APMaffs

Working myself back into life. Mostly NSFW as a person, and also not looking to be your advocate.

[my-dailydreams]

[goth-queen]

[apmaffs]

Sometimes I find myself looking at my husband as he sleeps. Appreciating how beautiful he is. Observing every curve of his body. Thinking about how every essence of his being is a pure art God bestowed upon me.

...then he farts nastily in my general direction.

[apmaffs]

[unbreakablemouserat]

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (1975-present) Season 37

[apmaffs]

It's obviously Timon.

[landsccape]

[apmaffs]

He got that Barn Owl Booty

[egax]

I have been saving this since last year. Happy Earth Day everyone.

[freefitty]

literally has been in my queue for an entire year. you just can’t miss reblogging.

[apmaffs]

...5 YEARS LATER

[apmaffs]

I'm finally happy. That is all.

[onceiwashere]

he’s going The pisstance

he’s going For peed

[onceiwashere]

sometimes i really do like it here

[sweetbirthdaybabyyy]

[i-am-a-fish]

I have an eyelash in my eye :(

could someone please help me by giving me three thousand dollars

[i-am-a-fish]

something crazy about this post- it was inspired by my real life. I actually have an eyelash in my eye right now, my real eye, while I'm typing this. I also would really like three thousand dollars

[spaghettihell]

I have 3k but you can’t have it

[apmaffs]

I have an extra eyelash I'm willing to donate

[guerrillatech]

[ryukiki]

[gluten-free-pussy]

Yes Tumblr is a hellsite but at least we don’t have this

[rubyfunkey]

Gay /pos /hj

which part is the half-joke the gay part or the pos part. my friend hannah wants to know

[rubyfunkey]

hold on anon she has another question

[hannahp0calypse]

[apmaffs]

♠️

[vaspider]

One of the most annoying things about certain posts on any social media post is setting out a boundary about the kind of person you're talking about in that post (for example: "cishet people ages 40-60 that I've talked to") & then having a bunch of people roll up in the notes like "I'm 40, don't lump me in with this!"

Bro, are you a cishet person I talked to? Oh, you're not? Then it's not about you. Relax your butthole, buddy. You don't need to clench every time someone else farts.

[chrismsquared]

I'm totally stealing that last line. Genius. <3 :D

[vaspider]

:]

[parkerposey]

Him: you better not be a man of constant sorrow when I get home

My stupid ass:

[catchymemes]

[infinitydivine]

I am not taking a risk

[darlingsstern]

Not risking it pals

[doralimasstuff]

U know what I want potato of luck

[shrewreadings]

Damn right I’m reblogging. See previous post re wrath of whatever from high atop the thing.