
blake kathryn
i don't do bad sauce passes
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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🪼
DEAR READER
Cosmic Funnies
One Nice Bug Per Day
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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Kiana Khansmith
AnasAbdin
we're not kids anymore.
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
d e v o n
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

@theartofmadeline
Keni
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@anonnnova
i have been in america lately and tried its Various cuisine’s here is my review
wendys
what i had: four for $4 burger and lemonade.
what i thought: this is the same as mcdonalds but there is a smiling girl! the guy who invented wendys was called somethng else so who is wendy. Food apparaition?
rating: 3/5. food was boring but mysterious girl warmed my heart
cook out
what i had: hot dog and shake
what i thought: holy shit. also milkshakes in america are like, solid ice cream. i was expecting nesquik
rating: 5/5. the hot dog was nauseating but cost a dollar and the cashier liked toys
steak n shake
what i had: you can only have burgers and shakes from this restaurant so thats what i got baby!! when in roam!! hasta la vista!!
what i thought: siri didnt know how to get there so we got lost on the highway at 1am. WOOPS!!! thats the american life
rating: 4/5. tasted like i was dying, but pleasantly
cracker barrel
what i had: friday fish fry up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what i thought: there was lots of old people in this restaurant. the waitress avoided me because my nails were painted. this is a well documented phenomneom but biscuits are definitely something different in this country than my country
rating: 2/5. scary torture cabin
costco
what i had: piza slice
what i thought: i know this isnt technicaly a restaurant but drinks were 50 cents so it gets an honorable mention. there was a crate of mayonnaise but i didnt try that.
rating: ???/5. costcos most precious secrets are lost to us all
chipotle
what i had: burrito. do they make other things?
what i thought: the logo is a chilli pepper but there werent actually any chilli peppers you could have in the food? i enjoyed the dainty red basket
rating: 3/5. guess burritos just always taste good, no matter what theyre made of. i think the chipotle burritos were made using some kind of food product but im not sure.
sonic drive thru
what i had: loaded chilli cheese dog’ fourht of july baby!! happy star wars day
what i thought: very inconceivable. there is a sit in a drive in and a drive thru and the sonic drive thru person comes over to your car in roller skates. its a made up cartoon store. it doesnt exist
rating: 5/5. we spent 20 minutes googling if you tip at sonic and in the end we drove off so my guilt prevents me from assessing it poorly
taco bell
what i had: it only sells tacos in like threes so i got three tacos.
what i thought: its like a dorito with a leaf stapled to it. why is it called taco bell? also, who am i, inside?
rating: 4/5. i flung six tacos in the microwave when we got back and i enjoyed watching them roll over each other playfully - made me think of my childhood and the political conspiracy around my birth.
sheetz
what i had: chicken nuggets at 2am
what i thought: it was interesting that about half of the items on the interactive menu ended with a ‘z’ rather than an s. while that was fun - i would not go so far as to say i died at sheetz but i certainly did not leave it in one piece due to the colossal spinning death blade embedded into the milkshake machine
rating: 5/5. ordering entirely through a little touchpad is a natural progression in a society of unwholesome, evil food production and distribution
i fell back into america again whilst praying to an enchanted well. the lady of the lake was like “your destiny is not finished yet” she knighted me and gave me 50 dollars and a mcdonalds coupon book
panera bread
what i had: pasta and bread
what i thought: i dont know what panera means but it might mean “bread”, as in “bread bread”. in america theres a chain restaurant for every one specific thing? this is the “bread” take-away, where you can pull up in the drive thru and just say “bread please” because youre not sure what else to get
rating: 4/5. hey this was pretty alright. if you get a soup bread bowl from the drive thru youre completely fucked though. youll spill it on your pants
dairy queen
what i had: Mountain Dew
what i thought: at “DQ” you can get a big birthday cake and eat it right in the store and they wouldnt stop you. The dairy queen was probably in the back but i didnt see her. instead a rambunctious guy came out with my boys burger and he shoved it into my hands as fast as possible. it was the only visible stop for miles except for a glowing, flashing “HIMALAYAN ROCK SALT” sign so i think he was protecting my soul!
rating: 3/5. MTN DEW products are of interest on-line. Wish i got the Himalayan rock salt instead though. (healthier)
olive garden
what i had: No mincing words here. I didn’t get any food at olive garden. The waiter was a ten foot tall luchador guy and he kicked my ass. He made me buy plants vs zombies on the service screen thing.
what i thought: N/A. I got my ass kicked at olive garden.
rating: 2.46/5. i left like a barrel of spaghetti at my friends house. shout out to maisie, i hope you like the spaghetti i didnt eat
krispy kreme
what i had: caramel filled donut (x12)
what i thought: i thought it was a language difference that donuts were “doughnuts” in the foreign ports of olde englan. but Krispy says it like the long way too. i guess it doesnt matter. lots of doughnuts but you can also purchase a miniature truck if thats what youd rather eat.
rating: 5/5. there’s a willy wonka conveyor belt thing here and everyone who works to make it happen is my savior and deserving of your worship
zaxbys
what i had: chicken finger meal thing
what i thought: apparently other americans dont know about this place either? but its the most straightforward restaurant ive ever been too. i was so hungry and simply whimpered “please give my mouth chicken”. they gave me a box just full of it. plus loads of fries and like three sauce things. and a slice of toast too just cuz Fuck it! Eat everything!
rating: 6/5. it was abe lincoln who first said “put loads of chicken in a box and swap it for bits of paper, as a joke or some kind of prank”
i ate the spaghetti that you elft here yesterday and it was fine but then i set it on a counter and my cat found and ate it so that was less fine and kind of inconvenient to my life but i think he enjoyed it
we’ll meet again in another life
Yunohira-onsen
A powerful witch runs away after the villagers try to execute her, couple years later children randomly start disappearing. She’s taking abused children away from their parents and raising them in the woods. But once they grow up and leave, they forget how to get to the witch’s house and their memories of her become blurry.
The town was evil. But the children? They were still pure, there was still good in their hearts, trickling out of their mouth and ears and gentle hands.
She stayed there for years, trying to protect them as much as she can. Even after the villagers had enough of a witch living amongst them, she still took in the lost children.
Every parent’s worst nightmare is their children growing up. The witch was no different.
Her kids, they called her mama once. And now when they passed her as adults, they didn’t even give her a second glance. As far as she figured, they didn’t remember her at all.
(She’d tried talking to Benjamin once, one of her favourites, because he had been a clingy child who couldn’t bear to leave her side. He was thirty when she tried visiting him. When she approached him, he treated her kindly, but the kind of pleasantness you show to strangers and not someone you call your mother.)
The witch was sad, of course. But there was nothing she could do; they had to go, sooner or later.
One of her boys entered her room. “Mama?”
It was Peter, her oldest. He was turning eighteen in a couple of days, and soon it would be his turn to leave.
It hurt her to see him already.
“Yes, love?”
“I am leaving soon,” Peter said. A statement, not a question. “But I don’t want to.”
“You have to, love. None of your siblings wanted to leave,” she answered, simply. “But the hour you turn eighteen, you’ll forget. And you’ll wander off, and then you’ll never find your way back.”
Peter looked sulky. “Isn’t there some way to make me not forget? I don’t want to forget you, ever.”
She almost laughed because of how close she was to crying. Her boy. Her sweet, sweet boy.
“I’m sorry, love.”
He slammed the door behind her when he left. Peter had always been a fiery one.
When she opened the door on the day of Peter’s eighteenth birthday, she expected him to be gone by then.
Instead, her boy was sitting on the bed cross-legged, holding an empty bottle.
He had drunk a potion. An anti-aging potion.
“I found a way, mama,” he said, his eighteen-year-old hands clasping here, firmly. “I don’t want to forget you.”
He left, too, when he got bored of being cooped up in the house with no company. But he visited her every few years, bringing her stories of how he visited children, following in her footsteps.
They called him Peter Pan, the boy who never grows up.
Check out the story tag for more short stories
Click on it twice. These are your two super powers.
everyone else always seems to fucking get cool shit and i always get like “gel manipulation” and “using dust along w/ your fighting style”
Vampire immunity and pain embodiment.
gorgon physiology and reality crossroads
Disgust embodiment and music aura
So I can choose how people feel around me. That’s nice 💜
Gel Manipulation and Philosophy Materialization
I can control/create any kind of gel/jelly substance/material and Philosophy Manipulation is this thing that I have no idea how it works:
The power to materialize a specific philosophical point of view from the metaphysical realm to the material realm.
User can shape reality according to their view of what it means to them.
What the hell does this means?
Demonic Energy Absorption: The power to absorb demonic energy and utilize it in some way.
Underwater Senses: The power to possess clear senses underwater.
Past Life Power Access and Necroscience
…. guess i have Death Abilities, then
Gravity manipulation and psychic inhibition. Apparently I am very, very scary.
scythe proficiency and paper manipulation
does this mean I’m a rural cubicle worker who has Officially Had Enough
reflex immunity and spinning inducement and can make myself not sneeze and create tornadoes with my body. neat.
“I have all these OCs! But no story…”
bruh
make a fighting game
But what if half your ocs are softys and not made for fighting?
dating sim
this post changed the game
Hey btw if you don’t know how to program, you should check out [novelty], which is a free Visual Novel creation software. Absolutely no programming required, and it’s super easy to use, I played with it some when I was a teen but the only reason I didn’t do much with it is cuz I made my story complicated and had like 5000 different branching routes that kept spawning new routes and made myself confused LMAO
But yeah, it’s a WYSIWYG with a really straight-forward GUI, if I remember correctly.
It even comes with some free backgrounds and characters and stuff, and this is what it looks like:
Did I mention it’s super duper free? It hasn’t been updated since 2010, but it has basically all you’d need to make a simple visual novel.
Just make sure your DirectX runtime is updated, cuz it can act buggy if it’s outdated, but this program is so old that I doubt it’d even be an issue lol
holy shit
This is so cool? Can you imagine fanfic in this format?
@becausedragonage @ashidoodle can I recommend Choice Script? It’s like a choose your own adventure coding program. The finished product looks like this, where every option sends you down a different path:
They are literally books you can play. You can even insert your own character’s name and pronouns and that would make writing reader inserts so much easier And as a writer who can not art, writing and making dating sims and games is more convenient.
The coding is also super simple and easy to learn and all it requires other than the program files is a text editor. And just like that you can start typing up like you would your own fanfics or stories. Plus it’s very versatile so you can make your game/book as simple or as complicated as you want, and even implement stats and inventory systems.
AND CHOICE SCRIPT IS ALSO SUPER DUPER FREE. THE COMPANY EVEN PUBLISHES YOUR FINISHED GAME FOR YOU AND GIVES YOU ROYALTIES IF YOU CHOOSE TO SELL IT. THE PROGRAM STILL GETS UPDATED AND THE COMPANY PUBLISHES BOOKS EVERY MONTH INCLUDING THE FANMADE ONES. THERE’S ALSO A FORUM FOR PEOPLE TO POST WIPS AND TALK ABOUT CHOICE SCRIPT AND GET HELP.
And there’s Ren'py, also for visual novels!
@raimeyl @mexicanesecat 👀
Holy shit
Ooooof I’m gonna use thessee
For any burgeoning digital storytellers/narrative game devs out there! :)
Why is tumblr recommending me posts in tags that I have filtered
How to trick a monkey.
the world is ending again
In the movie “Bohemian Rhapsody” (2018) the main actor plays a character that wears a moustache. This could be a very subtle nod to a singer called “Freddie Mercury”, who also had a moustache.
Strong winds and high tides battered a coastal road close to Newtownards, Northern Ireland, Sunday Jan 5, 2014. (Peter Morrison/Associated Press)
Based on true events
https://www.instagram.com/p/BvSEeQWJfeT/
Why did I laugh this hard.