𝑨𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍

I ramble a lot

[antisocialsubject]

we loved each other like a footnote in a dead language — obscure, fragile, and only meaningful to the very specific kind of person who spends too much time alone

[antisocialsubject]

we were never together long enough to become ordinary

[antisocialsubject]

i miss the kind of summer where the air smelled like blooming flowers and cut grass and staying outside past sunset felt like getting away with something

[antisocialsubject]

Please, hear my begging, hear my pleas. For minutes of your precious time, I'd go down onto my knees

[antisocialsubject]

i want a summer that tastes like melted popsicles

and sounds like distant traffic at 11pm

the kind that makes you forget

you were ever unhappy

[antisocialsubject]

Flower of Love

Nurture your flower of love, for me, up to my eyes so I can see.

Don't let it wither below my sight, for our bond can not take flight.

I won't look down and strain my neck, nor will I ask, plead or beg.

Bring your love of up to my eyes and grow your flower just as high.

[antisocialsubject]

Come here to me you icy Rock. Concealing you are the key to my lock.

The beating heart of whom I like, its wamth my habor in respite.

Yet warmth can not be found near it. For trapped you have the whole of it.

[antisocialsubject]

youtube commentary is just monetized agreement at this point

i keep wondering when youtube commentary stopped being commentary and started being a slop magazine

because a lot of it now just feels like this weird formula

find a person who is already widely known to be awful

list everything they’ve done wrong

stretch it into a 40 minute “analysis”

but like… what is actually being analyzed there

there’s no risk in it

the audience already agrees with you before you even press play

you’re not challenging anything, you’re just packaging consensus

you’re not analyzing anything, you’re just monetizing agreement

and i think that’s why it feels so off

it’s not really critique, it’s moral gossip with better branding

the same way those trashy magazines dissect every minor celebrity scandal

except now it’s longer, sounds more intellectual, and has a sponsor break in the middle

which is also kind of ironic when the video is about someone being unethical

and then halfway through you pivot to selling something that’s… not exactly spotless either

it just makes the whole thing feel less like analysis and more like content production

it gives people the feeling of engaging with ideas

without ever actually encountering one that pushes back

i don’t think it was always like this

or maybe it was and this is just what gets rewarded now

but something about it feels very hollow

[antisocialsubject]

𝐀𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐚 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰,

𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧.

𝐈 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐲𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬—

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞, 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐛𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤.

𝐈 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫.

[antisocialsubject]

𝟑 𝐀𝐌 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝟑 𝐀𝐌, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐝𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬, 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬.

𝐈 𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐟𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝, 𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥.

𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐚𝐦 𝐈 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐤, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝?

𝐀𝐦 𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭? 𝐀 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐚 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬, 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝?

𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤, 𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭— 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠?

𝐈 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞— 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫.

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝, 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬, 𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐟 𝐰𝐞’𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞.

𝐀𝐭 𝟑 𝐀𝐌, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥, 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐤𝐲.

[antisocialsubject]

𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

𝐂𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞, 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐰, 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐠𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐎𝐟 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐟, 𝐬𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐝, 𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐳𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐢𝐫, 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐧 𝐰𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐬 𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞.

[antisocialsubject]

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐧 𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐬

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐩, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐤𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫, 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫. 𝐆𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧, 𝐫𝐞𝐝, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧, 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧.

𝐀 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐳𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐥, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝, 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐨𝐥𝐝. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐳𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, 𝐈𝐧 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐧’𝐬 𝐡𝐮𝐠, 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫.

[antisocialsubject]

𝐒𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬' 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐡, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞, 𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐬, 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐦, 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐛.

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐞𝐬, 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐆𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐲𝐞𝐬. 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐧'𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐡𝐮𝐞𝐬, 𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐬.

𝐒𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧, 𝐚 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰, 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰.

[antisocialsubject]

𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨𝐨.

[antisocialsubject]

𝘼𝙧𝙩 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙪𝙣𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙞𝙣.

[antisocialsubject]

𝚆𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚍; 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚖𝚗 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚜.

[antisocialsubject]

𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕; 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒖𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒅𝒐𝒎.