

Thanks but I prefer talking poorly about his work anonymously years later.

[johnis1]

If you sucked at it as well then why do you judge it? What poetry have you written before?

[theproblematicblogger]

You don’t need to be able to fly a plane to recognize a plane crash

[crystallinemuun]

Why were y’all writing poetry in a weather class ?

[theproblematicblogger]

HE WAS THE ONLY ONE

[lucentgallivanter]

me: i love you but please, please do not step on my keyboard. go a foot out of your way and go around

my lovable yet ungrateful cat, a troublegirl and a fiend: you could sooner divert a river from its course than deny my nature 

[davey-strides]

fuckin raw line

[nerdyqueerandjewish]

All Star translated into Aramaic translated back to English

[yidquotes]

Translated back is WAY better than the actual song.

[ghoulgoon]

i napped for 3 hours and dreamt about:

a zen pencils comic with a bunch of people sitting in a waiting room and the receptionist calls “excuse me, is there a mr. racist here?” and this guy raises his hand and immediately starts getting beat on by everybody else in the waiting room and the last panel is a closeup of his file and it’s first name STOPBEING last name RACIST

trying to make the teenage mutant ninja turtles fuck

[yugirimistwalker]

this post was made march last year but it’s such a fucking classic it feels like it was made centuries ago

[awwcutepets]

[realfootage]

[coke-hoe-nyt-crab]

me every friday night

[2jp]

is this that guy that uses a syringe to put his semen in chicken eggs and cuts them open later to see if he can find his living son inside

[lowfatwordsalad]

is this who now

[tastefullyoffensive]

by Mr. Lovenstein

[pukicho]

Kids are just like “ppptppptppthhptpppthh” until one day they’re like “oh shit I can think” and then it’s all downhill from there

[butchdarry-deactivated20180612]

the greatest skill a woman can learn for herself is self reliance

[butchdarry-deactivated20180612]

to clarify … so many strong women in my life rely on men. that dependence is dangerous. ladies here are some good ref resources I’ve found helpful on my journey towards self reliance

automobile

changing coolant

changing oil

changing tire

jumping a car

plumbing

toilet running

basement flooding

replace a faucet

clogged drain

electrical

replacing light switches

blew a fuse

installing overhead light

earth vs. neutral vs. live wires

home

patching drywall

finding studs

this list is in no way comprehensive feel free to add on

[nerdgul]

a lot of ‘man things’ are a lot easier than you think they are. especially considering the fact that most of these things when buying the parts come with directions on the packaging that men usually don’t even look at (and often end up doing it wrong because they were taught by fathers who also did not look at the packaging). 

like i recently had to change my car battery and freaked out cause i thought id electrocute myself but turns out new batteries come with directions and its the easiest shit in the world so long as you can lift the damn thing. 

so yeah, ladies dont ever feel like a man is a necessity for life, you can do this shit on your own its easier than you think!  

[ohthebrave-deactivated20180212]

It doesn’t happen like that. You don’t just wake up one day and find that everything has worked itself out. You must get out of bed, morning after morning, and make a conscious effort to control the circumstances of that given day. You must learn to handle your issues with grace because you respect what they are attempting to teach you. You must drown your insecurities slowly, one self-realization at a time. You must allow yourself to feel the fear bubbling just beneath your skin but you must never allow it the satisfaction of crippling you; grit your teeth and march on. You see, they never tell you how hard these things will be. This fight to reclaim yourself is not easy or straightforward but, my god, is it necessary. 

[julian2006]

what goes thru a white boy’s mind when they get dressed like

“u know what’ll go great with these basketball shorts? socks with little marijaunas”

[automaticmaiden]

[ill-horse]

[siquetumismo]

[turntoturnover-deactivated20250]

oh my fuckning

[iopele]

UNMUTE THIS

[goawfma]

lil matt damon SNAPPED

[willsmithsmackedtheshitoutofme]

He looks exactly like Matt Damon

[te-amo-corazon]

the finger points 😭😭

[theseriouscynic]

Him and this gif have the same energy

[onlyblackgirlintheclass2]

He dragged him for not listening lmao

[sweetsicks]

[Extends my fist out to you. Something is enclosed within my hand] :)

[sweetsicks]

[Opens my palm]

[sweetsicks]

[kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd]