Bone Water

Any/All - Minor - I’m very fearful

[aphidslop]

Hihihihihihihi!!!! Call me Aphid 🎉

If you need to tell me something (like if you dont want me interacting with your posts for whatever reason) please dont be shy to, just please be polite im a fragile little bitch

I like making stuff so I might post about that. I don’t really know what my gender identity is at the moment, but I go by any/all and I don’t care what titles or suffixes you use for me. I’m also a minor so do with that what you will.

At this rate fuck a DNI list if we don’t jive it will come to be. If I list anything here I’ll feel too afraid to stumble outside of my own rules. Just know if you’re like, a decent normal person I probably won’t mind you (I’m usually a lurker anyways teehee)

ALSO!!!!!!!

I vent occasionally because I can’t stop yapping so be aware

[aphidslop]

Surely dish soap will clean every nook and cranny of this kitchen if I believe hard enough

[aphidslop]

Mp3 player up to 3412 tracks. Imm rolling in it 😏

[aphidslop]

Waiting for everyone to go to bed so I can watch Like Minds again (12:42 in the morning) (Playing solitaire) (Second time in a week)

[angelf4wnn]

Real footage of me after eating anything

[aphidslop]

Yeah…

[apollosunn-moved-deactivated202]

anyone else relate

[midnightclover]

[aphidslop]

Impulse control so bad I cut my hair poorly and set myself up for several responsibilities I haven’t kept up with in five weeks and told a guy i like him but im not even sure thats real😋

[thegarfinator-45]

usually i don't think of dreams for more than a few days, but i had a dream two weeks ago that has constantly just been on my mind since. also keep in mind this one's kinda gross. not really ultra gross stuff, but there is stale old gross food involved so fair warning

everyone at my school was getting married on school property except me. people were even getting married to people that don't even exist in real life and i had to wear a dress during the whole thing (which i do not like wearing dresses AT ALL.) then i went home and had dinner from a place i haven't gone to in a long time called noodles and company, except instead of getting any pasta, i just got some gross boiled dumplings and a raw egg with the shell on. when i cracked the egg, it was dry. like it was still raw, it was just... mummified. it was genuinely so gross and i woke up feeling really sad and like i was about to barf

[aphidslop]

Sad is an interesting emotion to feel about that. But nah dude that’s awful, I hate dreams like that. I had one where everyone from school was tryna kill each other, real bloodbath battle royale kinda deal but with like sophomores. It was weirdly long and I was very frightened for my life and most spent time just sneaking around and hiding in this neighborhood I don’t remember ever seeing before

[aphidslop]

Watching Shangri-La Frontier is making me really eager to play an mmorpg or something of the sort, and I’m sort of battling myself on it.

On one hand, I really want to play a game where I can get that kind of freedom of experience and sort of forge my own path. The idea of a game where I can basically do whatever and figure it all out myself without a singular, set plot line is cool as hell.

The problem is, I’m not well versed on these kinds of games and I think reading any kind of reviews about the ones I could play will make me less inclined to try any of them. On top of that, many of the games I know of have very dedicated and long-term player bases, and I know in spaces like that it can be very overwhelming and challenging for a new player to get any footing, not to mention daunting (at least for me).

Despite that, I still want to play a multiplayer game. In single player games, there’s experiences you can’t get—assistance from well-versed players who can give you pointers or show you around, team ups and rescues from bad situations, trading, and the uniqueness that literally only a separate human being can bring to an already designed world.

It’s like going out by yourself in town. There’s people unrelated to you doing their own things, hanging out with their friends or getting food and running errands, or going to work or heading to a gym to work out. Yeah, there’s unsavory people amongst them, and maybe some of the things you could do while out need multiple people, but there’s a lot you can do by yourself. I want that feeling. I worry that going into a game I’ll be forced into playing with people just to progress at all. Also, I’m kind of broke so I don’t know if maybe the games that are better are out of my typical price range of $0.

At the end of the day, I know there’s probably not much that compares to a very detailed fictional video game. I guess I’ll figure it out sometime this summer, whether that entails finding what I want or just giving up. X3

[aphidslop]

(Honestly ignore this)

I caught something at the last show I went to or something and so I’ve been sick all week and my throat is so fucked I can barely even make my voice work, and my stomach is irritated so I’m afraid to even eat because it seems like everything makes me feel worse. I took a nap cuz i stayed up too late and barely got any sleep, but it just made me feel worse because naps always do that to me. We’re having family dinner but my grandma showed up and I hate eating around her because she grosses me out and has the worst hygiene, not to mention my weird food contamination issues. Not to mention my BIL cooked something with a ton of onions and I don’t have the appetite to eat any of it. My mom keeps asking me if im mad at her because she came to pick me up from my dad’s earlier than she said she would and barely gave me any time to get ready, but i guess it doesnt even matter cuz im not even eating with them anyways.

Summer was supposed to be freeing for me, like some kinda weight off of my shoulders because school fucking ate me alive, but all I can think about is all the shit I’ve got to do and the responsibilities ive set up for myself that i dont want to keep doing for various reasons, even though theres a lot of expectations tied to them. I have feelings for a boy that I’ve already told I couldn’t manage being in a relationship with, and im struggling because i dont think i can be any good in a relationship anyways because the truth is I dont want to put effort in.

I dont want to go to college. I dont want to get a draining, busy job where i have to make shit up and find answers and serve the public and I don’t want the world on my shoulders. I dont want to make big changes. I dont wanna be in the band i joined because it was an impulsive decision and i realized we don’t seem to mesh that well together on my end and I’m awful at communication. I dont wanna get a drivers license because driving scares me and the idea of going to take the test frightens me. I dont want to worry about saving enough money and planning my finances and doing taxes and making millions of dollars. I dont wanna do anything.

I want a mediocre, average life where i make just enough to not worry about shit, where I can go out with friends sometimes or maybe not even have any friends, and I wanna be confident and comfortable online because its the place i grew up and i dont wanna fear people anymore. I dont wanna be scared of adults and other peoples parents and family. I wanna stock shelves or mop floors and do the most basic job that doesnt also include customer service. I dont wanna work outside with the bugs and the heat and shit.

Im so goddamn pathetic and tired and all the effort i put in is fucking wasted on my lack of dreams and motivation. Im a waste of energy.

[aphidslop]

hmmm. getting up to peculiar activities tonight….

[aphidslop]

Bum ass school field trip getting in the way of my civics project and my life ughhh

[aphidslop]

(Oh my god im posting about roblox point of no return on main too woah)

I got into. A new game (not new but my interest is) and I like it. A lot 🌝 i drew fanart already and now i jsut wanna say things about it because i feel lonely

First off, I didn’t expect to feel so many emotions with Point of No Return. Like, the characters are lovely and I love the atmosphere and music, not to mention the lore has me hooked, but like… woah. Especially playing ESCAPE EVIL HOSPITAL OBBY!! (necessary caps) and just how ruthless it is. Mmm. Good games, great mix of humor and horror, heart wrenching plot and absolutely delightful cast! (I feel like I’m talking in circles here)

Greg has managed to become one of my favorites thanks to the new event, alongside Percy because he’s just so endearing especially with all the angst. But at the end of the day I cherish them all in my icky little heart and I am very politely and eagerly awaiting future content, canon or otherwise!!

[aphidslop]

A few years or so ago, I was scrolling Twitter and came across this person selling prints of their artwork. They were struggling for money bad, apparently, and their art was so cool I bought three of them. It’s been so long and I don’t use Twitter anymore, so I’ve entirely forgotten who it was that made these, but I hope they’re well.

Now that I’m moving and pulling them down off the walls, I figured this was a good time to post about them 😋

[aphidslop]

BANANA SLURPEE BITCH I PULLED HARD ASF ON THE 7/11 GAMBLE WAHOO

[aphidslop]

DO NOT LET ME DRIVE PAST 60 PLEASE GOD

my grandma cannot handle herself at all oh my god

[aphidslop]

ACTs finished, no more stress and no more Magoosh!!!! FUCK YES I already feel better about life. Last night I genuinely had a breakdown about it. Straight up sobbing gagging mind numbing breakdown. But I’m free!!!