Sex negativity is also important to express?
I just wanna start a conversation:
I’ve seen some posts by sex repulsed asexuals get flooded with hate for being sex negative. Often these posts are jokes about how weird/gross sex sounds as a concept if you don’t have a biological arousal reaction to it. Or talking about the downsides and dangers of sex/dating and how they’re glad they don’t have to deal with it. Or just saying they hate sex and never wanna do it. Either way they often get comments about it being sex negative and shaming allosexual people.
Isn’t sex negativity, in the sense of expressing misgivings or a generally not positive outlook on sex a necessary part of cultivating an honest and non-judgmental view around sex? Everyone should be able to share their experience. I mean, (on tumblr and very leftist spaces) it is very socially acceptable to gush about sex/sexuality as a super empowering, joyful, necessary part of society. On tumblr especially kink culture, and the normalization of more traditionally taboo sexual content is idolized.
People who don’t engage in it are asked things like “are you religious or something.” Or otherwise interrogated or pressured about losing their virginity. (Again, in very progressive circles. It is the opposite in the conservative world/wider society.)
But if you say you never want to have sex, or don’t like sex, or don’t want to engage with it and express that openly it is sex negativity/shaming?
It feels like Conservatove sex negativity has, in the extremes, been replaced by a toxic kind of sec positivity that positions sex as the single most important experience you can have.
Some people don’t wanna hear about it/see it. And in American culture sexuality in media, advertising, and fan spaces are hyper prevalent. Sex repulsion is an important part of how many asexual people experience life. And other sexualities, like gay people, aren’t expected to fill their posts about being glad they don’t deal with heterosexual culture with qualifiers to validate straight people.
I know what the response might be: “If you are in a public space (including the internet) you know you will be exposed to other people. Other people aren’t responsible for your Icks.” And I get that, and agree. But it goes both ways. In the same way that people will express sexual enthusiasm, and they don’t deserve to have “what about me!” Flooding their comments. Other people experience non positive feelings about sex all their lives and deserve to be able to freely share those without others trying to correct, fix, or shame them.
A fair, open, and balanced view on sex requires openness to all kinds of experiences. Including the negative.