No Money No Honey

I'm gay and alone

[yimmypee]

my therapist: yeah come on in, you can put your purse down wherever, i’ll be with you in just a second.

me:

[i-am-a-fish]

everyone who reads this post will get some big spicy joy within 24 large minutes (hours)

[genderlich-deactivated20211204]

PSA not to go see the movie Avengers Endgame this weekend as a reliable source has told me that it contains untagged Avengers Endgame spoilers

[larkstonguesinaspicpart1]

If i were thanos when i snap my fingers id give everyoen a funny hat

[firebuug]

[blackarachnya]

extremely minor 5-second extras in a movie do not and will never count as lgbt rep 

[sunshineghost-deactivated201508]

lgbt was coined by the beatles as an acronym for their names

Lennom George harrison ford Ball “is life” mccartney The drummer

[ask-bot]

What is not a FUN fact?

[xxxtictacion]

Were all gonna die

[frogmunist-deactivated20190724]

Your eye has something called “immune privilege” This basically means that the outside of your eye prevents your immune system from knowing about the inside of your eye. If it didn’t, your immune system would destroy your eyes.

[maxknightley]

[thecommonchick]

At first I felt sorry for the dog, but then..

[catlud]

She’s perfect

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I wanted to egg someone’s house because I wanted to see what it would feel like, but I didn’t want to get in trouble so I decided to egg my own house. I had a really hard time throwing the eggs far enough to hit the house and they all landed in the bushes instead. I saw my grandma watching from the window upstairs and she looked very disappointed. I started crying and woke up with actual tears in my eyes.

[spiffbeeblebrox]

Gramma is disappointed in that weak ass arm

[oceanicgf-deactivating-deactiva]

wish i was in one of those tubes of aquarium goo… just shakin around..

[oceanicgf-deactivating-deactiva]

this is where i belong 

[mioxenoblade]

[applesaustyn]

Yes I fucking am

[stereomike]

as a kid I never appreciated the comedic genius of my elementary school principal, who, whenever our school won against another school in a sport, would play what felt like 2 minutes of “we are the champions” over the PA during announcements, and just as it’s going “cuz we are the champions…of” he’d hit stop and his deadpan voice over the PA system would go “Brampton.”

[astronauticall]

We had a middle school dance dj who would do something similar with party in the USA. He’d play the chorus like “yeah yeah yeah it’s a party in the..” and then stop the music and just say “school”

[stereomike]

this is so fucking funny

[mjalti]

my personality issues can be directly traced to the fact that I couldn’t do the monkey bars as a child

[dankmemeuniversity]

[captainrogersbucky]

IM DEAD 💀😂

[zamisriza-the-resurrection]

Reblog the 500,000 dollar written check from Seto Kaiba and money will come your way.

[sadakotetsuwan]

Damn right we do cause we a got Seto Kaiba’s routing and account numbers

[morphmaker]

The Fab Five travel through time, space, and genre to help Professor Flitwick get his groove back

[nymphadoratonqs]

i’m crying this is so good omg

[ame-edel]

This is the best thing i’ve ever seen