An Anonymous Place to Vent

Just a space to vent your frustrations in an anonymous way.

[anonymous-venting-space]

Originally, this was just going to be my personal vent blog, but then I thought “why not let others vent as well?” I will still be posting my own vents, but, if you’d like to, you can send an anonymous ask just to vent, and I will put it up* so others can see it and relate to you.

(*If you would prefer not to have it posted, let me know and I won’t) (Also, I will not give any feedback unless explicitly requested.)

You can vent about (almost**) whatever you want; it can be about something personal or it can be about a broader topic. It can be about something major (E.g. family drama, systemic oppression, stupid government and/or laws, etc.) or it can be about something minor (E.g. a stubbed toe, your neighbor plays music you don’t like, you disagree with a very common headcanon, etc.)

**There are a couple rules however:

1) No bigotry. If your vent is about actions and/or choices that do not affect you in any way and are based in prejudice, I will not accept that.

1.5) Again, No Bigotry. This is in regards to reactions to a vent; if you do not agree with what a person is venting about, please keep scrolling.

2) Please don’t pretend to vent as a character. (E.g. Batman, Mickey Mouse, Goku, Etc.)

3) I feel this is obvious, but just to make sure. Do not put any important identifying information in your vents. I would recommend names be made up, but that’s more optional, do not put your address, phone number, or email in an ask, it will not be posted.

(I might add more rules later, but for now this is good)

[anonymous-venting-space]

hello. firstly i just wanna say thanks for running this blog. its nice to have a space like this somewhere, but i can only imagine how taxing it could be to run something like this, so im really grateful to you. thanks

after that im really sorry to get into it, but i need to somewhere or else i feel like ill rot away. mostly, it has something to do with how i just dont Get what it means to be a person.

the source of most of it is from the relationships i form. or, more accurately, the lack thereof. see, i have close friends. ive been friends with those people since Kindergarden. i often consider them the people closest to me, who know me the best; and they share that sentiment with me. but even then, i dont feel very Close to them. two of them have partners that understand them in a way a friend cant, and the other two have people closer to soulmates then friends. i have none of that. all i have are them and some acquaintances, and i guess the root of the matter is that i dont really have That person. not even romantically, but platonically. i dont feel like i have a singular person who understands me the best and that i feel the same way about. it feels like i cant connect with anyone on the same level as everyone seems to be able to, and its starting to feel like a moral failing more than anything else.

i think it has something to do with me not being a person. i mean, i am, in the sense that i breathe, walk, talk, and eat; but in a crowded room with no one i know, i most just shut up, sit in a corner, and wait. its hitting me now that the best way to describe it is that i act like an npc, whos only sole purpose is to drive forward the story for the protagonist, who just so happens to be everyone else around me, and thats really Really funny to me, because thats just it. my entire worth as Someone is how i act around people. i feel like fucking emmet from the lego movie or some shit and thats going to turn me into the fucking joker someday. i guess thatd be good. at least ill be Someone. anyways, im not really asking for tips on this ala reddit: how do i make more friends?, im just really upset and mad at myself right now for who i am, or for who im not. theres a lot more about me that pisses me off, and i think that i just really hate myself.

if you hate yourself, you kill whoever you think that is.

anyways thats all. im done now. thank you again admin. i hope youre doing well today, too

[anonymous-venting-space]

tw: suicidal ideation

god i need to be euthanized. i feel horrible. i did a horrible thing. i've done it several times. i hate it. i hate that i keep doing it. i need to be killed

[anonymous-venting-space]

I need to get this off my chest, because I can't tell anybody who knows me about this or they'll freak out. I've had a shitty fucking week. Maybe even a shitty couple of months. I don't even know where to start? I got sick a few months ago, just a small cold I thought. Well. I'm still sick. They have me on inhalers but they give me morning sickness and destroyed my libido, and honestly they haven't even worked either. It just kept getting worse, too. I feel like I have a pit stuck in my throat. I'm shaky, my back hurts from all the coughing, and I'm constantly nauseated. Well, turns out they believe I have throat cancer. I still need to get tested, but yeah. I'm young, too. Haven't even graduated college yet, haven't moved out. I can't talk about this with anyone because the only friend I have is my girlfriend, and everytime I have any sort of health issue or problem in my social life she has a panic attack and I have to comfort her. Ugh. To make matters worse, I haven't been sleeping. Going to try avoid getting TMI but I was sort of,, sexually harassed? I guess? I'm not sure if I can put this sort of thing on this blog, sorry if this is against a policy or anything. But I haven't spoken about this with anyone so... I woke up around 3-4 the other night and my father got drunk, picked my lock and stood over my bed fully naked. I didn't notice until I turned my flashlight on because I felt like I was being watched too, it was too dark. I've been having trouble sleeping since. He wasn't doing anything, he can't (he's on diabetes medication so yk..) but it's just. I was molested a lot as a child, and culprit would sometimes come into my room so while I slept so.., it just brought back some horrible memories for me. I've been putting tape over my door so I can see if he comes inside again or not. Sorry if this is too graphic um. I just needed to share because I don't really have anybody to talk to. Thanks for listening regardless.

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[anonymous-venting-space]

I’m not suicidal. I’m not going to kill myself. But I find myself more content and comfortable, as well as thinking about it more often than I believe others would. I’m not depressed, per se, but I can feel myself slipping closer and closer to that the longer I go without any friends, or maybe that wouldn’t help. I’ve never been one to be content with anything.

I think it’s going to get worse. And it concerns me just a bit that I can’t find myself caring

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[anonymous-venting-space]

I don't even know where to start. There's a lot of feelings pilling up inside me for so long, it is starting to overflow and manifest physically. I've been so good at hiding them until I've reached adulthood. Every time I felt sad or overwhelmed, my brain would just shut it down and make me forget! And I'd dissociate a lot, so much that I'd often freak out looking at the mirror bc I either wouldn't recognize myself, or get reminded I was alive and living inside this flesh cage. Those still happen sometimes, but it doesn't stop me from crying. Lately I can't seem to stop being so sensitive and emotional. Very annoyed too. Living with my family has always been agonizing but I've grown so tired of it. I think I'm reaching my limit. I'm 20 and I'm not allowed to work or study where I want. I live for people who never showed me care or love. I'm not asking anyone for anything, I just want to achieve my goals on my own and be alone. I have no close friends, the only one I have currently is someone I met online and plan on living with. He's the only one I tell my feelings for, but he started being mean and condescending, so I think he's getting tired of me. I've never been in a romantic relationship, only failed attempts of connection that ends with my heart broken or lowkey abused. I feel like I'm too intense with people I start trusting, to a point I get obsessed (always with people online lol is easier to idealize them I suppose, but it hurts even more). It must be because I'm so desperate to be heard, and when someone actually does that and is at least slightly nice with me, I fall for them. I often feel betrayed and abandoned by those people, but I understand why they'd leave me, I pour all my problems at them and only them, and end up becoming a burden too heavy to carry, too difficult to deal with. I'm trying to be less intense, but it's hard. I just want to be comforted. I'm writing all of this rn bc I'm not talking to that person currently, I asked to take some time. I was getting too crazy and insecure lol and he was really hurting me.

What do you think I should do? How can I escape my house, and how can I be less obsessive? I've been thinking about writing more, like a diary ig. But I really want to be acknowledged y'know

As usual, I'm writing this before bed, and am very tired, and I apologize for anything harmful that I may say.

I'm guessing you would like a response, I honestly can't tell if you questions at the end are rhetorical or not, if you did not want a response, I apologize and you may disregard everything I say.

To be completely honest, I have no idea what you should do. I escaped my shitty parents house when I was 18, but that was only because I had older sibling that could help me.

I would say try to reach out to any trusted friend or family that you know, but I'm not sure if you have any. If so, perhaps that.

As for the obsession thing, I feel like it's natural given a lonely upbringing, probably not healthy, but very natural.

I myself tend to feel like I latch on to my siblings a lot, and I'm still not quite sure what to do about it.

I don't know your situation, but maybe just talking to and being around other people will help. For me, there aren't many people who knows me very well, just my siblings really, but I still do some group activities, I wouldn't call most of the people I see my friends, but they're friendly acquaintances who I can still talk to about small things.

For example, I was venting a bit to one of my coworker about my workload the other day, it was nice to let some of my frustration out. At a place I volunteer at I was talking to one of the people there about trying to get a vacation at my job, and again, it was nice to let out some of my frustration.

I don't believe it's good to always keep your emotions bottled up, (I'm a massive hypocrite, I bottle my emotions a lot, do as I say, not as I do.) but it can be a lot to put on one person, so I think it would be good to have other people around you.

[anonymous-venting-space]

It kind of sucks to be the only reason multiple people haven't killed themselves when you are also going through your problems. It doesn't make me feel better to know I'm the only reason someone is alive. Let alone 3 different people. What if I mess up? What if you hurt me and I have to leave? I don't want to have to stop myself from expressing my feelings and thoughts because if I say something wrong, they could he gone. I don't want that responsibility. I'm not even stable myself.

[anonymous-venting-space]

Hey. So. AGP/"chaser"/not a real woman anon, back again. Not venting, oddly.

I really really dont know how, or why, but one day i just... stopped. Stopped feeling weird. One day I just locked away the weird dysphoric thoughts, called myself a woman, set all my profiles etc. It just. Happened.

All the stuff I sent before is just like. Fine. And I acknowledge i probably have trauma. It's confusing to me too. No therapist yet either, but probably future stuff.

Iunno. I just kinda felt like coming back to say like... certainly not everyone's case, but it can get better (even if you barely know what you did to fix it.)

Like. Permission to speak, if you really want it, just like... I just wanted to update i guess. Drink some damn water or something.

-girl

I don't really have anything to say, just that I'm glad you're doing well!

That's really all I got, I hope you, and anyone else reading this, have a great day!

[anonymous-venting-space]

Whenever you make comments about how you need to be (a word used in our kink community for a sub) for someone I feel worthless.

I know I’m not doing enough, I know I could’ve done better and I’m sorry I’m not. I’m trying to learn how to be okay with the thought of you being with others so you can get what you want and need.

It just hurts since it’s a sexual kink for most and we are monogamous. I’m trying to get used to the thought of you having a private one on one sexual relationship with someone else.

Mabye if I become what you need you won’t have too. I’m trying to find a job, then I’ll be able to provide you with what you crave.

I hope that one day you will see that all I’ve ever wanted was to be that person for you. Mabye if I died it would be easier. It would free up space for you to find someone, and you wouldn’t have to worry about crossing my boundaries.

You have been so good- becoming mono for me.

I’m sorry that I’m not what you need, not enough.

I love you, more than anything. I’m going to do everything in my power to be who you need me to be

[anonymous-venting-space]

Okay so i just feel like i need to leave it somehwere because i am just so fucking tired. This whole schoolyear just feels like a competition for who can have the best grades. For years my classmates knew me as the smartest person in school. You know, best grades, competions, always winning. But now i just...can't.i am struggling with learning. I was in a hospital for a month and could die and yet teachers don't care and i need to catch up with a whole month of schoolwork. This year is a constant reminder of exams i will have in two or three months, and results of those exams will basically dictate my future. If i don't get engouh points i will not be accepted into schools that offer biology profiles and it will preatty much my dream of going to med school. I am just so tired. I haven't cleaned my room in months. My parents and 'friends' don't care about how shitty state i am. I just want to function.

I'm open to any feedback from you or people in the comments.

Disclaimer, I was homeschooled, so I really don't understand a lot of school culture things or how school works, but I don't think there's really any test that can full stop end your dream future.

I'm sure doing well on those test will make it much much easier, but I think there's probably other ways to get in to med school.

I'm not sure, I'm very tired at the moment and I don't think I'm educated enough about this to give any meaningful feedback. I will let someone more knowledgeable than me answer that, if they are so inclined.

I am sorry to hear that you're not feeling well, and that no one around you seems to care.

Perhaps you're feeling some burnout, I've been going through a bit of it at work lately. usually I'm incredibly efficient at work, but this week I've been falling behind, and getting stressed out, I think it should go away eventually, I've been feeling pretty bad, but there's not a whole lot I can do because it's my job, it's not like I can take a break to relax.

I imagine it's the same for you in school, I would say just rest, but I don''t think it"s that simple. I'm really sorry I don't really have any advice, and I haven't been sleeping well, so am very tired.

I will say, as I always do, perhaps a licensed therapist could help. That's really all I've got, I'm sorry, I hope you are well, and have a nice day!

[anonymous-venting-space]

My Dad just let our cat lick a little bit of pasta sauce off of his plate which has onion and garlic which are toxic to cats. It was a small enough amount that it will probably only make her mildly ill, but I'm freaking the fuck out and really pissed off because we just lost a cat last year. I do not wanna lose another cat again so soon, especially because of some pasta sauce. I'm trying so hard to not be angry at my Dad because he didn't know the ingredients but I can't help it. I'm furious at him and wanna cry. I know I'm probably overreacting but the grief from losing our last cat is still strong.

[anonymous-venting-space]

sometimes i feel like im just. broken as a person. no matter what i do i cant connect with others or ever change, i just make the same mistakes constantly until people give up and leave me. i dont understand what im doing wrong that everyone else has figured out. it almost feels like suicide is the only way to not be miserable forever but i know i couldnt even do that

[anonymous-venting-space]

Life in general just sucks rn. My nana just got diagnosed with stage 3 cancer, I'm considered the weird kid at school because I don't talk and I usually smoke to cope but I can't even do that because I don't have any money. I'm scared to end back up in inpatient. WDID??

[anonymous-venting-space]

Hey. I need to vent. Im a teen author and my mom is my editor. Whenever we talk about the novel we always end up screaming or arguing. We edit the book together. In a google doc it’s 130 pages long. It takes an hour of us talking to get 3 pages done. For weeks, I’d come home from school and get an hour or two of rest before having to sit down with my mom and ultimately end up arguing and crying again.

I’m on my third novel in my series. I don’t want to do this process again. But I’ll have to confront her about it soon because I finished the book and now I’m editing it (which I’m not supposed to be doing, she’s supposed to be reading it now). So it’s been awhile since we had to sit down and go over all her edits, but it’ll start again soon.

When she has a comment on something she highlights it and sometimes makes a note. Like about 5 per a page or more. Scrolling through the book, seeing all of those edits is so overwhelming and feels so hopeless.

she always says the editor should have more control than the author. But I’d honestly rather write and publish something I regret slightly than argue with her about everything, if that makes sense.

And I did already talk to a guidance counselor, but her advice didn’t go further than I should talk with my mom and tell her how I feel. Everything I’m telling you right now is only scratching the surface really. I could go way more in depth. But it’s like 2 am rn and this gives a general idea.

[anonymous-venting-space]

I feel gross for interacting with trans woman on the internet. I feel like a "chaser" or just some stupid fetishist. I know AGP is fake. But i could be. Stranger things have happened.

I think i just want a convenient escape. From being expected to be a man. I'm just lazy. Maybe i thjnk it would give me a real personality. I seem to think it takes no effort, i guess. Thinking it would solve all my problems.

I only started feeling "dysphoric" when i learned about trans women online. Nothing before.

Just like how I'm pretending I have some kind of trauma. "Oh no, my parental figure i looked up to made some jokes about me, oh no she hit me jokingly once or twice, oh no!"

When i read about cptsd trauma etc etc etc online.

Maybe i just want to be the "daughter she's always wanted" so I get more attention.

Don't know if you have anything to say, but permission granted

Sorry

As per usual, I am answering this before bed, so I very much apologize if anything I say is unhelpful or hurtful.

Sorry, I'm kinda tired and my life is a bit busy right now, but I want to say something, it might just be a bit incomprehensible.

I'll be real with you, I had to look up what AGP is, and yeah, it's probably fake and i doubt that you have it, but like even if you did, you can still interact with trans woman? You're not like asking for their nudes or something right? (I suppose even if you are, they can decide whether or not they want to give that to you. so like just don't harass them.)

You discovered something that you relate to, and now you see things in your life that you're unhappy with, that's entirely normal, I think. If you didn't even know that trans women existed before, I'd imagine you wouldn't have ever thought that you could be anything but a man.

I think you should just explore it, if that's something you want. if you decide you want to live your life as a woman, great! If you decide you don't and you want to live your life as a man, great! If you find that you’re Non-binary, Also great!

You can do whatever you want, try on dresses and see how that makes you feel, or make-up. Do those things make you feel happy? Then do it (If you can safely do so) does that mean that makes you a woman, it can, but it doesn't have to. Those things don't make you feel happy? don't do it, does that mean you're not a woman? it can, but it doesn't have to.

Also, like, anyone can interact with anyone on the internet, you can interact with trans people and that doesn't really mean anything about you.

Cis people can relate to trans people and trans people can relate to cis people, if you want to interact with trans women because you relate to them, then I think you should. If you decide you're not a trans woman, that fine, as a cis man you can still relate and enjoy conversation with trans women.

Also, I think you should see a therapist, if you can. I recommend that to everyone, because I think everyone can benefit from speaking to a licensed professional, and I, maybe, especially think people who are submitting anonymous vents to a Tumblr blog will benefit from it.

(Obviously I understand not everyone can afford to see a therapist, and even if they can, they still need to find one that is a good fit, and that can take some time.)

[anonymous-venting-space]

I feel really lonely and like no one likes interacting with me or what I do. I feel like I get a good group of people to interact with and then mess it up without even knowing how and that there's no point to this and I should just pull away

[anonymous-venting-space]

Huge TW for grooming

When you're a system and you're fighting to survive on the Internet of all places you latch onto people you trust a lot, yea?

Well the person we trusted, that we had known for 4, almost 5 years now, had been trying to get with the host, or who their host thought was the host. Their.. almost 21 year old host... Trying to get with our previous 18 year old host. And not caring that the old host saw him as an older brother. Because that's what made it better.

And the warning signs were all there. We just didn't see it. We've blocked them on everything but one platform, we stopped talking to them on that platform too, we are scared to completely cut them out because of what they are capable of doing. The body's parents are fully aware, we can't do shit. We feel so fucking stupid. We trusted them.

And worst of all, we haven't even talked to them about it. We're scared. We don't know what to do anymore. It feels like a consistently bad idea.

The parents just say "sorry" and shrug, our friends don't need to know this shit. They don't even know we're a system! We have never felt so fucking alone before until now.

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