summary: your boyfriend’s having an off day, you decide to comfort him.
tags: established relationship, depression, reverse comfort, fluff, a bit of angst, soft! simon
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ADJUSTING THE SKIRT of your uniform, you smooth the creases, making sure your outfit was spotless before exiting the bathroom. Working as a barista was nice, you got to meet nice people, make cute latte art, it’s how you met your late boyfriend- he was dragged in by the arm by one of your regulars, Johnny. Simon was a big, burly man- hard eyes, quiet yet gruff voice. You found his mask adorable, unlike your co-workers that always had you serve him. Eventually, you managed to crack his wall and start little conversations; and eventually he came alone, no Johnny. He’d sit, observe. He was a good people watcher, you’d have to give him that. Something blooms, and eventually, you hesitantly leave your number upon a napkin, sliding it under his drink. You watched anxiously as he sat down, glancing at the napkin. He reads it for an awfully long time before pocketing it, he doesn’t look at you. He just drinks his drink, then leaves.
You feel extremely lucky that you managed to become his lover. Simon, despite looking tough and rough on the outside, was such a sweet man. He held you gently, helped you with cooking, he made you laugh. What got you to fall in love was his eyes, honey brown eyes that stared at you with adoration and joy, how he’d go from a stony look in public to a softened gaze when his eyes found you when you were out with friends. You understood that Simon would have to be away a lot, with his work and everything, you remember the first week he was away. You fretted, texting him every hour to make sure he was alive and kicking. With time; you developed more faith in your boyfriend’s abilities (not that you doubted them), and you held hope that he would come back. Simon had come home from deployment roughly about a week ago. He kept his experience quiet, not giving you many details- which wasn’t weird for him, yet something in him seemed more… sad.
“Baby, i’m going to work.” You lean upon the doorframe. Simon, to your surprise, was still in bed. With his job as a soldier, you were used to Simon getting up at six a.m, sharp, not a minute behind nor over. He’d have his coffee, go to the gym, come back and shower then allow himself to relax. Yet right now, as of seven forty-five a.m, he was in bed- in the same position you left him in. You knew he was awake, you had spoken to him briefly, told him good morning and kissed him sweetly. Simon doesn’t respond, his back to you. Slowly, you move away, walking down the hall. Instead of collecting your flats, you pick up your phone from next to your bag. It rings twice, then your boss picks up. “Hey, sir… so sorry but im gonna have to take the day off. Something came up.” You tell him, hearing your boss sigh. “Really? Rush hour is about to start.” He complains. “I know, but this is really important..! I’ll work a double tomorrow and Thursday- I promise.” You insist, glancing back to the bedroom. “And Friday. See you tomorrow.” Your boss hangs up without a goodbye. Heading to the kitchen, you make your boyfriend a coffee- just the way he likes it, and head back to the bedroom.
Slowly so it wouldn’t spill, you place the steaming mug beside him. “Thought you were going to work?” He asks, voice raspy. “I called in sick.” You respond, changing from your uniform into some more casual wear. “Why?” Simon’s brows furrow as he watches you, not moving. “To take care of you. Somethings up, I can tell.” You reply, shrugging as you get back into bed beside him. Simon sighs, rolling onto his back. “You don’t have to. Just… having an off day.” He tells you, you hum, shuffling to rest against his chest. “Why? What’s the matter, baby?” You ask softly, hand moving up to gently trace over a scar upon his cheek. Simon raises his hand, enveloping your own and kissing your palm. “Dunno, just… not feeling good.” He responds. “Do you need medicine?” You blink up at him, watching him shake his head. “No, not physically…”
“Oh…” You mumble, letting the silence sit for a while. “Si, do you have- y’know… depression?” You ask sheepishly, worry growing. “Yeah, got diagnosed a while back. Before I met you.” You sit up at his response. “Baby, why didn’t you tell me?” You frown, cupping his cheeks gently. “Didn’t wanna burden you. This is my fight.” He sighs, letting his eyes close. “Simon, you’re not a burden. You should of told me, I want to help you.” You lean down, kissing his jaw gently. “You’re such a good guy, Si. You deserve the world, and I want to support you as much as I possibly can.” You tell him, thumb still stroking his scar. “You… you don’t have to, babe. I’m fine.” Simon lies, voice thick; as if he were going to cry. “Simon…” you sigh, resting your head against his as you try to soothe him. “Let me help you.” You beg quietly. Simon stays silent for a few moments. “…okay.” He mutters, hand finding your back. You smile, kissing his temple before sitting up. “Okay. I have some ideas, just to get you out of bed and have you feeling active.” You move your hands to rest on his chest.
“I’m listening.” He responds. “Good! The first idea is, we could go out to a café; there’s a new one out of town that i’ve heard good things about. It’s not too far, to be fair.” You explain, watching his eyes; they’re kind, loving. “Up to you, love.” Simon shrugs half-heartedly. “Well it’s your day, baby. We can do something else if you want?” You remind him, he hums. “Fine, we can check out this café.” He mutters, letting you pull him up. “Okay. Drink your coffee before it gets cold baby, we’ll go soon.” You respond, kissing his cheek gently. “Thanks love… you don’t have to do this.” He smiles, it’s small. “I want to do this. I hate seeing you sad.” You frown a little, kissing his lips before pulling away so he could drink his coffee. He hums softly, sipping his coffee. “I know, but still… thank you.” He responds.
“Why’re you feeling so down, anyway? Anything happen? Maybe at work?” You respond, hand gently massaging his arm, specifically the one wrapped around you. “Yeah… uh. My job isn’t easy, and… this guy I was working with for the first time, he got really messed up. Almost died- and I… I could of helped- could of prevented it. I… I ruined his life.” You hear his voice waver a little at the end, yet he immediately shuts his mouth, closing his eyes. “Oh, Simon. It’s not your fault.” You cup his cheeks, fluttering gentle kisses over his face. “It is. I could of been faster.” He insists, sighing shakily. “Simon, look at me. There is nothing you could of done differently. Your job is dangerous, he knew that when he signed up to join.” You tell him, voice much more firm. Simon sighs. “You did all you could, I’m sure.” You add on, kissing his lips gently. “You weren’t there.” He seethes, eyes darkening a little. You try not to let his tone hurt you. “But I know you. You’re such a sweetheart, you truly do care about the people around you, even though you won’t say it. I know you helped him, he’s still alive, isn’t he?” You ask, hands moving to his sides, gently massaging him. Simon let’s out another sigh, closing his eyes once more. “Look at me.” You mumble, patting his cheek gently. “It’s not your fault.” You insist.
Simon takes a moment, leaning his head against yours before taking a deep breath. “Yeah… okay, you’re right.” He mutters, squeezing his mug tightly as his other arm hugs you tight. “Of course i’m right, doofus.” You half joke, kissing the corner of his mouth; feeling it curl upwards as you do so. “Finish your coffee baby, and try not to worry. You’re home now.” You point out, he nods. “Yeah. Just gotta relax a little…” he responds, kissing you gently. “Thank you, baby.” He mumbles, you smile. “Of course! I’m not gonna abandon you, Si.” You coo, cuddling against his side as he drinks his coffee. “Want me to pick out an outfit for you baby?” You ask softly, head leaning against his shoulder. “If you want, love.” He shrugs a little. You smile brightly. “Great!” Moving away, you get up, moving to the closet. Simon watches you, a glint of amusement in his eyes as you pick your favourite things on him out and put them on the bed. “I heard this new place serves that cake you like. We’ll have to get some.” You say over your shoulder. Simon nods, finishing his coffee. “Sure thing, baby.”
summary: you’re a very sleep-deprived insomniac, your boyfriend has to deal with it.
tags: established relationship, sleepy cuddles, fluff, sleepy! johnny, short fic, totally not self indulgent because i can’t sleep rn
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YOU HUFF LAZILY as you lay awake in your lover’s arms. Insomnia sucked. That’s all you could think in the moment. Johnny, your beloved boyfriend, was half asleep, breathing slow and steady as his muscled arms engulf you, keeping you close to his chest. Slowly, you blink, trying to ease yourself into sleep- yet it never comes. “Johnny, baby.” You mumble, shaking him gently. “Mhhm..” his brows furrow as he pushes his face against the top of your head. “Baby, talk to me.” You whine, voice still quiet as you tap his side. “Wha’s wrong..?” He slurs out, Scottish accent thick with sleep. “Can’t sleep.” You respond, tangling your legs between his as you shuffle even closer. Johnny let’s out a soft noise, kissing your forehead. “What’dya wanna talk about, love?” He questions, eyes barely open.
“Anything. Just wanna sleep.” You sigh, squeezing your boyfriend a little tighter. “Okay…” Johnny exhales slowly, his breath hits your face gently. Seconds soon turn to minutes, and you realise Johnny’s dozing off again. You smile a little, kissing his lips gently. Your boyfriend hums, kissing back lazily as he nuzzles closer. You stay silent for a little while, hand rubbing his back as you ponder about anything to talk about. “Baby,” you begin, listening to him hum in acknowledgement. “Would you rather… kiss a hundred frogs, or never kiss me again?” You question, watching his brows furrow. “Wha..?” He asks, exhaling slowly after. “Kiss a hundred frogs, or never kiss me again, choose one.” You smile at his confused expression. “Kiss a hundred frogs.” He mutters after a beat of silence. “Aw.” You croon, kissing him gently. “Okay, lover boy. Would you rather…” you trail off, thinking for a moment. “Quit your job or… quit nights out?” You smile, knowing he’d have a tricky time answering that one considering he loved both. “Oof… uh, quit nights out?” Johnny responds, voice more quiet as he’s still tired. “Your turn.” You nudge him gently, watching him swipe at his eyes before blinking a few times to look at you.
“Alright…” he responds, looking around your shared room in the base for anything to provide inspiration. “Would you rather not cure your insomnia, or sleep for a hundred years?” He asks teasingly. “Hmm… so if I chose to not cure my insomnia I be able to see you?” You ask, he nods a little; cheeky smile on his lips. “Hmm… then i’d have to not cure my insomnia. I wouldn’t want to be in a cruel, boyfriend-less world.” You giggle, kissing him. “Alright, alright.” Johnny nods, adjusting his hold on you. “Would you rather… eat Gaz’s cooking, or eat four bugs of your choice?” He asks, that grin spreading even more. “Oh, I’d eat Gaz’s cooking, I wouldn’t be able to eat bugs.” You laugh, he nods. “Fair enough, but i’d take the bugs just to be safe.” He jokes, sharing a laugh with you.
A few moments of silence pass by, you’re trying to see if you can sleep easier, yet no matter how hard you tried; you couldn’t. “Johnny.” You pat his back once more. “Yeah, baby?” He responds, voice much more sleepy now. “Would you still love me if I was a worm?” You smile, kissing his cheek. “A worm?” He repeats, brows knitting together. “Yeah, a worm.” You nod, pushing your face into his neck. “Like one that lives in the dirt or a different type of worm?” Johnny asks you, you laugh. “What other types of worms are there? Yes, a dirt-dwelling worm.” You respond, fingers massaging his back. “Hmm… it’d be tough but, yeah. I’d still love you, as long as you still knew it was me.” Johnny nods, arms squeezing you more firmly. “Would you fight all the other worms for me?” You giggle softly, hand slipping under his shirt so your fingertips could trace lines up and down his back.
“I’d fight all the worms for you, baby.” Johnny yawns, kissing your ear gently. “I’d fight people for you. I’d kick ass as a worm.” You respond, listening to a chuckle rumble through your boyfriend’s chest. Slowly, you begin to yawn, sleep finally beginning to pull at you. “You’d be a very badass worm, love. I’d get you a little helmet and vest so you could come with on missions.” Johnny smiles, moving your leg over his hip to cradle you closer. “Sweet.” You grin, leaning your weight against your boyfriend as your eyes finally begin to close. “Dozing off?” He asks, tone sweet. “Mhm… thanks, baby.” You respond, hand slowly stopping upon Johnny’s back as you grow more and more sleepy. “Of course, love.” He replies, kissing your head. “Love you, Johnny.” You purr, smiling sweetly as he takes a soft breath. “I love you more, even if you were a worm.”
summary: you get shot whilst saving your boyfriend.
tags: established relationship, secret relationships, near death experiences, strangulation, attempted stabbing, guns/gunshot wounds, angst with comfort, eventual fluff
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YOUR LUNGS ARE heaving desperately, you’ve never ran so fast in your life. Soldiers are everywhere, you need to get away. Kyle’s behind you, making sure you’re not stumbling as he sprints as well. Rounding a corner, you pull him into a building, closing the door behind him with haste. “Fuck…” you whisper, backing away carefully. Heavy boots track past, you both share a glance, holding your breaths as the soldiers pass by. Finally, it goes quiet, and you both exhale with relief. “C’mon… maybe there’s some stuff in this house.” You tell him, gently touching his arm in passing. “Right.” His eyes follow you, finally moving away as he slowly sweeps through the house.
As soon as he knows it’a relatively safe downstairs, he heads upstairs, grabbing his radio. “Captain? Laswell?” He calls out, hoping one of them will respond. “Gaz, is Pagan with you?” Price asks, the use of your call sign throws him for a bit of a loop. “Yeah- yeah, she is. We’re fine, taking shelter in a house.” He responds, shining a flashlight into the bathroom attached to a bedroom. Nothing. “Good. Sit tight for a little while, we’re still getting confirmation on evac.” The Captain tells him, Kyle nods. “That’s fine. I think we’ll be okay for a while.” Kyle glances at the decor in the room, stomach twisting with a sombre feeling. “Stay strong, son. We’ll be home soon.” Price promises, signing off. Turning off his radio, Gaz continues his sweep. He can hear you walking downstairs, the sound rather reassuring to him. As he opens a door, a body slams against it, knocking him over with an oomph. A man launches himself onto Kyle, knife threatening to plunge into his chest- quickly, he grabs the soldier’s wrists, squeezing tightly as he tries to resist. With a quick movement, he smacks the knife away- it clatters against the hallway floor. Not giving up, the man wraps his hands around Gaz’s neck. With a new desperation, he scratches at the man’s wrists, hoping that he’d pull away, yet the enemy doesn’t budge.
You hear the commotion, racing upstairs, gun in hand. “Gaz-!” You yell, slamming your side against the stranger atop your boyfriend. The two of you tumble, you land roughly upon your shoulder as your own knife slips from your holster and skids away. Turning, you go to get up, yet the soldier is locked onto you like a wild animal- desperate to live. His gun is pulled, your eyes widen as a loud gunshot silences the house. You stumble back down, gasping a little in shock. “Y/n!” Kyle yells, voice raspy as he shoots the soldier. Panting, he rushes to you; stumbling to your side. “Hey, hey- it’s okay. You’re fine.” He whispers, pressing his hands over yours. The bullet had hit your sternum, your eyes were as wide as saucers; gazing at the ceiling. Shakily, Gaz grabs his radio, lifting it to his lips. “Captain-!” He pauses to wheeze a little, lungs still burning.
“Kyle, what’s wrong?” Price asks immediately, clearly worried at the sound of distress in the young sergeant’s voice. “Y/n got shot..! I need you here now!” He begs, hearing some immediately movement on the captain’s side. “Where are you? What’s the address?” Price demands, moving quickly. “Uh- a house on main street. I didn’t check, but there’s a red pickup truck in the driveway.” Kyle informs him, “Please, just get here quick!” He adds on, dropping his radio to continue aiding you. “Kyle-“ you choke out, taking deep, shaky breaths. “It’s alright, sweetheart. I’m right here.” He responds, tears welling in his eyes. “I don’t wanna die.” You whimper, eyes meeting his; you’re scared, he is too. “You won’t. I promise you, baby. I promise! You’re gonna be fine.” Kyle responds, moving one of his hands to gently brush against your cheek; a smudge of red smearing against your skin.
“Remember that date we had planned?” He asks, a humourless laugh escaping him. “Yeah…” you respond, stomach rising with another shaky breath. “We’re still going, right?” Kyle smiles, it’s weak and quivering. “Kyle…” you mumble, voice dejected. “The coffee shop, your favourite. You promised you’d take me. You can’t break that promise, baby- you can’t..!” Gaz leans down, kissing your forehead softly. “Kyle- I don’t think.. i’m gonna get out of this one.” You whisper, wincing in pain. “No- you’re gonna be fine!” Kyle can feel tears running down his cheeks, yet he ignores them. Moving your hands, you let Kyle press over your wound, palm finding its place upon his cheek. “Baby, c’mon now…” you whisper, a shaky smile on your lips as your own tears escape you. As you gently stroke his cheekbone, a trail of blood stains his skin, marking him. “You’re gonna be fine- we’re gonna go get drinks, like you said.” Kyle responds stubbornly. “Kyle, baby. Be reasonable- i’m losing blood fast-“ you pause, wheezing roughly. “The captain is quite far away, we don’t know where he is or if we’re even getting an evac.” You add on, saddened eyes trying to comfort him. Kyle feels terrible, he should be consoling you.
“Just- save your energy, baby. You need it.” He whispers, palms trying to stop the blood flow. “I love you, Kyle.” You mumble, voice growing weaker, quieter. “And I love you more, just take deep breaths. You need to save your strength.” He responds, breaths harsh as he tries to calm himself. You hum, hand moving from his cheek, smearing the blood that was already there. “Baby?” Kyle mutters, examining your face. You seem more relaxed, sleepy. “Babe, this isn’t funny. C’mon.” He begs, hearing the front door fly open. He doesn’t know if it’s Price or enemy soldiers that had heard the shots, and he didn’t care as he goes numb; moving to cradle you. “Y/n, please.” He begs, shaking you lightly. Your head rolls a little, resting against his arm- as if you were peacefully asleep. “Y/n..!” He begs, at this point not even hearing the footsteps running up the stairs.
“Move, kid, let me see.” Price gently pushes Kyle away, kneeling beside you. Kyle shuffles away, back pressing against the wall as he stares at you. Price is observing you, fingers pressing to your pulse as he presses a kitchen towel to your wound. “She’s going into shock…” he mutters, glancing to Kyle. “Get some pillows from the bedroom.” He commands, Kyle blinks before getting up, rushing into the bedroom. He returns, handing it to the captain and watching him slip the cushion under your legs. “Is she gonna be okay?” He asks, voice wavering slightly. Price looks at you, then gives Gaz a knowing look. “She’ll be fine, son.” He responds. “How do you know?” The younger man questions, voice shaky. “Trust me, I know. Pagan is strong, you don’t have to worry.” Price is careful as to remove your helmet as well as any restrictive gear, putting it aside. “Is evac coming?” Kyle whispers, eyes staring at you. Your skin has lost pigment due to blood loss; Kyle feels sick at the sight. “Yeah, they’ll be here soon.”
Kyle sits, completely silent as he watches your chest struggle to rise and fall- raspy breaths escaping your nose. Clenching his jaw, he looks away, letting his eyes close as he listens to you; it was unbearable. Price glances at the sergeant, then back to you, exhaling slowly through his nose. “Gaz.” He speaks, bringing the younger man back to him. “Go get a thin blanket, just to prevent her going cold.” Price’s voice is more gentle, he knows that Kyle is hurting. “Yes, sir.” Getting up again, he retreats into a bedroom to collect a soft blanket. As he comes back, he watches as Price talks to you. “You’re gonna be alright, lass. You’re in good hands.” He mutters, accepting the blanket and draping it over you. “Can she hear us?” Kyle asks, watching his captain as he mulls it over. “I’d like to think so, son.”
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Hours have never felt so long. Kyle is sat beside you, eyelids drooping with exhaustion. His hand is knitted into yours, refusing to let go, no matter how clammy his palm felt. Kyle watches you, your breathing is more steady, but you’re yet to wake up. It had been seventeen hours, you had showed no signs of stirring; and no one around could pry Kyle away from you. He’d been beside you since you got here- he hadn’t even washed your blood from his face, arguing with everyone- even snapping at Price and Laswell when they suggested he take a break. He didn’t care if they found out, he wasn’t about to leave you. It was his fault you were in this state- deep down he was terrified that you wouldn’t wake up. He wanted to be there, for any outcome.
“Come on, baby.” Kyle mumbles into the silence, adjusting his chair so he could look at you better in the dim room. “You can’t do this to me… please, wake up.” He adds on, raising your hand to give it a soft kiss, keeping it there for a moment. “I can’t lose you. Please wake up.” He begs, voice beginning to waver as tears well up in his eyes. Kyle takes a deep breath, lowering your hand once more. “Baby, please!” Leaning down a little, his elbows press to the stiff mattress beside you, head in one hand as he cradles your own hand against his cheek. His tears drip, wetting your skin as well as his own. A low, raspy hum disturbs him. “Don’t cry.” You mumble, voice very hoarse as you move your hand to gently wipe his cheeks. “Oh- fuck, y/n- baby..! Oh God.” He let’s out a huge breath of relief, leaning in to kiss you firmly. “You’re okay!” He adds on, much happier tears escaping him. “I’m fine.” You nod, a weak smile on your lips. Gaz takes a few deep breaths, calming himself as he cradles your head, pressing some kisses to every inch of skin he could reach. “Kyle- please..!” You laugh, it splutters into coughs as you gently push him away. “Sorry- i’m just… i’m so happy you’re okay.” He mutters, hugging you instead.
You sigh softly, wrapping your arms around him whilst being careful of your IV. “Deep breaths.” You whisper, rubbing his back slowly as you close your eyes once more. You’re still tired, very tired, but you wanted to console your boyfriend. Kyle follows your words, soothing himself as he stops himself from squeezing you too tightly. “The captain helped you. I didn’t even know you went into shock.” He laughs meekly as he pulls away. “Kyle.” You deadpan, hand wiping the dry blood from his cheek. “It’s not your fault.” You tell him, taking a soft breath after. The bandages didn’t make breathing easy, yet you didn’t particularly care. “I… it’s just- you could of died saving me..! I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if-“ you sit up, pressing a kiss to his lips to hush him.
“It’s not your fault. I did what I had to.” You whisper, letting him ease you to a more comfortable position sitting up. “But you shouldn’t of had to do it..!” Kyle argues softly. “Kyle, baby. I know you can handle yourself, but… I wanna help when I can. This is something that could happen any time, you know that. I can’t just sit by as you’re being hurt..! What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t help you.” You try to joke, letting your fingers slip between his once more. “I don’t want you to die because of me.” Kyle whispers, eyes still glassy as he looks at you. “I’m still here, aren’t I?” You point out, smiling slightly. “Yeah… but I… I can’t go through this again, baby.” He glances away. “Hey. It’s part of the job. It’s not my first time in here, you know that.” You lift your hand to gently swipe a tear upon his cheek. “But it’s your first time being shot..!” Your boyfriend argues, looking back at you. You stay silent at the harsh tone, watching him gather himself. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t be upset with you.” He exhales, you smile, kissing his lips gently.
“It’s alright, baby. Just try and relax, okay? I’m fine.” You respond, leaning your head on his shoulder as he hugs you. “We still going to the coffee shop?” You ask, tracing your fingertips over his forearm gently. “Of course, baby. My treat.” Gaz responds, kissing your forehead. “Good. You’ll love it there.” You smile softly, voice growing more tired. “Get some rest.” Kyle mumbles, slowly laying you down to prevent any strain. “Lay with me?” You reach out, grasping his arm, thumb rubbing his skin softly. “Are you fit for that?” Kyle asks anxiously, resting his hand over yours. “Of course I am. Besides, I need you here.” You admit quietly, shuffling over to make room upon the hospital bed. Kyle slips his boots off to prevent dirtying the sheets as well as his gear so he could be more comfortable, slowly lying down beside you. You roll onto your side, adjusting the IV pole carefully so it didn’t tug when you curled your arms around your lover. Kyle hugs you, squeezing you firm enough that it was comfortable but not too hard to hurt. “G’night, baby.” You mumble, nuzzling your face into his neck. Kyle let’s his chin rest atop your head. “Night, baby.” He responds, letting himself relax fully as you fall asleep.
Within the early hours of the morning, Price stops by, peering in to check if Gaz is still there. He freezes, the sight of the two of you curled up around each other was not what he was expecting. The light from the hallway seeps in, and you raise your head sleepily to see who was there. “Sorry,” Price mumbles, giving you a dismissive wave. You hum, head moving back to Kyle’s shoulder as you readjust yourself, getting more comfy. With as much carefulness as he can, he takes a picture for Kate to see later before slowly closing the door. A smile spreads on his lips as he shakes his head. “Kids.” He mutters, heading out of the medical wing.
tags: established relationship, very domestic, fluff!!!, talks about having children, i love him sm 😭
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JOHN’S CHEST RISES and falls with each deep breath. You’re on your phone, back pressed to his chest, other hand resting upon his forearm, gently rubbing circles with your thumb. John loved his work, but he loved you more; he always craved being beside you, having you in his arms. The bedroom is quiet, other than a fan running to keep you both cool in the summer heat. “John, look.” You smile, offering him your phone. Just as he’s about to take it, a line on your wrist catches his attention. Slowly, he takes the phone, trying to peer at what was on your skin, yet you moved your hand away as he took it. It was a simple post of a saint bernard puppy, his favourite breed of dog. It makes him smile. “His name is Cash. Isn’t he adorable?” You giggle, rolling over in your husband’s arms to huddle closer to his chest. “Yeah, very.” He hums, handing you your phone back. You’re smiling as you continue scrolling.
Eventually, curiosity gets the better of John, and he gently grasps your wrist, pulling ever so slightly. You glance at him, watching his eyes trace over the tattoo upon your wrist. It was only small, barely noticeable. “When’d you get this?” He asks softly, smiling a little. “A few weeks ago. Do you like it?” You respond, a ghost of a laugh on your voice. It was a small, fluffy bear with a bucket hat on. John’s eyes are bright with amusement. “I love it.” He chuckles, it rumbles in his chest as he lifts your wrist; pressing a kiss over the mark. “Ive been talking about one for a while, and I figured i’d get something of you. To remind me you’re still here even when you’re away.” You explain, letting him run his thumb over your inked skin. “Maybe I should get something of you.” He muses, looking at you.
“I thought you didn’t want tattoos.” You tease, kissing his lips gently as John lowers your wrist once more. “I’d do anything for you.” He mutters, smile creasing his eyes. “Sap.” You chuckle, gently hitting his chest. “What would you get?” You add on, resting your head upon your lover’s shoulder. “A swan, maybe on her phone.” He half-jokes. “A swan?” You giggle, looking at him. “Mhm. They’re beautiful birds, very elegant, very precious too. You’re definitely my swan.” He smiles, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Aw, John.” You croon, cupping his cheek to press a sweet kiss to his lips. “Perhaps you should make a design for me.” John suggests, holding you closer. “Yeah? Maybe I could…” You reply, letting your head rest once more. “Mhm. I’ve seen your little doodles. It would feel more… special, intimate.” He adds on, fingers brushing over yours before tangling between them, he brings your hand up to a soft kiss; focusing upon your ring finger where your wedding band sits.
“I’ll see what I can do.” You respond, smiling brightly. “Good, good. I can’t wait to see what you come up with.” John chuckles, already picturing what little creations you could come up with. “Let’s just hope your boys don’t tease you.” You joke, scrolling through your social media’s once more. “They wouldn’t.” John rolls his eyes playfully. “Mmm… they would.” You smile, kissing his collarbone. John let’s out a soft chuckle. “They’ve been asking about you.” He notes. “Yeah?” You chuckle, looking up at him. “Mhm. It’s all ‘how’s our mama bear?’ and ‘when can we see her again?’ It’s mainly Johnny, you know how he is.” He laughs gently, you smile. “They’re probably the closest we’ll have to kids.” You joke, knowing how fond they were of you. “I think kids would be less difficult.” John grins. “Yeah,” you laugh. “Kids don’t have access to C4.” John lets out a joking groan. “Don’t remind me.” You laugh again, gazing at your husband as the room settles once more. “What..?” He muses, smiling gently at you. “Nothing.” You smile wider, kissing him.
“Nah, somethings up. What?” He muses, hand rubbing your back. “Just… would you want kids? A family?” You ask, pressing your head into his neck. “Of course. We’d have adorable kids.” He chuckles, “They’d look like you, i’m sure.” He adds on. “Yeah?” You smile, squeezing his torso a little tighter. “Yeah. I wouldn’t mind having a few kids with you, doll.” John insists, muscular arms moving around you securely. You giggle softly, snuggling closer. “I love you.” You tell him, chest elated with joy. “I love you more, darling. Get some rest, eh? It’s getting late.” John whispers, kissing the top of your head. “Alright. Good night, John.” You respond, curling closer. “Night, lovely.”
summary: alex relishes the time he gets to share with you after being put on medical leave.
tags: ptsd, losing limbs, trauma recovery, established relationship, fluff with angst, clingy! alex, sharing a bed, sharing clothes, just two idiots in love, self deprecation
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ALEX BREATHES SLOWLY, his exhale fanning over the bare skin of your shoulder. You’re fast asleep, completely unaware of him still being awake in the early hours of the morning. Alex had a habit of sitting and pondering, it was both a comfort and also a curse. He hated silence, but sometimes he hated his thoughts even more; he certainly didn’t want to wake you for petty comfort over practically nothing. Of course, you’d insist that any discomfort was worth soothing away with gentle touches and hushed kisses behind closed doors, but Alex knows his mind, he can fight the creeping bile that sits in his sternum as he closes his eyes.
It truly never feels real, how he almost died, how he lost his leg; how he almost left you behind despite always promising he’d come home to you. Alex’s eyes open again, and he’s in his home; in bed, arms wrapped around you. He isn’t on a battlefield, bleeding out somewhere, nor on a medical gurney with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. Leaning forward, his sweaty forehead presses to your cool shoulder, facial hair slightly tickling you as you shuffle, taking a soft, sleepy breath. Alex waits for you to soothe again before moving, lips kissing your shoulder ever so gently before he nuzzles his face into the back of your neck. Holding you felt so surreal, like he was holding love itself- that ignited feeling never went away, and Alex knows he doesn’t want it to. He wants to love you forever.
Your hand presses over his, thumb running over his knuckles as you hum softly. “Go back to sleep.” He whispers, voice scratchy and coarse due to lack of use. “What’s the matter?” You stifle a yawn, leaning your back against his chest. “It’s nothing, hon. Just rest, yeah? You’ve got a busy day tomorrow.” Alex kisses behind your ear, turning his hand to thread his fingers between yours. You hum again, rolling over in his arms, letting your own arms curl around his middle as you bury your head under his chin. “You can always talk to me, baby. We’re in this together.” You croon, kissing his collarbone so gently he barely felt it. “I know, I just want you to rest for now. I know you’ve been stressed. It’s not easy having a crippled boyfriend.” Alex laughs, it’s strained.
You frown. “You’re not an inconvenience, so don’t even try that all that talk with me.” You scold, softly hitting his back. “Sorry.” Alex exhales; as tired as he is, he doesn’t want to close his eyes. “We’re in this together, baby. I promised you i’d always be here.” You let your hand move from his back, slowly massaging his tricep, just under his elbow. “I know, honey. I… I’m really thankful, for you… for the team. This hasn’t been easy. I can still feel my leg sometimes- it throws me off.” Alex finally closes his eyes, taking a small breath. “I know it’s not easy, love. But you’re strong, you’ve been doing so well at adjusting. You can do this.” You assure him, moving your head to press a kiss to his upper lip. Alex immediately chases you as you pull away, kissing you properly. “Thank you, baby.” He mutters, hand rubbing soft circles over your hip. “Of course..! I’ll always be here for support.” You coo, nose brushing against his gently. “Whether it’s in the middle of the night, in public or private; or even if you call me on the job. I’ll never abandon you.”
Alex smiles, warmth collected in his chest. “I love you, hon. You mean the world to me.” His voice rumbles a little in his chest due to the low volume, you hum softly in return. “I love you too, Alex.” You respond, kissing him again. “Are you going to try and sleep?” You ask, hand moving from his arm to cup his cheek, thumb rubbing against his cheekbone as your other fingers massage his jaw. Alex exhales softly, loving how your fingertips feel against his face. “I dunno, doll.” He mumbles. “That’s okay, baby. We can have some hot chocolate and maybe put on a movie?” You suggest, pulling away from his embrace as you sit up. “You need rest, baby.” He reminds you with a frown. It’s true, you were exhausted, but caring for your boyfriend in a hard time was your number one priority.
“It’s fine, hon. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or upset.” You get up, pulling one of Alex’s shirts up over your head. Alex sits up, watching you in the dim light that seeped through the curtains. He knows he can’t say anything to convince you to get back into bed, watching as you saunter from the bedroom, turning on the hall light as you went. Shaking his head, Alex leans over, grasping his crutches. Slowly moving his leg over the bed, his foot hits the floor- he almost feels sick as his stump hangs off the bed. Taking a deep breath, Alex stands, leaning his weight upon the crutches. It was certainly difficult- he was embarrassed to be in public as he ambled so slowly beside you, yet you’d only smile patiently as you held open doors and rested a comforting hand upon his back. He didn’t deserve you.
Slowly, he moves his crutches forward before taking another step, then another, then another. It’s a very slow process, but he’s getting better at it. The kitchen light is on, and Alex takes a soft breath. The small apartment you two lived in felt like a massive mansion due to how long it would take Alex to get room to room. As he steps forward, his foot slips, back hitting the floor with a harsh thud as his crutches clutter to the ground. With a defeated sigh, Alex tries to blink away tears- he felt useless. “Baby, are you alright?!” You stress, kneeling beside him, hand gently touching his head. “Yeah- sorry… just slipped is all.” Alex sighs, staring at the ceiling above. “Oh, Alex…” you whisper, wiping the corners of his eyes gently. “I’m sorry.” He responds on instinct- he’d been doing that a lot recently. “Don’t be. Come on, let’s get you up.” Slowly, you help Alex up, having him lean upon the wall as you grab one of his crutches. “Lean on this,” you hand him the crutch, letting him slowly lean his weight upon it as you retrieve the other.
“I feel like such a burden.” Alex huffs out a bitter laugh, watching you frown. “No, you’re not. Not to me.” You kiss his cheek, resting a hand upon his back as he slowly tries walking again. Slowly, he finally eases himself onto the couch, sighing softly. “Stay right here, hon. I’ll finish making our drinks.” Leaning down, you kiss his cheeks, cradling his head for a second before pulling away. Alex slumps into the cushions with defeat. He missed going on runs, it was one of his favourite things to do in the mornings, but now he could barely walk to the kitchen without needing you to help him. “How pathetic…” he muses bitterly, glaring at the stump where his full leg once was. “So fucking stupid- why did I let this happen?” Clenching his right fist, Alex takes a deep breath- slowly trying to release the guilt from his chest.
“Alex, baby. Are you alright?” You ask, sitting beside him as you hand him a freshly hot mug. “Yeah, m’fine.” He breathes out, hand tangling into yours as you rest your mug upon your thigh, grabbing the tv remote. “What do you feel like watching?” You ask, head resting against his shoulder. “I don’t mind, baby. You choose.” Alex responds, closing his eyes. He’s back in that damn place again, jaw clenched- head spinning, Farah is there, helping him- trying to bring him back to consciousness. He can feel his leg, it hurts- “Alex.” You pat his shoulder a little, he opens his eyes. He’s on the couch with you, your eyes are worried. “Are you okay?” You ask softly, hand lingering upon his shoulder, thumb smoothing his creased shirt as he breathes. “Yeah. I’m all good, baby. Just… remembering things.” He responds, blinking a few times. “Try to focus on the tv, baby. Just relax.” You kiss his jaw softly, ignoring how his beard scratches your face as you settle against him. Alex throws a spare arm around your shoulders, squeezing you close as his other hand holds his mug, resting it upon the thigh of his mostly missing leg.
As Alex sits in thought, mostly thoughts full of self deprecating words and loathing himself, he’s brought back by you; you’re just shuffling to get a little more comfortable, but it alerts him of his surroundings again. He’s in home, he can see you, feel you, smell the jasmine incense you’re always burning throughout the day as you adored the smell, as well as insisting that it promoted happiness and would help Alex relax. Alex exhales, it’s slow- soothing. Taking a sip of his hot chocolate, he watches the old sitcom rerun you had found on one of the channels, relishing the comfort of a laugh track.
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