More crappy films, and a decent documentary
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time -
This, one assumes, is a cruel joke. You can't honestly tell me they meant to cast Jake Gyllenhaal as a muscular man, or Gemma Arterton as a Persian. Surely, they didn't trot out a tired Ben Kingsley to play one of those people from that area of the world again, did they? There is no way they cast Alfred Molina to play a creepy, but poorly build and really too innocent desert trader, right?
Wrong on all counts. A week later, I still can't figure out how they made 2 hours of this drivel. Oh wait, they inflated the script to the point of bursting. But instead of bursting with air, shit came out. Why does Gemma look orange? Why do Jake's muscles look like a ill-fitted suit? Why do some of the Persians look Israeli, others English, and even more just plain odd? All of these questions and more disappear into a horrible 2-hour time-sink that makes you wish you had just played the video game instead.
A film this comic book does not make. Clocking in at a thin 80 minutes, Jonah Hex is probably the worst adaptation to date, and they made Ghost Rider. None of the characters matters. I don't know why John Malkovich is in this movie. No, honestly, I'm asking. Who is his character and why is he such a dick? Why the hell is Josh Brolin famous? They manage to build crazy weapons and never explain how or why they work. I understood that even the flimsiest of excuses is needed for comic book films. This one doesn't even bother. Jonah visits a black weapons dealer, but its cool. He fought for the South because he's an Anarchist. Yep. Then he proceeds to use said procured weapons in one, read ONE gun fight. What was the point of those 5 minutes?
Down to 75 minutes of film, and you still don't have any chance of finding a plot. The editing between the climactic fight left me uncomfortable and confused by its imagery at best. Who green-lit this crap? Why do movies like these ever make it to the silver screen? Did anyone make money off of this project besides the ham-fisted actors? One has to theorize it was a huge money laundering scam. Because there is no other reason for it to exist.
A documentary about two Persian women exiled from their country due to various political activities. One woman, Nahid Persson Sarvestani, is a semi-famous film-maker whose most famous work is Prostitution Behind the Veil. During the 1979 Iranian Revolution, she was a member of a small Communist group which helped to take down the Shah's regime. She is now semi-exiled from Iran because of her film about Persian prostitutes in Tehran. The other woman is Farah Pahlavi, the Empress of Iran. She was exiled permanently in 1979 when said Revolution overthrew her husband's regime. You can see the plot from here.
A lot of the film revolves around the two women's stories of exile from a country they both love. One gets the sense they feel homesick and betrayed by that which gave them life. For Nahid, memories of Iran most often call a country of poverty, upheaval, and ultimately intolerance and murder. For Farah, Iran is her country, literally. Yet she cannot go back there because of who she is, and what she represents. One gets the sense, while watching the film, that she doesn't desire a return to monarchy for her country. Instead, both women seem to regret what has become of Iran. One of the few things they both agree upon, towards the end of the film, is that neither solution is viable in this day and age.
One constant throughout the film is Farah's suspicion of Nahid's motives. Her assistant is made to be the conniving assistant, looking out for Farah's best interest at the cost of the film and the public. Of course, his suspicions are based in truth. Nahid did help, albeit in a very small way, to bring down the Shah's regime. But the film quickly loses it's plot as an expose on the Empress's guilt as it becomes apparent Farah serves more as a figure head than anything substantial or affective. Yes, Farah still has several houses and lives a life of privilege. But her supporters are shot to appear like leeches, pining for the return of a regime that gave them power. At one Monarchist meeting, the supporters swarm around Nahid, poking and prodding to make sure she is one of them. One lady dares to venture that Farah should be returned to power, to lead Iran towards glory again.
Lady, Farah never did any of what you think she did. It was her husband. He was a puppet. I know you feel otherwise, but that's how it goes. If you want to affect real change in Iran, stop looking towards relics of the past. Make a real, democratic movement that actually stands for something. If last year's protests are to tell us in Europe and North America anything, its that the average Persian doesn't want a Theocracy or a Monarchy. What they want is a voice. No amount of historic glaze will drown out that desire. Nor will public hangings or stoning "criminals". If you want to know why people don't respect kings or religious rulers anymore, here's the answer. We've moved on as a species, as a global society. Philosophically, politically, legally, neither of these systems fits with the expectations of much of the world, rich or poor. There's a reason why Europe's rulers signed power over to the people, why the Ottoman Empire crumbled. Why places like China, Japan, and India are run by politicians and not nobles.
Returning back to the film, the viewer often gets the feeling that Nahid is too much in awe of Farah. After all, she grew up dreaming of being Farah one day. This leads to a loss of intention. What could have possibly become an expose of the Shah's misdeeds transforms in to a film mostly about friendship, or at least companions in exile. Granted, the film would have never happened had hard questions been asked. But one must wonder, wouldn't it have made for a better story?
A note about Ridley Scott and James Cameron. It came to my attention, in afterthought and discussion, that these two are responsible for some of the best action/suspense films of the 80's and 90's. That leads me to ask, what the hell happened?
