i made a friend?!!!!
update no i didnt he prolly just wanted to fuck me
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Mike Driver
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
$LAYYYTER
EXPECTATIONS

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@anonymousduchess
i made a friend?!!!!
update no i didnt he prolly just wanted to fuck me
i hope you outlive elon musk
Donât worry, Iâll likely be mere feet away from him when this becomes true.
rice is the perfect food and westerners should eat more of it i'm so serious
halos are fun but tbh realistically i think that saints would just have heads burning up with holy fire from the inside out. they'd be uncomfortable to look at, not only because they burn so bright and billow with smoke and flame, but because of the abjectly contradictory, miraculously terrible nature of it. headless but whole. dead yet alive.
biblically accurate saints or whatever
I had enough
cw: gn!reader, SFW, mention of reader being drunk but can be synonymous with being drunk of sleep deprivation since no explicit alcohol mention, pure love âĄ
chauffeur!yuuta who tries as much as possible to have a professional front: heâs all courteous etiquette and chivalrous assistance, as expected of a luxury service. but those sweet iridescent bambi eyes and his way of unreserved darling anxious altruism enchants you.
chauffeur!yuuta who wears the most adorable and eye ogling white uniform (resemblant more to a pilotâs attire than a chauffeur, but heâs the most beautiful thing nonetheless). after the first few weeks working for you, he asks whether he should ditch the little black chauffeur hat or not (he worries itâs a bit overkill but the choice is yours anyway <3).
chauffeur!yuuta who always steadies out the car to open the door for you, one hand holding the car handle and the other open palm extended towards your entrance, gesturing you inside. he never knows whether to stand tall and straight or slightly bent over to meet you at your height. he tries anyway, for you.
chauffeur!yuuta who walks you to your destination (whether that be your front entrance or any other place, especially at night) although heâs sort of really only supposed to open the door for you, help you out, and wave you off; but the loyal dog inside him just wonât let him.
chauffeur!yuuta who when stopped at a red light, looks at the car mirror, looks at you, with a delighted grin and affectionate eyes, whether youâre perched up with full posture and already looking at him, or lolled drowsily and sleeping.
chauffeur!yuuta who constantly checks up on you via the car mirror to confirm youâre happy and content. if not, he asks âcan I do something for you?â, making eye contact through the mirror with a sweet smile and docile eyes. if youâre thirsty, heâll get you your choice of drink from the beverage fridge hidden in the centre console. if youâre hungry, heâll ask you âwhat is it that I can you?â then make a stop at your place of choice. if youâre sad, heâll ask if youâd like him to park the car and yuuta will take you on a stroll with open ears and his undivided attention (in the early days during these walks, he would hold his little hat in front of him with both hands like a true gentleman).
chauffeur!yuuta who realises soon enough, sleeplessly staring at the ceiling from his bed after a day of no reservations to pick you up, that itâs not enough. that by not asserting himself beyond a chauffeur to you as a means to not offend you, his patron, he actually does an injustice to you: the most addictive angel he ever met. well, as if his sweet face and endearing jumpy fussiness about you could ever offend you.
chauffeur!yuuta who involuntary incites your rambles with his receptive eyes and open-book facial expressions. but youâre just the same, giving old yuuta the heart eyes and being on the edge of your seat when the man starts opening up. and soon enough, it seems that youâve both unraveled each other, become too fond of each other, exchanging soft giggles and the crinkles of eyes. when itâs you two, the ostentatiously costly and luxurious the little old car sure becomes chatty and filled with inoffensively banter, the dopey and syrupy chemistry leaving you both with misty eyes.
chauffeur!yuuta who remembers vividly the last time he picked you up from a night out. cue to drunk you from the backseat, saying youâll marry him! âwhen weâre married yuutaâŚâ and an entire rant, flirting with him, throughout the whole journey taking you home. he just stayed quiet with a blushed face and lips drawn in, eyes not meeting yours in the mirror (yet occasionally diverging that way). but heâll smile after a while and make that long sacred mirror eye-contact with you again; âwhen weâre married y/nâŚâ please donât distract the driver!!!
chauffeur!yuuta who absolutely refuses (in the most possible calm, cooed, gentle, quiet screaming âiâm sorry but you canât!â) to let you sit at the front with him. and quite rightfully so: youâre his patron! the cars ahead will distract you from a having a good lounge! please just luxuriate in your backseat ride! youâll just stare at him with heart eyes if you sit at the front⌠heâll be so flustered he might crash the whole damn car. heâll be fired and wonât be able to drive you anymore!!!
chauffeur!yuuta who involuntary makes you contemplate for 5 minutes straight before his arrival time (which is actually 10 minutes before the set arrival time since heâs always at least 5 minutes early) on whether youâll sit directly behind him or in the next seat over. the latter gives you a good view of his divinely entrancing side profile, yetâŚ
chauffeur!yuuta who obliges with a happy sigh as he slides his hand behind his seat as the driver for you to grasp to. now left to your own devices, youâre just counting his knuckles with the taps of your finger (as if you havenât counted them countless times already) whilst your other hand keeps hold. then you go in with your final blow: a firm but delicate hold with the tappy hand whilst you retire the other; a dazed smile and misty eye contact reciprocated in the mirror, as you give him occasional squeezes on the supple palm. thankfully, heâs cruising a straight unbusy road so your antics wonât require his brain to work double-time.
chauffeur-and-boyfriend!yuuta who kisses the sweet spot at the back of your fingers of your held out hand as helps he you out of car with his own. you and your loverâs hands continue intertwined as he walks you to your front door <333
Hear me out. Boothill is absolutely obsessed with physical touch and WILL always have an arm around your waist. He will shamelessly kiss you in front of others if anyone dares to flirt with you in his presence (he promised not to shoot anyone anymore). He WILL slap your ass if you walk past him and smirk with his arms crossed when you look back at him. Why? He knows you can't really slap his ass back (this one might hurt), but you're very welcome to try, he won't stop you. Will pull your chin up with his fingers and kiss you whenever he wants. Boothill will bite you on purpose with his sharp teeth to mark you, only to kiss the purple spots better, so you can melt under his touch. Boothill thinks the sidewalk rule is very important - that's why he pushes other people on the road, so you can have more space to walk, while holding your hand. He pulls you towards him so you hit his firm, metal chest with yours while he laughs, cupping your face roughly and gently kissing your cheek. He wants you to pull on his hair when you kiss, so you can get goosebumps when he groans into your mouth and feel his cold fingers caress your soft skin further down.
PSST! boothill relationship headcanons and more thirst here!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE TO THE BOOTHILL COMMUNITY I'm eating very well this week salute for your contribution đŤĄđŤĄđŤĄ I also like the idea of sappy boothill he's the type to say "my girlfriend hates me I hope I die" and the Jessica and Roger rabbit dynamic is so!!!
heâs your ride or die. itâs most definitely a case of somebody asking âwhat do you see in him?â to which you reply âhe makes me laugh.â
heâs so whipped to the point heâll be in a serious debacle with somebody, guns drawn, throwing threats, but as soon as he hears the custom ringtone heâs set up that indicates that itâs you calling, he holds up a finger to his opponent and answers the call.
example: âoh, keep talking.â his gun is aimed directly in the centre of his opponentâs forehead. âone more word and iâll blow a nice hole through yoââ
his pocket vibrates and chimes a ridiculous tune.
gun disappears back in its holster, the red targets in his irides fade and he turns his body away to answer the phone. âhey sweetie!â
his opponent is stunned. âwhââ
boothill holds up a finger. âof course i can buy dinner on the way home! what do you want to eat?â his opponent just barely hears a voice speaking on the other side of the phone. âmhm⌠i can get that⌠no problem⌠hey, youâre not working on friday, right? iâll take ya out for dinner. thereâs a nice little restaurant on the xianzhou luofu i think youâd like⌠sound good? iâll see you tonight⌠love ya lots.â
probably makes kissy noises before he hangs up.
âseriously? are youââ
whoops. trigger fingerâs a bit too itchy today.
adding onto what you said, heâs so sad when youâre upset with him. to me, he seems very disorganised and more of a risk taker. heâs got a body of steel; lots of risks wonât even leave a dent on him. heâs constantly running late to things, constantly leaving tasks unfinished to start something he finds more interesting. heâs in for the thrill of the ride.
one time, he forgot a date he himself had set up.
not only did he come home to find you clearly upset over it, but he was absolutely fuming at himself. apologised one million times to you, two million kisses, probably got on his knees, and he canât ever forgive himself.
even if youâve already forgiven him, youâre laughing and trying to get him to stand up because âyouâre a grown man acting like this.â he latches onto you like a koala bear.
itâs not even that deep either. itâs just a lunch. itâs not like it was a special occasion. speaking of which, heâd never forget a birthday, valentineâs day, whatever traditional holidays you celebrate. never ever.
heâs actually such a sappy gooey loser itâs so sweet. his favourite thing to do is bury his face in your neck or your chest or your lap. heâs all over you like sticky sweet honey, and you canât get rid of him that easily.
do u think boothill would be obsessed w readers waist . literally holding it pinching it using it to move them around etc he makes me a little crazy
yup.
always has an arm around your waist. and he always has to call you my man/my lady, otherwise itâs âhoneyâ and iâm not elaborating. he thinks heâs so smooth (dont tell him you can hear the fans whirring below his body). youâre, what, 2 years into this relationship and heâs still blushing at the ears and stuttering when you smile at him.
he can be smooth, sometimes. itâs all in the southern drawl, and also just him being quite touchy in general. has also like, 100% said, âwell, hello, nurseâ once or twice with a whistle when you walked in the room.
heâs not the biggest hand holderâhe doesnât like his hands at allâso heâd rather just squash you in tight next to him as much as he can.
heâs basically your guard dog. heâs always attached to you somehow, will bark and bite at anything that he doesnât like coming close to you, and he feels like the king of the world knowing that he, some stupid hunk of scrap metal and junk, bagged you. nobody knows how he did it. he doesnât even know. sometimes he thinks heâs dreaming.
heâs feel like an absolute gentleman as well, so thereâs that too. heâs going to tickle you at any given opportunity, as well as give you a little squeeze. heâs got that sort of cuteness aggression inside him i think. if your back is turned, heâll pinch your sides and nip at your neck like a puppy. heâs like that.
speaking of your back, somebodyâs gotta call the mechanic if youâre wearing a top with a low or exposed back, or if you just take the damn shirt off entirely. heâs like a victorian man seeing ankles for the first time if he sees even an inch of your spine. why are you seducing him like this. please stop staring at him with heart eyes when heâs stumbling over his words.
he canât join you on beach days unfortunatelyâsand and water not great for the robo-bodyâbut he will be reluctant to let you leave, considering youâve got basically nothing on and he wants you all to himself.
he also loves your legs. please swing them on his lap and use his as a foot stool. he wonât even complain. donât get him wrong, he loves you in formal wear; suit, dress, whatever you want, but by the gods when you wear shorts or a skirt his brain melts.
appreciates nice shoes as well. fancy formal wear sort of stuff. heâs a total sucker for it.
if you wear heels, he loves those too (makes you look taller so rawr) (he will do that cat purr rolling tongue noise i have no clue what itâs called) (also he knows any sort of fancy shoes hurt your feet so YAY he gets to carry you home!!!!!! he wins!!!!!!!!!) (heâll hold your shoes in one hand and carry you like youâre made of glass. doesnât matter if youâre embarrassed. to be fair, he thinks you deserve to be carried everywhere. youâre way too ethereal to be touching the floor in any sort of way).
i just like the idea that heâs the biggest most loserish simp in the world. loves his partner more than anything in the world. whipped to all hell. will put a bullet in his head if it would make you smile.
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (1995) dir. Beeban Kidron
HEâS THE TYPE TO `°â˘Â°â˘Â°
Gender neutral
Kavehâs the type to look at you with so much love and adoration in his eyes. Your beauty has no equal. Itâs so individual and separate and embodies your soul so completely. He canât help but fall in love with you over again.
Kaveh is the type to wake up before you to capture sunlight kissing your body. He pays attention to all the details. That is even to the way the covers are draped over your body. He makes sure to engrave the sight before him into his memory.
Kaveh is the type to sit by your legs, wrap his arms around your waist and look up at you. Nothing but love in his gaze. He continues to say how much he loves you. He always manages to find another way to compliment you. Every other day is a chance to give the rightful praise to another part of you. Whether it be visible or invisible. Whether it be your personality, behavior, the way your eyes light up when you laugh, or how your voice picks up the pace when you are engrossed in something. He canât help but adore it all.
Kaveh is the type to try to engrave statues of you. From finest marbles. He wants the memory for you to last for centuries after, for all generations to see your beauty. But even his skilled hand can never capture the essence of your being.
You are his diety. His soulmate. He gave his heart and soul to you. Even if you break his trust. Even if you leave him. If you leave this universe. If you turn out to be just a fragment of his imagination. You will continue to exist in his heart.
arataki itto boyfriend headcanons !!
â my boyfriend from genshin impact (1.7k wc)
cw: suggestive chatter, long as fuck because idk how to stop, lots of baby pet name, afab reader
arataki itto is a very loud lover. always telling you how much he loves you in rooms full of people, always kissing your cheeks, talks to strangers about you and his gang is so close with you. you could never be confused or in the dark with itto because his love for you literally shines out of him.
but before you were together, i fully believe it was one sided at first. he fell for you immediately and whenever he saw you running errands in inazuma he tried hard to get your attention. âhey!! hey!!â and heâd be trying to match your speed, âwhaddayah up to? i can help you out if you want, iâve got all these muscles just for you, sunshine. yâknow if you were my girl youâd never have to do anything yourself!â it would be mostly you laughing at his over confidence and falling for it time after time. also helped that heâs insanely attractive.
your favourite encounter with him was when the tenyrou commission was chasing after him and he saw you walking by so he stops mid chase to compliment you, âhey baby, you look beautiful today! that shade looks great with your complexion and wait⌠are those your new shoes you were talking about?â and when you ask why heâs so out of breath, his hands on his knees panting, he says âjust on a run, stayinâ healthy!â then when you see the soldiers coming up around the bend he shouts, âgotta go, pretty! catch you later !!!â
Pirate Kaeya and Merman Aether
AU where Kaeya is a pirate and Aether is a merman whose been obsessed with the eye-patch wearer ever since he caught a glimpse of him in a harbor. He watches as the man talks and laugh with other people, secretly wishing he had legs so he could accompany the pirate on his journeys. Aether starts following the ship he saw Kaeya board, always peeking out of the water and staying just a little too close. Heâs almost been caught by the crew multiple times when they look over the water but he doesnât care, nor does he wonder why theyâre always looking over the shipâs railing. All he wants is to stay close to the man thatâs stolen his heart and ensure that heâs safe.
~~~~~~
Kaeya spotted the little merman right before he boarded his ship, the sun reflecting off the golden hair floating in the water. Amber eyes, which peered over the waterâs surface, completely bewitched the pirate, and he found himself always looking for the merman outside his window. He also told his men to alert him if they ever saw the boy in the water, wanting desperately to catch him so they could talk.
Cheer up, traveler!
After returning from the âtreasure huntâ, Aether feel down for no apparent reason. Kaeya takes it upon himself to cheer him up
NOTE: Hello hello! I had this thought about Genshin Impact today in class and I just decided to make it todayâs fic lol. Iâm still new (but already addicted) to the game, so Iâll add more characters with a bit of time. Support and feedback are always appreciated. Un grande abbraccio a tutti! (A big hug to everyone!)  đđ¤â¤ď¸ (btw I think I need a Kaeya in my life)
DISCLAIMER: This is a tickle fic, if itâs not to your taste I donât suggest you read it
This ship is platonic
After returning from the âtreasure huntâ he was asked to complete by Kaeya, Aether didnât feel quite alright but couldnât figure out why at the same time.
Actually he could, but he didnât want to admit it. He was a little hurt when the knight insinuated that he wanted the sword for himself. He felt a bit judged, when in reality all he wanted to do was finish the job as fast as he could to return the object as soon as possible.
He didnât even care that the whole mission revolved around a nonexistent relic, he wasnât even mad at the blue-haired guy for that âtrickâ, but on the other hand he was a bit disappointed with what his friend thought of him.
He didnât really want to see anyone, so he climbed up the windmill and sat on the tiny balcony, reflecting on his mood in order to act properly about it.
IN THE MEANWHILEâŚ
Keep reading
Frost Beneath the Boat
Kaeya and Aether hide from enemies beneath an upturned boat. Even though Kaeya's frost powers keep them hidden, Aether will die unless he can share in the other man's heat.
G Rated, slightly Kaeya/Aether (rarepair ahoy)
Something I wrote a while back and never posted because it's a bit short - I went back and rewrote it to make it nice. I vaguely ship these two for a million little reasons, in very specific ways, that I will rant about if anyone even slightly asks.
For @chaos-company's Angstpril 2022 - 'Hide'
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Kaeya watched as Aetherâs lips turned blue. Their breath hung in the air - still, white clouds hanging between them as the air froze and the ice climbed like spiderwebs. The boyâs hands were shaking as they pressed against the ice, occasionally pawing up like a cat to avoid sticking to it and ripping his palms.
They were crouched beneath the shell of an overturned fishing boat. The heavy footsteps of Ruin Guards thundered past their little wooden hiding place, sometimes stepping so close that they almost crunched down on the hull, sometimes wandering a few feet away as they followed some unknown pathing code. But worse than that, worse than all of those quaking footsteps combined, was the silence of the Ruin Hunter. They knew it was out there, but it hung as an unknown above their heads - a Sword of Damocles aimed at the backs of their necks. Kaeya held his fingers to his lips as he watched Aetherâs expression curl in pain. Beneath them, through the grey haze of the ice, sank the open maw of the ocean.
Aetherâs Mondstat bf