I dont know who the hell the B stands for but god its disgusting that you ship anyone with Dib. Thats a whole ass child, freak. Wanted to follow for the Pokemon content but you're out here shipping whatever the fuck badr is. Dont fucking ship the kids with irkens jesus christ
HUH????? BADR IS MY NAME ITS A NAME IN ARABIC I DON’T EVEN WATCH ZIM DUGDHBCHBVHJVFH WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON
hello everyone watch this right now it's so fucking peak . please. its so good. it has all the og static ososan references and more and its so high quality and beautiful . Please watch it . its SO peak. i'm going to hurt something
Explaining the different first person pronouns that the Osomatsu-san sextuplets use (by a Japanese person)
Uhhhh this is mostly for myself but i thought that my English audience could use this too!!! I'll add more notes and analysis to this when i think of them...
Why you should give Text Adventure games a try (yes, you!)
There is not nearly enough love for Text Adventure Games here on Tumblr. Or anywhere really. But especially here, I feel like you guys would really get a kick out of them. Here's why:
(quick note, I'm gonna be using the words Text Adventure and Interactive Fiction pretty interchangeably here. Technically that's not perfectly accurate. Visual novels count as interactive fiction, so do all video games I guess if you squint. And not all text-based interactive fiction can really be called Text Adventure (games like Narcolepsy, Depression Quest, and Scene Kid Simulator aren't really adventure games in any sense of the word). Just roll with it.
So
Do you like weird short stories told through unconventional mediums? That's most of what Interactive Fiction is
You like story based video games but hate the finicky combat? Congrats, there is literally no combat skill required beyond the ability to type "hit guard with crowbar"
Blind or visually impaired? Since these games are (with a few exceptions) entirely text based, they work great with a screen reader!
Sick of profit motivated AAA titles with no creative integrity? Well, these games are almost always produced by a single nerd (usually a horrid amalgamation of computer geek and literature geek) with no budget and no responsibilities of the product they're making. And they're usually not paid, since these games are free. Text Adventure is a labour of love, and in most games you can feel the care and effort the creator has put into the game.
Sick of spending $20-70 on a video game? Lucky you, I've been playing TA for years and I have not spent a cent in doing so (Fallen Londen will try to make you pay. But Fallen Londen sucks and is run by bigots. Fuck Fallen London.) Games are either available free on a browser, or as free, small downloadable files (most of which can be played using the Parchment Interpreter)
Wish you read more, but reliant on the quick dopamine of digital media? Well now you can read while also being an active participant in the narrative.
Bad at puzzles? Me too! Games from the 80s and 90s, as well as more famous newer games, have walkthroughs and hints easily available online. Newer games tend to either have a "hint" command, or come with a walkthrough file.
Do you like weird surrealist horror? Well there's... A lot of it.
Okay, but where do I start?
So there are two types of text adventure. The one you might be more accustomed to, and which sees more modern use, is called Hypertext Interactive Fiction. The other is called Parser Interactive Fiction, it's generally seen in older games, as well as games that are larger, feature more puzzles, or involve more exploration.
Hypertext games
Basically, the game will give you a scenario, and then a list of options (hypertext links) to click on to decide what to do next. These are usually more beginner friendly since you don't need to fiddle around with parsers, but personally I find them a bit limiting. Nonetheless, if you're new to Text Adventure, they're a good place to start.
Some of my favourites hypertext games (summaries in green)
My Father's Long, Long Legs is an interactive horror story about family, unease, and loss. Really more of a story than a game, but still good. Very nice use of sound. It does have some visual aspects, so this one might not work with screen readers
Scene Kid Simulator is pretty much what it says on the tin. A cute, nostalgic, coming-of-age slice of life story from the POV of a 2000s scene preteen. Nothing special, but a fun time.
The Uncle Who Works at Nintendo is a strange, unconventional, witty, and heartfelt horror game. Your friend has an uncle who he says works for Nintendo. You're about to meet him, or so he says. A fun and look at childhood, childhood friendships, and childhood lies.
16 Ways to Kill a Vampire at McDonald's is... A joy to play. The name says it all honestly. Witty, charming, tense, engaging, and emotional when it wants to be. I actually found this one through a lucky Tumblr Blaze, which makes sense since this is perfectly suited to Tumblr sensibilities. This one has more puzzle aspects than most hypertext games, but it's still relatively easy and beginner friendly. You're a vampire hunter. It's your night off, and you go to McDonald's. But there's something wrong with the customer sitting beside you...
Toadstools is a game about hunting mushrooms. You have trespassed in a national park and you are wandering blindly through the woods looking for rare fungi. Good luck :)
Parser games
Okay these fuckers are where I really get excited. These games have the classic flashing cursor line where you input text like "go north", "search bookshelf", or "kiss my husband", and the game's rudimentary AI parses your input to decide what happens next. These are my favourites. They really allow you the feeling of exploring the game world, immerse you in the protagonist and the story, using just text on a screen and simple inputs. This does make them considerably more difficult, since a) you need to decide the right way to phrase what you want to do, otherwise it won't work, and b) more possibilities means more chances to mess up and miss things. Unlike video games, your cursor won't light up when you see something important, you'll have to search stuff and work things out on your own But, in my opinion, it is so, so worth it. Summaries in red
The first text adventure game I ever played was One Eye Open. It's an extremely graphic and gory medical horror game (although I would consider it tasteful medical horror, in that it never derives horror from medical procedures, disability, or ooOoHh gross scary sick people) You play as a volunteer test subject for a medical research facility, having to unravel the mystery of the hospital's bloody past. It's good. It's fun. It's tense. It has some really dumb mechanics. Don't play if you're sensitive to descriptions of gore, death, or corpses. This one doesn't have a walkthrough, but I've played it enough times to know the puzzles by heart, DM me if you need help.
Anchorhead is possibly my favourite piece of interactive fiction I've ever played. It's incredible. You play as a newlywed woman, moving to the small seaside town of Anchorhead after your husband Michael inherited a mansion from some distant relatives. There's something wrong with the town though. There's definitely something wrong with your husband's mysterious ancestors. And you're starting to think that there might be something strange happening to Michael. Get ready for some wonderfully atmospheric and immersive Lovecraftian horror, action sequences that are incredibly vibrant for Text Adventure, and a super compelling mystery that the game lets you work out on your own. The puzzles here are hard. I'm not gonna lie, I used a walkthrough at several points during this game. But my god it's worth it. Big massive huge content warning here for mentions of incest, sexual assault, and pedophilia. Not in excess, and nothing explicit, but it will be mentioned as part of the story.
Little Blue Men is a short, strange, sci-fi-ish horror-ish comedy-ish game by the same author as Anchorhead, though the two games are wildly different. You are an office worker. Cope with it. Take The Stanley Parable, Stella Firma, and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, mash 'em together, and you have Little Blue Men. It's bizarre. It's evocative. It's pretty darn good.
Coloratura is a strangely beautiful sci-fi story. You're a weird little alien blob. You've been separated from your home and are trapped aboard a human spaceship. You need to get home, need to make the humans understand in the only ways you can: color and song.
Slouching Towards Bedlam is a brilliant little steampunk game about language, choice, cults, Armageddon, and triangles. This game has multiple endings. It's neat in that none of the endings are really "good" or "bad". Rather, you need to decide where you stand, and act in the way you think is best.
The Lurking Horror is the grandparent of horror interactive fiction, released in the late 80s. You're a tech student in university. Something more than electricity is powering the school's computers. Find it, but don't die along the way. Besides the comically archaic descriptions of computers, this game doesn't feel all that dated. It's tricky, puzzle-heavy, and charmingly surreal. (Fun fact, this game inspired the "darkness kills you" mechanic which would later be popularized in Don't Starve!)
Nine Lives is a very short, very weird, very cartoony game where you play a cat that is very bad at staying alive. Cw for non-graphic but repeated cat death.
Spider and Web is one of the most ingenious uses of Text Adventure as a medium I've ever seen. It's famous for having one of, if not the singular best puzzles in video game history. It's tense, it's fast-paced, it introduces you to mechanics slowly and then lets you test them out on your own. I won't spoil too much, but you play as a very badass spy, reliving your brilliant heist during an interrogation. This game even features a character destined to be a Tumblr Sexyman. It really has it all.
If anyone actually read through all this, and has even considered playing any of these games, I'll be a little surprised. This post turned out a lot longer than I wanted it to be. It was meant to just be "hey interactive fiction is a cool and underappreciated medium, go check it out", but this is my special interest, and not one I often get to talk about. I guess this was me infodumping to the only place that will listen, the empty void of the internet. But these games are fun. And they do not get enough love. Text games are a dying genre, if they're not dead already. Give them a chance, show them some love.
@icannotgetoverbirds thank you! I'm glad you're interested! The post contains links to all the games (although most will not work on mobile, since most of these games predate mobile phones. The links won't take you directly to the games, but rather to a portal through which the games can be launched.
Most of the links I provided are to IFDB, the Interactive Fiction Database, a community run archive which allows you to search for games by title, age, genre, and community reviews. It has plot descriptions, reviews, and "people who rated this game highly also enjoyed [blank]" reccomendations. It will also provide a list of places each game can be played. Your best bet is online, it's the easiest to navigate and best for less tech-savvy people, although occasionally the online game will be missing some elements (like colour or music). You can also download the files, if they're HTML you can open them directly on your computer, if they're Glulx or Gblorb you can open them in Parchment.
There's also Textadventure.co.uk, which does a similar thing, but I personally find the UI and search function to be more clunky and less accurate (if IFDB is Ao3, TA.co is closer to Wattpad). You're also gonna see many more hypertext games than parser games, which as I mentioned isn't ideal for me.
Lastly, if you really wanna plumb the depths, there's the IF Archive. This is truly an archive in every sense of the word. Founded in 1992, contains close to every piece of text adventure gaming content ever published, as far as I can tell. There's no keyword search function or review feature, just a long winding series of lists of links and web portals. If you're lucky you'll get game descriptions like "A horror mystery game" or "a twisted fairy tale", but just as often you'll have to pick games through titles and vibes alone. Personally, sifting through decades of the Archive looking for games with cool titles to blindly download is my definition of a fun Saturday, but it's... Not for everyone.
Sorry for the rambling again. If you have any more questions, do not hesitate to ask. And if you do play any of these games and enjoy them, please DM me. I need more people (read- any people) to talk to about this stuff.
special event: i'm running a villau in-character askbox/askblog! Feel free to send in questions for the villau cast (or me :3) in my inbox here or in this strawpage!
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