#shareable

[sugarwithteeth]

[yourplayersaidwhat]

"I am addressing God."

-A newbie who doesn't know how to use the word "OOC" when talking to our DM

[forsaken-dawn]

not all arms that open are safe to rest in.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

This was my very first action my very first time playing dnd

Player: I'd like to look around the room, see what I can notice.

DM: Roll for investigation, please.

Player: ...Total of 0.

DM: You notice that the room has a floor.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

"Best I can do is worms"

- our warlock, about to cast Infestation

[yourplayersaidwhat]

“JESUS CHRIST IS NOT CANON IN OUR WORLD. I REPEAT: JESUS CHRIST IS NOT CANON”

- the dm after saying “jesus christ” as an npc and realizing their mistake

[yourplayersaidwhat]

"Your 32 persuasion check doesn't mean shit to a 5 ton carnivorous lizard that can breathe lightning who sees you as a home intruder. Now make me a dexterity saving throw."

-our DM, curing a player of horny bard syndrome.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

“In character, what’s your character’s sexuality?”

Sorcerer: Out of your league.

Bard: The bit.

Warlock: Toxic yuri.

Bloodhunter: Married to the job.