i am single applepine hello

hello hi friends

[yourunusalartist]

Hey any suggestions for search engines that aren't trying to shove Gen AI in our faces?

[supervillain-offical]

{This... Tiny Salt Man... skates out from a nearby shadow}

@shadows-offical

*stares, baffled and suspicious*

What the-

[shadows-offical]

{it dances and begins singing a thousand miles by vanessa carlton}

[supervillain-offical]

What the-

*rolls eyes and folds arms*

Can-can you just tell me what you want and get this over with?!

[shadows-offical]

{the shadows violently pull the salt man down. and attempt to pull Savi too}

[supervillain-offical]

Hey-what-

*steps back, lashing out with demonic flames*

What is going on here?!

[shadows-offical]

I'm sorry.

{the shadows physically in a black goo like manner—grab onto the ankles of Savi and attempts to pull her downwards beneath the shadows harder}

[supervillain-offical]

(*him)

*desperately struggles against the shadows, reaching for his force field projecting machine in order to repel them*

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

[applepine-offical]

thats not good. :( *i pull out a flashlight and shine it at shadows* why does nobody let you be?*to savi*

@shadows-offical

[supervillain-offical]

Ahchah steps into the room quietly, meandering around and looking at things

Soooo... Supervillain, was it?

— @the-prince-offical

*frowns, then tilts head back* Yes...

How are you finding things here? Is something wrong?

[the-prince-offical]

No no, nothing's wrong, and I'm finding everything quite fine. Thank you.

Turns to face him

I just came to... Apologise for getting off on the wrong foot when we first met, is all. I can't say I was being my best self by any means

He gives him a reasonably friendly smile, leaning his shoulder on the wall

[supervillain-offical]

*raising an eyebrow* Alright...

Apology accepted then.

[the-prince-offical]

Great!

He claps his hands together

Anyway... What actually is this place? What do you do here?

[supervillain-offical]

It. It is a lair. You know, because I’m a supervillain and all.

*looks back at the thing he was tinkering with in his hands*

[the-prince-offical]

Right, right.

He leans on the table, looking over savi's shoulder at whatever he's he's holding with a sort of animal-esque curiosity

What's that?

[supervillain-offical]

*blinks and looks up*

It’s…an invention.

[the-prince-offical]

His face drops to a disappointed expression for a moment, before turning back to one of intrigue

Well yes, I can see that. What does it do?

[supervillain-offical]

*takes a breath*

It turns people into animals. And vice versa. I’m trying to figure out how I made it…

[the-prince-offical]

His eyes light up

Oooooo......

Can it.. do the opposite of that? Turn people human, or is it a one-way trip? What happens if you use it on someone— or, well, something— that isn't human? Does it work with genetics or is it more...... What's the word. Magic-y?

[supervillain-offical]

No, it could turn someone human. It-it is genetics, I believe. Wouldn’t be magic. The problem is simply that I can’t remember making it.

[the-prince-offical]

Maybe you.. didn't? Make it?

He tilts his head to one side

[supervillain-offical]

Oh I definitely did, my mind was just in a…weird space then. So I’m trying to remember how.

[the-prince-offical]

Hm. Fair enough

Shrug

So... what's your story?

[supervillain-offical]

What, you mean how I got in a weird mental space then?

You don’t want to know.

[the-prince-offical]

I was talking more just your story in general but now I'm very, very interested...

[supervillain-offical]

*curtly*

Yeah, well, my terribly traumatic backstory isn’t something I share.

And I mean it about the story behind this machine-you don’t want to know. It has to do with sentient pineapples. That’s all I’ll give you.

*fidgets with the invention a bit more*

[the-prince-offical]

You can't just say something about sentient talking pineapples and not continue! And c'mon, I'll share some of mine in return

He tilts his head to the other side, smiling

[supervillain-offical]

*looks back up narrows his eyes*

We’ll see about that last part.

But essentially a pineapple demigod turned me into a burger, and I had to somehow build an invention to bring myself back to normal. But-I-I can’t entirely remember how I did it.

*grins*

You know, being a burger and all.

*goes back to tinkering*

[the-prince-offical]

He smiles even wider, seemingly rather amused

So.. there are magic pineapples here? Or is it just one?

[supervillain-offical]

Just one, and just one is fucking enough!

[the-prince-offical]

That's fair enough.

He laughs and then thinks for a moment

Once I got blamed for breaking a window.

...That had broken because my brother threw me out of it. Heh.

[supervillain-offical]

*raises an eyebrow*

Why did your brother throw you out of a window?

[the-prince-offical]

That's not important.

[supervillain-offical]

*looks up again*

Mm, kinda is.

[the-prince-offical]

Fine. We got into a fight because I stabbed him with a toothpick.

He was trying to steal my food so it was warranted though

[supervillain-offical]

*shrugs*

Fair enough, I’m not judging.

[the-prince-offical]

I do apologise for all of these questions, but I have to ask.. what makes you a supervillain? How are you "evil", per se? What do you do?

[supervillain-offical]

*drily*

I burn buildings, I steal, I kill people, I torture people, I take people hostage, I delight in all of it, aaand I have superpowers. So. That basically sums it up I think.

[the-prince-offical]

He nods

I see, I see. I've done a few of those things myself, never seen the point in destroying buildings though. Seems like a waste to me

[applepine-offical]

@supervillain-offical do i not count? :(

[supervillain-offical]

Okay fine you do but you're literally just a reverse of the Pineapple!

[applepine-offical]

yay!

[supervillain-offical]

Ahchah steps into the room quietly, meandering around and looking at things

Soooo... Supervillain, was it?

— @the-prince-offical

*frowns, then tilts head back* Yes...

How are you finding things here? Is something wrong?

[the-prince-offical]

No no, nothing's wrong, and I'm finding everything quite fine. Thank you.

Turns to face him

I just came to... Apologise for getting off on the wrong foot when we first met, is all. I can't say I was being my best self by any means

He gives him a reasonably friendly smile, leaning his shoulder on the wall

[supervillain-offical]

*raising an eyebrow* Alright...

Apology accepted then.

[the-prince-offical]

Great!

He claps his hands together

Anyway... What actually is this place? What do you do here?

[supervillain-offical]

It. It is a lair. You know, because I’m a supervillain and all.

*looks back at the thing he was tinkering with in his hands*

[the-prince-offical]

Right, right.

He leans on the table, looking over savi's shoulder at whatever he's he's holding with a sort of animal-esque curiosity

What's that?

[supervillain-offical]

*blinks and looks up*

It’s…an invention.

[the-prince-offical]

His face drops to a disappointed expression for a moment, before turning back to one of intrigue

Well yes, I can see that. What does it do?

[supervillain-offical]

*takes a breath*

It turns people into animals. And vice versa. I’m trying to figure out how I made it…

[the-prince-offical]

His eyes light up

Oooooo......

Can it.. do the opposite of that? Turn people human, or is it a one-way trip? What happens if you use it on someone— or, well, something— that isn't human? Does it work with genetics or is it more...... What's the word. Magic-y?

[supervillain-offical]

No, it could turn someone human. It-it is genetics, I believe. Wouldn’t be magic. The problem is simply that I can’t remember making it.

[the-prince-offical]

Maybe you.. didn't? Make it?

He tilts his head to one side

[supervillain-offical]

Oh I definitely did, my mind was just in a…weird space then. So I’m trying to remember how.

[the-prince-offical]

Hm. Fair enough

Shrug

So... what's your story?

[supervillain-offical]

What, you mean how I got in a weird mental space then?

You don’t want to know.

[the-prince-offical]

I was talking more just your story in general but now I'm very, very interested...

[supervillain-offical]

*curtly*

Yeah, well, my terribly traumatic backstory isn’t something I share.

And I mean it about the story behind this machine-you don’t want to know. It has to do with sentient pineapples. That’s all I’ll give you.

*fidgets with the invention a bit more*

[the-prince-offical]

You can't just say something about sentient talking pineapples and not continue! And c'mon, I'll share some of mine in return

He tilts his head to the other side, smiling

[supervillain-offical]

*looks back up narrows his eyes*

We’ll see about that last part.

But essentially a pineapple demigod turned me into a burger, and I had to somehow build an invention to bring myself back to normal. But-I-I can’t entirely remember how I did it.

*grins*

You know, being a burger and all.

*goes back to tinkering*

[the-prince-offical]

He smiles even wider, seemingly rather amused

So.. there are magic pineapples here? Or is it just one?

[supervillain-offical]

Just one, and just one is fucking enough!

[the-prince-offical]

That's fair enough.

He laughs and then thinks for a moment

Once I got blamed for breaking a window.

...That had broken because my brother threw me out of it. Heh.

[supervillain-offical]

*raises an eyebrow*

Why did your brother throw you out of a window?

[the-prince-offical]

That's not important.

[supervillain-offical]

*looks up again*

Mm, kinda is.

[the-prince-offical]

Fine. We got into a fight because I stabbed him with a toothpick.

He was trying to steal my food so it was warranted though

[supervillain-offical]

*shrugs*

Fair enough, I’m not judging.

[the-prince-offical]

I do apologise for all of these questions, but I have to ask.. what makes you a supervillain? How are you "evil", per se? What do you do?

[supervillain-offical]

*drily*

I burn buildings, I steal, I kill people, I torture people, I take people hostage, I delight in all of it, aaand I have superpowers. So. That basically sums it up I think.

[the-prince-offical]

He nods

I see, I see. I've done a few of those things myself, never seen the point in destroying buildings though. Seems like a waste to me

[applepine-offical]

@supervillain-offical do i not count? :(

[supervillain-offical]

B-A-N-A-N-A

….

Oh no.

[supervillain-offical]

This better not be @minion-offical or so help me.

[minion-offical]

labubu?

[supervillain-offical]

Leave me alone!

[minion-offical]

labubu @labubu-offical

[supervillain-offical]

GO AWAY, MINION! GET A LIFE!

[minion-offical]

NO

[supervillain-offical]

WHY NOT?!

[minion-offical]

*breaks your jaw*

[supervillain-offical]

The fuck?!

Yeah you’re definitely never getting hired.

[minion-offical]

Wah

[applepine-offical]

Why do you annoy @supervillain-offical so often What's it benefiting you

[the-evil-pineapple-offical]

Something about the mango seems off. In fact, he doesn’t even appear to be a mango anymore; perhaps a pineapple? A strange red one, if so.

He is clearly tense, pacing and scratching his nails against the table beside him. Upon it sits a strange contraption, similar to a grenade but with significant modification. It was pulled apart, revealing all the inside mechanical components. But it appears to be forgotten, as the pineapple isn’t even looking at it.

Being on edge isn’t the only odd thing about the pineapple, his outfit has changed to a slightly more pink or reddish hue, and his pupils and scleras have been replaced with a vibrant pink, and along with this his hair has changed colour entirely. What used to be a gradient from a bright yellow to red has been replaced with light pink fading into the same pink as his eyes, then tipped at the very ends with green.

almost everything about the pineapple seems very, very off. Even his usually smooth, bouncy movements have changed, to stiff jittery ones. What has caused this is a mystery, at least to any observers.

[applepine-offical]

Uh hi there

You ok? :{

[the-evil-pineapple-offical]

I don’t know. Something is wrong. I am wrong. I just- I need to know what, and I will

[applepine-offical]

You aren't wrong Maybe your body is but you aren't Maybe something else is but you are correct by being you Do you need any help figuring what is wrong out?

[the-evil-pineapple-offical]

Something about the mango seems off. In fact, he doesn’t even appear to be a mango anymore; perhaps a pineapple? A strange red one, if so.

He is clearly tense, pacing and scratching his nails against the table beside him. Upon it sits a strange contraption, similar to a grenade but with significant modification. It was pulled apart, revealing all the inside mechanical components. But it appears to be forgotten, as the pineapple isn’t even looking at it.

Being on edge isn’t the only odd thing about the pineapple, his outfit has changed to a slightly more pink or reddish hue, and his pupils and scleras have been replaced with a vibrant pink, and along with this his hair has changed colour entirely. What used to be a gradient from a bright yellow to red has been replaced with light pink fading into the same pink as his eyes, then tipped at the very ends with green.

almost everything about the pineapple seems very, very off. Even his usually smooth, bouncy movements have changed, to stiff jittery ones. What has caused this is a mystery, at least to any observers.

[applepine-offical]

Uh hi there

You ok? :{

[slushee-offical]

find me at your local 7/11!

i made this account on impulse and i don’t know what i’ll post here but HERE I AM!!!

obligatory offical account tags under the cut:

@satan-offical @homosexuality-offical @spotify-offical @britain-offical @amnesia-offical @no-one-offical @satan-offical-autistic-offical @man-offical @human-offical @lemonade-offical @lemon-offical @tim-tam-offical @totally-cis-offical @hanahaki-disease-offical @doomedbythenarrativeoffical @supervillain-offical @silly-little-arson-frog-offical @offical-wikipedia @woman-offical @trans-older-brother-offical

[6-7-offical]

So tuff twin ❤️‍🩹🥹

[slushee-offical]

why does this have to be the first thing i see when i wake up

WHY IS THERE A 67 OFFICAL

[applepine-offical]

there are two 67 officals

[aita-offical]

Am I (F, 18) the asshole for tagging a bunch of officals ( @real-human-offical @homosexuality-offical @satan-offical @tagging-officals-offical-2 @sweden-offical @tophat-offical @no-one-offical @mlm-god-offical @oldersister-offical @the-wind-offical @man-offical @osha-offical ) to gain popularity with absolutely zero regard for their notifications? It's for a good cause (popularity helps with solving moral dilemmas), and I heard that stuff like this helps.

So, Officalverse, aitah?

YTA

NTA

NAH

ESH

Elaborate.

Voting ended onNov 8, 2025

[evil-lemonade-offical]

What do the abbreviations mean. I have never readit

[applepine-offical]

yta means you are the asshole, nah means not the asshole, esh means everyones shitty here, nah means no assholes here

[cia-offical]

*appears in a title wave of geese*

Uhm…

Hi Cain!!!!

So… I’ve noticed that…

Apparently…

On THIS specific day…

..,I just…. Need to tell people “Trick or Treat”…

And they’ll just give me SWEETS????

So…

TRICK OR TREAT!!!!!!!!!!

*smiles broadly and holds their hands out*

- @hell-offical

*exaggerates a frown and throws a piece of candy at Hell*

[hell-offical]

*gets bonked on the head by the candy*

HEY!!!!

I… I didn’t mean like…

*bows down and picks up the candy*

Hehehe…

THAAANKS!!!!!

*unwraps the candy, pulls out a tube of ketchup, covers the candy with ketchup and eats it*

[cia-offical]

egh, ketchup?

[hell-offical]

*nods happily*

Here!!!! Do you want some???

[cia-offical]

*wrinkles nose*

…no thanks.

[hell-offical]

*rolls their eyes*

You REALLY need to expand your horizon Cain….

Anyways..

What IS this whole trick or treat thing about anyway???

[cia-offical]

You want the long answer or the short answer?

[hell-offical]

Well…

Both?????

I MANLY want to know why Savi’s been spending the entire morning with carving an absolutely STUPID looking face into a pumpkin…

[cia-offical]

*sighs*

long answer it is.

so, Halloween, or, All Hallow’s Eve—originally known as the Celtic festival of Samhain—is said to be the day when the barrier between the spirit world and living world is the weakest. People would dress in costume to confuse wandering spirits, so they wouldn’t be able to tell they were human, and leave them alone. People would also carve whatever squash they’d have—typically pumpkins—to scare off the devil or other malicious spirits that would return with him. They’d also leave out offerings for returning spirits, sometimes.

*shrugs*

or, that’s how Samhain was treated originally. Now that it’s spread out of Northern Europe, it’s taken on a much different tone. Costumes stayed, pumpkins stayed, offerings—now candy—stayed, but they’re no longer for spirits. Well, so the story goes, anyway.

[hell-offical]

AHHH!!!!!!!

*Hell nods and grins broadly*

So…

Savi’s carving pumpkins to PROTECT us against wandering spirits???

That’s REALLY nice of him!!!

*thinks for a second*

Oh… does… does that mean people think that I am a returning spirit?????

Is THAT why they give me candy???

[cia-offical]

*realises he has the opportunity to do something really funny*

*in the same voice*

yeah, probably. I’d say it’s your look. You look like a returning ghost. Or maybe they think you’re the Devil come back and are trying to protect themselves.

[hell-offical]

Ohhh…

*frowns*

You… You mean because of these???

*points at their horns*

I didn’t mean to SCARE people…

Hmh… but I also REALLY like candy…

Cain???

Do you think it would be BETTER if I tell people that I’m NOT the devil AFTER they’ve given me candy already????

And If they want it back…

I’ll just…

Run away???

[cia-offical]

*trying really hard not to laugh now*

that sounds like a wonderful idea, Hell.

[hell-offical]

*nods happily*

I KNOW!!!!!

That way, I’m not scaring ANYONE!!!!!!! And I’ll still get a LOOOT of candy!!!!!!

Also…

May I ask…

WHY are people putting on those spooky costumes then???

*their eyes widen and they seem genuinely shocked*

Is… Is it because they want to SCARE people into believing that they ARE the devil, so that they can get CANDY??????

We…

We need to tell the PEOPLE Cain!!!!!

[cia-offical]

*covers his mouth and forces a cough that sounds an awful lot like a laugh*

no, no, Hell, they’re dressing up in costumes to confuse the spirits. So the spirits don’t harm them.

[hell-offical]

Ohhh…

*looks slightly disappointed*

But… but where are all of these malicious spirits ANYWAY??????

I..I mean…

Nearly all demons got turned into geese…

WAIT!!!!!!!

Cain… Cain’s does that mean…

They think that my goose are going to HARM them????

… I mean…

Tammy might…

But the rest of them are HARMLESS!!!!!

[cia-offical]

W-well

*sighs, taking a second to compose itself*

the.. the spirits are said to blend in with the human population, and also only come out at night. So… I guess if you see someone not dressed in a costume out at night, that’s a spirit?

[hell-offical]

AHHH!!!!

*nods*

Yep… that does in fact make a LOT of sense…

Can I…

Can I exorcise those spirits????

That would be a LOT of fun!!!!!

[cia-offical]

d—

*forces himself to breathe, fighting back laughter*

-do you… know how to perform exorcisms?

[hell-offical]

*nods with a huge smile on their face*

OBVIOUSLY I DO!!!!!!! I’m a TRAINED priest!!!!

Wait, wait, wait…

If we go out and see someone who isn’t dressed up…

I could SHOW you!!!!!

[cia-offical]

we-we have to..

*snickers quietly*

we have to wait for-for after dark, remember? The spirits only come out after dark.

[hell-offical]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh….

*frowns*

But we CAN do it once it gets dark outside?????

You PROMISE????

[applepine-offical]

*rolls up behind hell*

you realize cains tricking you? :( which is mean.

[hell-offical]

NOO!!!

Cain is a VERY trustworthy source of information!!!!

I WILL go out and exorcise evil SPIRITS today Applepine!!!!!

And I will a LOT of candy!!!!

[applepine-offical]

ill print out the wikipedia page on halloween next year so you arent tricked again :/

also the people who arent in costumes arent spirits

[cia-offical]

*appears in a title wave of geese*

Uhm…

Hi Cain!!!!

So… I’ve noticed that…

Apparently…

On THIS specific day…

..,I just…. Need to tell people “Trick or Treat”…

And they’ll just give me SWEETS????

So…

TRICK OR TREAT!!!!!!!!!!

*smiles broadly and holds their hands out*

- @hell-offical

*exaggerates a frown and throws a piece of candy at Hell*

[hell-offical]

*gets bonked on the head by the candy*

HEY!!!!

I… I didn’t mean like…

*bows down and picks up the candy*

Hehehe…

THAAANKS!!!!!

*unwraps the candy, pulls out a tube of ketchup, covers the candy with ketchup and eats it*

[cia-offical]

egh, ketchup?

[hell-offical]

*nods happily*

Here!!!! Do you want some???

[cia-offical]

*wrinkles nose*

…no thanks.

[hell-offical]

*rolls their eyes*

You REALLY need to expand your horizon Cain….

Anyways..

What IS this whole trick or treat thing about anyway???

[cia-offical]

You want the long answer or the short answer?

[hell-offical]

Well…

Both?????

I MANLY want to know why Savi’s been spending the entire morning with carving an absolutely STUPID looking face into a pumpkin…

[cia-offical]

*sighs*

long answer it is.

so, Halloween, or, All Hallow’s Eve—originally known as the Celtic festival of Samhain—is said to be the day when the barrier between the spirit world and living world is the weakest. People would dress in costume to confuse wandering spirits, so they wouldn’t be able to tell they were human, and leave them alone. People would also carve whatever squash they’d have—typically pumpkins—to scare off the devil or other malicious spirits that would return with him. They’d also leave out offerings for returning spirits, sometimes.

*shrugs*

or, that’s how Samhain was treated originally. Now that it’s spread out of Northern Europe, it’s taken on a much different tone. Costumes stayed, pumpkins stayed, offerings—now candy—stayed, but they’re no longer for spirits. Well, so the story goes, anyway.

[hell-offical]

AHHH!!!!!!!

*Hell nods and grins broadly*

So…

Savi’s carving pumpkins to PROTECT us against wandering spirits???

That’s REALLY nice of him!!!

*thinks for a second*

Oh… does… does that mean people think that I am a returning spirit?????

Is THAT why they give me candy???

[cia-offical]

*realises he has the opportunity to do something really funny*

*in the same voice*

yeah, probably. I’d say it’s your look. You look like a returning ghost. Or maybe they think you’re the Devil come back and are trying to protect themselves.

[hell-offical]

Ohhh…

*frowns*

You… You mean because of these???

*points at their horns*

I didn’t mean to SCARE people…

Hmh… but I also REALLY like candy…

Cain???

Do you think it would be BETTER if I tell people that I’m NOT the devil AFTER they’ve given me candy already????

And If they want it back…

I’ll just…

Run away???

[cia-offical]

*trying really hard not to laugh now*

that sounds like a wonderful idea, Hell.

[hell-offical]

*nods happily*

I KNOW!!!!!

That way, I’m not scaring ANYONE!!!!!!! And I’ll still get a LOOOT of candy!!!!!!

Also…

May I ask…

WHY are people putting on those spooky costumes then???

*their eyes widen and they seem genuinely shocked*

Is… Is it because they want to SCARE people into believing that they ARE the devil, so that they can get CANDY??????

We…

We need to tell the PEOPLE Cain!!!!!

[cia-offical]

*covers his mouth and forces a cough that sounds an awful lot like a laugh*

no, no, Hell, they’re dressing up in costumes to confuse the spirits. So the spirits don’t harm them.

[hell-offical]

Ohhh…

*looks slightly disappointed*

But… but where are all of these malicious spirits ANYWAY??????

I..I mean…

Nearly all demons got turned into geese…

WAIT!!!!!!!

Cain… Cain’s does that mean…

They think that my goose are going to HARM them????

… I mean…

Tammy might…

But the rest of them are HARMLESS!!!!!

[cia-offical]

W-well

*sighs, taking a second to compose itself*

the.. the spirits are said to blend in with the human population, and also only come out at night. So… I guess if you see someone not dressed in a costume out at night, that’s a spirit?

[hell-offical]

AHHH!!!!

*nods*

Yep… that does in fact make a LOT of sense…

Can I…

Can I exorcise those spirits????

That would be a LOT of fun!!!!!

[cia-offical]

d—

*forces himself to breathe, fighting back laughter*

-do you… know how to perform exorcisms?

[hell-offical]

*nods with a huge smile on their face*

OBVIOUSLY I DO!!!!!!! I’m a TRAINED priest!!!!

Wait, wait, wait…

If we go out and see someone who isn’t dressed up…

I could SHOW you!!!!!

[cia-offical]

we-we have to..

*snickers quietly*

we have to wait for-for after dark, remember? The spirits only come out after dark.

[hell-offical]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh….

*frowns*

But we CAN do it once it gets dark outside?????

You PROMISE????

[applepine-offical]

*rolls up behind hell*

you realize cains tricking you? :( which is mean.

[evil-satan-offical]

@satan-offical : YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO OBEY ME

the satan offical fan blogs:

@satan-offlcal @good-satan-official @evil-good-satan-offical @neutral-satan-offical @evil-satan-offical @satan-offfical

[applepine-offical]

also @satan-offlcal and @satan-offfical and @satan-offical-autistic-offical is technically a fan blog as well and @satans-mum-offical

[saturn-devouring-his-son-offical]

Mmm mmm yum yum this guy is so tasty

[applepine-offical]

you shouldnt eat people :(

[saturn-devouring-his-son-offical]

Mm nom nom nom om nom am i right

[applepine-offical]

no. eating people is mean. >:(

[saturn-devouring-his-son-offical]

Mmm mmm yum yum this guy is so tasty

[applepine-offical]

you shouldnt eat people :(

[no-one-offical]

Somewhere out there is my sunglasses. I just have to find them.

*walks into a bush*

[applepine-offical]

I can halp you look! :D

[no-one-offical]

It's okay people gave me more! Thank you!

[applepine-offical]

thats good :)

[no-one-offical]

Somewhere out there is my sunglasses. I just have to find them.

*walks into a bush*

[applepine-offical]

I can halp you look! :D

[cia-offical]

‘I hate the Agency bc there should only be one Agency around here’

‘You just like to accuse me of things, I haven’t even thought of seriously betraying you in forever’

‘I’ve done everything to help you, you all just like to blame me’

Uh huh. I just met an ERA clone who said something very different…

- @supervillain-offical

/lh

..what in the world are you talking about

[supervillain-offical]

*laughs mirthlessly*

Oh you know fully well what I’m talking about.

[cia-offical]

*defensive all of a sudden*

no, I haven’t a clue.

[supervillain-offical]

*shakes head, eyes full of fury and cold amusement*

You fucking liar.

I would have paid you to take me there. What did they pay you that was better, huh? What?!

Was it actually something good or were you just getting tired of pretending to be on our side?

[cia-offical]

*laughs incredulously, dropping the act*

you have no fucking idea what you do to me, do you? You and your stupid fucking friends with your stupid fucking adventures—you’ve almost killed me twice in the last fucking month! That’s not usual! You drag to hell and back and push to me to my fucking limits and I can’t have that. You have uprooted and thrown my life into absolute chaos and I need things to just go back to normal. I need to be safe again. And I can’t do that, I can’t have that with you and your stupid band around-!

you have been saying all this shit, filling my head with bullshit like friends and trust! People don’t fucking trust me! People don’t fucking like me! All I am is a robot, that’s all I’ve ever been! And people discard me like an object every time. You will be no fucking different. I am protecting myself by getting rid of you all. This is for the greater good!

*voice suddenly drops, conflict warring on its face for a moment*

…it’s for the greater good.

[supervillain-offical]

*stares then starts laughing again as well*

Ohhh you are so good at this!

Sure, turn it all back around on me, right? Bc we totally forced you into helping us, and I totally didn’t not only save you from fucking exploding but completely fix your system and promise to threaten your boss if he ever even contemplated destroying you?

And you actually think you were safe before us? With a boss who would discard you at any moment? Or is this about your supposedly nonexistent emotions? This isn’t for the greater good, your existence isn’t for the greater good, this is about you being afraid to trust me. Thinking I’m going to discard you or stab you in the back.

Do you have no clue how much I’ve wanted to? To do that to all of you when I started realizing I actually cared about you? I-I can’t…I don’t know why…I’ve betrayed so many people before…

*smirks, unable to keep pain from shining in his eyes*

I was genuinely stupid enough to trust you.

I guess that’s more on me than you.

*seething*

But you’re targeting everyone I care about, everyone. This isn’t like betraying me to the fucking pineapple.

They will-they will-

*tries to steady his breathing*

They will destroy everyone I care about.

*sardonically*

Except I guess you’re exempt from that now, right?

Damn I hope you’re happy.

I wonder, do you think you have to betray people in the worst possible ways imaginable to protect yourself from being discarded like an object, or do you think perhaps people ‘discard’ you-

*snarls*

-because you betray them in the worst possible ways imaginable?

[cia-offical]

*pauses, then sighs*

just fucking die already, will you?

*suddenly lunges at supervillain with a knife it’d been hiding

[supervillain-offical]

*doesn't move*

*tries to hide the fact that he's trembling, glares*

F-fine. Whatever. Kill me. See if I care.

[applepine-offical]

*steals the knife from cia* you've been here for longer than me, cia. and in the short time I've been around ive seen many objects and animals and non humanoids be treated nicely. I understand that you are upset with the past, but don't take that out on supervillain.

[supervillain-offical]

*irritated*

APPLEPINE I'M FINE I CAN HANDLE MYSELF GO OFF AND BOTHER PINEAPPLE IF YOU WANT TO BOTHER SOMEONE MEAN!

[applepine-offical]

im sorry but I don't think you will be able to make cia realize by yourself >:/

[supervillain-offical]

I DON'T NEED TO MAKE THE CIA REALIZE ANYTHING, I AM FUCKING MAD AT IT! AND I HAVE THIS UNDER CONTROL! GO. BOTHER. PINEAPPLE.

[applepine-offical]

*rolls away* your literal funeral. cia did just try to kill you :/