Never Stop Dreaming

Anna. 21. Reader, writer, music enthusiast. Giant anime and video game nerd. I'm nicer than I seem I promise don't be afraid to talk to me! Also, follow me on Twitter @NotYourXRay I'm not funny but I pretend to be.

[sockablock]

More universal experiences that prove why D&D is both the best and worst game ever

“Alright, make a perception check.” “Okay…shit. Natural 1.” “[Shrug]. Everything seems fine.”

“And…that’s a thirty-three to hit.” “YEAH, I THINK THAT HITS.”

“You all approach an underground ca—“ [The Players, in unison]: “I have darkvision.”

“Maybe it’s friendly.” “Oh my god, shut up.”

“I charge in!” “I follow!” “…[heavy sigh]. I chase after them, I guess.”

“Okay, what’s your marching order?” “…..why do you ask?” “Oh, no reason in particular.”

“I rolled a ten, plu—fuck. Minus two.” “God, why do we keep letting you roll persuasion?”

“What time is it right now?” “Around midday.” “I have Keen Mind, which means—“ “Fine, fine. It’s exactly 12:22:31. Are you happy now?”

“…….[sigh]. I’ll allow it.”

“Wait, wait, what was [NPC]’s name again?” “You don’t know. You assholes didn’t ask.”

And, of course, the timeless classic:

“Do you touch the chest?” “Uh…yeah. Wait, should I not have?” “[the DM rolling dice] It’s a little late for that now, buddy.”

[dndatthecrossroads]

The Classes As John Mulaney Quotes

from the warlock who brought you troubled birds, i now bring you…. 

john mulaney quotes

Barbarian:

Bard:

Cleric:

Druid:

Fighter:

Monk:

Paladin (to party)

Ranger:

Rogue:

Sorcerer (when wild magic):

Warlock:

Wizard:

[prokopetz]

I’m not saying I’m definitely an NPC, but if I am a protagonist, the game I’m starring in is probably free-to-play.

[winterwombat]

Makes sense:

I can only do something useful once every few hours

Ads are everywhere

The pacing seems designed to be deliberately frustrating

A lot of the hassle would go away if had a ton of money

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

me as i ingest unhealthy amounts of carbohydrates to drown out my problems 

[meatpower]

The desire to pick up any large sticks and carry them around for no reason

[meatpower]

amazing reply

[gillandgilbertquotes]

Brian David Gilbert, a moodboard

[jehovahhthickness]

It’s wild how people disrespect the shit out of you if they don’t find you attractive.

[bogleech]

You know, with all the language throughout Star Wars about “giving in” to the Dark Side, how the Dark Side makes you more powerful, how the Dark Side makes you age strangely and destroys you, it sure doesn’t sound like an “opposite side of the coin” so much as the “deeper end of the pool,” like it’s actually the true form of the force and being a Jedi is about keeping it tamed so it doesn’t eat you the way it actually wants.

[sinbadism]

the force is entropy

[asgardreid-deactivated20180407]

Eldritch Jedi pls

[daxxglax]

This is one of the reasons i love the second Knights of the Old Republic game, wherein one of the major characters (who defines herself neither as Jedi nor Sith) actually views the Force this way, saying  “I hate the Force. I hate that it seems to have a will, that it would control us to achieve some measure of balance, when countless lives are lost.”

It’s also the game that gave us the two most entropic, eldritch characters in the franchise: Darth Nihilus, whose dark-side-borne ability to feed on the Force and consume life itself has twisted him into a half-living “wound in the Force”, more presence than flesh

and Darth Sion, whose entire body is a ruin, his flesh nothing but ragged scar tissue, every bone and muscle broken and torn, kept animated by will alone as he forces himself, second by agonizing second, to exist

I wish there were more horrifying perspectives on the force like that

[jollysunflora]

#the force is a horrorterror

[screamfort]

This is one of the reasons the term “Light Side” never felt right to me, even before it was used in any official media; The Force always struck me more like an ocean than a binary concept: the deeper you go, the darker and more crushing it gets — at a certain point becoming an effectually consistent darkness — and while light filters down and fades for some distance, if there is a truly light “side” it’d be the surface.

Which isn’t to say “the Force is evil unless you flounder about near the top” — just that it’s a natural force, and as such is something you need to respect and be adequately prepared for. (Take electricity, for example: super awesome and pretty dang useful, but OH HOLY SMOKES don’t try and harness it unless you REALLY know what you’re doing!)

In this sense, being tempted by the Dark Side is less a case of “Hey, I wonder what’s on the other side of this coin it looks pretty cool haha oh whoops I’m Space Walter White now,” and more one of “The deeper into this thing you go, the harder you’ll need to fight to resist the ever-increasing pressure, to remain whole, even to just see whatever the heck you’re actually doing.”

(which is why Jedi training is so important: those padawans gotta build themselves a mental Deepsea Challenger!)

[jasjuliet-deactivated20240828]

THIS META BLESSED ME

[sugarbabybucky-deactivated20190]

i am alive. kotor is a fucking blessing and im honestly so pissed they de-canonized it because that shit was a wealth of incredibly deep and fascinating world building they essentially tossed out the window. Kotor offered an entirely different perspective on the force; there is so much more to it than the antiquated good vs. evil concept we see in the films. 

[sinningsquire]

I always imagined “the narrow path of the Jedi” like a surfer riding a wave and desperately balancing to stay above the water as long as they can, whereas the Dark Side would be more like becoming the wave, rolling with it and all its power - but ultimately, like every wave, breaking.

[yahargul]

men who try to shame women for liking calming games like animal crossing or minecraft or whatever are so pitiful. like maybe if u planted some virtual flowers to some calming music for a few hours u wouldnt be such a lil bitch

[writing-prompt-s]

The royal family employs no bodyguards. A would-be assassin discovers why.

[galwednesday]

“Please?” the crown prince said hopefully.

The assassin hesitated. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this.”

“Come on, you’re doing great. Just one stab, it’ll be easy-peasy.” The prince  spread his arms wide, leaving his throat and chest vulnerable.

“Look, I’m going to level with you,” the assassin said. “I took this contract on the assumption that you were a bad dude. Usually when a country goes bankrupt this fast, it’s because whoever’s in charge is raiding the treasury. But once I infiltrated the guard, I actually had to spend time around you, and you’re just.” The assassin threw her hands up in disgust. “You’re a really nice person! There’s no getting around it! So I’m not super on board with murdering you now. Nothing personal.”

“But if you don’t, my sisters won’t get the life insurance payout, and the country will be in debt for the next century!”

“I’m pretty sure arranging for your own assassination is insurance fraud.”

“Your whole job is to commit murder,” the prince said, “and now you’re worried about a little insurance fraud?”

The assassin pinched the bridge of her nose. “Okay, let’s back up and think about this rationally. Have you considered faking your own death?”

[leaper182]

This was not what I was expecting, and it is glorious.

[osakasa]

This is how I hold a pen in case you were wondering

[nonochton]

git gud

[baconpal]

Step aside, boys

[pomki]

>using hands.

plebs.

[taiikodon]

[marcosclopezblog]

[marcosclopezblog]

[angrymintleaf]

It got better

[matchagirl]

sorry but if your bed isn’t against at least one wall you’re not valid

[hurleyquinnzel]

Are you telling me there are people out there who have their beds just floating in the middle of their rooms like animals?

[blessed-with-southern-sweetness]

This makes me so uneasy

[draumboosky]

You have to defend from all sides I don’t like it

[kitty]

from missenell

[bunjywunjy]

“ONE OF THESE WILL HATCH, SOMEDAY.”

[reddpenn]

Anyway, do you guys want to see my Cool Rocks?

This is my grandfather’s rock.  It is Probably a Garnet, which he mined out himself when he was in college studying to be a geologist.

Though you may assume this is a Small Rock, it is in fact a very Large Rock, and also a very Heavy Rock, but most especially a very Square Rock, which is what makes it particularly cool.

Here we have a rock which used to be a tree.  This rock is petrified wood!  It was one of my very first Cool Rocks!

Speaking of rocks that used to be things that were not rocks, this rock is Petoskey stone!  This rock used to be a coral.  Let’s get a good look at those patterns.

Now that’s a Cool Rock!

Amethyst?  It’s an Okay Rock.  If you are looking for an inexpensive rock to start your collection, amethyst is the way to go.  It’s a quartz with a deep purple color.  A very nice, if average, rock.

Now citrine… Citrine is a Cool Rock!  It’s a smoky quartz with a lovely honey color.  The druzy on my chunk of citrine has a wonderful sparkle.

This is my Amazonite!  It grew that hexagon shape all by itself!!  This specimen is from Colorado.

Look at this shiny little slice of rock!  This rock is Tiger Iron, and those bands of red and orange glow beautifully with some light behind them.  These different colored bands are made from Hematite (the dark silver), Jasper (the red-orange), and Tiger-Eye quartz (the yellow-orange).

Here’s a rock you’ve probably seen before!  This Cool Rock is Malachite.  The patterns and rings are from the stalagmites this little egg was carved from.

Whoa, look at this giant slab of Extremely Cool Rock!!!  These crystals formed in the cracks of fossilized mud, to make the awesome patterns in this geode of Septarian!  This is my second best rock.

This is my Best and most Favorite Cool Rock.  In this dark room it’s a dull little grey rock, but if I move it closer to the light…

Those glints of gold!  Those veins of blue!  This rock is most certainly Labradorite, which changes color spectacularly when the light hits it just right.  Let’s put it in direct sunlight.

Yes!!  YES!!  There it is!!  The Best and Coolest Rock!!!!!

[milomeepit]

This is so pure

[annazombierobber]

@forever-stepping-on-legos

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Not to be dramatic but seeing/coming into contact with ancient stuff is an overwhelming experience. I can’t look at a damn mummy without imaginging every facet of who they may have been in life. I was in a cave once to see a stone full of grooves where people had sharpened stone weapons thousands of years ago and I was told I could touch the grooves and my spirit left my body on contact. I fell through time and space. What the fuck

[bellamynochillblake]

we’re going to have to call smut ‘lemons’ again, aren’t we? 

[im-reddie]

LEMONS!? WHEN THE FUCK WAS THIS?!

[bellamynochillblake]

oh you sweet summer child 

[fool-errant]

I actually made this a button last convention

[smooththegoofyshark]

Gaud I remember when it was lemons, I feel old now

[butteryswimmingthing]

explain pls

[smooththegoofyshark]

No

[smol-bean-meme-machine]

What are lemons??

[phylix]

I don’t own the copyright to this, others own the show. All I have is this saaaad little computer and a sketch pad. ^-^ Please don’t sue! I don’t need anymore stress!

Please R&R!!!!!!!

No flames. >///<

[lotrlocked]

lol this story contains slash! Don’t like don’t read. Rated M. AragornxLegolas. lemon. Lololol ^-^ NO FLAMES OR I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY STABBITY SPORK OF Death! -__-

[dayoldhakarl-deactivated2021011]

#this post made me age ten thousand years.

[marloviandevil]

A/N: Things are probably going to be very OOC but who cares, It’s my fic, I do what I want! MUAHAHAHA!

[thefloatingstone]

Things story is lime but it might get a little lemony in later chapters ^.^ R&R no flaming!!! I don’t own the characters

[cocofinny]

[honestlymydude]

[friendlyneighbourhoodpizzaman]

i love old ladies

i’m at the bus stop and these two very old ladies suddenly recognize each other and very sincerely one goes “holy shit you’re still alive!!” and the other says “i’m gonna outlive my husband if it kills me”