Hi

An anxious girl with her emotional support axolotl 🫧 Welcome to my random thoughts journal.

[anxious-axolotls]

This is Flynn my emotional support axolotl.

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Pokopia has been my life lately!

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Hiiii so turns out your birth control can make your anxiety bad! I switched back to ole faithful and am on a low dose of anxiety meds now and I finally feel like I’m getting back to normal but a good normal.

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The anxiety med journey is so draining… I’m reevaluating everything right now and I just feel so stuck 😫

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Bad intrusive thoughts? Mentally spray yourself with water. Blast that shit as hard as you need it to.

Mental visualization of that not working?

Blast your face with actual water!

Train yourself !

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I recently heard the manifestation phrase “show me how good it gets” and it made me think… if we spend so much time thinking and stressing and panicking over the negatives in life, who says we can’t just flip it and focus on all the positives and all of the potential possibilities?

I’m going to try to start doing that. Romanticize your life! Your day to day is someone’s dream life.

[anxious-axolotls]

This is your sign to get the jellycat terrier clip and make him into your own coconut bag buddy 🩵

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I romanticize my Wawa experience and pretend it’s a Japanese conscience store

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So do we all collectively agree that Midnight Sun Y2K H2O Mermaids is the vibe this summer?

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So much of my life has revolved around “am I good enough?” I think thanks to therapy I have finally started to get to a point in my life where I have to stop and let whatever I do or create be good enough for me. Like for example, why should I rely on reactions from friends and family on my art? It’s one thing to share it but I’ve been sharing as if I need validation that it’s good enough. If I like my art and am satisfied and think it’s good then I should be happy with it. Obviously I’m open to criticism and open to bettering any art or myself in general. But I think my perfectionist / people pleaser complex got me for a while there and has been holding me back. I think I’m finally starting to crack the code.

[anxious-axolotls]

Doodled this y2k DIVAAA coconut my beloved 🥥 🩷

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Been drawing more!

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In other news can my new contacts please come in faster?! I dislike my current ones, my eyes strain so easily and it’s hard to focus my eyes sometimes. Ughhh pls and thank you!

[anxious-axolotls]

Hii just popping in to say that I have been feeling better lately. Yeah I still have my moments and yeah I’ll still have my moments of feeling down but the fact that I’m starting to feel more normal here and there has been really great. I’ve never worked this hard on my mental health before, and I’m nowhere near done but I just think I’ve come a long way since I spiraled out in December and I’m just really proud of myself.

[anxious-axolotls]

I feel like I’m entering this new phase of life and I just feel like idk what I want for myself. Coming out of a being a pro athlete is weird. Like what do I do, where do I go next, what do I dedicate myself to now? Who am I without this sport? It’s a lot to uncover and I think has been a source for my anxiety. Change is hard.

[anxious-axolotls]

Ugh the ups and downs of anxiety can be so annoying when you’re on your downs. Sick of it

[anxious-axolotls]

Friendly reminder that you are not your thoughts. You are in control of your life and don’t need to be so in your own head!! I’ve been thinking about how my own mind is what has anxiety so if I am technically giving myself anxiety then who says I can’t stop and remove it ? Anxiety is a feeling you subconsciously are giving yourself so just acknowledge that and stop. It’s a really interesting perspective that I feel like has helped me lately