I express my emotions! I am an Artist, are you?
Going about our routine lives, we often come across things or moments, which touch our hearts; make us stop for a moment to absorb the emotions. At times, we find ourselves perplexed and think. At times, we simply admire the marvel of things around us. Be it a powerful piece of literature or poetry, or a beautiful painting; a precise intricate sculpture, or an article, which connects both our mind and heart with it. We go through life swimming in a pool of emotions, and it can get tiring if we don’t pause to take a breath.
Art, in its variety of forms, had always fascinated me as a young boy. Also, because I believe I could see art, in nearly everything around me. I would sit for hours observing the carpenter hard at work as he crafted something magnificent with something that was nothing but wood and nails a while ago. That, to me was a display of sheer artistic ability. The vision of sculpting and pottery used to amaze me. But, one form of art, which always made my creative brain feel dwarfed, was whenever I saw a free-hand painting. There was something captivating about a painting, created with a bright and free mind, that I could not help but envy. There used to be paintings of roses and lilies in my house, painted by my mother’s aunt; just looking at them I would feel the urge to create something as spectacular and call it my own. However, every time I picked up a brush to paint, or a pencil to draw, the result would be no less than spilled paint on a crumpled paper.
Despite numerous art classes, I was neither able to put a smile on the face of the man I drew, nor make the fruits in the fruit basket I painted not look like a month old. That day I realized that there is something more frustrating than not having any creative thoughts, that is, not being able to express the creativity. The frustration fostered inside me as every attempt at finding a medium to let my mind be free, kept on backfiring.
In the 7th grade, I tried to take a break from reality and created a parallel world for myself. An imaginary world governed solely by me. I started penning down those ideas in the form of short stories comprising of aliens, action, adventure and practically anything that pops up in the mind of a 12 year old, but at the same time not losing focus from my beliefs, the strength of family bonds and friendship. I was encouraged by my teacher and my parents, which gave me the confidence to stand in front of that painting of roses and admire it without feeling dwarfed. But my search for new ways to express myself did not end with alien stories, I struggled with understanding poetry for some time, but I guess a few heartbreaks received and a few given can turn anyone into a poet. Immaterial of the fact that as an amateur poet I hunted for rhyming words and wrote colourless poems, but when I did, I felt alive. The blue-sky ideas trapped inside my mind for years had been presented with a gateway into the outside world.
Just like any other teenager, I lacked an interest in studying in school. To emphasize on that rebellious nature, one day I was doodling with my pen in my register as the teacher was teaching. A line here and a line there. I used a compass and scale just to add a little more detailing. When I was done, I showed it to one of my closest friends sitting next to me (who could not have been less interested in the class). He looked at what I had made, smiled at me, and wrote ‘90/100’ below it, and said, “achha hai, aur better bana sakta hai” (Its good, but you can make better)
What he said made me feel so good about myself, firstly, because it meant I had not just wasted the last 2 hours making this. But mostly, because he believed I could make something better. That moment I decided that I will not stop at this, and I will make that ‘Something Better’. Every other day that followed, I used to hide from the teacher, pick up my pen, scale and compass, and try to improve on whatever I had made before. I would show each design that I made to that friend of mine and he would mark me out of a 100.
One day he gave me 80 and I worked through recess to make another one that day, which fetched me, a 95. He kept increasing my score as the intricacy of my designs kept increasing up until the day I made this,
On looking at this he said, “I can’t mark these anymore, this, along with any that will follow are going to be above 100!” That moment felt like my training wheels had been removed, and I was free to ride freely, be prone to falling but having the confidence to get up and ride again.
Design after design, I could see myself improving, and my artistic abilities evolving. I started working with horizontal, vertical and diagonal symmetry, ensuring no repetition of ideas in any of my designs. I experimented with different stationery items trying to gain fluency in this new language I had just learned.
Near the end of 10th grade, my class teacher asked to see my math register and I told her I hadn’t made one. On being asked what I had been doing the entire year, I quietly opened the register with my designs, showed it to her and said, “This.” Struggling with slight embarrassment and attempting to hide her amazement, she spoke in a hushed tone saying, “Very good.” In her own sweet way, she had given me a pat on the back, which I will always remember.
I have always had a bit of an OCD when it comes to symmetry. I find myself instantly connecting with symmetry where I see it. My mother and I had a joke once, she said that, I would carefully observe the nose of my prospective girlfriend to ensure it isn’t crooked else it would break the symmetry. I replied saying, “I’ll date twins to maintain that symmetry!”
After nearly a year of making my designs on my registers, I decided to take this skill to a different scale after my 10th grade. I began with a chart paper, bought a compass which opened 15cm wide and could fit a my pen; a Reynold’s Racer Gel (Till date it is the only pen I use to make my designs). Having had been a night owl for the major part of my life, when the entire house used to go off to sleep, I would go into the study, and work on my design through the night. After 3 months of putting in minute detailing every day, my first big design was completed; Starry Darkness
Drawing inspiration from my life during that time, when I was 17, I created something I like to call, Eyes- Speaking Words Unspoken
Like symmetry, another thing, which never fails to catch my eye and rise my admiration, is the combination of Black & Red. This was something I had never realized before making this design.
Nearly 2 years after that, I ventured into another journey within myself leading to, Dark Romance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxUL_KRa64Q
I had developed a passion for this art, and the fact that I had never seen anything like this before made that passion grow even stronger. To this day, for that matter, I have been unable in finding a category to put this art under, so I just call them my ‘Designs’. Although the passion didn’t come without a strong possessiveness. I would flip out if someone took my design register away. Never would I agree to send a picture of my designs to anyone, worried that they could somehow be copied on a computer and my months of hard work could be replaced by a print. It was only me, and my family who knew how much effort went into making each one; physical and mental strain, time-consuming ideation and even harder execution. But my art, I feel, is like my form of meditation; I cut myself off from everything, work at night without any distractions and simply let my mind flow till the time the picture in my mind and that on the paper begin to merge into one. And once it is complete, I attain a state of true serenity and accomplishment, when I simply sit back and admire my latest creation! At that moment, all the back pain, the aching arms, legs and wrist just fade away, and all that remains is the result of all that, right in front of your eyes.
Even after achieving such detailed intricacy and perfect symmetry, my vision still faced one obstacle. Up until recently I had given up the hope of overcoming that obstacle and had accepted it as a fact. The fact that I could not venture out of the shape of the circle, because of my complete lack of free-hand drawing skills. Ever since I was a kid, I have been playing cards. I knew the rules and strategies of Poker before my classmates even knew what the 4 suits were. Combining my two passions, cards and art was a far-fetched dream. Mainly because no shape apart from the Diamonds could be made without free hand drawing, or so I used to think at that time.
2 months back I decided to do whatever needed to be done to capture that dream and put in all my time and energy into figuring out a way to make that happen. I took a print-out of the outline of Spades on a graph sheet. Then, after careful observation, I divided the entire outline of Spades into 10 segments, each comprising of an arc having a different center and radius. It took me a week to complete this process to perfection, but once it was done, I had the mathematical coordinates and dimensions to create the outline of Spades on any scale I wished! This was a monumental achievement for me because it meant I no longer had to restrict myself to the boundaries of a circle. It opened new horizons for me which I had long given up on. I was ecstatic the night I managed that.
There were many other challenges I faced during ‘Spades’ such as finding the need for a bigger compass, a better drawing board but the biggest challenge was to keep the hand steady while using the compass which was open nearly 1ft wide. First time – my fingers began to shake – scrapped. Second time – the compass slipped – scrapped. It was the third attempt when I was able to complete the entire outline in one flawless attempt. As the design progressed, I could feel the nervousness increasing and being transferred onto my fingers and they trembled. Any mistake at a later stage could lead to a waste of more than a month of hard work and more frightening, the death of a new hope and idea.
Two months after the conception of the idea and relentless effort throughout, on 9th November 2014, I finally managed to complete the biggest and trickiest design I have ever attempted. So here, I take great pride in introducing to you, Spades
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQEQma2Qx0E
Through this post I want to achieve a couple of things. I want to thank each and every person, who (in their own way) encouraged the artist inside me, helped me vent whenever I made a blunder, pulled me up and pushed me towards completing my target, listened to me whine about the problems I face and go on about how I managed to overcome them. I want to thank every person who has ever liked my work and I hope this art never dies. Last but not the least; I want to address every artist out there. By artist I don’t mean if you’re standing in front of your canvas holding a paintbrush. By artist, I refer to every person who has ever had a picture in mind that they’ve never seen in real life. Every person who has an idea that keeps building up inside them but fails to come out in tangible form. I speak to every person, who believes they have an ability that distinguishes them from the others, it doesn’t matter even if you don’t know what that ability is. Never stop believing! If you have an idea, a vision or even just an emotion, don’t give up on it. Keep experimenting with different ways to express yourself, make every day about learning a little more about your own self. It is only once you know who you are and what you’re capable of can you truly begin to appreciate yourself. No one is born a painter, a writer, a poet, a potter or even a carpenter. The true mark of an artist is the willingness to take risks and only if you venture out of your comfort zone and let your mind off the leash, will you be able to figure out who you really are. And who knows, you might just end up discovering a talent which no one even knew existed.
-Archit Uppal
17th November 2014
P.S. – If someone actually does know a name to category my style of Designs under, please do let me know!
theartofmadeline
gummygunk
janainaart
snowghoul
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