Markus wasnât one to show many emotions on the surface level to a lot of people, but right now he couldnât hold back the tears that fell as he stood by the former painters grave. That night was burned into his memory, the moment he became a deviant, his own person was the night Carl had passed away. What could he have done differently to prevent this? At that moment he only had two options, push Leo or donât. He chose not to, he chose to respect Carl and endure it but in the end, it led to this outcome. It would be easy to blame Leo for this, but he knew it wouldnât help. Just as much as Leo put the blame on him, sending him to the junkyard.
With a small sigh, he pushed the thought out of his head as he placed a box of paint on the grave. âI got you some new paint Carl.â While he was at a struggle to believe if there was something after death, it still gave him a sense of warmth, as he imagined what Carl would be like if he was there with him. Probably say how he had enough paint as it was or how Markus should be getting some for himself. âA lot has changed and I think you would have liked it. Iâm the nominated spokesperson for androids now. Thatâs why I havenât come to see you recently, itâs been busy.â He shook his head with a small laugh as he looked at the paints. He knew most would pay respects by being quiet but he couldnât help himself, Markus also knew that Carl wouldnât just want a sombre atmosphere around. He would want to hear what changed and what he was doing or feeling, it was just how Carl was.
Hearing footsteps took him out of his thoughts as he looked to the side, seeing the one person he didnât think he would. Leo. He only saw him once after what happened and it was here, not that they spoke at the time. Markus couldnât bring himself too and he had other more important matters to do that could result in the life or death of his people. Even now his words and meetings with officials governed how they would live and the laws he was trying to push to give androids equality and safety. âLeo, I hope you donât mind.â He could always leave the younger wanted him to, not that heâd be happy but he knew what it meant to be alone during this. Especially, someone, you valued as a father.
      leo has been here more than heâd like to admit ( itâs not like he has anywhere else to go, ) but he hasnât seen markus since that one time they passed by each other. he does, however, have the feeling that the android is visiting ... he supposes he doesnât have proof of this, but who else would leave paint like this ? every time he visits, heâs tempted to steal it. it could sell for something, & heâs desperate for cash â but every time the thought occurs for him, he just ... canât go through with it. thatâd be terrible disrespectful, & leo has disrespected his dad enough. besides, he knows heâd end up spending the money on drugs instead of food or anything else he needs, which isnât what the old man wouldâve wanted. so ... he just canât bring himself to do it. thatâs a surprising level of restraint, considering everything heâs already done. ... still, it seems a little wasteful in his opinion, buying this shit just to leave it on a grave. then again ? itâs not like he cares about paint. heâs no artist â never has been, never can be. he has less imagination than an android that has yet to deviate, & unlike them, thereâs nothing he can do to change that. itâs ironic, that carl manfred could have a son with such limited vision. some son he is, though.
      at least someone can leave something here. leo is too broke to buy flowers.
      now, when carl had first died, he had blamed markus. heâs ... blamed a lot of things on markus, as a matter of fact. markus, carl, his mom â everything heâs ever done, heâs always blamed it on someone else, & he always thought he was in the right. & then, after losing his dad, even if they never had a good relationship ... it had taken a while to hit him, but it had hit him: this was his fault. this was his fault, like so many things were, & ... well, everything had spiraled out of control from there. ( not that he had anything under control beforehand. ) his guilt is a burden that heâs got no one to help him carry, & itâs the punishment he deserves. he hadnât been able to bring himself to accept anything of his dadâs, & thatâs why heâs living like this, nowhere to stay, desperately trying to keep himself alive. he supposes thatâs something he deserves, too. the world is changing for the better, & thereâs no room for him in a better world. on some level, heâs always been afraid of this ... but heâs not fighting it. heâs accepted it, & by extension, heâs accepted markus. they havenât spoken for what feels like years, but heâs accepted the android nonetheless.
      as he approaches his dadâs grave, he can see someone there from a distance, & he knows that itâs markus before he can make out any details. leo freezes in place & considers turning around, leaving before the android can see him ... but decides against it. thereâs no reason to do that, & he likes to visit his dad as often as possible, feeling like any given trip here might be his last. so, hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket ( the same one he was wearing last time he saw markus, actually, but it looks more worn out than before, ) leo makes his way to where his dad is buried & stands beside markus, seemingly intently focused on the headstone. ( really, he just canât bring himself to look the android in the eyes. ) if he were high, he knows heâd be pissed to see markus. heâs so angry when heâs hopped up on ice ... & leo hates people like that, always has â even when it meant hating himself. heâs not high, though. heâs sober, as painful as that is, partially out of determination to do right by his dad & partially because he canât pay anyone to give him some. so ... heâs not angry, only ashamed. thatâs why leo slowly shakes his head: a sign that heâll let markus stay. hell, if anyone shouldnât be here, itâs him, the son carl never even wanted. the son that failed him over & over. markus was more of a son to him than leo ever was, & only now does he understand why. â i donât care. you were here first. itâs fine. â he doesnât even sound bitter ... just tired. thatâs all he is.
      theyâre both quiet for a while. leo usually talks to the headstone, because he has no one else to talk to â itâs pathetic, he knows, but heâs probably shared more with this grave than he ever shared with a living, breathing carl. he wonders if markus usually talks to him, too ... but, really, he has no idea. all he knows is that the android leaves things here. he ... has never been close to markus or carl. maybe that was for the best, though. â markus ... ? â surprisingly, itâs leo who breaks the silence, & even more surprisingly, heâs crying. he doesnât cry often ... he prefers to act like his fine, even if thereâs no one around to fool. & yet, there are definitely tears in his eyes as he continues to stare at the words on the headstone,  & then he goes on, â iâm ... iâm sâsorry. â he doesnât expect to be forgiven, but the apology has been trapped in his chest for a long while. for a moment, he seems like he has more to say, but he doesnât trust himself to do it without sobbing in front of the android ... so he shuts up, now focused on trying to hide his face by rubbing it against his unwashed sleeve.
2087
snowghoul
pixelskylines
dailybridgerton
areudirty
izzy806
jacobvanloon
discoholicmusic
