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she/her, aroace, destiel

[memorycycle]

hush little baby dont you cry. mamas gonna buy you a big horse fly. and if that big horse fly dont fly. mamas gonna buy you another horse fly

[memorycycle]

[club mix] another horse fly. another horse fly

[fairycosmos]

good morning to the beaten and the damned only

[beansfrombeans]

[geyfrog]

*puts my hand on your shoulder* Don’t worry, I have your back. We’re gonna turn this crisis into a crwaswas

[pisshandkerchief]

"I'm sweating like a pig": scientifically innacurate (pigs don't sweat), mean (kind of implies you think pigs are gross :( not cool dawg)

"I'm sweating like a motherfucker: realistic. you probably would sweat if you fucked someone's mother. implies you've got game

[abba-enthusiast]

The three to four hours of dilly dallying after waking up are really starting to interfere with my uni coursework

[abba-enthusiast]

Somebody call the dilly dallying police, I’m back on my DETRIMENTAL bullshit

[spiribia]

when enkidu dies Gilgamesh covers his face, veiling it “like a bride”. Haha (sudden low voice through gritted teeth) the ancient Mesopotamians are running circles around us. I need you to get your ass on the field and give me your best yaoi or we can kiss these quarter finals goodbye

[vaporwavesimulator]

any of you ever stand with your hands kinda touching together sorta like this

[lazypoststhings]

[vaporwavesimulator]

you’ll be reduced down to a single atom once im done with you

[kiki-or-bouba]

This post is: Bouba

[real-language-facts]

elephant is actually spinach for "the ephant" but that's not true

[wajb]

ragebaiting lemonade stand owner with one simple order

[vollkornbot]

Mit der Erfindung der Sprachnachricht ist es endlich gelungen, alle Nachteile des Telefonates mit den Nachteilen einer Textnachricht zu kombinieren.

[orcboxer]

the unenlightened man of the flesh, upon seeing a voluptuous baddie: this makew my dick hard

the intellectual pervert: this make my BRAIN hard

[fakesleepwalking]

phone in bed can range from comforting to mundane but phone in parked car will have you feeling like you've never done anything right in your entire life

[nnebuchadnezzar]

in class and we were told to pull up chatgpt on our laptops to experiment with and the guy in front of me pulled up a deli menu and started looking at sandwiches

[cimicherrychanga]

imagine your neighborhood had a Notorious Van because the art airbrushed on it isnt like a cool lightning wizard or unicorn or whatever, but instead a bunch of dicks. everyone knows the van with the penises. and the person who owns and drives it is this lesbian who knooows her cars the talk of the town and loves it. and you know Of her but now, at this random house party, you get introduced to her for the first time and ur like ohhhh THATS the dick van dyke

[kianamaiart]

anime...

[killrockstar]

man voice Wow ive never met a girl who listens to music before. hey are you gonna eat that mouse btw.

[thepoisonroom]

she asks me what dr pepper tastes like and i say not everything tastes like something else