You can literally make anything and anyone problematic if you try hard enough seriously give me people and things and I’ll make them all “problematic” right now.
I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I would only write Lane Kim meta when I am very very angry because I need to be powered by spite and petty energy to unravel exactly how much of a disservice this show was to Lane and by extension any Asian kid with a similar life. And, well, it's happening now, so buckle up kids, this is going to be a loooong ride because I have a lot to say.
Before we start on the negative aspects, the show got a lot of things about Lane right, which is why I care so much about her character. Yes, ASP obviously didn't know how to write a POC experience and it's seen in the way some very harmful stereotypes were propagated (the tiger mom trope, Mrs Kim's religious beliefs, the depiction of the Kim extended family etc) but at the same time Lane was beautifully written as a character, unlike her plot which left much to be desired. Lane Kim was an Asian girl with rock n roll dreams who had an extremely fraught relationship with her mother and had to fight for even a semblance of independence. And I hate to say it but a lot of daughters of Asian households are forced to hide a part of themselves from their families, so Lane's story was authentic.
Not only was Lane amazing as an individual, she was also a great friend. She was the only one who was really in Rory's corner; she never judged her and supported all of Rory's relationships (my favourite example of this is when she barely tolerated Jess in S2/3 and then did a complete 180 like 5 episodes later, all because Rory decided to finally accept she liked him). Lane never pointed out what Rory was doing wrong not because she was afraid of doing so but because the two of them had been friends for years and Lane believed that Rory would figure it out one day. Lane shows this unconditional kindness not only to Rory but to everyone. She takes in her Korean cousin and teaches her to have fun even when she's afraid that Mrs Kim has replaced her, she lets Gil be in the band because she empathises with him, she takes care of the band and prevents it from breaking up multiple times. And these are only a few examples of Lane being the kindest character on GG.
One of the best things in Gilmore Girls is that the most unproblematic, amazing guy is given to Lane. Dave Rygalski is the best love interest on the show hands down (Sorry to my boy Jess but Dave was LEAGUES ahead of him at 17) and Lane definitely deserved someone like that. Their story was adorable and I would have loved for them to be endgame. However, what grates me is that when I see people talking about Lane "deserving better," it's usually about Dave vs Zach. When Lane actually deserved better as a WHOLE and not only in terms of love interests. I always thought it made more sense for her to end up alone at the end of the og series. Because Lane was a person who craved independence and she was not going to get that while tied to some guy (even if that guy is boyfriend extraordinaire, Dave Rygalski). It's even worse when we see that Lane is the only female character on the show to be treated this way. Rory rejects marriage for her career while Lane ends up with marriage as her storyline. Lorelai and Luke get back together but their relationship is still left open ended, though arguably it would've made more sense if they got married when Lane and Zach did. Paris gets into Harvard Medical school and gets a great relationship, similarly Sookie gets the family she wanted and continues to be amazing at her job. But Lane... god Lane is the only one without an open ending, without any space for speculation of where her life might lead her. Not only did they marry her off, they also gave her a terrible first time and twins, effectively locking her to Stars Hollow. The show even cut down all hope of her being a rock n roll mom as one of her S7 storylines is choosing the kids over going on tour with Zach. She doesn't get to be her own person for more than ONE season; she's stuck with being a daughter and then a wife and then a mother.
Something else that angers me about Lane's storyline is that we never really get to see how badly her relationship with her mom affects her. Don't get me wrong, I adore Mrs Kim's redemption arc and I think it was beautifully juxtaposed to Lorelai and Rory's crumbling relationship, but having a mother like that is hard. Not only did Lane have to hide 90% of her personality from Mrs Kim but she also lived with the fact that one day she might have to choose between her dreams and her mother. In the end, Mrs Kim makes that choice for her and deals with it by kicking Lane out in S4, and yet we never really see how that negatively affects Lane. Hell, Jess acts like a broody teen for two seasons, Rory wastes six months of her life away at the DAR and they both come out of it successfully. Lane gets kicked out, figures out her own living conditions, gets a job, works insanely hard for her band and... ends up having to give her dreams up completely.
Lane and Paris shared a lot of similarities too, even if they both had different friendships with Rory. They both came from terrible families and looked to Lorelai as a mother figure, they both cared deeply for Rory, and they were both incredibly passionate about their careers. Paris made calendars and flashcards and went crazy studying for both pre med and pre law. Lane was a walking, talking music encyclopaedia, she bought CDs obsessively and organised them by genre under her floorboards, she taught herself to play the drums and then found a band to play for. And yet... only Paris becomes successful in the end, whereas Lane takes over Kim's antiques. Lane was still a musician in AYITL and she can be rock n roll even with kids but this is all hypothetical and we never see it on the show.
There is a lot of terrible, lazy writing on the show and a lot of characters get ruined because of it but with Lane, her character stays the same, they just ruin everything else for her. I think she'll be an amazing mom and will probably make her best out of doing music casually. But the writers also took something so special and destroyed it just because Lane stopped being as important to the plot as she was in seasons 1-3. Lane and Rory drifting a little after Rory leaves for Yale makes perfect sense, that's just how relationships are, always changing. And yet as Lane's importance to Rory decreased so did her importance to the writers.
Lane wasn't the kind of character that needed character development or a redeeming character arc- she was never a bad person and nothing about her had to be fixed, unlike Jess or even Paris. All she really needed was for her dreams to come true because for the first 4 seasons her dreams were the biggest fixture of her personality. Like how Jess needed to overcome his trauma and Rory needed to figure out where she fit in and Paris needed to become a girlboss, Lane needed to realise her dreams because that's where her arc was leading her. But it just didn't happen. Instead, Lane becomes 2-dimensional; a large part of her screentime is taken up by Zach problems, her dreams fall flat and she becomes tied to Stars Hollow for the rest of her life. Not to mention we see less of Lane in favour of Logan and the dickhead posse.
This is not me hating on all the other characters I've mentioned in this meta, I'm just pointing out the lack of respect the writers have for Lane in comparison to all these other people who fulfilled the role they were made for. Why would you write Lane to have all these dreams and make her struggle so hard for 4 seasons just to smash them to pieces? And why is it that one of the only POC characters on this show is treated like this?
And you can't tell me the writers didn't know what they were doing, not when this is a direct quote from Lane in S7:
"It was such a small window -- a peephole, really. For years, I was this repressed kid, and then there was the briefest of windows. And then -- slam. All of a sudden, I'm this overburdened mother. I barely got to do it, Zach. I barely got the chance to be a person."
I know a lot of people have almost the same sentiments regarding Lane Kim story arc and i'm one of those. As someone with an overbearing mother i really did need to hide most of my personality on our home and seeing Lane struggles with that problem on the show makes me feel seen. What i really hate about her story is that it feels like she is being punished by being pregnant on her first time and not getting out of Stars Hollow, it feels like everything that she do is not going on her way, meanwhile Rory despite how many mistakes she made and not learning anything from it seems like things always work out for her. Lane has always been a great friend and good daugther, and i really hate it when they made her pregnant on the show like at that point i know that the writers don't care about her story anymore.
this is based on my personal experience. feel free to disagree.
- libra mars are really scary when mad at something, they give you some weird ass stare and they tall so smooth that's scary.
- the sign of your moon is how you act drunk. i've noticed that air moons are into talking, earth moons are quiet, water moons can get really sexual and fire moons are making jokes and just partying. i can be wrong tho
- october libras look like scorpios or am i crazy? they have some similarities
- virgo venuses are a real challenge if you want them to like you, but only bc ppl probably broke their heart really bad before and that's why they're one of the most devoted lovers
- please, gemini moon people are so funny. i can't stop laughing around you
- cap and scorpio in your big 3 (and venus) makes you a very intense and also rational lover. you feel a lot, but can't express it
- sister signs (like aries and libra) make terrible couples, idk why ppl try it. it's karmic almost every single time
- leo rising woman are EXTREMELY fairy!!!!! i don't think we talk enough about it. they are a confident sweet princes
- there's a huge different vibe depending on where the sign is in your big 3. for example, a aquarius sun is like a super unique person in a fun way, aquarius rising looks unique in an intimidating way and aquarius moon is unique and mature, like this person has all falling apart and they still can put it all together.
- leo placements make people obsessed with them!
- capricorn and leo attract each other very much!! I wonder why
- I've noticed that sags and scorpios either love each other or are like enemies. they both have a lot in common, the difference is sags explore their depth with a humorous/fun way and scorpios rather face it in a serious manner.
- all fixed signs are quite vengeful. if you do them wrong, they'll do you worse.
- cancers, pisces and libras give me good writer energy and i don't know why
- I know people say cancer mars are bad in bed, but if they are comfortable, they can be a bit freaky.
- LIBRA MARS, YES!!! I LOVE YOU!!! they are people pleasers!! i love you. just be careful with your partners. it's nice that you try to make other people happy, but are you happy?
- strong libra in men makes them selfish, argumentative and manipulative cheaters. i don't make the rules
- if someone has weak water in their birth chart, that's already a red flag. but I think it's worst for men bc of the way society sees men's feelings, and also the way they teach them to have and deal with others/their own feelings. he will be the type to say some shit like "idk why my girlfriend's crying, she's so emotional".
- people say aries' are like red, but I believe they're purple. purple's strong, bold and different, just like aries.
𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊
so, i tried making this post cute and aesthetic. can you tell me if you like it this way or you prefer how it was before? anyway, that's it. hope you liked it.
not to be a downer but your twenties are super hard and super lonely and tv lied and it’s not glamorous at all and if you are having a hard time it’s ok and it’s normal and you’ll be ok
Nobody requested this I just wanted to do it and I find these aspects fascinating. It is a pretty dark aspect for the most part tho, so beware. This definitely isn't the most upbeat description I've ever written.
TW: mention of EDs in the 2nd to last paragraph
💙So, it's no surprise these are difficult aspects to have in your chart. Saturn is a very harsh planet, so naturally, it makes things difficult no matter where it is in your chart. However, the Moon represents the most vulnerable parts of yourself. Your feelings, the way you emotional express yourself, etc. These two planets not only aspecting each other but also STRONGLY aspecting each other can REALLY test a person.
💙One other thing the Moon also represents is the mother/maternal relationships. Typically, people with this aspect have a distant relationship with their mother or barely one at all. Their mother might be on the older side when they had them. Their mother could also be very critical of them or generally closed off towards them while they were growing up. But overall, these people didn't get enough love from their moms.
💙While they tend to be very emotionally mature, they out of all people struggle the most with opening up. Most of them fall into two categories when it comes to that: #1, right after they open up they feel very guilty afterward, or #2 they just don't like to talk about their feelings. Point blank, period.
💙A nice thing this aspect does give somebody is the ability to be highly attentive. Whenever somebody comes to them and talks about their issues, they will listen patiently through every single second of it.
💙They have a habit of self-isolating despite craving affection (which hey, me too). Not fully aware as to why they do it, but I see it quite a large amount nonetheless.
💙Very harsh on themselves. Feel like if they're not busy 24/7, then they are doing something wrong. Tend to have extremely high standards for themselves too, and can get very upset if they can't be attained. A large portion of their emotional wellness rides on how accomplished they feel. Can be very sensitive towards rejection.
💙So this next note is very sad, but it's a scarily common trait I see in people with these aspects so I will address it. The Moon also rules over eating habits. Like I mentioned before, Saturn rules over restrictions. These people do not eat as much as they should most days or have difficulty eating what's considered a normal amount.
💙Overall, rough aspect. While they are very strong people, their feelings towards themselves and coping mechanisms can often cause issues for them. They also crave feeling accomplished and loved, so if you know somebody with these aspects pay them a compliment sometime.
What are the two most distressing moments in Rory Gilmore’s life??? The two moments when she felt lost?? When she had truly lost herself?? Lost her ambition and lost sight of her dreams?? After dropping out of Yale and in this revival. In BOTH of these situations, every friend and lover Rory had around her failed for MONTHS to help her find herself again. BOTH TIMES she continued to spiral DESPITE Lane, DESPITE Logan, and DESPITE her best friend and mother Lorelai. Nothing they did could fix what was broken inside of her. And, who, on BOTH occurrences, when NO ONE understood her pain, when NO ONE could reach her, WHO showed up and changed everything BOTH TIMES?? Jess Mariano. Anyone who wants to pretend that isn’t extremely significant is kidding themselves
Kinda don't want to talk about it here before but idk kinda believed it that Lucas situation... simply because of his apology. I know some people still believes in him but idk... everything seems legit to me
Popular people are not automatically your friends. don't speak to them like they are. As someone who has a good number of popular/high follower online friends, overfamiliar friendliness sets all of them off. They hate it. Think before you make that comment or send that ask/DM. In my own experience, I hate it too.
On that note, the notice me senpai behavior is weird too please stop
Don't dump without permission first. This means don't vent/rant @ someone (esp ppl you don't know) without checking if they're able or willing to hear it.
On that note, don't self deprecate on someone's posts, especially on art. Like literally who wants to spend hours on a piece just for a stranger to comment "man I wish my art could be like this mine is trash"
Don't beg for follow backs. Please.
Parasocial relationships DO NOT equal actual friendships. Just because a famous or popular person talks a lot doesn't mean you know them or they even care about you. Whatever you know is revealed explicitly on their terms. Don't demand more info or engagement than you deserve.
ALSO if the people sending you unwanted messages persist dont be afraid to block or mute them. i usually prefer muting when thats an option since it’s less harsh, but ive blocked people on tumblr for repeatedly sending me unwanted messages.
you dont owe anything to your followers, and if theyre causing you distress it’s your right to kick them out of your little corner of the internet. your account is your house and you decide whos allowed to come in.
Yep! My dad was in the Coast Guard during the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell era and one thing he mentioned was gay and lesbian service members marrying each other both for mutual bearding, and because married people got better housing.
Additionally my grandmother married one of her guy friends because her job offered dental insurance to employees and spouses and he needed some dental work done. They got married, processed the paperwork, got his dental problems fixed, made sure all the insurance payments went through, and divorced.
Two people getting married for the benefits has been going on as long as we’ve had benefits to marriage, and if two women doing it is homophobic then I guess someone’s going to have to tell my grandmother she was heterophobic.
like the thing that’s an actual problem is that these benefits are dependent on marriage. that people need, as in the example above, healthcare and may not be able to afford it without insurance shared by a spouse (let alone the other rights only extended to those with a legal partnership)
Reminder: disabled people have the opposite. We can’t marry ANYONE or we risk losing our benefits. It can work out if we are marrying someone who can support two people on one income, but that basically isn’t a thing anymore, so.
for the self-conscious beginner: No one makes great things until the world intimately knows their mediocrity. Don’t think of your writing as terrible; think of it as preparing to contribute something great.
for the self-conscious late bloomer: Look at old writing as how far you’ve come. You can’t get to where you are today without covering all that past ground. For that, be proud.
for the perfectionist: Think about how much you complain about things you love—the mistakes and retcons in all your favorite series—and how you still love them anyway. Give yourself that same space.
for the realist: There will be people who hate your story even if it’s considered a classic. But there will be people who love your story, even if it is strange and unpopular.
for the fanfic writer: Your work isn’t lesser for not following canon. When you write, you’ve created a new work on its own. It can be, but does not have to be, limited by the source material. Canon is not the end-all, be-all.
for the writer’s blocked: It doesn’t need to be perfect. Sometimes you have to move on and commit a few writing sins if it means you can create better things out of it.
for the lost: You started writing for a reason; remember that reason. It’s ok to move on. You are more than your writing. It will be here if you want to come back.
Thinking about how Rory had an entire starry-eyed monologue to give to Paris about finding "someone compatible," clearly thinking about Jess, and even when she hated Jess the most, she still had a litany of things she had liked about him to list in her conversation with Lane... but when she tells Marty that she likes Logan, all she can say is, "I don't know why."
My sense of fairness compels me to add that in the following episode (which I just watched, haha) Rory WAS more "gushy" to her mom and calls him "beautiful" and smart and "well read", so there is that. But as to the alleged "tons of stuff in common" Rory mentions, they apparently consist of "the paper", which he usually avoids, and... "Yale." As in... the school they both go to? Huh. Well. That sure is a ton.
Even those things are just qualities that Rory admires in Logan, whereas when she was talking to Paris before and (presumably) thinking about Jess, she listed reasons they would actually be a good match for each other. I think that ties in nicely with what ASP has said about Rory and Jess "getting each other" - she thinks of Jess in a very real...um, grounded?* sort of way, but she kind of puts Logan on a pedestal just like she did with Dean. The version of him that she likes is a little bit (or a lot, depending on who you ask) removed from the person he really is.
You know, I think that's a really good distinction, actually. And the thing about the fact that Jess and Rory "see each other for who they are" is that it didn't necessarily make their relationship easier. Because they were just as aware of each other's flaws as their strengths, both of them sometimes held back out of fear or mistrust, and that actually ended up doing a lot of damage.
And it's funny, because I've heard Rogan shippers claim that Jess "puts Rory on a pedestal" because he, I guess, held Rory to a higher standard than she was currently holding herself to? That's not how I see it, though, and everything Amy's said on the subject indicates that she doesn't see it that way, either.
no offense but support mentally ill people who hallucinate, who struggle with empathy, who have delusions, who are hypersexual, who have frequent mood shifts, who speak in ways you’re not used to, who behave in ways you can’t relate to, who have symptoms you consider “immoral” or “strange” and can’t help that fact
