She/Her Aro/kindaace. Currently Dndading. I mostly post fic updates for my kiddad drabbleverse stuff. Not exactly a mental health advocate but I sure do talk about it a lot. Feel free to DM me. I'm friendly I promise.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
I finally figured out the plot to this thing so you all get the link.
Wherein Nicky has a crush on Cass, and Nick has a crush on Lark, and Lark likes Nicky but he and Nicholas can't stop fighting, and Cass thinks she likes Nicky most of the time, but something is up there, and she and Lark were psyche ward buddies because Lark is crazy and Cass is a recovering child actress and none of them know who they really are.
Look, this post has been wildly more popular than I thought it deserved, apparently at least in part because "don't burden others; be independent" is far more ingrained in people than I realized. So here's the thing: society works when people help each other. Helping others gives people a chance to know each other, and gives them an investment in the people they help. Helping creates bonds. People enjoy helping, and you are doing a good by letting them help you if they so wish.
Offer help; accept help. You will be a part of creating a helping culture. Which, incidentally, weakens capitalism and the fractionation between people that benefits those who would use us.
I am crashed out from excessive work and having family in town this month, but if you have disability pride month requests hit me up! Writing brings me a lot of joy so getting to write little things delights me.
I can’t believe that (a) four of five pieces I submitted to the DnDads Pride Zine were accepted and (b) this one in particular because it’s just so silly. But boy did I have fun!
What if, as well as Grant having OCD, Terry had OCD as well? I can absolutely see him having moral OCD specifically
I have. a bad memory, so I'm not the best at taking things from canon to back up my ideas, but what I'm thinking about first is Terry begging Glenn to kill him. The ultimate dream ❤️ I'm evil, balance the scales by killing me.
The second thing I'm thinking about is his mom being a therapist. I think for him it's incredibly hard to live with the uncertainty that he's done bad things. Being raised with a therapist mom made him think that there's a right way to do things, like if he was just fully self actualized he could avoid any moral failings, never hurt anyone, make the right choices, so why can't he! In his coffee haze desperate desire to save the world (to balance the scales on all the "bad" he's done) he also ruminates on everything he's ever done wrong. Real Event OCD mixed with Moral OCD (I'm not projecting! You're projecting!)
It takes YEARS to figure out that he has it because everyone including himself just brushes it off as wanting to be a good person. I think Grant is the one to clock it? I could make a case for other people but in a world where Grant has OCD too, he would be the best equipped to be like "You've asked for reassurance that you're a good person like three times today are you...maybe...compulsing?" or Veronica seeing this all from the outside and going hmmmm something's not right. Pretty much give me enough time and I could make a case for any of them catching him.
Dare I say another OCD fic for disability pride month. For real though I have too much going on but this was such a good prompt. Made me go hmmmmm interesting. Might have more thoughts later.
a funny thing about having conversations with people within institutions (academic in this case but also others) about gatekeeping, is that you end up having a conversation over and over in which you're like, "hey this alligator spike pit moat you have erected around your institution is keeping a lot of people out," and they're like, "well *I* navigated the alligator spike pit moat just fine," and you're like, "right. by dint of us having this conversation, you within the institution and me without, it is understood that you navigated the alligator spike pit moat. due to that being an inherent requirement of entering the institution," and they're like, "I don't think you understand the prestigious history of our alligator spike pit moat," and you're like, "is there a reason why there needs to be an alligator spike pit moat encircling the concept of higher education?" and they're like, "look, the alligator spike pit moat isn't for everyone. some people just aren't cut out for the alligator spike pit moat :)" and you're like, "right, yeah, like disabled people and people coming from poverty or unstable home environments or underserved communities or people dealing with difficult to navigate life events like pregnancy or abuse or prison or addiction or the death of a loved one, for example" and they're like, "how dare you imply that we are keeping those people out on purpose. it's their own problem if they can't wrestle the alligators and avoid the spikes while also disabled and/or poor and/or pregnant etc" and you're like, "well that seems evil," and they're like, "it sounds like maybe you're just bitter about the alligator spike pit moat because of your totally random individual experience with ONE bad alligator spike pit moat. have you considered therapy?" and you're like, "did you know that there's some patterns here in terms of how y'all are handling this stuff?" and they're like, "actually yes. we even have a department of alligator spike pit studies :)" and you're like, "that's great, how do I get access to and participate in those conversations?" and they're like, "well firstly you must cross the alligator spike pit moat"
Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:
SHRIMP COCKTAIL:
banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol
generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is
#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro
And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!
POMEGRANATES:
zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple
thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute
sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.
FRUIT TREES:
zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''
salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE
baander: #cranberry trees
DOUGH/BATTER:
maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre
livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles
lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY
Some other topics:
ANIMALS:
catenarwhal: #mandatory 'how cows produce milk' mention#i'll never recover from that one I fear
piromantic: #one time i saw someone fake their way through describing how spiders behave
pluto-lichen: horses
misskittypotter: #stardew valley faking its way through what fresh fish smell like
pa-pa-plasma: #saw someone faking their way through knowing what a seal is once #i still am fucked up over that one to this day. they just straight up did not know #& they were NOT good at guessing it either like it was clear they had never googled that animal ever #& was only just now realizing via answering questions from anons that seals are not!! what they assumed. initially
SEX:
dykevandyke: #what a prostate is #and where it is located #as in. external.
dreamyeyedrose: #I remember back in the ff.net days reading an Ichigo/Renji fic where the writer assumed the penises go inside each other #and I was like “I mean I don't know how it works for sure I don't have one but idk if that's how it works”
SOME OTHER FOOD STUFF:
thetrekkiehasthephonebox: #add another one to the list bloggers#this character is cooking a salad
shosta: #still baffled about the published work that didn't know food could freeze
sun-dari: #once i read a fic where the author didn't understand cinnamon
alto-tenure: #read something recently where the author was just. blatantly wrong about spices
dramatic-dolphin: #i saw someone try to fake their way through what ramen is once. like 14 years ago.#but i remember.#i was very confused about ramen for a few months. they were writing it so authoritatively.
the-celery-stalks-at-midnight: #i will never ever forget someone putting leftover fries in the microwave to reheat them and setting the timer for five minutes
typeghost: #this sparked a memory of a hannibal fic where the author had to fake their way through writing about gravy
draculin: #the one fanfic where the author knows about coffee only as a concept wrote a character as a coffee drinker#was very interesting#I don't remember the fandom or the plot but I was mesmerized by the coffee actions and choices
11235811235811: #there's a lot of faking their way thru congee in the svsss fandom i'll also note
fishali3n: #read one where the person clearly didnt know what tofu is
emmy-everafter: #in the aftermath of shadow and bone s2 i saw a lot of people pretending to know what stroopwafels are #babes they are more like cookies than breakfast waffles #like yes there is a waffle pattern but you're not gonna cut into a stack of them with syrup and sugar#🤣🤣🤣
NON-FOOD STUFF:
red-umbrella-811: Shoutout to Dame Agatha Christie for faking her way through what a wrench is in a very popular published work.
bluebeetle: #once saw someone have a character put an entire phone book in their pocket
nonametis: #- sex talk in languages other than english #<- or just the petnames in a different language other than English
sadisticpony: #the fanfiction i saw this week where op DIDNT KNOW HOW AUTOMATIC DOORS WORKED #and that they arent in peoples homes!!! of course. also opening the automatic door for someone is unironically very funny but its not #its not like. grabbing the door handle to let someone in. helpppp
danmeichael: #reminds me of the fic with the figure drawing class where the character started with the feet. #i love you feet first figure drawing author
meowmix1100blr: #me watching this one fic absolutely obliterate what the board of directors does
vexedhexes: #one time i read an architect character making a doorway bigger by building a bigger door #what a beautiful world. #OH. also gravity falls fic where they go 'oh piedmont is in california so its warm all year round'
leveragehunters: #characters going to a beer garden #And it's literally a garden outside the pub#It was a very cute mistake
fitofpique: #yes! #grown men do not get blind drunk off two beers #but i am possibly guilty of the hypothermia one #assuming it does not make you very horny?
dadvans-likes: #always thinking abt the soup kitchen fic #the entire setting of the fic was 'soup kitchen' #and i very quickly realized #the author did not know what a soup kitchen was #and they thought that soup kitchens only served soup #fic
msmargaretmurry: #i love fanfiction #once read a fic where the characters played 20 questions #but the author seemed to not know how to play 20 questions and was just kind of winging it........ #immaculate
shakespeareaddict: #Look I know not all of us are hockey experts #But it takes about ten seconds of research or any attention paid to the show to realize #That the Stanley cup playoffs are not in fucking September
baejax-the-great: #the funniest one i saw #was someone faking what church is like #like 1. they really didn't have to write an entire church experience for their fic #and 2. they had clearly never even watched a show where people went to church #it was bonkers weird
twosunson: #things ive seen authors faking #knowing how to unclog a drain #knowing. literally any history #knowing what ketamine looks like (apparently- oregano) #(you know who you are)
waterhorseyblues-ao3: #beltane being celebrated in winter #wales being portrayed as a completely separated land from england (i wish) #characters getting up after weeks of bedrest like that dosnt completely fuck you up
violetfairydust: #i once read a fic where the flight time from london to seattle was 3 hours
purekesseltrash: One time, in a fic set specifically in Des Moines, IA, two of the characters casually drove 20 minutes to the ocean. The memory continues to delight me. I want to know where that author thought that Iowa was.
I love the aroace Rylan Grace stuff. Like so so much. Which has made me realize I feel like I'm bracing myself for the word of god "oh no he's very straight" comment or a sequel where he falls in love. It happens to often that I feel like I've already lost. I must not succumb to despair. aroace Ryland Grace forever. <3
what if i made a shitty little fanfic about marco and grant from before they were married being online friends on fortnite and just watching as their relationship grew to be more than friends and into long distance boyfriends to eventually meeting in person for the first time and crying about it together while hugging in the middle of an airport? what do we think of that cause my mind is being plagued by this idea and i’m kinda bored with nothing to do during the summer soooo
something that i DO find fascinating abt both phm and interpretations of it is when folks say things along the lines of “the point of grace’s lack of attachments isn’t that he’s aroace, the point of grace’s lack of attachments is that he’s refused to open himself up enough to form ANY close bonds because he’s a coward” because like. not only is it very possible for both to be true, i think that reading both as being the case continues to enhance the story AND speaks a very honest truth about how being aroace might have affected his life?
like. imagine you are grace. you have a life you enjoy where you get to teach kids you’re fond of about a subject you love. you’ve been hanging out with your friend marissa weekly for years (!) and you have a lot of peers on project hail mary who you respect and even have fun with. but! you’re also like 40, and you know how the world works - at the end of the day, at the end of the project, all of those people will go back to their parents and families and partners. the people whose names are on their emergency contact forms and birth certificates and marriage licenses and apartment leases. no matter how much you care about them, and no matter how much they care about you, there is always someone else in their life who is Above you, and Before you, because That’s How The World Works.
so like… yeah. lmao. aroace grace not opening himself up all the way because he anticipates pain and wants to avoid that is a kind of protective hedging that i find very likely for him to engage in? even if he opens himself up to the people around him, the fact is that most of those people will only reciprocate to whatever degree they/society deem acceptable for friendship, even if they like him a lot.
which is why, imo, the very careful portrayal of grace and rocky’s friendship in the phm film reads as extremely aroace-coded. because it’s not “rocky specifically is Special and Likable in a way which fixes all of grace’s hangups and allows him to open up” - it’s “rocky has a partner to go home to, but on multiple occasions, puts grace Above and Before that in a way which grace is unused to, because grace comes from a society which culturally and legally devalues the types of relationships he wants and holds most dear.” and once rocky shows that he is willing to reciprocate friendship and care to a degree grace could never expect from anyone on earth, grace no longer needs to maintain the kind of emotional defenses he always has. grace likes rocky and wants to be friends from the moment they meet, of course, but only lets himself form SUCH a close bond after rocky demonstrates that he, too, does not place an earth-society-style limit on the strength of their friendship. and they’re both better off for it!
I think that in the Glenn Close timeline, Nick would have realized he was trans at a young age and been living as a boy for most of his life. Gender roles weren't a big part of Nick's childhood. Glenn and Morgan weren't raising a girl; they were raising a rockstar. So when Nick is trying to earn his parents' approval, he isn't concerned with meeting standards of being a girl; he's concerned with more androgynous ideas of "coolness". This gives him the space to drift over into male gender roles as he realizes those are more comfortable for him.
I also think that queer topics would be just a normal part of life in the Freeman-Close household. Before Morgan died, they probably went to Pride events as a family. I imagine Glenn would have been too busy or depressed to continue going after she died.
This is why, even though Glenn isn't very emotionally available and wouldn't be someone who's necessarily equipped to help Nick work through Big Gender feelings, he finds himself equipped to realize he is a boy at a young age.
In the Jodie Foster timeline, Nicholas does not realize he is trans until he begins to process his memories as Nick. Not because Jodie is outright transphobic, but rather he's just ignorant and not attached to queer culture in the same way. Jodie would have been raising A Girl; gender roles would have been put on Nicholas in a way they weren't on Nick. Not even harshly enforced, necessarily, but subconsciously present. And because Nicholas, like Nick, is largely defined by his need for his father's approval, that means being a perfect daughter. He could have continued repressing for years if he had never recovered his memories.
Nicky still holds a little bit of a grudge against Jodie because of it.
especially in love with eva stratt because like. shes so special to the fandom BECAUSE of her war crimes. everyone thinks shes sleeping with her second in command and she does NOTHING to dispel the rumors. she regularly commits insane crimes and doesnt show up to her court date. she downloaded the entire internet. she sent an unwilling man into space with an untested amnesia drug and that was the guy everyone thought she was sleeping with. and everyone loves her for it
