Just another mun. @anotherpartofexistence - Tumblr Blog

demmural

#yume nikki

lesbianrustcohle

if i were a zookeeper my intrusive thoughts would be wild

lesbianrustcohle

brain: slap that penguin. right across his little blubbery tummy. it’ll jiggle.

me: no??? that’s mean???

brain: polar bear, then

me: no

lesbianrustcohle

brain: the lions just got fed raw meat

me: yes?

brain: steal it and eat it in front of them

me: …

lesbianrustcohle

rowan i want you to know that this is the best possible reply i could have received

pro-survivors

I work with animals and this is true for me. No, I cannot eat sea stars out the touch tank no matter HOW good you think the cronch will be, brain.

budgiekazoo

sometimes you wonder what was going through the head of the first human to eat something really weird and then you see this post and stop wondering

thenerdbeast-deactivated2018070

@harinezumiko

harinezumiko

This 100% was me at the zoo. Don’t touch Melon, he’s mean. Okay, but I have to touch Bob to make him get his stupid emu head out of my shirt, so what if I also touch Melon until he likes it? Sephiroth is angery because he has one wing and sometimes attacks people? I want to pet him also. Also he won’t get off the rock I have to clean anyway, surely a little pets on the good side will be fine. Martha and Stewart are assholes that tag-team while the pond is filling? I bet I could CUDDLE THEM. The female deer will excitedly nuzzle you in the stomach for feeding them. This is fine, because they don’t have antlers. The male deer is locked up while we’re putting out food because he will gouge you to death with his little nubby asymmetrical horns, because he thinks the females are doing it. The entire monkey enclosure will eat your fingers for a single fruit loop. They also have the smallest arms and can reach through holes they’ve made in the tarp on the gate to their enclosure. Do not hold hands with the monkeys. (2nd gen old man monkey will also pee on the keepers that don’t give him fruit loops. He is a jerk.) The rehabilitated bear that still sits like she’s on a couch because she did that when she was living in a crack house? Yes, she looks chill. Yes, she looks The Softest. No, do not pet her back through the fence. No, do not go into the corridor and try to offer treats for pets. Big Mac does not know he will break your ribs, but YOU know he will break your ribs. Do not enter Big Mac’s enclosure no matter how much he chuffs and displays his belly and rubs on the cage and looks sad. Yes, he genuinely wants pets. Yes, Pinkie is deliberately getting pets where he can see it as a sign of dominance even though she’s a housecat and he could eat her in approximately one bite. The turtle is mean. Period. He is an old man and he does not like you. He does not like the parrot getting fries and he does not like that he is in a kiddie pool to warm up because his enclosure lost power, and he does not like you behind him preparing food for the owls and raptors. Petting him will not help this. He will rock back and forth and mean mug you forever because he is a grumpy old man. All of the rabbits need more handling on principle. They don’t know you and they are very distressed that you’re taking their poop away. They can learn, a little, kind of. The guinea pig is insane and will not learn. Do not pet the guinea pig.

lesbianrustcohle

this post is gathering some highly blessed zoo stories i love it! thank you

blueelectricangels

as biologist, can confirm

brain: that frog is very small me: well spotted, brain brain: put smol frog in mouth me: no!

brain: that lynx…looks so fluffy… me: it does brain: we should pet it. me: it’s awake and angry so no.

brain: baaaaby bunny. me: yup. brain: baby bunny goes in pocket me: nooo it doesn’t.

thesanityclause

reblogging for my zookeeper friends

peduncling-away-deactivated2019

brain: lettuce looks real cronchy

me: yes, that’s how the dugong likes it

brain: time to munch

me: nope

#animals #humans

theemotionmachine

Virtue requires a delicate balance.

tobi-kelma

This could be a great set of descriptors for tracking social stats in a game.

appel-likes

Woah

shaelit

A good chart for character development, especially when contrasting how they are vs. how they see themselves.

#writing aid

hashtagforthekids

mrdraklin-deactivated20181214

The four Diamonds of Steven Universe.

Re-edited for missing pieces and inconsistencies, now brought together for your viewing pleasure.

bepeu-deactivated20171202

things to take * a nap * it easy * care

tinsnip

* on me

brinnanza

* me on

supah-short

*me home country roads

theatreho-deactivated20240428

*a chance on me

sixpenceee

Meet the Halloween mouse with a pumpkin. Link.

zendayacs-deactivated20190731

"Not all men"

You’re right Peter Parker wouldn’t do this

mjwatson

on an unrelated note i don’t think that guy spider-man would, either.

marvel-lous-things

mimiriiu

alongfalltothetop-deactivated20

Oh I’m an asshole.

So today pulling into Stop and Shop, this lady cut me off and nearly drove into me, and then, when I tried to pass her, she swung to the right and nearly hit me again, and then flipped me off.

So somebody is having a bad day and taking it out on me. That’s fine. It’s harmless, and I don’t know what’s going on in this woman’s life. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt she’s not just a piece of shit and is just having a bad day.

But then I park and she follows me, and gets out of the car and starts swearing at me and getting in my face.

Now I go from “indifferent” to “I’m gonna fuck with this woman’s head.” Now I would say I’m a gentleman of size, and in all black and bemohawked I probably look spookier than I actually am, so props to this lady for getting in my face. Now of course I’m not going to hit her, or even threaten violence. That’s shitty. Nobody should get threatened with violence.

Instead, I take a step back, narrowing my eyes like I’m studying her face really closely, and then I touch one of the several piece of “occulty” jewelry I’m wearing (none of which, by the way, are magicked in any way at all). Then I mumble some nonsense under my breath, and then make the fig gesture and the horns at her.

She stops, wide-eyed.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO ME?”

I chuckled, and shake my head. “Nothing at all.” I say in a not-terrible convincing voice. “But every time something bad happens to you today, you’re gonna be thinking of me.”

Then I winked at her, and walked away.