24|Capricorn|She/Her/Herself Hallo hallo, one and all. Just another blog of some sad, sad nerd. Expect a lot of frilly things, art, writing, and Hetalia. Mostly Asakiku, lots and lots of Asakiku TWITTER: https://twitter.com/Crumpette91 LINKS BELOW
Fuck that post going around saying "you can have coffee in your story without justifying it :) you don't need to explain everything :)" I want, no, I DEMAND a fully researched ethnobotanical paper on every single food item in your work, if you don't explain to me where did potatoes come from in your fantasy setting or don't explain how the industry of coffee works over interstellar distances with full detail you are doing things wrong and I personally hate you and I hate your stupid story, fuck you
Why are your stupid little wizards and knights eating potato stew in your dumb European middle ages fantasy world. Where did they get potatoes from. Where is the center of domestication of potatoes, do you have a fantasy Andean civilization? What are the social and economic consequences of having such a calorie rich crop in cold climates. I don't care about "themes" or "enemies to lovers with found family", I didn't ask about that. Where does your idiot space captain gets their shitty coffee from. Is it imported from Earth? Are there coffee growing worlds? Is it an alien species replacement with the same name? What are the social consequences of that? Don't try to change the subject, I'll stop pointing the gun when I want, I'm trying to have a conversation here,
Leona: Vargas said he'd be late due to a staff meeting today, right. Perfect. There's a new formation I've been meaning to test out.
Leona: Once warmups are done, I'll divide 'em up into teams for some practice…
[Lilia pops out of the sky]
Lilia: Why, Leona, are you heading to Spelldrive practice now? You seem pretty chipper today.
Leona: Who's chipper, now? I'm actually feelin' terrible 'cause some annoying little guy's trying to yap at me.
Lilia: Hmm, was I mistaken? I thought you were all giddy, looking forward to your birthday party tomorrow.
Leona: No way. I ain't a kid.
Lilia: Kheeheehee, to me, you and everyone else are all mere children. By the way, Leona, could you help me search for something?
Lilia: I cannot find my PE jacket anywhere. I do vaguely recall removing it during PE class, but then…
Leona: You know I'm utterly beside myself that I can't stay and help, but I'm pretty swamped babysittin' my clubmates.
Leona: Sucks, but you'll hafta go find someone else to help. Though that might be harder to do than findin' the jacket itself.
[Leona leaves]
Lilia: There's no harm in admitting that he just wanted to rush to have fun at club… Gracious, he can't be honest with himself, can he?
[Savanaclaw Dorm – Lounge]
Leona: We got a ton done in today's practice. Bet once their coordination gets better, we'd even be able to use it for real matches.
Leona: It'll be a hassle, but I should butter Vargas up a bit to get more time for some scrimmages… Hm?
[Savanaclaw students clamour]
Leona: …Why's the lounge so loud? Another fight? Ugh, what a pain…
Leona: HEY, YOU LOT! WHAT'RE YOU ALL YAPPIN' FOR!?
Leona: Stop barkin' for no reason. None of you got anythin' better to do? …Yeah, that's right, shut your traps.
Leona: Geez, it always one thing or another with 'em. Always rompin' around… I'm just gonna jump in the shower and head back to my room.
[Savanaclaw Dorm – Leona's Room]
[door opens, Leona flops on bed]
Leona: Haaah, another day's hard work done. Finally, I can stretch out on my bed!'
[Savanaclaw Dorm – Leona's Room]
Leona: Now, where'd that book I got just the other day go? Thought I left it on the bedside table…
Leona: …It ain't here. Oh, right, I think he said he put it away on the shelf… Ah, there it is.
[magicks the book to fly into his hand]
Leona: Who'd've thought I'd make out of that second-hand book store in Foothill Town with a history book of the eastern lands. A pretty good find, if I do say so myself.
[flips page]
Leona: I've read a ton of books on ancient incantations before… But this one takes the cake in the number of unfamiliar words and phrases.
Leona: Makes me want to try decipherin' it even more. The words I recognize are… Snow, field, food, shortage…
Leona: I think I get it. Maybe this was written during a cold snap sometime in the past?
Leona: We covered this in History of Magic, but it's an entirely different thing to be able to read directly the thoughts of the people who lived through it. I'm eager to keep reading.
Leona: Hmm, this word here… In the tomes back home in the Sunset Savanna, I think it's used alongside the terms "salt" or "sleep."
Leona: But that wouldn't make sense here. Based on context clues… Sounds like they were working to preserve their food?
Leona: Which means this word here is probably a verb, not a noun. Sure hope it's in the dictionary.
[flips pages]
Leona: Here it is. Ahh, so it's a method of food preservation traditional in eastern culture. And it helped them survive the extreme cold conditions, huh.
Leona: …It's been a while since I found a real good book like that one. Kinda read the whole thing in one sitting before I even realized it.
Leona: Mm, it's getting' light out already. Don't think I'd be able to wake up in the morning if I went to sleep now anyway…
Leona: Pretty sure I got History of Magic first… Not like I'm gonna learn anything new at this point, and it's borin', to boot.
Leona: If I'm gonna get some shuteye, I'd rather be in bed, too. 'Sides, that was all independent study I just finished. I'm gonna reward myself with a good, hard snooze.
Leona: I'll turn off my alarm… Nevermind, I'll shut off my whole phone.
Leona: Perfect… Yaaaawn… Mm… …......Tch!
Leona: It's too bright! It's always like this when I try to sleep during the day. Ain't there any way I can sleep without bein' interrupted?
Leona: …Oh right, I'd gotten a survey.
[magicks the survey over to fly into his hand]
「Survey on Quality of Life Improvements for the Student Body」
Leona: Blackout curtains. Shutters are also acceptable.
Leona: Good enough. Not like I'm askin' for anythin' hard. Sure hope they fix it ASAP. ….Zzz.
[Savanaclaw Dorm – Leona's Room]
Leona: Mmm…
Leona: Nnnnmm…. ...Grrrrr…
Leona: Urgh… It's too bright… Based on the lighting… Guess it's about noon. Mm… Yaaaaawn.
Leona: Kinda got a hazy memory of bein' woken up in the middle of the night, but maybe I just imagined… Ah, nope, the stuff I left out last night's been put away.
Leona: Looks like Ruggie came by already. I really must not've wanted to get up.
Leona: Yaawn… I'm starvin'. Shame I gotta get up, but I guess I should leave the bed.
[brushes teeth]
Leona: That should be enough brushin' for the teeth to the right. Next I'll go for the ones in the back on the left…
Leona: Sigh… It always takes way too long to keep my fangs in good shape.
Leona: But as a carnivore, I gotta make sure my weapon of choice is sharp and polished.
[school bell rings]
Leona: …I can hear the school bell. If it's lunchtime now, then I should make it to my afternoon classes, at least.
Leona: I just had to wake up at a terrible time. If I had slept for 2-3 more hours, then all my classes woulda been over and done with.
[magicks his hair up]
Leona: Guess I'll wash my face next. And…
Leona: Tch, looks like I should shave today, too. I hate doin' it, but I end up hatin' it even more when I can feel how rough it gets.
Leona: First, I'll use magic for some warm water… That should be good enough. Now, where'd I put my razor? Ah, found it.
Leona: I'll touch up my eyebrows first. Then I'll rub shaving cream around my mouth…
Leona: That's good enough. After rinsing it all off, I'll apply some skin lotion… Guess I could use some milky lotion today, too.
Leona: Don't really care how I look, but I have a hard time sleepin' whenever my skin's feelin' rough.
Leona: I'll apply hair oil next. As a lion beastman, I definitely can't neglect takin' care of my mane.
Leona: Looks like there's no issues from the roots down to the tips. I'll rub in the leftover oil onto my ears…
Leona: As for makeup… Suppose I'll just draw in my eyebrows for now. Set the outline first, then…
Leona: If I fill in where it's missing, that'd make the scar stand out more.
Leona: Don't know which is better, fixin' it up, or doin' nothin'. Meh, doesn't matter, I guess. Not like anyone else can tell the difference.
[magicks his hair to usual set]
Leona: Now then, next…
Leona: …Nah, this should be enough, right? Not like I need to actually run into anyone if I don't leave my room.
Leona: I should just consider today a wash and just crawl back into bed… Hm? I can hear footsteps getting closer.
[knock, knock]
Leona: Who's there at a time like this…?
[opens door, Savanaclaw students come in]
Leona: What's with you all, barging in like this? [Jack speaks] …What, you couldn't reach me?
Leona: Oh yeah, I'd turned off my phone. So? Something so big happen that you needed me specifically, or somethin'?
[Ruggie speaks]
Leona: …Huh? You can't celebrate my birthday if I stay in my room, so hurry and get to class?
Leona: Heh, what, you all came all the way to my room just to say that?
Leona: We woulda probably passed by each other in the dorm at some point, and yet… Heh, what a novel buncha guys.
Leona: Yeah, yeah, thanks to how rowdy y'all are, I'm feelin' wide awake. Guess I can head to school, then.
[Savanaclaw students cheer]
[Main Street]
[Savanaclaw students chatter around Leona]
Lilia: There you are, Leona. It's almost noon, you know… Hm? Well, aren't you surrounded by a lively pack of schoolkids today.
Leona: Shut it, Lilia. These guys invited themselves to join me. Not my decision.
Lilia: Kheeheehee, but to me, you look like you're having a grand old time. It's your birthday, after all. You should enjoy it.
Leona: You're right. And for that to happen, I'll humbly request the esteemed Diasomnia Vice Housewarden to be on his way, then.
Lilia: I'm hurt… I just wanted to wish you well. Happy Birthday, Leona.
Lilia: In lieu of gifting you a present, I suppose I'll do as you wish and say my goodbyes here. Have a great day!
[Lilia magicks away]
Leona: Heh, good of you to actually listen to others for once. I appreciate it, you damn bat.
Did anyone ever like attempt to document and compile the variations of Barney the dinosaur murder ballads across the elementary school system in the early 2000s. Like legit it has always fascinated me as a phenomena and I would love to know if there were like traceable regional variations or what.
Looking at the tags so far I’m kind of fascinated by how much the ‘I Love You’ parodies vary in their phrasing/murder weapons but the ‘Joy to the World’ ones are nearly identical
here is my collection of barney murder songs as they appeared in the notes and comments of this post at about 4 pm pacific 7/25, somewhat arbitrarily color coded to show similar memes. it appears that "baseball bat and 2x4" is the mode configuration but there is so much variation that that exact phrasing only makes up a small part of the set. if i knew more about statistical modeling i would turn this into some kind of data tree that shows which phrases are most likely to follow other phrases.
stormborns
izzy806
tangentwithtanner
titsay
