A Pocket Full of Lessons.

Invision the future you want and work everyday to build it. This blog is for everyone looking to build the future they deserve. The believers, the dreamers, the ones looking for knowedge and anyone else who's ready to join the ride. You were born with the power to do anything, so lets get it done. Here you will find writings of my own. Lessons from the greats, book reviews and content to help you along your path to greatness.   

[apocketfulloflessons]

Everything in this world worth having starts with no. Nothing, absolutely nothing in life that is important to you will ever just appear.

You're gonna start with a want. Then you will find a need. After that, someone or something is going to get in your way.

That's when you get to work, that's when you grind. The second you hear No! Is the second you decide no means absolutely nothing. You hear no, but you respond with everything positive. You respond with self worth. You know what you want, need, and must have in YOU'RE LIFE.

EVERY NO is the FIRST step to YES!!

So look for the NO!. Ask for it, find it. Chase it down! When you find it, get to work, because behind every NO, is a yes.

[apocketfulloflessons]

[apocketfulloflessons]

It was once said that "it takes great courage to change the world" it was also said that "it takes courage to accept what cannot change."

Finding the courage to change what others deem impossible is why everything we see today exist.

Finding the courage to accept that some things/people/mindsets will never change is exactly what gives someone the power to change. Because when they realize something won't change, they change their circumstances.

Change is only possible when you choose to make it. Elon Musk made a choice to do what others said couldn't be done. An abused partner realized change was impossible unless they moved on.

Change is what allows us to grow. When we realize that change isn't possible in our current situation. Then change the situation! Don't keep doing the same thing and hoping for a different result. Do what you must to achieve the outcome you seek.

[apocketfulloflessons]

Charlie Wardle "A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not on the branch but on its own wings.”

If you're gonna take a gamble, Gamble on you! If your going to believe in someone, Believe in you! If you're going to shoot for something, shoot for the stars EVERY SINGLE DAY!

The only thing that will EVER HOLD you back is YOU! Your ability is unlimited and potential is limited only by the belief you have in yourself.

Love yourself, believe in yourself, and if you're going to take a gamble. Gamble on you.. You and only you know what you're capable of. Don't tell anyone what you can do. Show EVERYONE why they should have believed in you as much as you do.

[apocketfulloflessons]

Shhh.

Ask, always ask. But more importantly, LISTEN!. You might learn something.

Oftentimes the smartest person in the room, is the one asking questions.

Always ask, but remember that's just unlocking the door. You have listen to open it before someone can walk through.

You asked the question for a reason. But before an idea can sink in, before a lesson can be understood, before anything new can be achieved. You have to let go of everything you think, and open up to what follows.

[apocketfulloflessons]

Enough said

[apocketfulloflessons]

Never be just an option and never accept a maybe. Move on and be the opportunity someone is looking for and the yes you deserve.

I absolutely love hearing, maybe. Maybe is proof of action and equally an opportunity.

If a person ever says maybe, it means "I'm unsure, I'm keeping my options open for something better, or I'm not comfortable enough with myself to be honest and say No".

The proof of action is simple.

If someone's unsure, they either don't know what they want, or they don't know you are what they need. Either way, your time is better spent moving onto what you know you want.

If someone is keeping their options open, they know you aren't what they want. But they would be willing to settle for you. (Why would you ever invest your time into someone that just settled for you. They don't actually value you, your time, your skills.) They just know they can get by with them. Which also means, they will move onto the best option when it comes along.

I'm not comfortable enough with myself to be honest and say no. This is a person that is not and has not found their voice. They don't say yes because they want and need what you have. They say it because they are afraid of what happens when they don't say yes. You obviously at this point know who you are, what you want, and what you deserve. If you didn't, you wouldn't have asked.

You as a person in that moment in any circumstance, professional, personal, intimate or whatever. You know exactly what you want in that moment. You asked for the raise, you asked for the date, you asked for the job, or whatever, the list is endless. In that moment, you know you can have and are deserving. But maybe isn't a yes. It just stops you from asking. So why would you ever except it.

Don't accept it! Take the opportunity to save extremely valuable time. Move on to the job that will value your skill, move on to the partner that does want to be with you and isn't settling, move on the the boss that does value who you are and will absolutely want you to stay.

Walking away allows you to move onto what you deserve and be where you are valued accordingly. Don't be an option and don't wait for a maybe to turn into a yes. Go be the opportunity someone is looking for and go get the yes you deserve.

#apocketfulloflessons

[apocketfulloflessons]

Never have a bad day/ Have a bad moment and move on to the beauty that still lies ahead. Never be afraid to make a mistake/ Look forward to learning from it and hope you have the opportunity to make as many mistakes as possible. Never regret a decision/ be grateful you had a choice then remember it may not have worked out, but you know better for next time. Never walk away from someone and say it's forever/ walk away knowing someday your paths may cross again and they may not be the same person you walked away from before. Never say Never. Today you're here, tomorrow you're there. Your perspective moves exactly like you do. It changes with you, it grows with you, and it learns with you. Strive every day to be the you you're meant to be. Not the you that you used to be.

[apocketfulloflessons]

[apocketfulloflessons]

I spend a lot of time writing about value and time. Understanding you have a value, understanding that people who genuinely care about you see that value and because they do, you invest time into them that's so precious. One thing that eats a lot of time is grief. Grief is completely natural and a very important part of life. Unfortunately, we spend so much time trying to avoid it that we waste precious and valuable time. Grief itself is like a storm. It comes on like a wave, and eventually it will pass with time. But like anything challenging in life, running from it only prolongs the process. Eventually it will catch you, and when it does you will still be running. So you actually run with it and ultimately spend much more time in it. I would offer the story of the Buffalo. A Buffalo sees a storm approaching and the herd runs at it head on until they come out on the other side. What's on the other side? Sunshine and wet grass. What could be better. Nature has a funny way of teaching us every day. We know the best way to address a problem is to face it, we know the fastest way to address a problem is to run at it head on and eventually come out on the other side. With time being so valuable, wouldn't you want to spend as little of it as possible under the rain cloud? The only way to address grief is to go through it. So be the Buffalo, except that the rain is coming and allow yourself to jump into it so you can get to the other side. Stop wasting time avoiding anything. Go at it, get through it and move on to what comes next. You can do anything you believe possible. But you have to start with taking steps towards it to do so.

[apocketfulloflessons]

Be genuine, be forward, say what you feel and see what happens. Don't react to what you heard, respond to what you see. Invest yourself into what you want and let it grow in all things. Know you have a value and you will see the reward. If it's an investment, remember that a choice made of emotion means you've forgotten the discipline that you need long term. If it's a choice about a relationship, money, a project, idea and so on. Always take a step back. Look down on the situation and think about it. Sometimes the best thing you can do, or say is NOTHING. If its a person and you were genuine, honest and forward. (You made clear your interests, you asked for their attention and what you wanted from the start.) If they value you, they will defend you in your absence, ask the motivation of the voices of others instead of the looking at the picture they paint. They'll ignore what's said and value what they see instead. They will notice your lack of attention and look for more. Make good investments with your time, with your money and with the people you allow to see every part of your life. Because very very few things should and will ever earn a place in your whole life. Stop worrying about what has happened and worry about what is. You may end up finding a beautiful surprise. #apocketfulloflessons

[apocketfulloflessons]

I heard someone say once, that people judge them before they know them, and because they do. That person would prefer to be alone. They'd happily build a wall and keep everyone out to spare themselves the pain of the judgement of others. The pain they felt kept them alone.

To this day, I personally believe that may be one of the most depressing things I've ever heard. I'd also like to challenge the ideology.

Most people are EXACTLY who they were meant to be. They have their own passions, their own ideas, their own wants, needs, dreams and so on. They are perfectly them somewhere deep down. They may not have found it yet. BUT, they're good at SOMETHING!

Weirdly, along the way, somehow they forget to be who they're meant to be. Somewhere on the path, we, all of us choose to care more about how others view us. We decide to think we should be what's expected, then try to make that who we are. Instead of just being unforgettably and perfectly ourselves.

A fact exists in all humans. Biologically, we are designed to make assumptions that protect us.

Because of these assumptions, we take actions to protect ourselves, actions that ultimately dictate who we decide to be.

But!! I have to ask.

Is who you chose to be based on who you were meant to be? Or is it based on who you thought you needed to be in order to be accepted?

Don't be accepted, be who you are. Don't follow everyone's path. Make your own. Your path could very well be the next Lincoln, the next Churchill, Carnegie, Covey, Matteis, Cicero, Musk or whomever you want. You could be an inspiration. But only if you choose to be you first.

#apocketfulloflessons

[apocketfulloflessons]

I'd like to address a question based on what some assume and happily share without being in any way a part of. I often write about value, time, where to spend it, how to spend it, and who might actually deserve it! I pose questions frequently, and rarely give full answers. Mostly because you need to do you boo and I hope you will find what works for you in some of the words I share. That said, I do have some points that I will always advocate. One being this. Simple and complex, but completely true if you can follow me. I will attempt to break it down into simple components that tie together. 1) Our past, DOES not define us. It is who we were and what we've done. All of which has helped guide us to who we are today. Without it, we would not see the world, have the goals, or the plans we do now. 2) Who we are today is only because of who we were. Most people only know what they saw, and what they saw was a glimpse of what you were. Ironically, they always want to share it with anyone willing to listen, but they have only seen pieces of what was. Most don't know what is. They know pieces of what was. But they spread it like butter on a piece of bread 🤣. 3) Let's put 1 and 2 together. This one will be longer and broke down a little more because of. A) value, time, where to spend it, how to spend it, and who might actually deserve it!. A1)We value ourselves first. If we do, we only value those who value us. A2)Time- If we value ourselves first, we value our time. If we value our time, we only give out time to those we believe deserve that time. A3)Where to spend it- If we value ourselves, we value time. If we value time, we spend it on those deserving of. Those we consider deserving understand that who we are is only possible because of who we were. So they value who we are, not who we were. A4) How to spend it- Time is only now, the next moment may not come. So spend it like it's your last. Spend it on those that love who you are now. Not on those who hear who you were from those who saw a part of what you've done. The ones that love who you are now know that's what matters. They don't share or care about what was. They value what is and what could be. A5) If you haven't put A1 - A4 together. I'd ask you to think on this. Write it out. Ask and write the answer. The next time you trust someone, or like someone, or just believe in someone. Remember that you found that person as they were At that moment. You liked them, trusted them, believed in them as they were when you met them. They couldn't be what they are without what they were.(Now think about how many times you dismissed because of what others said was!) Next time someone tells you what they know, I'd ask why they felt the need to share it with me instead of focusing on what they shared. I don't want to know what you saw. I don't need to hear what you heard. I want to see what is, hear with my ears what's said and choose for myself what's next.

[apocketfulloflessons]

In 1861, Great Expectations was published. The author was Charles Dickens. A quote from that book has always stood out to me. "Ask no questions, and you'll be told no lies" For a lifetime, that quote has been the reason for so many questions to follow. For me at least. If you value time, you ask questions. If you understand the value of time. You immediately dismiss those that answer them dishonestly. If you understand time. You value those that give you theirs. If you give time freely to those you value, you see who they are and what they are truly worth in the least amount of time possible. So, I have to wonder. Do we avoid a question to avoid a lie. Or ask a question to avoid wasting time seeking the truth? People tell lies and truths about themselves and those around them in the same breath. Unfortunately, most of the time they don't see it, realize it, know it, or even mean to do it. In fact, all too often they are oblivious and still learning themselves. Regardless of intentions. The scale will always lean towards one side. More or less value. You have to choose what to do with it. Do you waste your time figuring out what happened? Spend time disproving words or history? Justify? Answer? The list is endless. Or vest your time in things of value or people that already value yours? The past is gone! The problem already happened! The lie was already told! The person already made a choice, the house sold, the promotion was won or lost and so on. No matter what. IT IS ALREADY DONE. So don't waste time on what's already done. Listen! Watch! Examine! Then let the scale fall where it does. You know what to do from there.

[apocketfulloflessons]

So many people in the world look at those around them and worry about where they came from. What's their past, what have they done, who have they been around?

This line of thinking is a blessing for the one being looked at, and a curse for the one looking.

The one being looked at has a past, we ALL do. That same person is going somewhere. Every part of that past has made them who they are today and helped establish where they plan to go.

The one looking is cursed. They're looking at where someone came from and not where they're going. The reality is, where you're going is more important then where you've been.

When you meet someone, you like them for who they are in that moment. You trust them because of who they are in that moment. You believe in them because of what you see in them now.

BUT!! You pass judgment because of who they were?

But didn't You liked them for who they are!

And isn't who they are only possible because of who they were?

But you dismissed them for who they were? Feel stupid yet? You probably should.

The one being looked at is blessed. They get to avoid being around someone who can't live in the moment or see the path ahead. The one looking is completely cursed because they will never be able to move forward. They only see what's already happened, not what it created or where it can go!

If the one being looked at loves themselves first and spands every day learning from who they were to build a better who they are. They will never think twice about the onlookers judgment. They don't have time to waste on the past and they know it. #apocketfulloflessons

[apocketfulloflessons]

Love me some Marcus Aurelius. The last of the 5 good Emperors of Rome. Also adopted (so not next in line by blood) and stoic philosopher. He wrote "You have seen that: now look at this. Do not trouble yourself, keep yourself simple. Someone does wrong? He does wrong to himself. Has something happened to you? Fine. All that happens has been fated by the whole from the beginning and spun for your own destiny. In sum, life is short: make your gain from the present moment with right reason and justice. Keep sober and relaxed." Stick with me! I say this to offer reference to what comes next. Next: We spend a lot of time trying to figure out simple things, or things that really don't matter. Things that stop us from moving forward or achieving or goals. Maybe even things that distract us from focusing on what matters! We ask why a thing happened? Why a person lied? Why is someone so confused? Why not ask another line of questions? Why does it matter? Will asking why get us closer to where we want to be? Will that lie stop us from moving forward? The most likely case is. That lie, affects us in no way. That thing that happened, doesn't stop us from getting what we want. That person that's confused has nothing to do with us and what we want. So why does it matter? Who cares? The time we spend focusing on what happened, who lied, who's confused and so on. It is extremely valuable time that could have been spent moving closer to what we want and need. If that's not enough, think about it like this. If you tell a lie about something or someone. Do you really think they lose sleep trying to figure out the why? Or do they write you off and move on without loosing sleep? If something happens to someone successful. Do you think they care why it happened? Or do they immediately figure out how to solve the problem and move forward? If someone is confused in a class of 300. Do you think the instructor stops the class and fixes that one problem? Or does the instructor keep going for the 299 that get it and expects that one confused soul to ask questions on their own? Reality check sunshine! The world will not stop revolving for one person! Time will not stop because one thing happened! One lie will not dictate the end of the universe! The world keeps spinning, time keeps moving forward, and the universe is still here. So maybe, instead of focusing on why someone lied, why a thing happened, or why someone is lost? We invite ourselves to ask, why does it matter? Will asking why get us closer to where we want to be? Will that lie stop us from moving forward? Things happen, people do things, people say things. YOU CANNOT CHANGE THAT! YOU CAN, HOWEVER, CHOOSE WHERE TO PUT YOUR TIME. Personally, I'd suggest you put it somewhere that moves you closer to where you want to be. You matter to you, so do you boo, don't worry about anything that doesn't get you where you want to be. Just a thought 👍!! #apocketfulloflessons

[apocketfulloflessons]

Building the life you want starts with building you. Knowing yourself allows you to know your passion, knowing your passion can be that passion project. Find what works for you and don't die in the box of wish I would've on your way out.