Weirdo

‘stranger things has happened’ LGBTQ+ SAFE NO NSFW A N S G T

[antleredweirdo]

Hey guys so I just lost my old account so this is my newish one. My old account was @weirdobats idk how to recover it back and so I just moved onto a this account which I used awhile ago

[antleredweirdo]

I feel like venting into the void that is tumblr but idk what to say so have this doe i found in a schoolyard

She is lost

[rimonoroni2]

i’m always thinking about that news story where a three year old boy who wandered away from his house and ended up in the middle of the woods was found by this local great pyrenees farm dog who herded the kid back to his unrelated owners house. and the guy was like. whose kid is this

[rimonoroni2]

that dog must have been like. hmm. this isn’t a goat. some human must have left their puppy behind by accident. i have to bring this to management. surely my owner will be able to sort out whatever has occurred. that kid was like i’m all alone and scared and omg a big fluffy puppy is here to help. and that fucking farmer looking at his dog like. who’s toddler did you steal???

[humanpersonface]

I think it is very important that everyone see the good boy in question. His name is Buford.

[kaity--did]

The problem with having a child with an attorney that has spoken to the child like an adult since birth is that she's 4 years old and she's negotiating the order in which we're going to complete tasks as a family to best suit her idea of an ideal day.

[kaity--did]

Penny: We go home, we play the mirror game, we have dessert, we play more games, we have fun deal?

Me: Okay well actually we're going to go home, have dinner, then dessert, then we can play your video game, then tubby then bed

Penny: Okay no tubby, games first, deal?

Me: This is not - what is happening right now?

Penny: Dada?

Dada: Arbitration?

Penny: DEALS!

[kaity--did]

Every single thing in our lives has become a negotiation and it is frankly ridiculous as it is hilarious.

Penny: I want to use bare foot when we go outside

Me: I didn't know we were going outside but you have to wear shoes girl

Penny: okay but what about I use bare foot's but at Penny's house? This deal?

Me: you know what yeah fine if you agree to not fight about shoes when we leave the house you can be barefoot in the back yard, deal.

Penny: -sticks her hand out expectantly- we deal?

I think I just made a verbal contract with a 4 year old.

[kaity--did]

She's attempting to establish evidence I think

Penny: but I want to go shool pwease

Dada: okay well it is 8pm, so you have to go to sleep now

Penny: okay but I see my fwiends at shool now please, deal?

Dada: Darling no one is at school, all your friends are asleep as well.

Penny: all Penny's fwiends are sweep? What about we... get in Dadas car and check to see watch them sweep, yes deal?

Dada: I cannot begin to explain to you why that can not happen

[kaity--did]

The great thing about being beholden to Penny the Deals Warlock is that she is also beholden to the art of the deal

Me: (watching Penny scoot her step stool over to where we keep the candy jar): hey honey we're literally walking out the door to go get dinner, maybe we wait on the candy okay?

Penny: Oh but I will have some candy?

Me: Why don't you come have some mac and cheese and then when we get home you can have some candy, deal?

Penny: (running out the door) oh, yes this is deals!

[kaity--did]

We are visiting my family and Papa has quickly had to pay patronage to Penny the Deals Warlock

Papa: (yesterday morning, when Penny was a little grumpy) What about you come downstairs and we'll have some waffles and then tomorrow Papa will take you to the Diner in town for breakfast?

Penny: (extending her tiny hand to a VERY confused man) this is deal?

Papa: (not knowing hes entering a literal contract) uhm yeah deal.

-smash cut to 6:30 AM this morning-

Penny (running down the hallway in bare feet) 👹BREAKFAST DEALS👹

[kaity--did]

Penny has a canker sore to end all canker sores, to the point where she hasn't been able to eat so we had to make some deals surrounding getting some medicine on it because a hungry Penny Rose is like a angry demon queen

Me: Okay baby this is going to suck. This is going to hurt real bad for a second and then it's going to feel weird and then it's going to feel good. You're going to hate it. But if you let Mama get these three medicines in and on you [Listerine, Antacid, Tylenol] you can scream it out and then we'll go get some ice cream! Deal?

Penny: (obviously not thrilled with this idea) okay, three big shreams, three medicines, ice cream ... it will suck... ice cream ... deal. (Sticks out hand and we shake on it)

Me: okay let's do this I'm so sorry (starts the process)

Penny: ( In between her big screams ) IM GONNA GET LOTS OF FRINKLES

[kaity--did]

My husband is trying to make a deal with Penny to get upstairs and get in the bath tub

Penny: I will go upstairs and get my body clean but you hafta titch me, deal?

Dada: I would love to make this deal with you kid but I literally have no idea what you are saying- I don't know what the terms are, you're speaking a language I don't speak

Penny: you have to titch me like mama does okay DEAL!? (Sticks tiny hand out aggressively)

Dada: (looks at me bewildered for help)

Me: ( starts making a quick tick tick tick sound imitating a stop watch like I'm timing her, while penny jumps around yelling YES TITCH ME LIKE THAT)

Dada: In what world was I ever going to figure that out, thank you for acting as our legal interpreter yes deal let's go!

and off she sprints.

[kaity--did]

Penny does not want to go to bed, but man is it time for her to go to bed

Penny: But I don't want to be sleeping, I want to stay up now! I want to see Grampy and Cozy and Guppie and Papa!

Mama: What if we video call all the grands and say good night to everyone? If we do that will you then go to bed no fussing?

Penny: Oh yes, this is deals! -sticks her hand out to shake-

** we make the rounds and video call all her grandparents, they are all already in bed and say good night and penny hangs up the last video call and toddles into bed with minimal fussing **

Penny : (after a few minutes of silence, over the video monitor, to herself in her dark bedroom) I hafta respect da deals.

[kaity--did]

Every morning Penny wakes up, and she asks if we have decorated her house with "Halloween every where" and every morning I have had to tell her not yet baby but soon. This last morning Penny had to go to pre k a little earlier then she is used to cause Daddy had court and I had a dentist appointment, which made her a little bummed out... or so I thought

Me: Hey baby do you want to make a deal about school?

Penny: (immediately sticks out her hand, literally no hesitation, her entire demeanor changing in an instant) yes let's deals, I will be big and brave and go to school no fussing, and you will put Halloween every where all over my house, okay this is deals Mama??

I think I just got hustled by a 4 year old...

[kaity--did]

A tangentially related update :

Penny: (is doing some strange interpretive dance to let us know she's not a fan of the cup we've chosen to put her juice in, mind you this is the only clean cup at this moment. She is hopping up and down, and swinging her arm like an elephant trunk, she is pirouetting, her hands are on her hips. Shes is completely silent)

Husband: (exasperated) okay but DID you make a deal with SOMETHING while you were pregnant ? It's the only explanation I can come up with.

[lamignonette]

[witheringheights]

just realised i never posted this here...........strawp request from last year :-3

[beardedmrbean]

[antleredweirdo]

Anyone have an author that whenever they post feels like a blessing from the heavens above?

[spacefinch]

Come get your gold stars

[confetti-cat]

[kkastra]

---EXILE ARC WEEK---

DAY SEVEN - FAREWELL

aaaaand we're finished here!!! it was a cool little experiment to push myself to draw daily. probably won't do that again for a while lol. hope you guys enjoyed it as much as i did!!!

EXILE ARC MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!

[antleredweirdo]

EXILE ARC!!

[kkastra]

---EXILE ARC WEEK---

DAY SIX - TROUBLEMAKER

(sigh......let's just pretend that i didn't get cockblocked and it's still an exile arc week and not an exile arc fortnight)

[minetocherish]

“My little brother.”

Based on the fic “The world forgetting by the worlf forgot” by Bonesandthebees on ao3

(Tommy and Dream’s implied dynamic is so angsty and delicious I am satiated.)

[antleredweirdo]

This is amazing

[salvaticc]

[antleredweirdo]

This is haunting

[antleredweirdo]

My chickens are happy today

[antleredweirdo]

I nearly drowned myself while bleaching my hair oh my god

[myriapoda-1306]

Friendly dog-sized bombus terrestris. What a fluffy buddy

[antleredweirdo]

I like to imagine they act like fat ol’ cats

[dragongirlteeth]

I am shocked at how many people don't have an actively hostile relationship with advertising

[dragongirlteeth]

I am skipping your ads as fast as I can. I'm skipping past your sponsor read. I'm muting the tv. I'm muting the tab. If they get too annoying I will simply stop trying to watch.

If advertisers can use every manipulative trick in the book to get me to buy their product, I am fully within my rights to do everything I can on my end to make their job impossible