Artisan Tomfoolery

I write a lot of nonsense, and sometimes I draw things, too. Come yell at me about anything you feel like. 'Antilocapra' on AO3. (She/her)

[antilocaprine]

I figured I should probably do one of these (for ridiculously self-indulgent organizational purposes), so here’s a masterpost of selected fics on AO3. I've had to trim this down as I've added more works in more fandoms, so this is in no way an exhaustive list. Read ‘em, comment on ‘em, and I’ll love you forever.

(Of course, it should go without saying to mind the tags and read with caution. I write a fair amount of gore and body horror along with all the comedy and fluff.)

Complete:

HLVRAI

Sweet Dreams Are Made of Bees - The one that started it all, and still probably my favorite of all my HLVRAI fics. Post-canon Gordon is dreaming - but if he dies in the dream, he dies in real life.

To Guide And To Guard - A Sentinel/Guide AU where Gordon is a sentinel, Benrey is a guide, and the rest of the Science Team is along for the ride.

Speechless - HLVRAI Gordon gets bitten by a weird-colored headcrab and loses the ability to speak, but still has a lot to say. Shenanigans ensue.

Evergreen - The de-aging fic for people who don’t like de-aging fics (according to the comment section, at least).

Changing the Game - Gordon gets shot. Benrey goes ballistic.

Our Flag Means Death

By Any Other Name - Written after episode 8 but before episode 9: the British navy decides to take the “beard” out of “Blackbeard.” (Still inordinately pleased that I wrote this before the actual canon beard-shaving happened.)

Mickey 17

Ship of Theseus - Post-canon fix-it. Explicit.

Iron Lung

Ghostlight, Starbright - Post-canon. The Convict meets Laika as a psychopomp.

Ongoing:

HLVRAI

Some Stars Are Not Enough - An Among Us crossover that is being played completely straight and also not taking itself seriously at the same time. At one point a wall falls down for four chapters.

Half-Light - Vampire AU, of a sort. Gordon gets attacked by a mysterious creature, and immediately starts changing in strange ways.

Coevolutionary Adaptations - Venom crossover series. Currently being uploaded as standalone fics because it’ll go NSFW at some point and I want to make it easier for people to opt out of that if they want.

Iron Lung

A Light on the Water - Daemon AU of the events of the movie.

Universe Unspooled - Crossover with Project Hail Mary by way of In Space With Markiplier - specifically, the wormhole. (No other ISWM content is going to be added; I just needed a way to connect the two universes and I thought it would be funny.)

Predator: Badlands

Hinterlands - An ongoing series of the post-canon interactions between an alien (Dek) and a robot (Thia). Explicit, but like, platonically.

Our Flag Means Death

There Is Water At The Bottom Of The Ocean - Lighthouse Keeper!Stede and “actually a kraken” Ed AU.

[antilocaprine]

hello this is so random but i fell so in love with your writing when you posted ship of theseus for mickey 17 way back when (my all time favourite fic for that movie!) and when i was scrolling the iron lung tag recently and i saw your user… i was like HEY 🫵 I KNOW THAT PERSON!!! so glad you’re writing for another fandom i’m in!!! your laika fic fully made me cry lol :’))

(Ship of Theseus) (Ghostlight, Starbright)

There have been a lot of "doomed guy in space" movies lately, and I gotta say, I'm not mad about it. I had a lot of fun with Ship of Theseus, starting with the title and going right through my usual problem of "oh, this'll be a one-shot....okay, it'll be two chapters.....HOKAY, three chapters now!" that always happens to me, especially when I gotta add characters to explain the science of how the plot happened, and then I get a little too excited about the science and forget it's supposed to be a story. Plus dialogue is just...so much fun.

And then the Iron Lung fics...I'm really enjoying that fandom and playing in the collective sandbox. It's a bit odd to say "I'm glad I made you cry" but I am! That's the point of writing it like that - I wanted to invoke an emotional response with the hopelessness and the fact that everything's over and done with, and now only bare choices remain, and maybe those don't matter either, but if you choose one way, at least you don't have to be alone.

I'm glad you found my works again in a new place. Thank you so much for the kind message!

[antilocaprine]

Meanwhile, in another WIP.....

“Are you Gordon Freeman?”

Gordon jolted and looked up, glasses slipping down his nose as he stared at the girl in shock. She raised her eyebrows, which wrinkled her forehead and shifted the black headband that kept her dark hair pushed back. She was wearing well-worn fingerless gloves, some kind of modified bomber jacket with a plethora of zippers and the sleeves rolled up over a thin gray hoodie that was cut short to expose entirely too much midriff, and light-wash jeans that looked painted on over heavy boots. She looked, in a nutshell, effortlessly cool, and utterly out of place in the workroom with its overflowing shelves of wires and circuit boards. Gordon looked over her shoulder at the closed door to the store, then took a breath to tell her to get out when his hand was suddenly on fire.

“Ow – fuck! What?” He jerked the soldering pen away and glared at the tiny red mark on his finger, then transferred that glare to the girl, whose eyebrows were somehow even higher. She looked very unimpressed. “Look, you can't be back here -”

“The manager let me in,” the girl said, flapping a hand over her shoulder. “Are you Gordon Freeman? I don't see anyone else back here.”

“What are you, a cop? Get out of here,” Gordon snapped. His shoulders ached from hunching over the worktable, but he'd been so close to finishing the rebuild that he hadn't wanted to stop and stretch. Now he was worried if he tried to stand up and usher the girl from the room it would end with him collapsing on the floor with numb legs, and he really didn't want to deal with that.

“You don't have a nametag,” the girl said. “That would make this easier.”

“I don't work in the main store,” Gordon told her. “Who are you – and, hey, why do you want to know? And why did Adrian let you back here?”

“I'm Alyx,” the girl said. She stepped forward and pulled a card case out of one of the zippered pockets on her jacket, holding it out. “And he let me back here because the characters in my game are asking for Gordon Freeman, by name. So is that you, or not?”

[antilocaprine]

I finished this, by the way.

[antilocaprine]

Universe Unspooled (3686 words) by Antilocapra Chapters: 1/3 Fandom: Iron Lung (2026), Project Hail Mary (2026) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung) & Ryland Grace, Ryland Grace & Rocky Characters: Ryland Grace, Rocky (Project Hail Mary), The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung) Additional Tags: In Space With Markiplier - Freeform, Dimension Travel, Blood and Injury, Swearing, Fix-It, Invincible II (In Space with Markiplier), mentioned - Freeform, timey-wimey weirdness

Summary: Simon swivels to face the rear of the sub and nearly chokes. The camera control panel is gone. The wall that replaces it is twice the distance away that it should be and cluttered with netting bags and some kind of glass-paneled construction. The wall is brightly lit, and lines that seem to run the length of it are at a diagonal intersection with the floor panels under Simon's feet. Has he crashed into the SM-8 somehow? Or did the dropship pick him up when he was submerged in blood in the crawlspace? That would make things a hell of a lot easier, and explain why the engine isn't running anymore. But no – the depth gauge was still firmly in the red when he just looked at it. Simon risks a glance over his shoulder to confirm, and notes that the oxygen meter has all four lights lit up. That must mean he’s on the COI dropship…right? “Hello? Is anyone – oh!” A voice speaks, and Simon moves.

Iron Lung crossover with Project Hail Mary via In Space With Markiplier (specifically, the wormhole).

[antilocaprine]

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness (5376 words) by Antilocapra Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Half-Life VR But the AI is Self-Aware (Web Series) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman Characters: Benrey (Half-Life VR But the AI is Self-Aware), Gordon Freeman, Tommy Coolatta Additional Tags: Post-Canon, ambiguous setting, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Swearing, Non-Linear Narrative, members of the science team are mentioned but not physically present, Pre-Relationship Summary: Benrey had just shaken his head and looked out across the scrubby basin at the flat horizon. “I’m too far away,” he’d said. “An’ not just away, but - over -” he waved one hand and shrugged. “Xen’s not a place, really, s’like a sink drain. Everything ends up here, but nothing comes from here. And nothing gets out. Dunno how Black Mesa did it. Must've broken the law a few times.” “I don’t think there’s a law against making portals to other dimensions,” Gordon said. “Law of physics, bro,” Benrey had snorted. “Aren’t you some kind of physician? Scientist? Lil baby physicist doesn’t know how transdimensional travel works?” Gordon had chuckled a bit. “Do you?” he’d asked. Benrey’s face fell. “Nope. S’why I’m still here. I don’t think I can do anything more than this - and this is only ‘cause Black Mesa already punched holes out. I’m just lookin’ through the patched-up spots.”

__________

Hey hi hello this fic was started in 2021 and has not been touched since 2022. Then today I opened it up, went "hm" and finished it in one fell swoop. So if it's a bit incoherent, that would be why. Don't worry about it. Come play in the sandbox with me.

[clay-core]

i have finally watched iron lung and instantly understood bloodymary more

[ctrl-shift-alt-9]

[jaynovz]

Potentially unpopular opinion but this trend to "bookclub" fics in private servers largely ends up excluding the author from a lot of positive reader feedback. It's treating fan creatives like they aren't, y'know, -part- of the fandom community, is what I mean. In my experience it does not actually foster community despite having the outward appearance of doing so.

Like, it's not even about wanting to be showered with praise. It's that this person spent a lot of time making the thing yall are gushing about. Don't you think they, more than anyone, want to chat about it with other people who love it too? Putting them on some weird exclusive pedestal isn't flattering or validating. They're just another fan who wants to talk about The Thing We All Like, Together.

Anyway, I am once again encouraging yall to talk to creatives whose work you enjoy, they don't bite. 💜

(Literally you can just compile a few of the things you said in the server about it and copypaste where the fan creative can see it. Simple!)

[catbellybuttons]

writing the first half of a fic: yaaaay! wooo!!! 🌈💝 fun ideas 😊💖✨️~

writing the second half of a fic: I am in a fight with god himself and he is winning

[rika-mortis]

Life is beach

[jasethegooberton]

Prettiest convict

[cabinette]

I don't go to the bloodymary fandom but i imagine this is what their dynamic is like

[ayinvui]

more bloodymary sketches

[maru046]

Some bloodymary art since I just finished iron lung, cozy vibes cuz they both deserve it

[skelerangart]

Angelic Cords

[jasethegooberton]

Mutation

[gruvu]

Something about how I can relate everything to greek mythos if I squint hard enough. But YEAH so funny story, after posting this protoframe, had like a couple people going (give him a ryan gosling). And thus the rabbit hole began. I did in fact see both movies and working on the book and played the game (poorly).

Anyway here